Wheeliefan101: *looks around* (whispering) No Autobot–or Decepticon, for that matter–is around. Which means that can't stop me from saying I OWN TRANSFORMERS!
Mirage: *turns off cloaking device* Just what do you think you're doing?
Wheeliefan101: *scared from seeing Mirage appear out of nowhere* AAAAAAHHHHH! *passes out*
Mirage: Ha ha, nice try, Wheeliefan101
Said author: *doesn't move*
Mirage: Wheeliefan101?
Wheeliefan101: *still not moving*
Mirage: Okay, you can stop now
Wheeliefan101: *doesn't stop not moving*
Mirage: I'm serious. Just because you don't own Transformers or intend this for offense, doesn't mean you can pretend your dead
Wheeliefan101: *stays unmoving*
Mirage: ...101?
Chapter 1: How to cope with crazy
#1 When the Decepticon twins are capturing you, do not try and put up a fight
You will lose
And they will laugh at you
Which is, BTW, not good for your self esteem T.T
#2 When you have been captured by the Decepticons, do not run around in circles screaming
Some Decepticons will laugh at you
Others will stare at you like you lost your nut
The remainder of the group will hit you and tell you to "be quiet"
Only in more colorful terms
MUCH more colorful terms
#3 Do not let the twins tell you that Megatron likes being called Megsy or any names related
I actually fell for it
Megatron is really scary when he's mad
I'm lucky I was a second faster than his foot
If you'll excuse me now, I must run for my life
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
#4 Do not tell the twins you have never pulled a prank
The twins were doing something
And I asked what they were doing
They told me they were preparing to prank Hook
Since I was already there (and they probably didn't want me to squeal), they asked if I wanted to help them
I shrugged and said I had never actually really pulled a prank
BIG MISTAKE!
The two just stared at me
And stared at me
And stared at me
And stared at me
...and stared at me some more
JUST when I was getting very uncomfortable under their gaze, they exclaimed that we'd have to get started right away!
That there was so much for them to teach me!
So they dragged me off to a pranking spree
I should've run away while I had the chance
...although it was actually kinda fun
BUT
They're not kidding when they say Soundwave is the eyes and the ears of the Decepticons
Soundwave was more forgiving towards the twins because they have a special sort of relationship (or maybe it's because they're the same species...)
He wasn't merciful to me
It's expected from the twins but they wanted to straighten me out when I first did it
STUPID SOUNDWAVE AND HIS CASSETICONS!
#5 Do not give Rumble and Frenzy the silent treatment when you are mad at them
I did
One of the biggest mistakes I've ever made
They used their earthquake thingies on me
They kept annoying me 'till I finally yelled at them to stop
They looked at me like I had really hurt them with big sad puppy-dog-optics
I apologized
They acted like they didn't believe me
It took a lot of coaxing and apologizing
They asked me to do something embarassing to prove I was sorry
I did it
Thundercracker had caught the whole thing on tape
Yeah, I'll be avoiding that guy for a while...
#6 Do not ask the twins to let you watch a movie with them
I was just gonna watch The Iron Giant
Honest!
But somehow...
Someway...
I ended up watching a show with an axe murderer where the girls were all chainsaws murderers and wearing unappropriate clothing
The cons came into see what all the screaming was about (the screaming was from yours truly)
Of course the twins blamed it on me
Soundwave lectured me
Mark my words...
REVENGE. WILL. COME!
#7 Do not fall asleep in Rumble's lap when watching a movie
I was exhausted
The movie was boring
Rumble was sitting next to me
I didn't even know I was asleep in his lap 'till I woke up to the sound of whistles and "ooooooooh!"s
Now all the 'cons think we're lovers
Rumble is avoiding me like cosmic rust
I locked myself in a closet
I didn't come out 'till I heard that growl...
Turns out I wasn't alone
#8 Do not let the twins make you consume energon
I was asleep
I never saw it coming
The twins said it was just a prank
It took ALL the Decepticons to hold me down
They told me I was screaming that purple polka dots would eat us all and we had to call the fashion police if we wanted to ever slurp pants again
I finally calmed down when Hook gave me knock out gas
I still have no memory of that
#9 When pulling a prank with Rumble and Frenzy, always make sure you have somewhere to hide and someone else to blame
Frenzy, Rumble, and I pulled a prank on Skywarp
I hid in the Wreck room, under the couch for 2 days
They asked me why I was hiding
I told them it was because Starscream had pulled the prank and I was scared he would step on me because I'm a witness
It worked
Starscream's now in the Brig
I'm dreading the day he gets out
#10 When blaming your prank with the twins on someone else, never choose Megatron
They surrounded me
I panicked and blamed the first person that came to mind
Unfortunatley, that happened to be Megatron
That was my stupidest mistake ever
Because:
A. you can't exactly put your leader in the brig and
B. Megatron was the one we were pulling the prank on
I got put in the brig
I cried my pretty little heart out
Some of the cons noticed and laughed
As soon as I got out I began chasing them with Hook's buzzsaw
I got put back in the brig
I am VERY mad right now
Wheeliefan101: X_X
Mirage: Ratchet, get in here! She's not waking up!
Skywarp: What? What?
Mirage: You're not Ratchet!
Skywarp: And you're not Jonny Depp!
Mirage: ?
Skywarp: Don't worry, I'm a trusted surgeon. Stand back
Mirage: *steps back*
Skywarp: *dumps bucket of water on me*
Wheeliefan101: Huh?! What?! Who painted the space pirates blue?! Did the Yankees win?!
Skywarp and Mirage: What?
Wheeliefan101: *sees bucket* YOU! YOU DUMPED WATER ON ME!
Skywarp: Watcha gonna do about it?
Wheeliefan101: GIMME THAT BUCKET!
Skywarp: *holds bucket just too high for the author to reach*
Wheeliefan101: *jumping* Hey! Not fair!
Skywarp: I'll show you what's not fair *picks up author*
Wheeliefan101: *covers eyes* Oh no! High, very high! Too high!
Skywarp: Review or I'm dropping this squishy in a vat of caramel
Wheeliefan101: WHAT?! NO! EW! I HATE CARAMEL! REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW!