He sat reading the newspaper. "Tea?" He asked looking up pleasantly to meet my gaze. I shrugged. He took that a yes and stood up to make me a cup. His phone beeped. He came from the kitchen to check the text. He smiled spread on his face. "It's Sarah. She wants to spend the night together." He said still looking at his phone's screen. He walked back to the kitchen, still smiling. He began humming. I didn't recognize the song. He would be with her. He would be happy. He would be happy with her. That hurt. "Sherlock?" He was in front of me, looking perplexed. "Yes John?" I responded quickly. "Will you be alright? Tonight I mean. Because I won't be here…" He said. Typical. Like I needed to be reminded. I knew exactly when John was not around. Mainly because I despised those moments. I needed John. So badly. I don't think he understands how important he is in my life. How much he matters to me. "I'll be fine John" I said in what must have been a reassuring manner. "You should go out you know?"He said looking at me. "I do go out." I retorted.

"I didn't mean for cases. For dates. You should go… With Molly maybe." He said settling down on the couch in front of mine.

"Dull." Anything was dull without him. When would John get that? I picked up the tea had had placed in front of me.

"Whatever you say Sherlock." He sighed. He rose. "I'm going to get going then. I want to get Sarah a gift, surprise her, so I'll leave now."

I didn't respond, because I didn't know how. Was I supposed to stop him? No, he looked excited. He wanted to go, to be with Sarah. I heard the door close. John had left. I wasn't surprised. Everybody left. But no one leaving had hurt as much as him. And yet ironically he was the one coming back. Yet somehow, it hurt even more when he came back, just because I knew, he would never truly stay. Not forever. Not how I wanted.