Faux Girlfriend

Author's Note: I'm late, I'm late, I know, I know . . .

Let's See Here:

UpriverInk: Thank you. Much obliged.

Godgirl4ever: Thank you very much.

Broken Antler in Winter: Cliché but effective

AbbyNormalWriter: Thank you. Here it is!

3 Nighwing 3: I'm always here just . . . lingering. Typing at my rate that has slowed rapidly with the school year. My love for multiple chapter stories has grown, but they take so long! . . . . which is why I'm publishing all these one shots as I continue to work on the "bigger stuff." (I'm actually working on two at this moment. But still, just takes lots of time) I appreciate you stal . . . I mean . . . looking for my stories. :)

White Bishop: That means a lot to me. Thanks!

Guest: Thanks!

Queen Sound: Can never be too much Dick/Babs cute in my book.

Grayson: It's tomorrow! *Fanfare* I know I lied, I forgot about some school stuff that needed doing. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: Should be pretty obvious.

Faux Girlfriend

Dick leaned against the tree outside of Barbara's karate class building and pulled out his phone.

She should be wrapping things up soon. She better hurry; he was getting hot out here.

In the next moment, she burst through the doors with a smile on her face.

"Hey, Babs. How did it go?"

He watched as she rolled her eyes.

"Why are you wearing those silly sunglasses? It's not even that bright out." She asked.

"Because they look cool." He shoved his phone back into his pocket.

For some reason, she never liked it when he wore his sunglasses.

"You'll just have to suffer Babs." He said with a grin. "Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah, I think I'm getting really good." She answered.

"I noticed." He was proud of her. With all her batgirl training on the side, she was improving rapidly. "You're working hard. Do you want to stop and get

something to drink before we walk around?" He offered. She must be hot; he was pretty warm just waiting for her.

Barbara shook her head.

"Let's just get going." She said with a smile.

"Oooh! I have to stop for some taffy Dick. I'm all out."

Dick gave out a knowing sigh as their feet came to a stop outside of Barbara's favorite candy store Cavity. He knew that she was going to have to stop in.

"What happened to the bag I bought for you?" He questioned.

"That was two months ago."

"All right. Go ahead. I had a feeling that we would have to stop here." He gave a smirk and crossed his arms.

Barbara stuck her tongue out at him and went into the building.

Dick stood outside and watched as people walked passed.

Barbara loved this place. She was always going in and buying taffy.

That is why he bought some for her those months ago after she got done with a huge project.

Mrs. Herman had been very helpful in helping him pick out what Barbara would like.

"Uh, hello?" Dick called out into the candy store. He didn't see anyone at first.

"I'll be right out dear!" A voice called out.

Mrs. Herman soon appeared. She was a kindly older lady. A red polka-dot apron graced her waist.

"It's Nick, isn't it?" She questioned as she wiped off her hands.

"It's Dick." He clarified.

"That's right. Well I was close. Forgive me—problem of being old." She said with a laugh.

Dick smiled.

"What can I get for you dear?"

"I was hoping to get some salt water taffy for Barbara, but I don't know what kinds she likes the best.

Mrs. Herman smiled.

"That is so sweet of you. She's lucky to have you as a boyfriend."

Dick opened his mouth and then shut it.

He really should correct her and explain that Barbara was not his girlfriend.

"So how much do you want to get her?" Mrs. Herman asked as she put a plastic glove on her hand.

"Uh, how do you buy it?" He asked.

"Usually by the pound or I can just fill up a gift box for you if you." She motioned to the boxes on display.

"That's fine."

"The bag or the box dear?" She asked.

"Oh, a bag please. Do you remember what kinds she likes?" He asked.

"That I can at least remember. No banana, no root beer. She likes the watermelon . . ."

Dick watched as she scooped out the various flavors and put them into the bag.

It was kind of pretty all the colors together.

Dick blinked out of his thoughts in time to see Barbara come out.

"You should probably buy some her of business, you go there often enough." He couldn't help but tease her.

"Be nice to me or you won't get a piece." Barbara said to Dick as she came over.

Untying the bag, she held it out to him. He looked at it trying to decide which one to take.

"Are there any blue ones?" He asked. He liked the blue ones the best.

Barbara reached over and pulled off his glasses.

"Ouch, Babs. Worn a guy before you do that." It hurt behind the ears. He looked down into the bag. "Hey, they are in colors."

"Makes a world a difference when you aren't wearing these." She dangled them over his head.

"Is this blue one raspberry or cotton candy?" He asked as he pulled out a piece. He tried to take a swipe for his glasses.

