I woke the next morning on a comfy straw mattress, wrapped in a warm blanket. I smiled sleepily, thinking myself back in Tialdarí Hall with the sun just beginning its daily ascent. Oddly enough, when I opened my eyes, I was happy to see Beorn's hall. I suppose I really had missed adventuring.

I grabbed my bag and a bite of breakfast from the table that was laid out, then exited the house, doing the Rimgar in the courtyard. With my muscles stretched and mind awake, I let myself back in to face the day.

Bifur, Bofur, Balin, Thorin, Fili, and Kili were all at the breakfast table when I entered. I was reminded of the morning over half a month ago in Rivendell, when I went to my first meal of the day with a silver dragon hatchling on my shoulder. It seemed like so long ago.

When Kili saw me, he grinned and stood, nudging his brother and walking towards me. Fili cast a forlorn glance back at his half-finished breakfast, then followed.

I waited for them to approach. "Alright," I said, pointing, "what's with the bow?"

"Archery lesson," Kili answered. "Come."

"Oh, not this again," I groaned. "Eragon, Arya, and countless others have tried and failed to teach me. Let's face the truth here: I have negative shooting skills. If I tried to shoot a tree, I'd end up hitting Sílfryn, and she's miles away."

"You can't be that bad," Fili objected. "Besides, what else were you planning to do while Gandalf is gone?"

"I don't know, I figured I'd sit around playing Fruit Ninja all day and levitate some stuff. Maybe make a fairth." Still, I followed them out of the hall, past the thorn hedge, and onto the grassy land between the mountains and forest. We found a clump of trees to use as targets, then Kili passed me his bow, already strung.

"And in Durin's name, be careful with it," he told me as I tested the draw.

I eased the tension, then said, "I thought you lost your arrows."

"Beorn has several quivers. Don't worry, I asked."

Fili handed me the sheath of arrows, which I slung over one shoulder and under my opposite arm.

"Any hints or tips before I make a fool of myself?" I asked hopefully.

Kili shook his head. "The best way to learn is to do."

"Very profound and equally useless. Thanks." I studied my target, the middle of the three trees, then dragged up what Eragon and then Arya had taught me. Body sideways, feet shoulder width apart, eyes on target. I drew an arrow, fitted it to the string, and raised the bow, drawing back cautiously. I took a moment to aim, the released. The shaft leaped from the string, hit bark at an angle, and spun away instead of sticking.

I lowered the weapon. Waited.

"Well," said Fili, then didn't say any more, perhaps wondering if it was possible to say "You're right, you pretty much suck" in a tactful way.

"It wasn't quite as terrible as you led us to believe," offered Kili. "You hit it."

"I was aiming for the other tree," I mumbled.

"Room for improvement, then," Fili said generously. "Although it looked good until the arrow left the string."

"So as long as I don't have to actually shoot something, I'll be fine. As long as they don't know how bad of a shot I am, I can threaten handily enough."

Kili studied me. "Well," he said at last, "I think I found one problem."

It was odd that I was relieved to hear I was doing it wrong. "Yes?"

"Your hands move slightly when the bow is raised. You need to keep them steady. Here, I can show you."

It went on for an hour or two. Despite my utter lack of anything resembling skill, I had fun. I think I improved a little, too.

When Fili looked up at the sun and suggested we head back, I said, "One more shot." I was feeling good about my last attempt. I knocked an arrow, raised the bow, drew back to the corner of my mouth, and targeted the rightmost tree, a crabapple or something similar. I aimed carefully, then released. The arrow went wide of where I directed it, but struck a small, green fruit that hung low on the branch, skewering it neatly.

"See? I can fake being a good archer just fine," I said in satisfaction.

My good mood did not last long.

I ate lunch by myself outside on the grass, talking to one of the greyhounds that had served us the night before. I couldn't understand the barks he offered me in return, but he seemed to enjoy my stories from Alagaësia, which I told in the Ancient Language. I struggled in places because I wasn't entirely fluent and I still sometimes had trouble with pronunciation.

When I was finished with my tale and my food, the greyhound wagged his tail, barked once, and trotted off. As I stood, I heard raised voices from inside the house, like someone was having a shouted argument. I frowned, then pushed the door to the hall open and walked through, thinking, What now?

The Company was seated around the trestle table, silent. Thorin stood next to his chair as if he'd just leapt to his feet, and if the expression on his face was anger, then "storm" is an adequate substitution for "hurricane". He saw me and we locked eyes, me confused, him seething.

"You." His voice was deathly calm. "Come." He turned and, without looking to see if I was following, stalked past me and out the door.

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry, then cast my desperate, pleading gaze around the table. Most of the dwarves looked just as bewildered as I felt. Bilbo was staring after Thorin with his mouth partway open, Balin had a pained expression, Fili looked hurt and confused. Kili refused to meet my eyes.

"You had best go after him, lass," Balin said kindly. "Be careful."

I nodded, then slipped outside, grateful for the warm summer sun that helped take the newly risen chill from my skin.

Thorin stood waiting, his arms crossed, wearing an expression that would have melted iron. I stopped six feet from him, noticing that he still managed to look down at me, even though I was much taller. I couldn't stand waiting, so I said, "And?" I wondered what he knew, what he had recently found out. I remembered how Kili avoided my gaze and got a bad taste in my mouth.

"I want to know who dies, how, and why you did not tell me."

My blood ran cold. This could not be avoided, dodged, misdirected, or skated over. Fighting to keep my voice cool and passive, I asked, "Figure that much out yourself, did you? Who told you?"

"That is no concern of yours." I envied the steel and ice in his voice. I was also frightened of it. People who sound like that when they talk are usually very, very angry and experienced with forging their emotion into a weapon.

"I'm pretty sure it is, actually. Although I have a good idea."

He remained silent and still. A drop of cold sweat rolled down the back of my neck as I considered my options. "You know the number?" I asked, desperate to stall for time.

"I might."

Stay calm. Stay calm. Ask Sílfryn? Starfire, what if-

"There are three," I blurted, then twitched as I restrained my hands from clapping over my mouth. Not for the first or last time, I cursed myself for being so skittish about delicate situations. What was really the worst thing that could happen?

"How do they die?" Thorin was just going to keep asking until I told him, wasn't he?

I stared at the ground, then closed my eyes and whispered, "I don't know." It was the truth, more or less. "I know when, and where, but the details are beyond my reach."

"I do not believe you."

A bitter laugh escaped me. "No, I suppose you wouldn't. You have too much experience with me withholding information. Unfortunately, this time I am telling the truth. I know roughly how the three die, but not enough to recognize the moment where it is supposed to happen. I don't even know if it's the result of an arrow or a warg or what."

"They die at the same time, then."

Stop telling him so much! "Roughly."

"Tell me. Tell me all you know, starting with who the three are."

I looked at him like he was crazy. Did he really think I would just hand out information like that? "If I've kept a secret this long, it means that I am not going to spit it out on command. If I refuse to answer a question, there is a reason." My voice got fiercer. "I've seen it in Alagaësia. I've seen what happens when you tell a person their fate, or the fate of someone they love. People will sacrifice themselves if they think they can alter a bad destiny, and they will sacrifice others as well, knowingly or not. And if they succeed, if they do manage to cheat fate and live on when they know they should have died, they become too proud. They believe themselves immortal, invulnerable." I remembered Ajihad, who pushed himself a little too far because he knew his moment of death had come and gone, leaving him still standing. Others became downright reckless. "And it will haunt a person, to know their own fate. It will haunt them and eat away at their courage. A battle where they would normally be rushing to the front lines, they wait out in darkness and safety. Bravery, rashness, stupidity, cowardice, wisdom- they all melt together and justify each other. I will not let the shadow of a prophecy hang over this Company."

Thorin stiffened, not bothering to conceal his rage. "You withhold information that could save three of this Company!"

"And could kill them all!"

"You have no right to judge who carries this knowledge!"

"You have no right, either!"

"And if you fail to save the three?" He was shouting now, and I winced at how easily this conversation could be overheard. "If they die all the same, what then? Can your magic bring back the dead?"

"Do you think I would be here if it could? Do you think I would walk halfway across Middle Earth just to save three lives if I could wish them all to life again after it happened? I've made things worse enough as it is!"

This was about the point where Orcrist came out. He didn't point it at me, or hold it in any sort of aggressive gesture, just swished the tip back and forth over the grass. Still, the message was clear.

"Are you actually desperate enough to try and threaten me?" I asked, my voice a low growl. "I think you are overestimating the value of my information. Besides, I could kill you by thinking a word."

"But you won't." Thorin's voice had gone quiet again, regaining its steel. "We both know you won't."

I ground my teeth in frustration. He was right, of course, just as we both knew he wouldn't actually try to harm me. We were left in stalemate. "Who told you of the deaths?" I demanded, hoping to at least resolve something.

"Who dies?" he countered.

I narrowed my eyes. We glared at each other for several seconds, and Thorin repeated himself. "Tell me who dies."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, and Darth Vader."

"That is not an answer. I am rapidly losing my patience, Syri."

Something finally snapped in me. "I'm leaving," I hissed. "I've had enough of this." I whipped around, ignoring anything he shouted after me, and threw open the door to Beorn's hall. I had one more score to settle. What filled me now was more than rage, it was betrayal. He had promised not to reveal my secrets. He had made me believe that he was on my side. Did he pretend to fall in love with me so I'd be easier to manipulate? That was the thought that really set me off.

"YOU!" I shouted, storming across the hall. "You lying, nángoröth dverga!"

Kili flinched, as if I'd thrown something at him. "I didn't...I just…"

I was barely aware of Fili grabbing me by one arm, stopping me, which was just as well. I had no idea what I would do if I reached Kili. Still, I struggled, shouting "Morceau de saleté!" My vision blurred and I realized I had tears in my eyes. I tried to wrench free again, then lashed out in the only way I could. "I trusted you!" I knew the others must be watching, listening, speculating. I did not care.

He stared at the floor, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet. "It was an accident. I did not mean to say anything."

"An accident?" I cried. I had ceased my struggles, but still FIli held me firmly. "An accident? How could you…" I couldn't even think of words to express myself.

Kili finally lifted his gaze to mine, and a defensive edge crept into his voice. "I'm sorry. I made a mistake and I cannot change it."

"I don't even see how you could say anything on accident! I thought you agreed to stay silent!"

"You're the one who is forcing me to pick sides! We're all going to the same place with the same goal, Syri. I shouldn't have to keep secrets from my own uncle!"

"It's not about sides and it's not about secrets! It's about keeping everyone in one piece until this whole thing is over with! I admit I've done some things wrong, but I thought I contributed something!"

"It's not about you, Syri! It's about what you know, what you have refused to share! I think we have a right to know about the three!"

"Not you too," I snarled, then spun around and jerked my arm out of Fili's hold. It was all I could do to keep from running as I headed for the door, which Thorin had just come through.

"Syri, wait!" Kili called. I recognized the tone. Desperation. I almost stopped, but I couldn't help thinking of his seemingly sudden romantic interest in me and how freaking tired I was of being manipulated.

"I'm going home!" I threw over my shoulder. "I never should have come here in the first place!" Once I was outside, I ran, not caring if they watched, wanting only to get away.

I'm leaving, Sílfryn, I called. I'm going back to Alagaësia where there's no future but the one we make ourselves. Coming?

I sensed her alarm, her questions. Syri, you're crying.

I'm not! I snapped. I shoved the memory of the disastrous afternoon at her, then turned myself away from the mountains and broke into an all-out sprint.

Stop. I'll come to you.

And then I'm leaving. I'll call up Eragon on the slate and tell him to get me out of here. I sat down on the grass, and pretended that my irregular breathing was from running so hard.

So you had an argument.

Drawn swords, shouting, and insults in three different languages. You could call it an argument.

