Pairing : Kakashi x Fem!Naruto

Summary :

Naruto found sanctuary in the presence of ill repute women. Kakashi found salvation in the presence of an ill repute young woman. In the least expected place, two damaged souls meet for a future neither expected.

Warnings : None in this chapter.

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto or any of the characters.

Author's Note :

Hey guys! I actually started this story over a year ago and have been editing it every time the mood hits me. I was tempted to write a really really long one shot but decided to break this story down to either two or three chapters. A word of caution: This is purely a romance story. I want to explore the relationship between Naruto and Kakashi in this piece. So while I might add a mission or two, I won't spend so much time or any time on Akatsuki or Orochimaru. Also, the story only touches on the Naruto timeline to show the passing of time. There are some elements of the story that was inspired by 'Naruto's Secret' by Cerebella Kennor. That was also a well written story and I enjoyed reading it.

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It has been so long since I have written and I am afraid that I have become somewhat rusty. Do forgive my grammatical and spelling errors. I also hope the story is promising enough for me to continue. Feel free to review and tell me what you guys think about this.

Have fun reading!

Destiny's Game

Bring Out the Players

The red light district was as busy as usual. Brothels were wide open and the best girls stood by the door, enticing customers to come in. Bars and tea houses were brightly lit. Men of all stations in life could be seen walking in and out of the establishments. Skimpily dressed women could be seen offering their services at darker corners.

In one particular brothel, a golden haired sixteen year old girl was dressed in dark clothes and washing the dishes at the back. Her sapphire gems took no notice of the women rushing around the brothel getting dressed and prepping up before heading to the main hall to entertain customers. The blossoming woman kept cleaning up the dirty dishes and once satisfied, she rose to put them away.

Despite her enticing figure, the young woman was not one of the girls in the brothel. Despite her looks, she was not sixteen either. Despite her appearance, she was not what she seemed like.

Indeed the young woman was known to the public as eleven year old Uzumaki Naruto, a short spiky blonde haired, blue eyed, orange-loving, boisterous boy. In private, Uzumaki Naruto was truly an eleven year old girl who loved orange but not in excess, enjoyed reading especially historical texts, loved training despite the blatant sabotage of her education and enjoyed cooking despite rarely being able to purchase edible groceries. To the women at the brothel, she was sixteen year old Ruka, their helper. They knew who she truly was but as all of them knew how hard life was for the young girl and they took her into their protection.

Due to her ability to cook and clean, Naruto, managed to offer her services to the Mother of the brothel. The woman in charge, Kaede-san, was a 40-year-old woman, whose beauty has yet diminished. She still held the beauty of her youth and it could be seen from the way she conducted herself that Kaede-san was a woman of elegance. Despite running a brothel, Kaede trained her girls to be the epitome of beauty, grace and elegance. She took a liking to the waif-like child who had at one point of her life, hidden behind the trash to escape from the mob after her. Kaede had taken Naruto in, cleaned her up and gave her a job. She could already see the desire for death in the eyes of the four-year-old child and her heart broke at the stolen childhood.

Oh, she definitely knew whose child Naruto was. Once or twice, she had seen Namikaze Minato hesitantly following his shinobi comrades into her brothel. The man had never requested for a girl to entertain him and always left before it was too late at night. On one of his visits, Kaede was asked to serve Minato-sama as a gift from his friends. He had smiled softly and requested her to serve tea. He had then chatted with her, asking her about her life and told her a few funny anecdotes of his own adventures.

The romantic child in Kaede's heart had a massive crush on the man, just like every other woman in the village. Namikaze Minato was a man who was going somewhere. He was polite, funny, cheerful and respectful. Despite her profession, he had never once treated her like she was beneath him. In the deepest part of her heart, she entertained the notion of him taking her away from this life. All in one meeting.

But even she knew that was a pipe dream. Behind Minato-sama, one woman stood true. Uzumaki Kushina. And no matter how beautiful or well-mannered Kaede was, even she could see why Minato-sama was attracted to the Whirlpool refuge. Kushina-san was gorgeous, with her fiery red hair, and passionate. She too took no notice of the women in brothels and always treated them to a smile or a grin.

Together, they made a beautiful couple and together they made a beautiful child.

It mattered not to Kaede that Naruto held the Kyuubi no Yoko. If Minato-sama and Kushina-san had sacrifice their lives to seal the demon in Naruto, Kaede trusted the demon to be tightly held behind bars. It was a pity no one else shared her sentiments. Naruto was the best of both her parents and because of the village's foolishness, she was forced to wear more than one mask to protect herself.

Kaede had kept an eye on Naruto since she was four and for the past seven years, she had tutored the child in art of being a woman. Naruto could walk and talk as well as a well-breed woman. She knew how to hold herself like a daughter of a clan. She had tutored Naruto in calligraphy, painting, flower arrangements, singing, dancing, history, politics and accounting. Naruto had taken the lessons like duck to water and the child had flourished under Kaede's eyes. Kaede hoped that this would be enough. As long as the child had a safe haven and people who cared, Naruto would not look like she was inviting death to take her.

Naruto too was smart. Before, she would sneak in and hide away from suspicious eyes. Ever since she learned the Henge no Jutsu, Naruto had transformed into an older woman and came to the brothel. When Kaede saw Naruto's henge the first time, she had given her the name 'Ruka', which meant blue flower after Naruto's eyes.

It was a busy day at the brothel. A team of high ranking shinobi had returned to Konoha and decided to visit the red light district to relax. Kaede's brothel was one of the shinobi's favorite places as it looked very well kept and the girls were beautiful and well trained in both mind and body. Kaede knew that some customers, such as the late Yondaime Hokage, preferred intellectual company instead of a warm body and as such prepared her girls to ensure that they could debate well with others.

Today though, with the unexpected company of the eight shinobi, Kaede was worried that she did not have enough girls to entertain the men and they would become harder to control. And true enough, she could hear displeasure at the lack of service by some of them.

She slipped to the back, hoping that some of the girls had gone there to rest but saw none. The only other person was Naruto and the thought of sending her young charge out there chilled her to the bones.

So she returned to the main hall and greeted the latest costumers who were served by five of her girls.

"Greetings, sirs. I hope everything is to your satisfaction," Kaede bowed low as she watched the shinobi closely.

A stocky man blew out his cigarette and nodded. "We are fine, Kaede-san. Though if you can find someone for the social moron there it would be much appreciated."

Kaede looked up to take in the tall lanky form of a very well known figure. "Hatake-san, my apologies for not having someone serve you."

Hatake Kakashi, a 24 year old well known jounin simply eye-smiled. "It is fine, Kaede-san. I am not looking for a companion to spend the night with."

The boos and curses from the rest of his party was very telling. One of the jounin, who wore a bandanna grinned. "Even if you do not want to sleep with anyone, Kakashi, at least spend some time with a girl. As far as any of us know, you barely indulge the opposite sex. Don't listen to him, Kaede-san. If you have a girl who is willing to even discuss the weather with him, we will be willing to pay."

"Yeah. This moron would probably say no to everything. His laziness is only matched by the Nara men."

Laughter rang out while the jounin simply took out a well read orange book and placed it before his face.

"Do whatever you want," he muttered as he focused on his favorite literature.

Kaede saw the oldest member of the group, a jounin whose name she did not know discretely nod towards Kakashi and nodded back. She understood that the lot wanted someone to keep Kakashi company tonight.

The only woman she could bring out was Naruto.

Kaede considered her options for a while and nodded thoughtfully. As long as it was simply for a conversation, she was sure Naruto would be fine with Kakashi.

"I do have a girl behind. However, she is in no position to entertain you throughout the night. However, if it was just for a couple of hours of conversation, I am sure she will suit your needs," Kaede informed the jounin.

Kakashi frowned mentally. He wanted to refuse her offer but knew that the men would not let him. As long as the girl kept to herself and did not annoy him, he was sure he would be fine.

"Very well. I would like her to serve tea and hold a conversation with me."

"It would take some time to get her ready. I hope you do not mind the wait, kind sir?"

Kakashi shook his head in relief. "No, that's fine."

Kaede nodded, bowed and left. She walked over to the back and wondered how she was going to persuade Naruto to serve as a girl that night. She saw Naruto resting by the side after cleaning up and smiled sadly. With a sigh, she approached the girl.

"Ruka-chan?"

Naruto's Ruka form looked up to Kaede and smiled invitingly. "Mother."

"Ruka-chan, I have a favor to ask of you."

Ruka nodded encouragingly. "We are short of girls tonight, Ruka and one of our customers need a conversation partner. Would you mind entertaining him?"

Ruka frowned worriedly. "Would I need to sleep with him, Mother?"

Kaede shook her head. "I would not do that to you child. No, you just need to hold a conversation with him. The shinobi is a well known jounin by the name of Hatake Kakashi. He is not hard to miss as he is the only one with his face covered and his hitai-ate slanted to cover his left eye. He rarely sleeps with our girls and prefer to simply indulge in a round of drinking with a conversation companion before he leaves for the night. It looks like tonight his friends are insisting on a girl whether he wants one or not. So in terms of sleeping with him, it is not necessary."