He missed.

"Hard to tell." Barbara retorted.

"I'll be adventurous then." He unwrapped it and tossed it into his mouth. Definitely cotton candy. Yum.

He watched as Barbara pulled out a watermelon.

"Ready to go?" Dick asked.

"Yep." She replied.

Dick loved to walk around the city. It was so nice to be on ground level with everything. Normally, walking was discouraged, but they were Batgirl and Robin so

they were more than qualified to walk around.

They were still careful though. No need to take risks.

It was a good day.

Dick yawned and stretched out his arms over his head. It was a warm, sleepy day.

"Where do you want to go now?" He asked her.

Barbara looked up and down the street.

"Let's go right." She decided.

"Is your head okay?" Dick stopped to ask. She had been rubbing her head now and again.

"What? Yeah, just a headache." Barbara elaborated.

He watched her eat another piece of taffy.

"We've been walking around for a few hours. Do you want to stop?" He offered. Barbara wasn't one to admit that she needed rest.

"We haven't even made it to the bookstore up a few blocks. We can stop there." She said.

Dick knew that the store wasn't too far away.

The stopped at a crosswalk and waited for the proper time to cross. As the "walk" sign flashed, Dick stepped out, but noticed that Barbara wasn't following.

"Babs?" Dick questioned as he waded back through the crowds of people to get to her place on the curb.

"Sorry, my feet feel weird." She explained. She walked across the road with him at her side.

She looked like something was wrong.

"Babs, are you okay?" Dick asked seriously. He reached out a hand and held onto her arm. Something was obviously wrong.

"I'm fine . . . Dick. We can keep going. I just need to . . ."

"Your heart is beating like crazy. I can feel your pulse." Dick said as he held her wrist. It was like she had been running a marathon.

"All that walking." Barbara said as if that was a good explanation. He wasn't buying it.

"I just . . ." She started to say. She blinked a few times.

"Babs?" Dick repeated her name. It was like she couldn't see him.

She suddenly slumped forward. Dick grabbed her in time before she hit the ground.

Her bag of taffy spilled across the sidewalk.

"Babs? Babs!" Dick practically shouted as he shook her. He could still feel her pulse but it was beating rapidly.

He grabbed his phone and dialed 9-1-1.

The ambulance arrived quickly and whisked them both away.

Dick was trying hard not to completely freak out as he explained the situation to the paramedics.

"It sounds like she's just dehydrated. Calm down." The guy said as he opened a cabinet inside of the vehicle. "You're going to need oxygen if you don't stop

talking and start breathing."

Dick swallowed and tried to follow the advice.

It was hard to do with Barbara lying there unconscious.

They arrived at the hospital and they rolled Barbara inside on a rolling bed.

A nurse met them.

"She's dehydrated." The paramedic explained to the nurse.

"Are you sure that is it?" Dick asked hurriedly. "I mean it's not . . ."

The nurse gave him a smile.

"That seems to be the case. What's her name?"

"Barbara Gordon." Dick said quickly.

"Alright, don't worry. I'll start an IV. What is your name?" She asked.

"Di . . . uh, Richard Grayson." He said. He looked back at Barbara. She still laid there motionless.

"Does Barbara have a parent we can call?" She asked him.

"Uh, her Dad. Jim Gordon." Then the thought hit him.

The Commissioner was going to kill him if anything happened to his daughter.

"Okay then. I'm going to take Barbara, if you can help the nurse over there at the desk contact Barbara's father that would be helpful."

Dick nodded, but he hated the idea of leaving Barbara. But he supposed that he would have to.

"Okay, take care of her."

The nurse gave him a soft smile and nodded.

"Don't worry. I'll have someone come and get you when she wakes up."

Dick stood there hopelessly as he watched her being rolled away.

Dick paced back and forth in the waiting room that he had been shown after having helped the hospital reach Commissioner Gordon.

The waiting room was busy, but Dick didn't notice.

The room was nice enough.

There were real potted plants, there were some computers that you could use, and plenty of comfortable seats. His feet kept moving back and forth—he hated

this.

"Excuse me."

Dick looked up to see a young nurse in front of him.

"Are you the young man who had Barbara brought here?" She asked.

"Is she alright?" Dick asked. "Did she . . ?"

"You girlfriend's fine." The nurse assured him. "She's awake now and doing well."

Dick was relieved.

He should probably explain things though. But he supposed at this moment, seeing Barbara was more important than explaining their relationship to this

nurse.

He followed her down to a small room and was instructed to knock on the door before entering.

He did so.

He could hear voices on the other side.

The door opened and revealed the older nurse from earlier.

"Is she okay? Is she alright?" He asked.

"Don't worry she's fine." He was assured.

He went in.

"Babs, are you okay? I asked you if you wanted to drink before we started walking!" He pointed out. He should have just made her stop.

"I know, I know. Sorry." She grimaced. "But did you really have to call my dad?"

"What was I supposed to do?" Dick asked. "Have you taken to the hospital and not tell him? I'm not stupid."

What did she expect from him?

Dick ran a hand through his hair. He was worried.

"Are you okay now. Really?" He knew she probably was but he had to hear it from her lips.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. You always do this."

"I always do what?" He asked standing up straighter. What did she mean?

"You always freak out when I'm hurt."

"What am I supposed to do?" He questioned. "You collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk." He gave a shudder. He couldn't get the image out of his head. "And

last time you twisted your knee right as you landed on the roof."

That had been bad too.

Barbara winced as if she could still feel the pain.

"What did we tell my dad about that again?" She asked him.

"Uh, you told him something happened at karate or something like that." Dick tried to remember.

"I knew taking more lessons would come in handy in more ways than one." She said proudly.

Dick nodded.

It was definitely an advantage.

"Are you okay to go?" He asked.

"Just waiting for my dad. Instructions are to drink water."

"Actually after all this talk about water, even I'm getting thirsty. Do you mind if I grab something to drink really quickly? There's a water fountain down and

around the next hall." He didn't want to leave her again, but he really needed a drink now.

"Go. I'm not going to collapsed again." Barbara promised.

Dick took a close look at her before speaking.

"I'll be right back." He said.

"I'll be here." Barbara said as she crossed her arms.

Dick set his sunglasses down on the table and walked out of the room.

He wandered down the hall and found the fountain that he had told Barbara about. He took a good long drink and thankfully the water was cold.

He wondered when the Commissioner was going to show up. Dick hoped that he wouldn't be upset with him.

He was probably going to take Barbara straight home, and Dick didn't want to bother him with getting him home as well. Dick decided he should give Alfred a

call.

He dialed.

"Wayne residence." Alfred's crisp voice came over the phone.

"Hey, Alfred, it's Dick, do you think that you can come pick me up in a few minutes?"

"Just you? What happened to Miss Gordon?" Alfred asked.

"Uh, kind of a long story, but she got dehydrated and collapsed."

He heard Alfred gasp.

"But don't worry. I had her brought to Gotham Memorial Hospital and she's fine. The Commissioner should be here soon to take her home."

"Well, that is relieving to hear." Alfred said calming down. "I shall be there shortly. I will give you a ring when I arrive."

"Thanks Alfred. I see you soon." Dick hung up. He should be getting back to Barbara.

"Commissioner, hello." Dick said as he spotted Barbara's father right as he walked in.

"Dick." He said with a nod towards him.

He didn't seem to upset so far.

"I think that Barb is ready to get out of here. I'll pull the car around if you want to walk her down to the lobby." He said.

"Sure." Dick agreed. Whatever he wanted.

"Dad! You don't need to pull the car around. I can certainly walk to the parking garage." Barbara spoke out from where she was sitting.

"No you don't. You will wait for me down there with Dick alright?" He ordered. He stopped to pick up his jacket and left the room.

"Ready?" Dick asked giving her a grin. He already knew the answer.

Barbara sighed.

"Fine."

He barely heard her say it.

As Dick pressed the elevator button. He saw Barbara rubbing the spot where her IV had been.

"Does it hurt?" He asked her.

"Not really." She said as she gave a yawn. "I can't believe that my dad is pulling the car around. Sometimes he is as bad as you are."

"I'm going to pretend that that is a compliment." Dick said. He could never be as bad as the Commissioner was—he meant well though. He slapped the button

again.

"Eager to get out?" Barbara asked. He could tell that she was teasing.

"I don't like hospitals." He said bluntly. As if she didn't know that already.

"That's kind of harsh." She replied.

"Nothing good happens when you have to come to one. It means someone is hurt." He told her.

Hospitals always meant something bad had happened. Dick had never been to one for a good reason.

"That's not always true. Good thing happen. People heal . . . children are born. That's a good thing to visit for." She argued.

"Fine. Those things as good." Dick conceded. She had a point, but his point still remained.

"Barbara?" A voice called out her name. Dick turned to give her a look.

"Down here!" Barbara called out.