Do you really want to leave?

They don't appreciate me.

And?

And what?

Does that justify leaving Fili and Kili and Thorin to die?

I stared sullenly at a patch of grass, then set it on fire because I felt like it. I'll come back. Before the battle.

And Kili?

The phrase You're the one who is forcing me to pick sides! floated up in my mind. I felt like a warg was chewing on my heart. He should at least apologize.

He already did! You should be apologizing to him!

I didn't...Okay, so I overreacted. They probably hate me now.

Syri...

If I ever see him again, I'll apologize. Happy?

Hmm. We'll see. Looked behind you recently?

I reached out my mind and barely made it three yards before encountering a familiar consciousness. How did you even know?

I guessed, Sílfryn sniffed. You bipeds are so predictable.

Gee, thanks. I did not turn around, waiting as the mind got closer. When it stopped a few feet behind me, I said, "They should have sent Fili. He's better at this sort of thing." I was surprised at how hollow my voice sounded.

"I came of my own accord," Kili said. "Are you really leaving?"

"That remains to be seen, as you Tolkienites would put it. Did you-" At the last second, I veered away from what I was about to ask, envisioning a fighter jet diving toward a firestorm: Abort, abort! Pull up! "Are you still angry?"

"Are you?"

"Yes." I did not have to think about that. The sudden kiss, the moments alone. The argument after lunch.

He took a deep breath and gave me a sidelong glance. "Would it help if I said I was sorry?"

"More than you could possibly know, but only if it was sincere. And..." I turned so I was looking squarely at him. The sight of Kili, standing beside me in a wreath of golden afternoon light, was more than enough to make my heart start its devious tap dance. This was annoying, because I was semi-furious with him and in no mood for such antics.

A BRIEF CONFESSION IN
THE STYLE OF THE BOOK THIEF:
I had harbored a substantial
movie-crush on Kili's character
ever since seeing An Unexpected Journey.

Before I lost my nerve, I blurted out the question I had originally tried to ask: "Was it even real, Kili? Was it ever real?"

The words hung in the air between us, an ugly thing no one wished to look at. I almost felt ashamed for my part in creating this horror, but it would have been worse to keep it within me and allow it to grow.

"So that is why," he murmured. Looking at the thing, but not directly addressing it yet. I waited, swallowing my apprehension. If he smiled and said don't be silly, I would snap. If he looked away and admitted that it had all been a ploy to gain my trust, I would snap.

He held my gaze. "If you promise to listen to the entire story, I will gladly tell you what happened."

"I promise." A whisper in someone else's voice.

There was a century-long second in which he lowered himself to the ground, cross-legged before me, and the only sound was that of rustling cloth and the rattle of wind against dry grass. "Do you remember how you first came to Middle-Earth?" The sentence ended in a question mark but was not an inquiry. "You fell out of the sky, like something from a legend. When you landed, you did not move and all I could think of was how horrible it was for a person to die like that. Not the death itself, but..." He smiled, almost apologetically. "...the story. There was clearly a story behind a woman falling out of the sky, but she would not get to see the ending. And you were beautiful, lying there as if sleeping, so I could not help but be entranced. Curiosity, I called it, and curiosity I had aplenty, certainly. It was not until Rivendell that I realized the extent of my emotions. It was around this time that Thorin asked me to...gather information. He had seen we were close, or at least that you were closer to Fili and me than the other Company members. I agreed. He is my uncle, Syri, and my king.

"I saw that you had a reason for withholding information, and I delayed in telling Thorin about the three for some time. When he asked me directly, however, I could not lie. I am sorry, Syri, but I do not regret, if you understand.

"Lastly, I want you to know that I have not lied to you, not about what matters. I even warned you in the clearing before Bilbo interrupted us. I care for you, more than is good for anyone involved, and while I am not deluding myself into thinking that this will change nothing between us, I had hoped that you could at least forgive me."

His tone made it clear that he had finished. I watched his face for what seemed to be the longest time, thinking. He wasn't lying. It might have been easier if he had.