Ruka nodded. "Very well, Mother. As long as I do not need to sleep with him, I am willing to entertain him tonight. I could definitely use the money. The darn landlord overcharged me once more."

The older woman sighed sadly and nodded her head. Both of them stood up and headed over to one of the rooms so that Ruka could change into something more suitable.

As this was not a tea house, the girls were dressed more casually. As such, Ruka slipped into a yukata made of a gorgeous combination of dark and light blue with red obi. Kaede helped to do her hair, which was held in a messy bun. They put some make-up on her face and dabbed some scented oil before Ruka slipped a fan and a knife into her sleeves.

Kaede smiled when she saw the final product and thought Kakashi would be a fool to reject Ruka's presence. The young woman was truly gorgeous. Her natural beauty was highlighted with such simple touch ups. She nodded to Ruka and together they made their way back to the main hall and to the large group.

Kakashi had expected quite a number of things when Kaede mentioned a girl not in service that night. None of his thoughts came close to the vision who followed Kaede to his side. He was aware of his friends staring at the young woman in surprise and was pleased to note their slight jealousy.

"Please forgive my tardiness," she murmured softly as she bowed low before him.

She was very young, perhaps only fifteen or sixteen years old. She was probably new and also not broken in, which explained Kaede's decision of keeping her in. She was also very beautiful. Her golden locks which escaped her artfully messy bun curled around her face enticingly. She had a small nose and full lips. Her eyes were a deep enchanting cerulean blue. From her yukata, he could see that she had a generous figure for her age.

Physically, she was beyond pleasing. Intellectually, he hoped she would not put him to sleep.

He nodded at her and ushered her away from his leering friends, all who had their hands at very intimate places of the companions.

They sat apart at a corner and she quietly asked for his tea of choice and offered to bring some sake. Kakashi refused the offer for sake and asked for some green tea instead. He did not wish to get drunk as he had an early morning meeting with the Sandaime tomorrow.

"May I know your name," Kakashi finally asked as he glanced at her from his book.

She smiled softly and nodded. "I am Ruka. It's a pleasure to meet you, kind sir. May I know how to address you?"

"You may call me Hatake-san for now."

"Hatake-san, interesting literature you have there," Ruka commented with a smile as she nodded her head at the orange book.

Kakashi raised a single eyebrow. "Yes. It is one of my favorites."

"I prefer history myself. It is always fascinating to read about the triumphs and folly of our past."

"Oh? Do you follow the history of Konohagakure alone?" he asked, just a touch interested as he realized the young woman barely flirted with him. It seems she was serious about having purely a conversation with him.

"No. I usually follow any historical material I can get about the elemental continents. They are a fascinating read. My passion is centered around our third shinobi war. As the latest war, it has the biggest impact on the continent."

Now, Kakashi was openly interested. As one of the shinobi who fought beside the fourth hokage in the war, he wondered what a civilian would think of it. "Why do you find it fascinating?"

Ruka smirked inwardly at his interest but kept a small smile on her lips. "Well, for one, unlike the first two wars, the third was has managed to give us 14 years of respite. The efforts of our Yondaime had frightened other nations to staying away from us. Despite how bloody it was over all, we had more shinobi coming home than other nations. That in itself showed others not to mess with Konoha. True, every major village brags about the quality of their shinobi but from history, you have to admit, even the best missing nin come from Konoha. Though what that tells us about our village is debatable."

Kakashi grinned beneath his mask. The woman was truly interesting. She was not afraid to share her opinion despite how others might take offence in it. She was also very perceptive. He wondered how many connected the worst missing nins to Konoha. The latest was Uchiha Itachi, after all. A prodigy of the Uchiha clan, he had slaughtered his family and tortured his brother to near comatose state and fled the village. He was a prime example of Konoha's finest.

"What are your thoughts on the White Fang's treasonous action that caused the village quite a number of lives?"

Kakashi had no idea why he decided to ask about his father. He doubted the young woman would know that the White Fang was Hatake Sakumo so he felt relatively safe mentioning him. Still, he wondered why he opened himself to heartbreak by bringing up his father and his supposed betrayal to Konoha.

Ruka frowned. "History taught us that the White Fang abandoned the mission in order to save his comrades eventually leading to the deaths of a number of people, both shinobi and civilians. Personally, I find this to be highly suspect."

"Oh?" Kakashi asked nonchalantly.

This time, Ruka smirked. "I am no shinobi, Hatake-san. However, the one thing I know about Konoha is that we emphasize on teamwork. Every team put together was trained from young to watch each other's backs. To me, the White Fang should have been considered a hero. Despite abandoning his mission, he managed to bring back his team alive. In reality, with better intel, he should have been sent back with better backup to complete the mission or at least come as close to completing the mission. If what I have heard and read is right, the White Fang was practically made a sacrifice to the village just so that they could take their frustrations out on someone. He held on to the values that made Konoha strong and he was crucified for it. It was such a shame and even for his own team to turn their backs to him at his time of need shows that they did not understand the true meaning of being a Konoha nin."

Ruka stopped and blushed, realizing how much she had spoken. "Forgive me. I had not meant to go on like that. I just found the death of the White Fang to be sad and wasteful."

Kakashi was stunned. Ruka's thoughts on his father showed him how passionate she was. She was right as well, things could have gone differently. Yet everyone was looking for a scapegoat and that person happened to be his father. The silver haired nin smiled depreciatively. Even he had essentially abandoned his father during those days.

Seeing his closed off look, Ruka panicked. "Hatake-san, I am so sorry. I have no idea what I said to offend you. I do know that the White Fang is an open wound to Konoha nins. Forgive me for my forwardness."

Kakashi shook his head. "Iie. It is not your fault. I actually appreciate your thoughts and wished many more were like you. I was just thinking about the past."

Hesitantly, Ruka offered her own opinion. "It is fine to think of the past and to learn from it, Hatake-san. However, it is not wise to dwell on it. The past remains in the past. It is the present that will mould the future."

Kakashi laughed easily at that. "Maa, maa…perhaps. You are very good company, Ruka-san."

"Thank you, Hatake-san."

Kakashi drank his last cup of tea and rose. "I should be going now, Ruka-san. Thank you for your company, Ruka-san."

Ruka bowed low. "The pleasure is mine, Hatake-san."

"Goodnight," he wished easily and walked over to tell his friends that he was leaving.

Once Ruka was sure he was preoccupied with his friends, she slipped away from the main hall, unwilling to be there with the growingly rowdy crowd. In her sleeve was a pouch of coins left for us discretely by Hatake Kakashi.

Ruka grinned. The man was a good tipper. She would not mind picking his head if they ever meet again.

XXX

Kakashi had no idea why he felt like visiting the brothel once more. For the past two weeks, he was assaulted by images of messy blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes. Somehow, the last time he had been here, she had managed to sooth his heart with her talk. It was odd. They had spoken of nothing but war and yet he had felt at home with her.

Wasn't it ironic that the only woman to date to make him feel alive was from the red light district?

However, Kakashi could not get her out his head. His latest mission had been an assassination of a family and he could still see the terrified eyes of the three year old boy before he had snapped his neck. He had not been able to sleep or eat properly as usual with these kinds of missions. He needed a distraction and that distraction was in the form of Ruka.

He was greeted cheerfully by the girl at the front door and was ushered inside. It did not seem to be a busy day this time and the girl had asked him if he would like the company of a specific girl or any random one. Kakashi requested Ruka and saw the girl's eyes widen in alarm.

"I apologize kind sir but Ruka-san is not one of our girls. If you would like I can show you the others."

Kakashi frowned at that. "When I was here the last time, Ruka-san took care of me. I would like to ask for her once more."

Biting her lips uncertainly, she eyed the shinobi anxiously.

"Perhaps, I can get Mother. She might be able to help?"

Kakashi nodded and agreed to wait. Ruka was not one of the girls? He was sure that Ruka was the name of the girl who kept him company the other night. Why would this one claim she was not one of the girls? Is it because she had not completed her training? Or did something happened to the blue eyed woman?

"Hatake-san?"

Kakashi nodded to the woman. "Kaede-san. There seems to be a misunderstanding."

Kaede frowned. "Would you follow me this way? We can talk in private."

Kakashi nodded and wondered how troublesome the whole ordeal was. If he had not felt like talking to Ruka, he would have left long ago.

They sat facing each other and Kaede sighed internally.

"I heard you have been asking for Ruka-chan?"

Kakashi nodded. "Yes. She was a very good conversationalist. I would like to talk to her once more."

Kaede's eyebrows rose. "Just talk?"

The copy nin nodded. "Yes. I am not looking for bed mate at this moment, Kaede-san. Just a companion who is not afraid to let her thoughts known just because of who I am."

"To be truthful, Hatake-san, Ruka-chan is not one of my girls. She helped out the other day but she does not service the men here. If it is only for conversations, I can ask her if she is willing to entertain you. However, that decision will lie with her."

