Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Star Wars.
This story is quite, er, unique. It is told from the points of view of Jacen and Jaina (alternating chapters) when they are six years old. So it's got strange grammar. Just pretend I tape recorded them saying all of this and then transcribed it perfectly. It's supposed to be funny. Please R&R!
Me and Jacen are twins, which are people that are the same years old. But I am born five standard minutes before Jacen, so I'm older, but just a little. Jacen is a boy and I am a girl and I have longer hair than him. But my eyes and hair are brown and his match just the same. He has two names, Jacen and Solo. I have two too—Jaina and Solo. But I only get called Jaina, unless I am in big trouble. Our family lives on a planet called Coruscant and it is busy and has lots of important people that you have to behave good to.
We have a Mommy and a Daddy and a Chewie, who's a wookiee, and a baby brother who's name is Anakin. When I'm mad, I call him rotten and dumb and stupid. We also have an uncle who's Uncle Luke, and he's a Jedi.
Jedi is people who can use the Force. The Force is a thing that helps Jedi people have powers like moving things without using hands, paws, tentacles, or whatever. Uncle Luke says me and Jacen and Anakin and Mommy can be Jedi someday. But first us kids have to grow up more.
The biggest rule about Jedis is no touching Uncle Luke's lightsaber. Sometimes me and Jacen forget and someone has to remind us. Then we get in trouble. Grown ups do not very much like to do reminding.
But lightsabers are very special. They are pretty and can fight and cut things up. Once I cut up my bed with Uncle Luke's. Then I got reminded of the biggest rule of Jedis. No touching Uncle Luke's lightsaber. It is a green lightsaber and Uncle Luke says that he made it all by himself with no help from droids or factories. That is why it is very special.
Uncle Luke lives on Yavin 4, which is very much far away from Coruscant. He teaches special people how to be Jedi and use Forces. He lives in a big huge triangle shaped house that he says is a temple. Lots of other people live in the house too, and they learn how to lift things without using hands or stuff like hands.
I like to visit Uncle Luke because he lives in a cool place. He says someday me and Jacen can go live with him there and learn how to act like Jedis. But we're still too little because we're only six standard years old. He says maybe when we are twelve years old or thirteen years old.
But instead of having Uncle Luke as my teacher, I have to have Mr. Threepio. Mr. Threepio's other names are Threepio, See-Threepio, Goldenrod, and Golden Boy. But I am only allowed to call him Mr. Threepio. Mr. Threepio is very boring and he likes to teach about stupid stuff. Jacen and I like to stick our tongues out at him when his face is not looking at us. Mommy says that is not nice and we should behave. Behave is not making trouble and being good to everyone no matter how mean or boring or stupid they are. Sometimes behaving is not easy and sometimes it is.
One fun thing to do is to take things apart to see how they work. Here are the things you are not allowed to take apart to see how they work: Mr. Threepio, Anakin, lightsabers, books, and the Falcon, which is Daddy's ship. Sometimes I forget and try to take one of those things apart. That is not behaving well. Jacen does not like taking things apart. He likes animals. I don't that much. You are not allowed to take them apart either. Just like Anakin, they don't come apart too easy.
This morning I waked up and jumped on Jacen's bed till he waked up too. Then we raced to the kitchen room and ate breakfast, which was made by a machine where you push a button and food spits out very fast. Sometimes I get too excited and push the button too many times and make too much food come out. Then I have to take it back to a special room where cooking people are and say, "I'm very, very much sorry for making too much food come out." The people that makes the food always laughs and says that I am very cute. I don't want to be cute, I want to be Jaina. They make me very crossed.
Today, I only pushed the button once, and then once more because Jacen was very nice and said I could push it for him. We ate our breakfasts, which were not very tasty because the people in the kitchen are not very good cooks. But that's okay because Mommy says there are starving people everywhere out in the galaxy. Then Anakin came in and said I could push the button for him, which he only said because he can't reach it and no big people were there to pick him up.
After breakfast, Mommy and Daddy came down and Daddy was very cranky at us.
"Do you know that it is very early in the morning? It is still dark outside!"
"Han, it's okay," Mommy said to him. Han is my Daddy's name, but I am not allowed to call him that. Mommy's name is Leia, but I like 'Mommy' better.
"Where's Chewie?" Daddy asked. Me and Jacen did a shrug. A shrug is making your shoulders bounce up and down, but only once.
Daddy stopped being cranky when he forgot what time it is. I didn't remind him because reminding is for grown ups to do. "Guess what?" he asked us happy.
"What?" Me and Jacen asked. Anakin wasn't listening because he's four and forgets to listen a lot.
Mommy did a smile. "We're going to Yavin 4!"
"Yay!" Jacen cheered. But I was feeling curious, which is wondering something that makes a question.
"Can I make the Falcon ready?" I asked Daddy, curious.
He did a frown. Last time I helped with the Falcon, I breaked the hyperdrive and that made Daddy and Chewie very angryish. "I guess you can, Jaina. But no doing anything I don't tell you to do!"
I made my head go up and down in a nod, which is what you do when you promise to do something or agree. "I will behave," I promised happy.
Daddy gave me a weird look, which means he doesn't know if I promised carefully or not. I think I had, but you never know.
So after Daddy ate some of the not tasty food from the cooking people that think I'm cute, he took me to where the Falcon lives. Chewie was already there. He is very tall like me standing on Jacen's head and Anakin standing on my head, but taller even. He is a Wookiee so he is tall and big and strong and hairy. He can carry all of us kids and more still. That is a lot. Daddy started yelling at Chewie because the Falcon was broked. The Falcon was always broked. Chewie yelled back which sounded like growling and grring.
I wandered over to see the hatchway, which is like a door but called a hatchway to make things confusing. I went inside even though I'm not supposed to without Daddy with me. There was a lever next to the hatchway. A lever is like the button on the food machine, only funner. So I pushed it up and down and up and down, very fast. The hatchway started to close, then open, then close, then open. I made the lever go so fast the hatchway got confused and stopped halfway closed and the lever bent the wrong way.
Uh oh! I heard Daddy yelling, but not at Chewie anymore. At me instead. I started to thinking that playing with the hatchway is not behaving or keeping good promises. I looked out of the hatchway and Chewie had to lift Daddy up so he could climb onto the hatchway. Daddy came over to me, looking angryish.
"I'm very, very sorry, Daddy," I said, sad. "I didn't mean to not behave."
"Jaina Solo, that was very naughty!" he yelled at me even though I was standing right next to him. I could tell he was mad because he used both of my names. Jaina and Solo. "You promised you wouldn't misbehave!"
"Don't yell," I asked nicely, even though I wanted to cry.
"I'll yell if I want!" He didn't stop yelling. And when Daddy starts yelling, he doesn't usually stop for a long, long time.
Please R&R! Jacen's got his chapter coming up next, and if you want to read it, I need reviews. Please?