"You did not play me false," I said. No emotion stirred my voice or face, despite the roiling mass behind it. "Yet you still used me. For that, I cannot forgive." I swallowed, bearing witness to the descent of Kili's expression from hopeful to crestfallen.

Another glass bottle, another razor-thin knife edge. A push in either direction...

I could tell him I wanted nothing more to do with him. I could leave this dwarf with a broken heart and a broken promise and never look back. I felt that these things were within my right as soundly as they were within my reach. And why shouldn't I? Kili had hurt me, and now even more so than before his name was practically an anagram for "trouble".

It was, I think, his expression. He looked like a man tied to the train tracks, resigned to his fate and awaiting the final blow but still possessing a wild and desperate hope buried somewhere beneath the bitter desolation. It hurt me more than I will ever admit, to see him so broken. And so I made my choice. Vrael help me, but I made it.

"I cannot forgive," I whispered, quiet enough that I could not hear my own voice. The wind stopped to listen. It was the deepest silence, the silence before a decision. "I cannot forgive," I repeated, louder, pressing my words into Kili with my eyes, "but I can understand."

As a student of the Ancient Language, I learned this very early on: With understanding comes control. Today, here and now, with grass pricking my fingers and the dwarf I had so foolishly fallen in love with regarding me as if I was the only person in the world, I learned the phrase a new way: With understanding comes acceptance.

Love. What did I know of it?

I smiled, still hesitant. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry for my part in this mess." The ground fell away as my body moved of its own volition. I was left standing, gazing unseeingly at the distant forest, until I turned back toward Beorn's home. Before I could take a step, Kili's hand grasped mine. "Don't leave," he begged. "Please, Syri, don't leave me like this." I do not deny the slight thrill of fear that shivered through me at his words. I still sank back down before him. What choice did I really have?

"Kili," I murmured. I allowed myself to bridge the short distance between us and slide two fingers along his jaw. For a split second, my resolve faltered. Why was I doing this? How was I doing this? Three months ago, I could never have worked up the courage for a simple gesture such as this, and now it came smoothly and easily.

He did not move. I could see the tension in the set of his mouth and his deer-in-the-headlights gaze. So fragile...

I breathed his name again, then said, "I want this to be an obstacle, not a roadblock. If you don't feel the same, I'll understand." This is as close to forgiveness as I can give, I added silently. Take it or leave it, but decide now.

Kili opened his mouth part way as if to speak, then closed it and smiled somewhat ruefully. I still hadn't taken my hand away, and I suddenly noticed how close he was...much closer than he had been...much closer than he should be...

When we entered, everyone's heads snapped around to look. I smiled apologetically at the room in general and was relieved to see several of the Company smile back. So not everyone hated me. I looked around but did not see Thorin, which worried me but probably not as much as it normally would. It was hard to feel concerned with my lips tingling still and my heart doing handsprings in my chest.

Fili came right up, looking like he had a thousand questions he wanted to ask, but just nodded to me and said, "I'm glad you decided to stay."

I grasped for something to say, something that would explain my change of heart besides "Kili is a really good kisser" (and let's be honest- that really was only a small part of it). "Your brother has a way with words," I finally got out.

The corners of his mouth twitched. "I think you have a larger vocabulary, though."

I flushed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start screaming things. It just sort of...happened."

"Hmm. Dare I ask what it was that Thorin said to you?"

"No, I don't think you do."

"Oh, come on, Syri," Kili called. "He should know."

If I told Fili, the three who die would be the only ones to know that three were supposed to die, besides me. How ironic. "I don't..." I looked helplessly between the two of them. I couldn't really ask Kili to keep secrets from his own brother after our argument. "Look, do you want to tell him? Because I think I am far too wrung out to handle this right now."

Both of them looked at me in surprise. Bilbo shuffled closer, clearly interested. I left them to sort it out, excusing myself and retreating to a corner with my iPad and my Adele.

It wasn't long before people drifted over to ask what happened. I tried my best to be vague, saying nothing about the three or the particulars of what Kili had said and done to convince me to stay.