Kakashi nodded. "I understand. I will also be willing to pay extra for her services."

Kaede nodded. "Sayuri will lead you to your seat and if she agrees, I will lead Ruka-chan to you. However, you need to give me some time to get her ready."

Kakashi nodded once more. "I agree. Thank you for accommodating me."

Kaede bowed. "Thank you for understanding."

As Kaede left to find Ruka, she wondered how on earth the golden haired child had won another person to her side just by being herself.

Ruka was shocked. She had not expected to be called out again to service Hatake Kakashi. She had not expected to even see the man again. He was lucky he had come today instead of the past two days since she was busy being Naruto and keeping up her masks. However, Kakashi intrigued her and Ruka agreed to meet him once more.

"Hatake-san," she greeted him softly as she bowed before the shinobi in a white and pink yukata. It was a sweet piece, which made her look far more innocently alluring. Kakashi swallowed sharply.

"Ruka-san. It's a pleasure to see you again."

Her laughter tinkled in the air. "The pleasure is mine, Hatake-san. I was surprised to hear you ask for me again."

"Oh?"

This time, Ruka simply raised her eyebrows playfully before moving to serve his tea instead of answering his unasked question. They drank their tea in silence as Ruka studied the man before her.

Growing up in the red light district taught Ruka many lessons and one of them was the art of reading people. Naruto had used this gift to know who to avoid while Ruka had used it to keep her safe from the men around the district.

Studying Kakashi now, Ruka knew he was troubled and she also knew he was probably extremely stubborn and as such never saw anyone about his problem.

She hoped she would not be jinxing herself for poking at his problems.

"You seemed troubled, Hatake-san. Was it a tough mission?"

He blinked at the question before his eyes went painfully blank. Ruka almost winced but managed to control herself.

"I'm afraid I can't discuss mission specifics with civilians, Ruka-san."

Ruka hmmed. "I'm not asking for mission specifics, Hatake-san. I'm asking about your well-being. Forgive me if I seem very forward but you look as though you had not slept at all."

Kakashi was tempted to tell her to shut up but refrained. He wondered how far she would go to find out his problem. So he remained silent. Ruka huffed.

"Why do you think the Hokages on the monument look constipated?" Ruka asked, carefully timing her question when he took a sip of his tea.

Kakashi almost choked at the question and turned a disbelieving eye at the daring chit. Laughing blue eyes met his own and he found himself smiling at her audacity.

"Some would say they look distinguished."

"I would ask if they were blind."

"They look serious just as their position demands."

"They look like the position is a burden."

"No one said the position of a hokage is burden-free."

"I agree. I just thought if someone was going to immortalize my face on a mountain for everyone else to see, I would make sure I look pleasant enough."

Kakashi opened his mouth to reply and closed it without saying a word. He chuckled instead.

"You are incorrigible."

"Why, thank you, kind sir," Ruka replied with a laugh. They remained silent for awhile. This time it was more relaxed and Ruka said nothing to break it.

"Have you read the Icha Icha series?" he asked after awhile wondering what her reaction would be like.

"Are you asking me because I am a woman or because I am from here?" Ruka asked back, curious of his answer.

Kakashi said nothing for awhile before replying carefully. "Both?"

Ruka was not impressed by his hesitancy. "Really smooth, Hatake-san. Well, I have read the books."

He blinked. "Really?"

She gave him a rather unimpressed look. Kakashi laughed out loud. This woman was truly one of a kind. What on earth was she doing in this place? She would have flourished wonderfully outside this place.

"So what do you think of it?"

Ruka thought back to the days she read the book. She had actually approached some of the girls and asked them how true the contents of the book were. They had laughed and told her that while some of the contents were doable, not all were practical and some really needed nin skills to pull it off.

"It's not reality."

Kakashi nodded at the answer and the words flew out of his mouth before he could sensor them. "Sometimes fantasy is better than reality."

"Maybe," Ruka answered carefully, weighing her own experiences. "However, reality is also what we make out of it. Sometimes everything seems hopeless and all you want to do is to disappear into a hole somewhere and come out when it's all over. I just don't think I can stomach doing that."

"Why not?"

He wondered what she would say. His own experiences in life flashed painfully one after another. The deaths of his mother, father, Obito, Rin, Sensei and so many teammates and comrades. The pain of betrayal. The sound of mocking and jeering. The pain of needing to prove himself. The coppery scent of blood. The fear in a child's eyes.

"Because I want to be able to control my own reality. If I hide, others make the decisions for me. And those decisions might not be the best, you know."

"A shinobi's life…is full of death and pain and suffering. A shinobi has a higher chance to be tortured, raped and murdered. A shinobi has a higher probability to end up doing missions that would be condemned by civilians. When all of these happen, how could one not desire the chance to hide?"

The blonde haired woman took her time pouring out two cups of tea and refilling the snacks before she even thought to answer.

"It's true that a shinobi has life hard but no one has it easy. We are all forced to face Shinigami-sama at some point. For a shinobi, isn't death at a battlefield a worthy death for a warrior? While it is true it would be better to come home, isn't dying with the knowledge that you have done your best, satisfactory? In a way, you are still keeping your precious people safe. It is also true that shinobi end up with the most undesirable jobs but whether they accept a mission after knowing the parameters is their own choice, is it not? Even if it is not, hiding isn't going to solve anything. Offering a prayer for the life taken or helping out those less fortunate as a penance, wouldn't that be more of a balm to the soul. I am not a shinobi. I am unable to even comprehend the psychological impact on a shinobi's psyche. However, when I am down, I always find doing something with nature soothing. So I garden. Reading your book is not going to completely make it all go away. However much reality hurts, fantasy can never replace it."

Kakashi sighed tiredly. He found himself smiling beneath the mask. He was right to come here after all. Going to a shinobi mind healer has not helped in the least but simply talking to his little flower had relaxed him far more than he had ever expected.

"You have a unique way of looking at things."

"Life as you can see has not exactly been kind to me either. I found a home here but the outside world can still be scary."

They fell into a contemplative silence then before Kakashi tentatively spoke up.

"Ruka-san, if I may ask a favor?"

Curious cerulean orbs looked into his eye. "If it is within my power."

"Would you please spend the night with me?"

Kakashi had never seen anyone lose blood so fast before. The blonde looked extremely uncomfortable and frightened so he rushed to comfort her.

"Not in the sexual sense, Ruka-san. I understand that you do not entertain clients in your room. You just…soothe me. I have no idea why. All I ask is for you to lie beside me for a few hours as I try to get some sleep. I give you my word of honor that I will not lay a hand on you in a threatening manner."

To others it might seem weird that Kakashi was asking Ruka to sleep with him as a favor rather than simply paying her. However, the jounin realized that there was a very good possibility that Ruka was considered untouchable. He did not want to ruin that. Besides, Ruka made a wonderful companion and Kakashi did not want to destroy their easy going relationship. There was more to life than sex after all. The one thing Kakashi craved the most was companionship and he had not been able to find that until now.

Ruka bit her lips uncertainly. While she would love to help Kakashi, she was also very much aware that he was 13 years older than her with shinobi training to boot. If he so desires, in the room, he could overpower her easily. However, his tired and pained gaze tugged at her heartstrings and Ruka knew she was going to regret this someday.

"You will have to ask Mother. As long as you promise me that I do not need to…service you, I am willing to be your pillow for the night, Hatake-san."

His eye light up slightly and he nodded before rising. She led him to Kaede's office before asking him to wait as she informed Kaede of the situation.

Kaede could only groan internally at this development. She could already see that Kakashi was becoming infatuated with the young woman but therein lies the problem. Ruka was Naruto, an eleven year old, innocent, misjudged child. Sending her to sleep with a customer of Kakashi's caliber was like sending a rabbit to a tiger and hoping it would come out alive the next day.

"You have to understand, Hatake-san, Ruka is not for taking. You cannot lie with her."

Kakashi nodded. "I know and I understand your concern. However, I give you my word. I will not sleep with her. I just need to have her sleeping by me."

Kaede nodded reluctantly, charged for the bed and company and told Ruka to take him to the only empty room of the night, which happened to be the only one separated from the others. It was also tastefully decorated with nothing gaudy inside.

Kakashi nodded his thanks and walked in while Ruka bowed at Kaede in deference and saw the worry in the older woman's eyes. She smiled and hoped her confidence would divert the fear in Kaede-san's eyes. It worked somewhat but Ruka could still sense Kaede reluctance to leave.

Ruka slid the door shut and bolted it. She took a deep breath, turned behind to face Kakashi and saw the shinobi was already undressed and laid out the futon. Kakashi had removed his jounin vest and his top, exposing his white undershirt. Ruka gave him one uneasy look before she approached the older man. Although he had promised to keep things platonic, she was still a bit apprehensive of sleeping with the man.

As though Kakashi sensed her thoughts, he looked up at her standing figure and gave her his customary eye-smile. This only caused the girl to shake her head but she did relax and carefully sat down on the futon.

"How would you like to do this, Hatake-san?" she asked politely, waiting for his instruction. She was rather lost.

