"Booth, I have to tell you something."

I'd had nightmares before. Nightmares of me killing people, of people killing me, of losing Christine, losing Bones. But this, this moment right here looking at Bones as she has this expression on her face that I can't read is worse than all of them. Because I know this is real and there's no closing my eyes and willing it away. And suddenly it's like we're in slow motion.

I feel my heart beating in my chest, it feels like a war drum and it pounds against my ribcage as if trying to escape. As if it's looking for a way to leave me so that it won't have to endure whatever it is the woman I love is about to tell me. And I don't blame it. Because I want to leave as well. I don't want to hear that one word. I can't bear to hear her tell me goodbye.

Every part of me is screaming at myself to do something, but what can I do? Telling her the truth isn't possible, though I wish like hell I could because I'd tell her in a heartbeat, let her know I want to marry her.

And God, do I want to marry her.

I want to marry her so much that it's like a physical pain. My whole body aches with the need to see her walking down the aisle towards me, that white veil over her face before I lift it and see those vibrant blue eyes. I need to slid the ring that will symbol our union onto her finger before kissing her in a way that let's her know that I've never been happier in my entire life.

But she has that look to her now and I'm afraid it'll never happen. She's going to leave me. She realized she's going to love me forever, she bore her heart to me, threw rational thinking to the side and asked me to marry her and I'd thrown in back in her face.

Fuck Pelant! When I get my hands on that bastard, I'll strangle him. I'll kill him for making me hurt her!

Finally, I broke.

"Uh, alright, look, Bones. Please just, you just gotta give me a little bit more times, that's all."

She shook her head, "No, Booth, I'm not..." I held my breath, waiting to hear the words that'd destroy me. "I'm not leaving you," she said, a soft smile on her lips.

I didn't wait. I pulled her against me, letting her bury her face in my throat as relief washed through me. Then guilt. How could I have thought that? After everything we had been through, after Christine. I should've known we wouldn't break so easily. Tightening my grip on her, I closed my eyes and sighed in relief.

"What I wanted to tell you," she began, taking a small step back to look up at me, "I have absolute faith in you. I trust you. I know you love me and Christine and...I'm sorry I lost sight of that temporarily. You're a good man. You have your reasons and when you can you'll share them with me." Her words were like music, but sad music because I never wanted her to blame herself. This wasn't anything she did. This was Pelant. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice trembling slightly as tears formed in her eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry." It was lame, I know. But I couldn't say anything else. Not with the risk of Pelant.

"We'll be fine." Her voice was firm. "But next time, it's your turn to ask me to marry you."

I felt my lip twitch into a smile, "I will. As soon as I can, I will."

"I know," she chuckled, leaning in to kiss me. And I kissed back because this was the woman I loved. And she loved me. And Pelant could threaten us, threaten others. But nothing could break us. Nothing.