"You're my sister?" Kurt demanded.

Faith stood there staring at him, unblinking, wondering what the hell she had gotten herself into.

Maybe looking for Mama's baby daddy hadn't been such a good idea after all. From what she had gleaned, this one Taco Bell town was, in some very whack way, crazier than the Dale. It was where stereotypes came to life and then sang and danced their way to the asylum.

No shit, how the fuck did people live here? She would've bailed the moment she learned to stick out her thumb.

Her newly-minted Pops seemed cool enough. She'd just dumped a pile of shit in his lap and he had dealt with it right then and there, giving her a hug and telling her how sorry he was and that if he had only known and whatever.

And, okay, that was a load off her mind. He hadn't known. He hadn't abandoned her. Would've been there for her if her fuckwit maternal unit had bothered to let her fingers do the walking.

The stepmother was pretty chill considering she and Pops had only been married a handful of months. Carole had just shrugged, hugged her, and welcomed her to the family. That was it. No sobbing or crying or jealousy or whatnot, just a woman who loved her husband and their kids.

Carole Hudson-Hummel very much reminded Faith of the late, great Joyce Summers.

The stepbrother could be the poster boy for Massengill except that, every time Faith looked him, she got that not-so-fresh feeling. Seriously, if the Douchey Dumb Giant didn't stop staring at her tits, she was going to rip off his balls like earrings and give them to Spike to play marbles.

The only redeeming quality Massengill had was his sincere devotion to his brother.

That was something Faith had cottoned onto real quick. Finn and Kurt regarded each other as true brothers, not technical relations. She didn't really understand it, how brothers could be so touchy-feely and lovey-dovey and completely nauseating without fucking.

She was also pretty sure that if they were fucking, Finn would be the one taking it in the ass. If Kurt could pull Finn's head from it first.

Kurt.

Kurt was the kicker, and not just for the football team.

Kurt was her brother. Her real, biological fraternal type person. Her baby brother.

Faith took that shit seriously. The moment she had laid eyes on China Doll, she totes understood why Buffy had jumped from that platform for Dawn. It was that instantaneous.

She felt like she had known Kurt her whole life, which wasn't saying much since they just met and he had only asked one question of her.

She liked his moxie. She liked how completely unafraid he was of her, of their father, of the assholes in this town, and of life in general. Kurt was like a gay version of Xander with a backbone.

Well, gayer.

Faith was the only one unsurprised when the Pirate King had pulled up stakes (heh), moved to LA, and started boning the First Souled One. That it had made Buffy shit bricks was just gravy.

She shook her head to clear it when she realized that Kurt was actually expecting an answer. She mentally prepared to launch into her spiel about how she had found them and that she didn't want anything from them except to know them and she could always go back to Cleveland, no hard feelings.

Kurt raised a brow - and, damn, she envied that ability - and began stalking toward the front door.

"Follow me."

Oh, so it was going to be like that.

Okay, fair enough. She had just waltzed into this kid's life and totally upended it with absolutely no warning. If he wanted to boss her around and talk with her privately, she could respect that for the moment.

She raced after him, inadvertently slamming the door behind her with a little too much force.

She'd pay for the damages later.

This was so fucking weird!

She was trailing after him as he stalked down his sidewalk like it was a fucking runway in Paris.

Her brother's ass was totally amazing. Like, seriously stellar ass was happening here.

She suddenly wasn't that surprised that Finn couldn't stop touching Kurt. No one was that straight.

He disappeared from sight as he turned the corner and she chased after him.

She turned the same corner and saw him, along with two chicks matching him stride for stride and sashay for sashay. Both were wearing cheerleader uniforms and Faith briefly wished Queen C was along for this ride, because that shit would have been epic.

"This is Brittany and Santana," he stated with no fanfare. "Girls, this is my sister, Faith."

Brittany turned and smiled over her shoulder while Santana turned and glared.

Faith took a moment to appreciate that she was a Slayer because otherwise this bitch would have Medusaed her ass.

Neither girl acknowledged her in any other way, which was fine with her.

They walked two more blocks, Faith still lagging behind, curious as to what was going on, when the three before her were joined by another friend, this one male and with a serious case of attitude and mohawk.

"My best friend, Noah," Kurt explained. "My sister, Faith."

The other guy turned and bobbed his head at her. "Call me Puck. Only the Duchess can use my real name."

Faith stared.

They kept walking.

"Noah," Kurt purred in a tone that was far too casual, "if you keep glancing back to ogle my sister's chest, I'm going to remove your kidneys with a rusty spork and feed them to Mrs. Feeney's cats."

Puck swallowed nervously.

Faith swooned.

Five turns and a quarter of a mile later, another was added to their party. He had the body of Apollo and the hair of Moondoggy.

"Sam, my boyfriend," Kurt said.

Aw, yeah.

Her brother had sweet taste. She imagined the two of them had some pretty wild sex that ended with adorable cuddling and declarations of undying love. If she was into shit like that, she might have felt moved. Instead, she mourned that, as pervy as was, she couldn't bring herself to spy on their intercourse as she wanted.

Still, she liked that this Sam kid looked at Kurt like a lost puppy who had finally found his master.

She watched as Brittany pulled away from Kurt with sadness so that Sam could take her place. Brittany then scooted over to Santana's other side and their pinkies linked. Puck rested a forearm on Sam's shoulder.

Kurt's hand slightly reached out and was immediately engulfed in Sam's larger one, their fingers tightly intertwining, palms pressed together like hearts.

Faith just shook her head.

What kind of Breakfast Club bullshit was this?

A very bad feeling began coursing through Faith's veins as she followed the kids as they crossed into a cemetery.

Lima didn't appear to be Demon Central, but Cleveland wasn't that far away and she had gone through too much to lose her little brother now.

Time for a debriefing.

"Kurt," she called out, jogging toward him, "there's something you need to know."

She was interrupted when Kurt launched into a series of handsprings and flips before vaulting himself into the air, gently landing on one foot atop a statue, and dusting the vampire that was already reaching out for him.

Two poofs and two clouds of falling dust later, she noted that Brittany and Santana, stakes in hand, had dispatched two more.

"I'm a Vampire Slayer," Faith said dumbly.

For the first time, her brother smiled at her.

"Join the club, sis."