"Just lie down, Ruka-san. I promise I won't bite. And considering our latest position, I think you can safely call me 'Kakashi'."

It did not register to Ruka that she had been given the honor of addressing her client by name. Instead, she was more preoccupied with her current situation. She glared at the amusement she could hear in his voice and see in his eyes. The bastard really thought this was funny, coming to a brothel and having a call-girl refusing to put out. As much as she wanted to say something absolutely scathing, she bit her lips and lay down on the futon carefully.

In a move she could not see, Kakashi blew out the candles and left the room in darkness. Ruka felt him slipping into the futon and laying down beside her. Once he settled, he pulled the startled girl into his arms and held her close with a hand around her waist.

"Alright?" he asked softly. He did not enjoy forcing women to be in his company. Besides, he enjoyed Ruka's company. He did not want to unknowingly destroy this relationship.

"Yes," she whispered back. He nodded and did not expect more, his body relaxing suddenly at her closeness. Kakashi was pleasantly surprised when he slid into a deep sleep. His last thought before he fell unconscious was that he was right about her presence.

She was definitely a balm to his scarred soul.

XXX

Hatake Kakashi simply stared at his leader. He could not believe what the older man had done once more. He had actually assigned Kakashi a genin team once again. The silver haired jounin wondered if there was somewhere he could bang his head. In the Nara clan's famous words, "This is so troublesome."

"You have Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto. Kakashi, I hope you understand what this means?"

Kakashi resisted the urge to take out his favorite orange book and use it to shield his face. He was also proud of the fact that he had managed to avoid rolling his eyes or faking a yawn. Instead, he controlled his features and nodded at the Hokage.

"I understand."

"Do you really?" The old man questioned and sighed. "Kakashi, the council will not allow Sasuke to fail. As the last Uchiha, they will expect him to pass the Genin test tomorrow. He is obsessed in becoming an avenger and the village's worship of him has only made him feel far too superior. In a sense, that is why Haruno is assigned to your team. As one of his fangirls, she would be there to boost his sense of superiority. Well, that and her mother insisted. Being in the council, she is becoming quite a pain. You also know Naruto. There are several reasons I have assigned Naruto to you, Kakashi. One, as Sasuke is expected to pass Naruto would not be forced to fail. Two, Naruto's work ethics would push Sasuke to work harder. Three, as the Kyuubi jinchuriki, I need someone I trust to watch him. Four, as his father's late student, I am trusting you with his education. Do you understand the severity of this situation, Kakashi?"

Kakashi straightened and nodded. "Hai, Sandaime-sama!"

XXX

"You look like the world is ending," an amused, musical voice came from the doorway.

Kakashi turned and smiled ruefully at the stunning young woman. He was actually starting to get rather worried about his attachment to her. For over a year, he has been coming to Kaede's establishment just to see Ruka. With every visit, a little of his soul was healed and a little of his sanity returned. Even his comrades had been commenting about how approachable he was. As shinobi, they had caught him going to the brothel often but he doubted any of them knew it was the mere companionship of the woman before him.

As he watched her approach him in their usual room, Kakashi had the strongest desire to simply grab the woman and show her how much she truly meant to him. The past year seemed almost like a dream. She was just perfect. She never flirted with him. She was brutally honest. She was painfully innocent. The darker side of him almost overwhelmed him with the desire to corrupt that innocence. He both loved and hated Ruka's innocence. The way her eyes would shine with childish glee when she debated with him or listened as he explained something was torturously adorable.

Kakashi already knew what his problem was. He was in love with the little sweetheart. Over the years, she had simply managed to win him over and he had not realized it at all. Unfortunately, with her current occupation and his own reputation, they were pretty much world's apart. While Kakashi rarely gave a damn about what others thought of him nowadays, he was still the clan head of his clan. Since he was the only member of his clan, Kakashi had not claimed his spot on the council. He just knew that it was too much of a headache. Besides, he never had the right temperament to deal with idiots. However, as a clan head he was expected to marry a respectable woman if he wanted to settle down. Marrying a woman from the brothel was definitely one of the biggest taboo he could possibly make. No one would ever accept it. They would contest his marriage at every stage. If, by any miracle, his marriage made through, they would make life a living hell for his wife.

Kakashi could not imagine Ruka having a harder life. She would practically be ostracized by the people. Considering her cheerful nature, he shuddered to think of her being forced to be alone. It was for that reason that he refused to simply buy her from Kaede.

However, he wondered how long it would be before Kaede finally allowed Ruka to take other customers. Kakashi was aware that Ruka served only him but he was only paying the standard price. He did give Ruka a generous tip but she had shook her head one day and told him to stop giving her so much when all they do is talk. It had been a losing battle. Ruka had won it without allowing Kakashi to say much.

That memory always made the copy ninja smile.

"Well, my favorite shinobi, would you enlighten this one on your thoughts?" Ruka asked as she settled before him, her legs gracefully tucked under her.

"It's nothing much, really. Sandaime-sama told me a couple of days ago that he had assigned a genin team for me to train. Since they all passed, I now have a team."

Ruka raised a well-shaped eyebrow. "What's wrong about training a genin team? I would say that it would at least give you some downtime. You are quite overworked, Kakashi-san. A long break would be quite a blessing."

Kakashi wanted very much to tell her exactly who he was in charge of but he refrained. For now, he would keep the names of his new charges a secret. Once the genin test had been administered, he could share the experience with her. Kakashi was sure Ruka would find the three children to be entertaining.

"Considering how much of a disaster I am with kids, this whole operation could possibly go FUBAR," Kakashi pouted. He reached out to blow out all the candles. Darkness fell upon the room as it usually did. In the dark, Kakashi removed his hitai-ate and his mask. He pulled Ruka towards his side and threw the cover over them. They cuddled in bed as they had been doing for over a year. It was so routine by now that Ruka barely flinched or jumped when Kakashi moved. Instead, she welcomed the warmth surrounding her. It still amazed her how safe she felt in his arms.

"I am quite sure you are quite good with kids, Kakashi-san," Ruka replied dryly with a roll of her eyes. Kakashi's pout stubbornly remained.

"Oh, I'm fine with just basic babysitting and simply entertaining a few kids. Asking me to train them though…. Ruka-chan, it is a very huge responsibility. Considering my team, I would also be the adult they will be looking to for comfort and guidance. As I had never really been a child, I am not sure how to go about training these kids and being what they need," Kakashi finally said after a few moments of silence.

Ruka nodded slowly in his arms. She placed her hands over his, which were on her stomach and rubbed comforting circles on the back of his hands. "As long as you give them your best, I think everything will be fine. Don't worry too much. Besides, I'm sure you will have a better handle on them after your first few meetings."

Kakashi pulled her full figure flush against his body and buried his nose in her hair, taking a deep breath of her jasmine scented hair. It was his favourite scent as he felt it suited her the most. The first time he passed by Yamanaka's Flower Shop and caught the scent of that reminded him so much of Ruka, he had gone in and looked around until he had found it. He had finally bought a bunch of white jasmine flowers, which Inoichi's daughter, Ino, had informed him, meant attachment, sensuality, amiability and modesty. He had almost laughed when he realized the flower described Ruka to a tee.

On a side note, the news of him buying flowers spread, caused many people to wonder who caught the copy ninja's eyes and made the council giddy as they thought he was finally settling down. That rumor died a painful death when they found the flowers at the memorial stone. What no one had noticed was the handful of flowers he had taken and given to Ruka. The smile of her face was enough to make him consider braving the flower shop once more.

"You're right. No point dwelling on it. Let's sleep, shall we?"

Ruka simply smiled while inside she realized just how rarely she would see her shinobi after this. After all, Naruto was going to join the shinobi corps as a genin. She had finally passed the genin test after much drama. She could still see Iruka-sensei with the fuuma shuriken on his back and forced herself not to shudder. Either way, she already knew she could not hang around the brothel much anymore. It looked like she would have to come up with a system to still see Kakashi. He looked as though he was still planning on seeing her. Ruka just hoped she would be able to provide the shoulder her ninja needed.

XXX

This cannot be happening!

This was not fair in the least!

Naruto wanted to scream and shout and throw a tantrum but she refrained by the skin of her teeth. Of all the person who could have been assigned as Team 7's sensei, she had to get Hatake Kakashi. Naruto was painfully worried that Kakashi would recognize her as Ruka but when he barely paid any attention to her, she knew she had barely dodged the bullet this time. Naruto knew that Kakashi would easily figure out that Naruto and Ruka were one and the same once he spent enough time with both. Had it been another sensei, Naruto would have thought of continuing to see Kakashi as Ruka but now, she knew she could not do it.

She had thrown in her best performance during her introduction and barely heard his instructions for the genin test. Her mind played a hundred different scenarios but at the end Naruto knew Ruka could not see Kakashi anymore.

It was best for her to stop seeing Kakashi. At least this way, she did not feel as though she was lying to him. A part of her died knowing she would never see him in an intimate setting again. Another part suffered knowing he would be confused on why she was ending their platonic relationship. He had truly opened up after months of spending time together and now all her efforts to get him to open up would probably be washed down the toilet.