He watched as she walked down the hall and turned the corner. He wondered if he should have gone with her. She soon appeared.

The elevator had gone away so he slapped the button to call the elevator back.

Turning back to her, Barbara held out his sunglasses to him.

How did she have them?

"Where did you . . ?" He took them back.

"Nurse found them. She said my boyfriend left them." Barbara said with emphasis.

Dick took them slowly with a sheepish smile.

He knew he should have corrected that nurse. Barbara was going to be mad at him for not correcting her.

"Too bad she found them." Barbara said quickly. She faced the elevator door.

Dick put his glasses back on and hit the button again.

The door opened and they both got on.

There was silence.

The door opened and they both got off and someone got on.

After a few feet Barbara spoke up.

"Ah, this isn't the right floor."

Dick's head snapped up.

"Oh, we just got off. I assumed . . ." Stupid, he just thought that this was the right floor. He should have realized that they didn't go down far enough.

They both turned around and headed for the elevator.

Dick slapped the button hoping that it would come back quickly.

This floor of the hospital was quiet.

Dick scratched the back of his head and noticed that Barbara was rubbing her arm again.

He looked away quickly and stared straight up at the elevator numbers. At the moment, it wasn't moving.

Dick stood there awkwardly.

He didn't know why all of a sudden he felt so weird around her. Everyone always thought that they were together. They were used to it by now.

Dick could remember all the people who thought him and Babs were together.

There was that guy down at the bowling alley, one of the school's janitors, some kid who lived in Germany who Dick had met at a party, and the tailor who

made Bruce's suits. And now there was that nurse.

He didn't mind people thinking that Barbara was his girlfriend. He was flattered that people thought that she could be. If anyone asked him straight out if they

were dating, he would always say no, but if they just assumed—he didn't bother to correct them. Unless there was a chance that Barbara would find out, he

didn't want her to think . . .

It was just a complicated situation.

It wasn't like he wanted . . . okay that was a lie.

But what was he supposed to do about it? How could be even approach the subject?

Babs, you know how everyone always thinks that we are together? Like, as in a couple? Do you think that we could give it a try?

Yeah right.

As if he had the guts to even say something like. He slapped the elevator button again.

"Hey, Dick?" Barbara suddenly spoke up. "Do you know how everyone . . ."

"Sorry Babs, what was that?" He said. He kind of didn't catch the first part. He blinked at her behind the safety of his sunglasses.

He saw her swallow hard.

"What? Ah, pay attention." She snapped.

"Sorry . . . this elevator is taking forever." Why did he sound so nervous?

"I was thinking about how . . . about how people always think we are together."

"That? Funny isn't it?" Dick brushed off. He gave the button another slap.

Why was she bringing this up? Was she mad about the nurse thinking that she was his girlfriend?

He saw Barbara frown.

"That's not really what I meant." She said.

"Oh?" Dick tried to clear his throat.

"I just . . ." Barbara paused. "I guess I should have corrected that nurse."

Oh, she was upset about that.

"No it's fine. I don't care." Dick fiddled with his glasses. He was trying to sound bold about it.

"You don't?"

She sounded surprised.

"Why not?" She asked him.

He gulped.

"Well, because . . . I mean, you're not a bad person or anything, I would be . . . anyone would . . . you would be . . . there could be worse people that everyone

could assume was my girlfriend." He wondered if she would be okay with this.

She seemed to be thinking.

"What are you saying?" She asked.

"I'm not saying anything." Dick said. She obviously wasn't picking up what he was saying. He pressed the button again.

"Yes you are." Barbara charged. She stared at him. He turned his gaze.

She pulled the glasses off his face.

"Babs!" He objected. He didn't want her to be able to stare at him head on.

"Don't avoid me." She ordered.

He grabbed his glasses back, but held them in his hand. He wanted to put them on. He looked down at the floor again.

"Do you want me to b. . ?" Barbara dropped off.

Dick wished she would have finished the sentence.

"Babs I . . ." Dick pressed his lips together. How was her sentence going to end?

"Listen Babs, I often . . . but I never thought that it could . . ." He hoped that this was something along the lines that she wanted to hear.

He met her eyes and they stared at each other for a moment.

Did he even dare to try? What if he did it wrong?

He licked his lips and hoped that they weren't dry.

He slowly leaned in and prayed that his aim wasn't off. It wasn't.

Her lips felt warm and smooth.

It was a quick kiss. Soft and gentle.

He tried to pull back, but Barbara reached out and grabbed his hand. He stayed close.

