Story contains some adult themes and bad language. The first few chapters will be jumping back and forwards in time in a series of flashbacks I hope it isn't to hard to follow. Let me know what you think and weather its worth carrying on.

Chapter 1

12th June 2008, New York

Don Cragen replaced the phone receiver into its cradle his hands trembling. He sat back in his chair and felt the tears falling down his face. He wiped them away and took a deep breath trying to control sick feeling in his stomach. He heard talking and laughter coming from the squad room and stood up from his chair, and looked out through the window and sighed he had to tell them now, before the news got out. He walked slowly to the door and pulled it open. He stood looking at his Detectives they looked happy and he was about to put an end to it.

"Guys…." He called out, they all looked towards him, "Can you come in here, I need to tell you all something." He turned around and walked back into the office and sat on the edge of his desk.

"Close the door and take a seat," he told them as they came in.

"Cap you okay, you don't look too good?" they all sat in the chairs in front of his desk and looked at him.

"I err… I just had a call," he heard his voice breaking; he cleared his throat as he looked at them. They all sat looking knowing whatever he had to tell them wasn't good. "Jesus…." He said rubbing his face. "It's not good…. I ….Its Elliot." He said looking at them all his eyes stopping on Olivia. She looked at her Captain and seen the tears forming in his eyes. "There is no easy way to say this…" he said his voice breaking,

Olivia started to shake her head.

"God No…please no" she whispered. "Please don't say it..."

"I'm so sorry….. He was killed early this morning…" said Cragen a tear escaping from his eye as he looked at the three Detectives sat in front of him. Fin and Munch just looked at him not knowing what to say.

Olivia didn't hear anything else past he was killed this morning, her body began to shake, and she couldn't control it. "He can't be … I only spoke to him last night, he called me… he's not dead, he is visiting the kids, he can't be… He is only on vacation for the week"

She took her phone out and called Elliot's cell phone, it went straight to answer phone. "Damn it Stabler, quit fucking about and answer your phone!" she yelled.

Munch and Fin looked at her Munch wiping at his eyes, while Fin just sat. Cragen dropped down in front of her and took her phone from her hands.

"He's gone Honey," he said taking hold of her hands. "I'm so sorry."

She shook her head "No he wouldn't do this, he wouldn't just leave me, he wouldn't do that….. He promised me, he said he would always be here." The tears started to fall. "He wouldn't leave me…. He is my Partner, he can't do this," she sobbed. Cragen pulled her into his arms and held her as her body shook. She pulled away quickly and vomited as Cragen rubbed her back.

"I will get some tissues" said Fin needing to do something.

"It's okay Olivia," said Cragen.

"No its not!" she yelled. "He broke his fucking promise, he told me he would always be here, and he lied!" she jumped up and ran from the office. Cragen looked at Munch.

"Go with her, stay with her no matter what she says or does." Munch nodded and ran out after Liv passing Fin who was coming back into the office.

"What happened Cap?" he asked the older man as they both sat down.

"Car accident. He went off the road and down the embankment the car rolled and burst into flames, he didn't stand a chance."

"Was there anyone else involved?"

"No it looks like he just lost control, the car is being checked over now. It just looks like a bad accident."

"Have Kathy and the kids been informed?"

"Yeah… they are being told now, Kathy lives with her parents in Florida since the divorce so local police are handling it, Elliot was heading to the airport when It happened."

"Cap…. Olivia….."

"We just need to be strong for her; we need to be here for here."

07th Nov 2010, Afghanistan.

"Can somebody please pin point these Fuckers and take them out!" Gunnery Sgt Mick Shaw yelled, over the noise of machine gun fire.

"Fuck!" yelled the Marine to his left as a round whipped past him.

"Keep your Fucking head down."

"Gunny I got them, 3 O'clock 600 meters."

"Well what you waiting for get tracer's rounds down there" he yelled grinning at the young Marine. The young man grinned back trying to hide his nerves as he took up his position and opened fire sending tracer rounds to the enemy's position. No sooner had the rounds been fired at the location than the rest of the Section opened fire, taking out the enemy position.

Shaw stood up slowly and surveyed the now quiet area. He motioned with his hands for everyone to stand up.

"Everyone Okay" he shouted down the line. He was answered with several "Yeah's and fine's". "Okay let's move." His section carried on their Patrol slowly towards the small village in the distance. They were out on a reconn patrol after intelligence had come back saying there was a Taliban arms hide out in the village. They were to observe the place and take photos ready for a future take down of the place. They stopped half a mile from the village.

"Sgt take Miles, Banks, Burns and Walker with you and check out the left side of the village. Do not move any further forward than this point. We will move out at 0400 hours that gives us ten hours to collect as much info as possible."

"Got it Gunny," he said moving down the line and touching each of the men on their shoulders to follow him.

Shaw signalled to the other four Men in his section. "Get dug in along the ditch, get as much info as you can before the sun sets, keep alert as we know from earlier we have hostiles in the area."

The men spread out keeping low and moving slow. Shaw looked down on the village, it looked quiet, but looks can be deceiving. As the sun set they took out night vision goggles and carried out their surveillance. Nothing had happened and they hadn't seen any movement for the last 6 hours.