Naruto barely paid attention to her surroundings. Mechanically, she followed her ritual to slip into the brothel. She needed to talk to Kaede about this latest development and her heart almost broke, knowing that those warm arms that meant safety and belonging would never wrap around her body again. The tears that simply begged to be let out was forced behind sheer willpower. Naruto needed to do this. She was not willing to continue a charade. It was one thing for her to know Kakashi in a personal setting with his knowledge. It was a whole other thing for her to know Kakashi in a professional setting and still associate with him personally without his knowledge. That kind of trust was not easily repaired once broken.

Since Naruto knew she would not want anyone tricking her like that, she decided to end her relationship with Kakashi as Ruka.

This was going to be painfully hard.

Kaede stared at the fidgeting child before her. She was as worried as Naruto about the situation though for a whole different reason. As Naruto was still very young, she had not truly experienced love. She had not given much thought of her relationship with Kakashi. She enjoyed spending time with him and sleeping with him but to Naruto, it was the companionship and the joy of belonging to someone that kept her coming for more. Her thoughts and feelings for Kakashi were still very innocent. It might also be due to her growing up in a brothel. She knew that men and women sleep just for physical pleasure and that love was not any of their main concern. She would not have expected Kakashi to have fallen for her.

Unfortunately, Kaede knew Kakashi was in love with Naruto or rather, with Ruka. He always requested Ruka's presence and would visit multiple times a week just to see her. Ever since they started sleeping together, Kakashi had become a regular. Kaede knew they never took it to the next level but she could see from Kakashi's eyes that the ninja wanted to claim Ruka. In fact, he would often require if anyone else asked for Ruka and had asked Kaede to refuse any offers for Ruka. If at any time Kaede was forced into taking an offer for Ruka, Kakashi was to be informed first. After the first few times, Kaede had finally told Kakashi she had no plans on introducing Ruka as a new girl.

Kaede doubted that Kakashi would allow Ruka to simply go. Even if he did storm out in anger, he would always come back and try to get her back. Kaede knew Naruto had not thought about this and truly, she was worried for her girl. However, at this time, the matter was out of her hands. She could only advice Naruto on how to approach him and talk to him about breaking things off. And she could only pray and it would work.

Otherwise, Naruto would have the son of the White Fang after her. As far as Kaede knew, people like Kakashi were very territorial. They would not give up easily as long as they believe something – or in this case someone – belonged to them. Taking into account that Hatake Kakashi had never – to her knowledge – fallen in love, Naruto was going to have a hard time convincing Kakashi not to see her anymore.

XXX

Kakashi had been deep in thought as he went to the brothel. Things were quite messed up at the moment. The whole world seemed to have gone crazy ever since he met his genin team yesterday.

Kakashi had gone to pick them up three hours late. He was quite unimpressed with the eraser trick and made sure they knew it. He had hoped for something more elaborate from Konoha's resident prankster.

When he had finally looked at his genin team, Kakashi felt as though he was missing something huge. He had written Sakura off as a fangirl and Sasuke as a red alert case. Uzumaki Naruto though had him pursing his lips. There was something painfully familiar about Naruto. Oh, the boy definitely reminded him of his sensei but there was something else in there too. Kakashi just had not figured out what.

However, the one thing he knew for sure was that Naruto was avoiding him. The genin tried to look everywhere but at him and did not come anywhere near Kakashi when they were not sparring. It was not very noticeable and two days were not enough to make such a claim but Kakashi just had this strong feeling that there was something in the air and he did not like it one bit.

Besides that, he was forced to go on a mission last night and it had not been a good one. He had reached home in the early hours of the morning and it had been very cold. The jounin had simply undressed and dropped heavily onto his bed. He felt completely exhausted, which was another reason he was completely late for the testing.

On top of that, Gai had managed to corner him and challenge him to a drinking competition. Kakashi had pointed out that it was still early in the day but the jounin did not listen. Needless to say, despite winning, he was sure he was going to have a killer headache tomorrow morning. He was drunk, tired and hungry. It was not a good combination. While Kakashi never actually looked drunk unless he was smashed, it did not mean he was going to be good company. So he happily eliminated the jounin lounge.

Now all Kakashi wanted was to go and see Ruka. It would be fantastic to curl around her heat and simply sleep. Not seeing her for a couple of days had completely soured his mood and it showed, especially to his colleagues. They would have teased him about it had he not simply shunshined away.

Unfortunately, when he entered the brothel and saw Kaede's worried eyes – no matter how much she tried to conceal her feelings, he always knew – and just knew he was not going to receive good news. Gods above but he really hoped that Ruka was there that night. Thank goodness he had already had his share of alcohol. Hopefully it will help lessen any surprise he might have.

Kaede winced internally at the sight of the copy nin and his obvious bad mood. She knew he had come over as Ruka had always managed to get him to relax. Now though, she was stuck with the duty of informing Kakashi that Ruka was not available anymore. As much as she would like to wash her hands off this problem, she was the reason Ruka was even in this mess in the first place.

"Hatake-san, may I please see you in private?" Kaede asked softly, her eyes trying to convey the seriousness of the issue.

Kakashi frowned but nodded. They walked over to a quiet corner and Kaede passed an envelope to him. "That is from Ruka. If I may be so bold, I would suggest you read that in the privacy of your home."

Kakashi looked at the white envelope in trepidation. He had a feeling he knew what was in the letter but the thought that Ruka did not even think of him highly enough to end things face to face left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"I am sure you can guess what is in that letter. I wish I could say something to enlighten you but I can't. Ruka-chan had no choice in the matter. I leave it up to her to explain in the letter. Good day, Hatake-san," Kaede said quietly as she bowed and left.

He held the letter tightly before he sighed and walked out of the brothel. It looked like today had gone from bad to worse.

Kakashi looked up at the sky and wondered if it would rain. The weather would then match his mood perfectly.

XXX

Kakashi-san,

Do I still have the right to call you so familiarly? This stunt of mine would probably anger you. How I wish I could simply face you and tell you what is wrong? How I wish I could confide in you all my problems and hope you can make them all go away? How I wish I could say goodbye if only for a moment?

I have never been as happy as I was this last year with you. I have always thought so lowly of men. It is hard not to when one is in my position. However, you managed to change my mind completely. Thinking of you only brought thoughts of safety and belonging. Sleeping by your side wrapped in your arms had been one of the most beautiful moments in my life. If I were given a choice, I wish I could stay right by your side for the rest of my life.

It is shame that reality is so far from fantasy that it is not even funny. Even as I write this letter, I am fighting with myself in order to face you. Still, if I saw you, I would probably never leave and unfortunately, that would be disastrous for both of us.

You are an elite of this village. I am practically the trash. We live in such different worlds and yet you have managed to bridge that gap. For what it's worth, I am forever grateful and I thank the gods that we met. You have come so far, Kakashi-san. You are not the man I met the first day. You have become someone more and I am humbled to know this part of you. Please, do not give up. Live your life. Learn to believe again.

I am not there to lend you a shoulder anymore. Despite that, I know you will be fine. You are very strong and your strength will bring you far.

Goodbye, Kakashi-san.

May our paths cross once more.

Your friend,

Ruka

XXX

Naruto had known that Ruka's sudden disappearance would affect Kakashi. She had simply underestimated how much. The silver haired nin had become a recluse once more. He took more missions and came later to the group meetings. He was very halfhearted in teaching them, or rather, he barely taught them anything. Kakashi kept insisting on teamwork exercises and doing D-rank missions.

Naruto could already see Sasuke losing his patience. She knew Sasuke was just a walking time bomb. The youngster was so consumed by the thought of vengeance and revenge that only the idea of power appealed to him. On the other hand, Sakura could not be bothered with her own training and kept following the Uchiha heir like a lost puppy.

The blonde haired girl was terrified at the state of her team. There was no team as far as she could see. Naruto could already imagine the catastrophe that would occur on their first C-rank mission. No doubt one of them will end up getting killed and it'll be her luck that either Sakura or Sasuke end up dead. Then the whole village would blame her and be after her head again. Naruto grimaced at the thought. There was no way that was happening.

She watched her sensei carefully and sighed tiredly. He wasn't the only one suffering but she could not say that to him. Naruto knew that Kakashi found stability with her but the irony of the situation was something she was unwilling to contemplate.

The bombshell the Hokage dropped on her had still not faded. The truth of her unwanted heritage was something she learned by pure accident. She was just lucky that Kakashi had not come for her that night. It had been a rare night off and she had gone to the woods to relax. It was a complete coincidence that Umino Iruka and Touji Mizuki ended up fighting and arguing at that spot.

However, the shock of Mizuki's treachery was overshadowed by the horrific truth he let out. The fact that she was hated for an incident beyond her control had left her feeling numb with pain and shock. On top of that, to find out the one shinobi she had held higher than any other was the cause of her condition, broke her heart. It was only Iruka's words that shook her out of her horrified contemplation.