They both stared down as they intertwined their hands. Looking back at each other, they both smiled.

Instantly, they both kissed again.

The elevator door dinged.

The pulled apart.

Dick stood there frozen. He looked inside.

The elevator had two nurses on board both pushing people in wheelchairs.

"We'll take the next one." He said finding his voice.

The nurse leaned over and the elevator doors shut.

Everything was quiet again so Dick leaned over and hit the button again.

Dick realized that her hand was in his when she gave it a tug and a squeeze. He gave her a bright smile.

Their lips touched each other's hesitantly at first and then more comfortably.

Dick let a hand wander into her hair. He loved her hair. He had always wanted to run his hands through it. He brought his other hand and slowly put it around

her waist.

He felt her hands go around his neck. He wished he could pull her closer.

The elevator dinged open.

They broke apart.

"We'll take the next one." Barbara said swiftly before he could say anything.

The nurse pushing the rolling bed nodded and slapped the button.

The doors closed.

Dick hit the button again.

He heard Barbara laugh.

It sounded wonderful.

Dick shared a grin with her and pulled her back against himself.

She pressed her forehead against his as they took a moment to look at one another.

She was gorgeous.

"I love your eyes; I wish you wouldn't hide them." She said quietly.

Dick was shocked. Was that why she didn't like his sunglasses?

"Alright, I won't then." He promised. She would be lucky to ever see them again.

She rewarded him with a smile and he kissed her again.

Why had he ever been scared to try this? It felt perfect.

The elevator door dinged.

"We'll take the next one." Dick said. Barbara said the exact same thing with him.

The man inside looked startled. He was carrying a bunch of flowers and holding onto a "Get Well" balloon.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "There is plenty of room."

He motioned around the elevator was empty besides him.

"Oh, ah." Barbara stuttered and glanced back at him.

"Well, there is plenty of room." Dick pointed out.

They got on board.

The man gave a smile at both of them.

"Lobby?" He asked.

"Yes please." Barbara spoke up.

Dick hoped that he didn't look flustered.

He could still feel her hand in his.

The doors opened to the bottom floor.

Dick watched Barbara pull out her phone as they walked out of the elevator.

"Hello? Dad?" She said. Dick waited.

"We'll be right out, sorry. The elevator took forever to come. I mean it kept being full." She said. "Okay. We're coming."

She hung up.

"Ready?" She asked him.

Dick shook his head.

"You go on. I called Alfred to come pick me up." He explained.

"But Dick . . ." Barbara complained.

"It's alright. It would be too much hassle to drive me home, so just go home and rest and I'll see you tomorrow at school." He promised.

"Tomorrow? What about tonight?"

He let her think about it.

"Okay then. Tomorrow it is. I'll see you then." She finally said with a smile.

"Alright then." He agreed.

Tomorrow was going to be lovely.

He leaned over and gave her one more quick kiss before giving her a push in the direction of the door.

He watched as the motion activated doors responded to her being close. He looked around the lobby—maybe hospitals weren't so bad after all.

The next day, Dick decided to take a detour after school and headed over to a florist shop nearby.

Entering the shop, he picked out a bouquet of flowers and brought them over to the register.

"For your mom?" The lady behind the counter asked.

Dick shook his head. He wished.

"They're just for . . . I mean, they're for my girlfriend." It sounded nice to say.

"Aw." The lady said looking them over. "That's very sweet of you."

Dick shrugged. He hoped that she would like them.

Dick came to her apartment and knocked on her door.

He hoped that she had been drinking lots of fluids. Before school, he had texted her saying that if she needed more water he could have some imported for

her. When she came to school, she had a nice new water bottle with her.

He could see a shadow through the peephole.

The door opened.

"Still hydrated?" He questioned.

Barbara rolled her eyes.

My dad is going to be forcing water on me for the rest of my life." She told him. "What are you doing here?"

Without another word, he pulled the flowers from around his back and handed them to her.

"Aww. Dick." She said. She looked happy. It made him feel good.

He gave her a smile.

"I'll see you later."

"Okay." She said smiling back.

She was so pretty.

He ran back down the hall.

As he got back down on the streets, a thought hit him again—he had a girlfriend.

He could live with this.

He gave a happy grin and headed home.

Random End Note: Okay, there we all are. Nice and done. Thanks for putting up with the wait! You know I love to hear from you . . .

Advice, and (gentle) [be nice please! :}] criticism, would be appreciated. Or a haiku if you feel like one.

{Dick/Babs because, HELLO! They are perfect for each other!}