I had started in with "Rolling in the Deep" when I felt Thorin approaching. "Hello," I said without looking up.

There was a very folded-arms sort of silence, then, "You came back."

"Yup," I said, holding the iPad closer to my ear. "Kili managed to convince me he wasn't a lying, nángoröth, morceau de saleté. And I probably should stay to keep you out of trouble in Mirkwood."

"Why? Do the three die there?"

"Oh, not this again," I groaned.

"Syri, you need to tell me. What if-"

I turned the volume of my iPad all the way up just in time for "Don't underestimate the things that I will do" to blare from the speakers, making Thorin (and several others) jump. I calmly ratcheted down the music and held it up to my ear again. I shrugged when he glared at me. "You were saying?"

"I can't let you-"

"Sílfryn was right," I observed. "Arguments usually are quite circular. If you're not going to say something new, please leave me to listen to Adele in peace."

Thorin scowled and turned to go. I was struck with sudden inspiration. Before he made it more than a step, I rose, grabbed his shoulder, and in a low, fierce voice whispered, "I will do whatever it takes to save the three."

He regarded me warily for a moment. I met his gaze evenly, daring him to find any grain of falsehood in my words. My experience with the Ancient Language has taught me to never, ever use extremes like "whatever it takes" and "never, ever", but Thorin needed to hear me say it and I doubted the situation would ever arise when I would feel the urge to break this vow. Finally, slowly, he nodded.

A feeling of rightness settled on me, the feeling that something had finally clicked into place. I retreated back into my corner and finished my Adele album, then went to find Fili and Kili.

Bet you thought Nim had given up on our Syri Farseer! Now, what could have possibly caused such a long hiatus?

a) A complete lack of anything resembling inspiration
b) A new fanfic that ate up much of my free time
c) Ditto for a new video game
d) ISSUES
e) A partially completed chapter that just didn't read right and was painful to edit
f) A list of excuses that wasn't going to write itself
g) All of the above

You get three guesses.

As for commentary on this chapter: Eesh, if Syri had wifi, she'd be updating her FaceBook relationship status like five times a day. To be honest, she was being rather unreasonable about this whole business. Bad Syri! Kili meant well!

I had to delete and rewrite huge portions of this chapter, and it still didn't turn into something that I particularly like. Bah. Why even bother with this whole "oh, they have RELATIONSHIP ISSUES now" story arc? Beats me. My characters wrote themselves. I wanted this romance to seem a little more realistic. The voices inside my head told me to do it. Take your pick.

Hmm, on to Mirkwood next chapter? Ohhh boyyy there is some fun stuff there. Like, picture me saying, "You know what would be awesome?..." and then writing out like four chapters worth of material for it before I even decided whether or not to include it. Mirkwood is on The List, The List being a list of things and/or places with plot twists revolving around them. So far, The List includes Mirkwood, the Arkenstone, and the Battle of Five Armies. We shall see...

Review Replies:

Guest- So sorry about the hiatus! I hope I will be able to update these chapters with some semblance of speed once more!

DGfleetfox- Yes, I am hoping to introduce Bilbo to Temple Run soon :)

lovec1990- Yeah, the reaction to Via is one thing I hesitated before posting because it's not very realistic. I would go back and rewrite it, but that would end up changing some plot stuff and I'm lazy. I have part of a Smaug/Sílfryn battle written out, actually. Don't worry, it mostly consists of her fleeing in terror and Kili being consumed by a raging inferno. Oops, spoiler alert. (Or am I just saying that?) Also, I have an idea of how I could get Thorin through the dragon sickness, but I'm not sure if it will actually work because it would require him to place a lot more trust in Syri than he is currently willing to give. Maybe I'll just kill him.

REDRydingHood- I'm glad! That was a fun scene to write :)

Little-leopard3- Sorry you had to wait so long.

Guest- Why thank you! Glad you liked that last bit.

As always, thanks to everyone who read and reviewed and faved and followed (-takes breath-) and I hope you continue to enjoy!