Naruto had been touched by the faith Iruka had in her and that caused her to help her sensei out. Together, it was not hard for them to bring Mizuki down. Besides, one good thing from that night was learning the Kage Bushin no Jutsu. It had been a reconciliatory gift from the Hokage.

The Sandaime was still in Naruto's black books though. It was obvious from the amount of pranks the Sandaime had to be wary of the days after the revelation. However, even Naruto could not maintain her anger with the Sandaime. Without him, she knew her life could have been so much worse. He had never forced her to show people her true gender.

Naruto had never hidden the fact that she was a girl. However, she had never advertised it either. Deception was a ninja's most precious tool. A tool that saved Naruto's sanity. Considering the fact that she grew up in the red light district, she knew beyond doubt that the chances of her being raped was very high as a girl. As a boy, she got beaten up more often.

Nara Shikamaru had figured out her true identity, of course. Nothing much escapes that boy. However, he had kept silent of her true identity. She was also sure that Aburame Shino and Hyuuga Hinata had figured out her true gender. As they were all private people she knew they would not blab that information to anyone. On the other hand, it was a good thing that the Hokage kept an eye on her scent and masked it so that Inuzuka Kiba did not realize her true gender. That boy would have yelled it at the top of his lungs.

In the light of recent events though, Naruto knew better than anyone that the situation could not go on for much longer. Kakashi moping about like a lost puppy was the worst thing to happen to the team. Naruto needed Kakashi to buck up and take his responsibility seriously. To do that, only one person could achieve the needed result.

All she needed to do was figure out how to get her message across.

XXX

He truly should not have come here again.

Kakashi stared at the building before his eyes and sighed. While he usually would have given up at this point, even he admitted Ruka had quite firmly placed herself in his life and his sanity. After years of bloodshed and death and loss, Kakashi had finally found the one person who could be his strength and his rock. He could not afford to lose her no matter what she said.

His first opponent was Kaede. If he could get the woman to tell him where Ruka was, he could start figuring out what to do next. Kaede was his first hurdle and he squared his shoulders as he walked into the establishment, ready to face her.

Kakashi had expected many things on his arrival. He had expected Kaede to pull a fast one and disappear. He had expected the girls to be an annoying block. He had expected tears and begging and pleading.

He had not expected being guided to Kaede's private room upon his arrival. As he sat facing the older woman, he wondered what she wanted with him. Perhaps he could use that as a leverage to find out where Ruka was.

"Hatake-san, I will get straight to the point. Ruka-chan gave this to me a couple of days back. She hoped you would give her a chance and read the letter. She also hoped that you would give a reply to her letter. I have agreed to be her middle woman and I hope you understand how hard this is for her."

The stern visage of the woman before him did nothing to reduce the amount of shock Kakashi felt. Ruka had written a letter? Why did she not meet him? How did she know he was going to be back?

"Even I realize how close the two of you have gotten over the year, Kakashi-san. She knew you better than anyone else. To tell you the truth, I had advised her against this. She really should not be meeting you anymore. However, she insisted. She told me to pass this letter to you if you came for her. If you never did, I did not need to pass the letter on. You have to understand. Ruka-chan is not one of my girls. Her home life was terrible and she used to come here to hide out. I provided her sanctuary but now, due to her own reasons, she could not come here anymore. Hatake-san, you have to understand, she had already sabotaged her own future by spending so much time here. Knowing you, especially in this manner can seriously hurt her future."

Kakashi growled, his fingers clenching Ruka's letter tightly.

"I offered more than once to make her mine. You always refused. I never made it a secret that I wanted her. Why didn't you let her know that she could have a future with me?"

Kaede shook her head. "We both have our own reasons. Maybe one day she would tell you but for now, it is not safe for her to remain here anymore."

Kakashi blinked his eye rapidly. Worry clenched his heart. "Is she in any danger?"

The older woman shook her head as she stood up. "Leave it be, Hatake-san. For now, you have a letter to read and an answer to give. I will leave you here to take care of your business. If you would excuse me."

Kakashi watched her leave, a familiar feel of trepidation taking over. After almost three weeks of hell, he was not sure if he wanted to open and see what Ruka had written to him. His fingers were shaking lightly as he slowly opened the letter and read the words written in beautiful calligraphy. His eyes widened as he read her letter before they softened and closed. An acute feeling of tiredness seeped into Kakashi's whole being.

XXX

Dear Kakashi-san,

How I wish I could simply hit your head over and over again until common sense gets firmly knocked into you! I never thought I would write this letter especially for such a thing as this.

What on earth do you think you are doing? While I keep myself hidden from you, it does not mean that I do not keep in touch with whatever is going on in your life. You are my friend, Kakashi-san. You are my friend and my confidante and my strength. You have no idea how much I value our nights together. The feeling of safety in your arms was something I got addicted to.

You always told me the one thing you regret most was the death of the people you love. You told me about Uchiha Obito-san, Rin-san, Yondaime-sama and your father. You told me you wished you were stronger. You wished you had more sense. So what are you doing now?

Kakashi-san, you have three children who are counting on you to become better ninja, better fighters and better protectors. You have three impressionable children who will one day venture into the world whether you train them or not. Are your ready to bury their bodies?

As harsh as this seems, someone really needs to knock this into your head. Moping around because of me is not an excuse. Killing yourself through multiple missions is not an answer. Why are you making me guilty by association by using me as an excuse? As much as I care for you, I do not want those children's blood on my hands.

Now that I am done scolding you, allow me to coddle you a little. How are you doing? Have you been eating right? Are you even sleeping? I admit, I have not been sleeping as well at nights since we stopped meeting. Many times I wish I could have run to you but at this stage that is impossible.

Kakashi-san, the main reason Kaede-san and I decided to end our association was due to my age. It was time for me to get out of Kaede-san's protection and venture into the world, so to speak. That and well, by civilian laws, I am underage. You must have realized I was young. I do not know how old you thought I was but I can assure you I am much younger. That was the reason Kaede-san was quite firm on ensuring you never thought of me as another of her girls.

There were some things she said or implied that I might be making something out of it. If I am, I apologize but nonetheless, I should say this. I apologize if I ended up misleading you. I care for you deeply, Kakashi-san but I am not sure to what extent. So I apologize, if any of my actions seem to promise something even I do not understand.

That said, if you are willing, I do not mind keeping in touch with you. However, I hope you do not mind our correspondence being limited to letters. I cannot see you face to face, Kakashi-san. That is the one thing I beg of you not to ask of me.

Please to think of what I have said. Do take care of yourself and do take care of those little devils of yours. You do not want this to be another of your regrets, of that I am sure.

If I am too presumptuous of our situation, I apologize. I hope to hear from you, either way.

Stay safe.

Ruka.

XXX

Ruka-chan,

I do not know what to write or how to put into words what I am feeling right now. I think I really needed that figurative kick in the ass.

I am glad to hear from you. You are not the only who missed our time together. And you are right. I have made a mess of my career as a sensei. Minato-sensei must be rolling in his grave!

I did offer to buy you no matter how many times Kaede-san refused. Truly, I was wondering what she was waiting for but it looks like you gave the answer. I have no idea how to feel about being with a younger girl. Well… much younger than the 16 years of age I assumed you were. Considering what you insinuated, I must be at least 10 years older than you. I had hoped that was less. It does make me feel like a cradle robber. I can only be glad that I did not push for sex.

Ruka, I do care for you, deeply and it is more than a physical thing. However, I am not pushing for anything. For now, your friendship means more to me than you can imagine. Perhaps we can keep this up and see where it leads?

I will do better. I have to and I thank you for waking me up. Be safe. Take care.

Kakashi.

XXX

Kakashi-san,

How are you doing? I hope the past week had been good for you. My little informant told me you look better. I am really glad to hear that.

How are your genin? How have the practice sessions been progressing? Your little devils must be stunned with the change. It would have been amusing to see their reaction!

Ruka

XXX

Ruka-chan,

I am fine. How are you doing? The past week has been good. I have gotten more rest and I have eaten well too.

You have an informant? My, my, how is that fair to me? Should I not have an informant on you as well?

My cute little students are all well. They were truly surprised with the change. In fact, Sakura actually tried to chant 'Kai' to dispel me thinking I was a genjutsu. It was beyond hilarious. Of course, after I had a nice laugh, I made them run enough laps to make them curse my name.

I wish I could see you but I know for now any attempt on my end to meet you will be met by heavy resistance. Ruka, I don't care if we remain friends but can you promise me we will meet again one day?

Kakashi

XXX

Kakashi-san,

I am much better these days. Life is really different now. I can say that it is a positive change.

Please, do not make me promise that. I can't, with clear conscience, do that. For as long as I am able, I will give you my support from the shadows. Please, don't hate me for this.

I am glad to see you are getting on well with your students. That's fantastic. You have so much to pass down to them. Considering who they are, I am sure they will take to a heavier training session with vigor. Push them and push them hard, Kakashi-san, so that they know you are serious, that being a ninja is serious. Children nowadays do not really understand that. D-rank missions are so different than C-rank ones after all.