"Gunny," said a voice from behind him. "You sure the Intel on the place was right, the place is like a ghost town."

He shrugged his shoulders "We go with what we are told Harvey that's why we are here. Why you got somewhere else and something better you could be doin." He went back to watching the village.

"Gunny look at nine o'clock." Shaw looked were he told him.

"What the hell…" he looked and watched as three men dragged a young girl towards a building on the outskirts of the village. They were waving weapons around and laughing. The girl who looked no older than ten fell to the floor. One of the men laughed and kicked her in the stomach; he bent down and ripped her clothes off, before dragging her by the hair into the small building. One of the men sat outside the building and starting smoking.

"The fucking Bastards are gonna rape her," snarled Shaw. He took off the radio he had attached to his back.

"Gunny what you doin?" asked Harvey.

"Getting her out of there" he told him.

"You can't…. You can't just leave your post and go in there, you said yourself we have a job to do."

"Yeah and I can't just sit here while a young girl gets brutally raped by three men. We are supposed to be here to help the local people," He told him. "Stay here and keep watch, I will be as quick as possible."

"Damn it Gunny" he said as he got on the radio and warned the others what was going on.

Shaw made his way as quickly as possible towards the building, keeping hid in the shadows. As he got close to the building he crawled the last few meters and got behind the building. He could hear the young girl screaming from inside the building. He moved silently up behind the man outside the building and grabbed him round the neck and put him in a sleeper hold until he passed out, and dropped him to the floor. He gently cocked his weapon and made his way towards where the girl was screaming.

He looked in the building and seen one of them lying on top of the naked young girl, whilst the other one stood watching and laughing. He silently walked up behind the man watching and put his pistol to his head.

"Drop your fucking weapon," he warned him. The man turned and went to raise his weapon; Shaw smashed him in the face with his elbow knocking him to the floor. He turned his pistol on the other man who was still on top of the girl but had turned to see what was happening.

"Get off her!" he told him, the man slowly pushed away from the girl, who curled up into a small ball on the floor crying. Shaw took his rifle and hit the man in the side of his head with the rifle butt, the man dropped to the floor. "Stay there you fuckin prick," he cursed as he kicked him in the stomach as he went to the girl and crouched down beside.

"Hey sweetheart," he said in a soothing voice. "You're gonna be okay, your safe," he told her, not knowing if she could even understand him. He looked around and see a dirty blanket on the floor and picked it up and wrapped the girl in it. "Come on let's get you out of here." He reached towards her and picked her up in his arms, holding her close to him. She was still crying and he wiped her tears away. "Its okay, you're safe now," he said as he carried her out the building. He had a quick glance around and didn't see anyone, staying in the shadows he quickly made his way back to his section.

He felt a sharp pain in his lower back as he fell to the floor still holding the girl in his arms. He heard the sound of gunshots and yelling before everything went black.

He heard voices shouting "Stay with us Gunny… we got you" he tried to open his eyes but couldn't. "We need to stop the fuckin bleeding….. He is gonna bleed to death…" it was the last thing he heard as he lost consciousness.

12th June 2008, New York

John followed Olivia to the roof, he found her slumped to the floor hugging her knees. He walked over to her and sat on the floor next to her, without speaking, he knew she would talk when she wanted to. Despite the warm weather he felt her shaking next to him, he took off his jacket and put it round her shoulders and pulled her to him putting his arm around her.

"How could he do this," she sniffed. "How could he just leave me without saying goodbye?" Munch never spoke he just held her, what was he supposed to say to her. Her Partner and best friend was gone. The one person she could always count on to be there had gone.

"I can't do this without him John, we tried, we always come back to each other…. How can I do this without him?"

John pulled her to him and held her tightly "Your strong Olivia and I know it doesn't seem like it but you will survive losing him, we all will…. We will all miss him."

"He wasn't supposed to go like this," she sniffed. "We used to joke about how when we went it would be in a blaze of glory, in some big gun fight, saving someone. He wasn't supposed to go in some stupid accident or something….. I don't even know how he ….died." she cried. She pulled John close to her and cried her body shaking. "I loved him and I didn't even tell him, I never had the guts to open up to him and tell him, and now it's too late he will never know."

"He knew Olivia, deep down he knew just like you know he loved you. You guys didn't have to say it to each other, to know."

John sat on the roof and held her until it grew dark. "Come on Olivia we should go back in Cragen and Fin will be worried." He pulled away from her and stood up. He reached down and took her hands helping her to stand and they walked together off the roof.

Cragen, Fin, Casey and Melinda all looked towards them as they walked back into the squad room, Fin stood up and went to her and put his arms around her and held her tight.

"We are all here for you Baby girl," he whispered to her as he held. Olivia nodded and looked at Casey who was stood off to one side her eyes red from crying. Munch was holding Melinda.

"We came as soon as Cragen called," said Casey. "We all need to be together at a time like this."

Olivia looked over to his desk. Pens were thrown across it just left, a half drunk cup of coffee. She went over and sat in his chair and picked up a photo of him and his kids, "I love you El," she whispered as the tears fell again.

Well what do you think worth carrying on or not? Let me know.