Take care of yourself.

Until next time,

Ruka

XXX

Ruka-chan,

Why are you still so formal with me? I think we are past the formalities, aren't we? If you promise to be more casual with me, I will stop hounding you for your location. As long as you are safe and happy, I am content.

I took your advice to heart. I am pushing my little students fast and hard. Naruto and Sasuke have taken to training like ducks to water. Sakura is much harder to convince. I am at my wits end with this girl. I do have a plan to get her out of her fangirl world and I truly hope it works. Perhaps a dose of reality is what she needs.

May I know what you are doing nowadays? I miss hearing you telling me about your day. Do you know that you have a really addictive voice? I can listen to you all day and not get bored.

Kakashi

XXX

Kakashi,

Very well. Let us try this informal way. Thank you for not pushing me. I really appreciate it. I have a new guardian and he is taking good care of me. I am pleased with him. I hope I can build a good rapport with him.

So, have you finalized your plan yet? I am quite interested in your latest idea. Sakura-san sounds like someone who has been fed fairytales all her life. I wish that innocence can be saved. It is unfortunate that if we care for her innocence, we sacrifice her life. If only there was a way to protect her from the ugliness of the world… It is only a sad dream, truly. However, I am glad that one way or another, she is learning to protect herself better.

How are your other two students? Have they given you much problems? Considering your two, I thought they would be the most problematic. Looks like I am wrong.

Stay safe.

Ruka.

XXX

Ruka-chan,

Thank you for dropping the formality. I am glad your new guardian is taking good care of you. You deserve the best.

I know you might disapprove but the hokage and I have decided to bring the kiddies out on a C-rank mission. It would take them away from the village for a bit and give Sakura a taste of real life. It's best she learns what a shinobi life is like before I have to bury another body.

Naruto and Sasuke are…very interesting individuals. Sasuke is a quick learner and a ninjutsu specialist. Despite not having his bloodline yet, you can see the potential in him. In many ways, he reminds me of me. Naruto…I have no idea how to describe him. The child is very rambunctious. He is so full of energy that it is actually a little tiring just being around him. Yet, all that enthusiasm is actually quite uplifting as well.

That kid has a mind of his own. He is a different kind of genius. He is definitely not someone who will shine in the classroom but I have a feeling he will do magnificently on the field. He is a street kid and as such reacting to situations is how he functions. I am looking forward to seeing him in the field. It would be quite a sight.

Take care.

Kakashi.

XXX

Kakashi,

It's nice to see you so excited about your students. I am uncertain about a C-rank so early in their training but you are their sensei and if you feel they are ready then, maybe they are. Sometimes, real experience gives a better perspective after all.

I hope you do not feel as though I am stepping out of line but I have been asking around about Sasuke-san and Naruto-san. Naruto-san seems to require quite a bit of attention as he seems to flourish under positive influence. Umino Iruka-san was very insistent on that note. Sasuke-san though, worries me a little. He is quite obsessed with his family's death and it worries me to what extent he might to go to achieve the power he feels would be enough to kill Uchiha Itachi.

Please, do not get me wrong but people his type really tend to see only one way. As his sensei and his minder, I realize you have to keep an eye on him. I do know that the D-rank teamwork based missions are supposed to help but based on your previous observation, it has yielded no results. Again, you should know better than me. Maybe I am overreacting regarding him.

Stay safe.

Ruka

XXX

Ruka-chan,

My team is heading out for a C-rank escort mission. It should be a straightforward mission but something smells really fishy about this. Either way, I might not be able to contact you for a while. Take care and I'll keep an eye on Sasuke. Don't worry about telling me your observation. Your social skills and understanding trumps mine any day.

Kakashi

XXX

Hatake Kakashi watched his training students with a critical eye. Just last week, they had faced Momochi Zabuza and Haku and came out victorious. It was only through sheer dumb luck that both missing nin were alive and currently recovering from their ordeal. Having a chidori shoved into one's shoulder and into another tends to put some strain on the bodies.

Currently Sakura was practicing the water walking exercise to increase her control, stamina and chakra. Sasuke was assigned to watch over Tazuna, the bridge builder but Kakashi had also told him to practice water walking instead of sitting down doing nothing. Naruto though was going through his kata with Kakashi correcting him every few minutes.

There was something nagging at Kakashi's conscience. It had been bothering him since morning and now that it was high noon, the feeling had intensified strongly. Kakashi knew he could not put this off any longer and called out to his startled student, beckoning him to follow.

They walked quite some ways into the forest and once Kakashi was sure they were alone, he turned a curious eye on his student before he leaned close and took a deep breath.

Naruto blinked her eyes a couple of times before her cheeks stained an embarrassed red. She took a few hesitant steps back and looked at her sensei warily.

"Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing?"

Kakashi gave his patented eye-smile while he processed what he scented. It should have been impossible but then again…this was Naruto.

"Naruto…why are you acting like a boy?"

Naruto blinked rapidly once more and tilted her head cutely to the side. "Huh?"

Kakashi simply raised his eyebrow in a look that quite simply said, 'Really? You want to try that?'

"I don't understand. I have not been pretending to be a boy, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto replied stubbornly.

Her sensei sighed and sat on the ground, waving his hand so that she would do the same. Naruto sat gingerly, still wondering how her sensei figured it out.

As though reading her expression, Kakashi eye-smiled again. "It's your scent. You started menstruating."

"Oh!" The young teenage girl blushed in embarrassment but then simply shrugged her shoulders. "Usually Sandaime-jiji takes care of the scent but since I'm here…"

"So, you want to tell me about this little deception?"

Naruto shrugged. "It's not a deception per say, Kakashi-sensei. It's just a tiny bit of misdirection."

Kakashi gave a look that clearly told her to explain. Although the shinobi already guessed the story, he wanted to hear it from his student's mouth. In addition, people tend to reveal more when he says nothing at all. She might add information that he did not expect.

"Ah well, everyone in class is used to girls fangirling Sasuke-teme and dressing up and stuff, well, except Hinata-chan but she's awesome like that. I did not want anyone to notice I was a girl mainly for the villagers at first but then also because I prefer the shinobi classes to the kunoichi ones. And you have no idea how so many people just accept things at face value. Just because I dress in a migraine inducing orange jumpsuit two sizes too big and keep short hair, people think I'm a guy and I just don't bother correcting them. Some figured out I am a girl but kept referring to me as a guy just to maintain cover. It provides a layer of protection after all."

Kakashi rubbed his hair and sighed. "I can't believe I fell for it too. I knew something was wrong but I could not pinpoint what exactly was wrong. I am really out of shape. Well, far be it for me to take away that protection from you but Naruto, demo, there is nothing wrong with being a kunoichi, you know. There are quite a number of them who are fantastic, Tsunade-sama for one."

The blonde haired teenager nodded. "I know, sensei, but none of those girls are the Jinchuriki of Kyuubi, hated by a whole village and blamed for everything from the rising of the sun to its setting. Thank you for not asking me to change."

The silver haired nin nodded. "Aa. You know, out of curiousity, what is your name?"

Naruto chuckled in amusement. "Figures you never finished the official file jiji gave you. My name, as given by my mother apparently, is Nagisa, Uzumaki Nagisa."

Kakashi sighed with a soft smile behind his mask. "Nagisa, ka? That's a beautiful name. Your mother definitely knew how to name you. It's written as seashore, right?"

The blonde haired girl nodded. "Aa. I suppose it goes with Uzumaki and is a tribute to Uzushiogakure. All Jiji told me about my parents was that my mother was from Uzushiogakure. It's something at least…"

"Hmm… and Naruto? How did you come to be called by that?" Kakashi asked, truly curious. He knew his sensei wanted to name his son 'Naruto'. However, as he was not there for the birth, he did not know how Sandaime-sama managed to hide Nagisa's gender and change the baby from a 'she' to a 'he'.

"Jiji did not reveal my original gender to the council, apparently. He only told them that a baby was chosen to hold the Kyuubi. When they ordered my death, he hid my gender and swore a nurse he chose into secrecy. Luckily, she actually liked me, so she agreed. I have no idea why he started calling me 'Naruto' though… and when I started to eat ramen and love it, I took it as a nickname. Jiji signed me up as 'Naruto' though so I just kept it. Besides, 'Nagisa' is a very special name for me. Only Jiji, my nurse and my parents know my real name and well, now you too, sensei. All I ask, is that you keep it a secret. Right now…I can't think of anyone who deserves to know my real name."

Considering her life so far, Kakashi could only nod his head in agreement.

"Well, that is all I wanted to know. Let's get back to improving your kata."

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei!"

XXX

Ruka-chan,

So many things happened in my team's first C-rank mission. You will not believe how crazy the whole situation was. On top of that, I uncovered one more village secret. It is truly a pity I can't share these with you but letters can be intercepted.

How are you doing? It has been so long since we have had any contact. I really miss talking to you. It seems like everything is becoming ridiculously twisted. You were right. I have a responsibility to my students. Yet at this moment, I feel like I am lost. The part of me, which was an elite, has disappeared. I never noticed how empty I felt until now.

Gomen, ne. I seemed to be unloading on you once more.

Take care, Ruka-chan.

Kakashi.

XXX

Kakashi,

I am fine and I am glad to hear from you. Despite the excitement of your team's first serious mission, I am so happy that all of you made it home safely.

Ne, Kakashi…just because you let something go before doesn't mean you can't make up for it now. If you want it enough, you can definitely do it. You were one of the best, right? If you feel hollow with how badly you let yourself go, perhaps you can work to be one of the best again.

I believe in you, Kakashi.

Good luck.

Ruka

XXX

Ruka,

This is why I need you. Out of everyone I know, you always seem to know what to say to me without wasting too many words and filling up long paragraphs.

I have taken my own training to the next level. Although there is still a lot I have to improve on. I can already feel the difference. I have forgotten how much I rely on my eye.

I have been pushing my team harder these days. Naruto and Sasuke are flourishing under my training. However, even this mission has yet to completely break Sakura of her fangirl tendencies. I am so tempted to involve a female colleague of mine but I feel that it might be too traumatizing for Sakura. Unfortunately, if she doesn't shape up soon, she will be more of a liability.

That's why I have decided to sign them up for the Chunin Exams that are held in Konoha this year. Well, it is more political than my complete desire for them to take the exams so early. However, it will also be a good experience for them. I hope this will give them a clearer picture of the shinobi world. I don't want to bury any of them this early.

Will you attend the Chunin Exams? The finals are open to public after all and I am sure you will enjoy watching the matches.

How is your guardian? I hope he is fine and treating you well. Do know that if you are having any problems, you can come to me.

Take care.

Kakashi

XXX

Kakashi,

Thank you for your concern but please don't worry. My guardian is treating me well.

I hope the exams will help you with your problem regarding Sakura-san. Considering the death toll of ninja in the field, I hope she will not be a liability to the team or to herself. This is one of the most dangerous careers to pursue after all.

That said, the exams sound interesting. I wish I could give you a definitive answer on whether I will be there or not. However, my schedule relies heavily on my guardian. As he travels a lot, high chances are that I would either be forced to follow him or I would be stuck at home. If he does attend the exams, I would definitely be there.

I hope your students make it to the finals. You have been speaking favorably about them. It sounds like they have a good chance during their exams as long as they keep a clear head.

Good luck.

Take care.

Ruka

XXX

"You know, Kakashi, just out of curiosity, have you lost interest in your girl at the district?" Asuma asked quietly in the lull of the second exam.

Kakashi looked up at him and artfully raised an eyebrow. "Oh? I did not realize you were keeping track of my whereabouts, Asuma?"

Sarutobi Asuma blew out the smoke he inhaled. "Well, it is more like you were being obvious. I have to say that I never expected you to visit a girl more than once and you kept seeing her for over a year. Now, you stopped going so often there. It is kind of obvious, Kakashi."

The silver haired man hmmed thoughtfully but gave no answer. Inwardly though, he was rather worried. Had he been so careless with his meetings that the ninja around him have been able to pick it up? If his comrades could pick it up, what of his enemies?

Kakashi felt a rush of relieve that Ruka was now nowhere near the district. At least, wherever she is, she would be safe.

That sense of relief only lasted for a short while as a loud commotion caused all the jounin sensei to rush over to deal with the latest problem.

XXX

Orochimaru?

Of all the people his team was unlucky enough to meet, Orochimaru topped that list without any contest.

Besides that, he knew that Sasuke had the Cursed Seal of Heaven, a seal Orochimaru designed and as far as Kakashi knew, no one knew how to get rid of it. The seal was dangerous as he knew that the power Sasuke will get from the seal was tempting enough for the dark haired teen to consider using it continuously.

On top of all that, he knew that the matchup Sasuke got was the most dangerous one in the whole competition. Coupled with the order from the council to train Sasuke exclusively, Kakashi was in a tight place regarding his second female student.

Hyuuga Neji was not someone to take lightly either. Kakashi knew that Naruto would want to stand up for Hinata especially with how Neji had defeated her in the preliminaries. However, Kakashi was painfully tied up with the council.

Luckily, for his own mental health at least, Sandaime-sama reassured him that he already had a teacher for Naruto lined up. Kakashi had a good idea who the Sandaime-sama meant and he was two hearts about it.

For one, Naruto will be able to learn all her father had learnt and get a one on one training with a Sannin. However, this takes her away from him and as the last link to his late teacher and sister-figure, Kakashi loathe to lose contact with her.

Nonetheless, it was out of his hands and he could only hope his students learn enough during the one month before the finals as Kakashi could feel that things were going to be very difficult soon.

With an internal sigh and his ever faithful book covering his face, Kakashi made his way to the hospital.

It was going to be a long month.

XXX

Naruto tilted her head thoughtfully and studied the tall man before her. He was, of course, more interested in the nubile, barely dressed young women before him. His giggles and scribbles were soft enough not to indicate his presence but Naruto wondered if she could be vindictive enough to alert the women to her latest teacher's spying.

Sighing, she leaned close to Jiraiya and whispered with just enough inflection in her voice to let him know she was very serious about this.

"Ero-sensei, if you do not turn around and teach me what I need to know to beat Neji-teme to the ground, I will scream nice and loud EVERYTIME I find you peeping. However, as long as you keep me busy with USEFUL techniques to learn, I will let you peep in peace. You have five seconds to decide."

Jiraiya blinked a couple of times as his latest student's words reached the synapses of his brain before he groaned and turned around to glare at her. The countdown of two fingers was enough to make him panic as he quickly agreed and dragged the orange clad form away from the bushes to a more secluded and quiet area.

The Toad sage smirked at the audacity of his student's daughter but said nothing of it outwardly. After all, he didn't need her to get a big head. However, he could respect a good blackmail. It was time to teach her what she needed to know to beat a Hyuuga.

If her aptitude for summoning was any indication, he was sure she would be able to blow his mind away with her raw talent.

XXX

Beating Neji had not been as difficult as facing a biju.

Beating a biju had been downright easy compared to her current situation.

Naruto cursed inwardly at the sight of Sasuke, his cursed form looming before her. She was so exhausted that it was all she could do to remain standing. Advanced healing or not, she had not completely recovered from her adventures since the Chunin Exams. She could almost feel her body shutting down on her.

The look in Sasuke's eyes broke her heart long before his hand was buried inside her body. Even as the pain flashed though her entire being, she made sure to scratch his headband, the only indication that they had come to a draw. She would be damned if she watched him leave with him thinking he had won.

Sasuke knew it too as he stared into her glazed and closing eyes. His expression would have been unreadable but Naruto had known him long enough for her to understand most of his expressions. The triumph in her eyes were obvious before she finally closed them and slipped into unconsciousness.

She never saw him leave and she never saw Kakashi arrive.

She never felt the desperate way Kakashi held her as he raced back to Konoha.

As far as she was concerned, a long rest was long overdue.

XXX

Kakashi,

I doubt I will hear from you any earlier but I hope at least after the exams, you will get this.

I am unable to watch the exams as my guardian has taken up travelling once more. He has requested me to follow and I have agreed. It is going to be very difficult for me to keep in touch with you so I doubt we will be changing letters anytime soon.

Either way, I wanted to wish you all the best. I am leaving Konoha just as the exams start so I have no idea how your team will be doing. Nonetheless, I am sure they will do just fine.

So good luck. Keep training. Have fun. Live a little more.

Don't start getting depressed on me.

I will miss you and I thank you for getting to know the girl from the district this well. It has been a pleasure and an honor.

Ruka

XXX

Kakashi sighed as he finished reading the letter once more. The moon looked painfully bright from the Hokage Monument.

Everyone has left.

Sasuke had gone to Orochimaru, turning traitor to the leaf and taking Kakashi's prized technique with him. Not to mention, almost killing his other teammate.

Sakura had been apprenticed to Tsunade's current apprentice, Shizune. Tsunade was still not sure if she wanted to take Sakura on. However, if Sakura showed enough initiative, Tsunade might take Sakura on as her apprentice.

Naruto had left with Jiraiya. She was taken on as Jiraiya's apprentice and had gone on a three year training trip with the sannin. Considering everyone who wanted a piece of her, Kakashi was sure Naruto, or rather Nagisa, would appreciate the break from constantly running away from people.

And now Ruka was gone too. Kakashi sighed deeply. Maybe it was a good thing he had been unable to get to Kaede until now. He would have been too distracted to deal with everything.

He was free again, Kakashi thought morosely. There was nothing keep him tied up. Maybe it was time to offer up his services again.

His mind raced to the mask he still kept with the uniform he once wore.

XXX

Author's Note:

Hey guys! So how was it? Is it good enough for me to continue? I hope I remained somewhat in character though the personality of my Naruto is quite different.

For those of you who have read 'When You Look Me In The Eyes' and have asked for a sequel, I am thinking about it and have got a rough idea on how to approach the sequel. Hopefully, that gets written soon.

I hope this chapter did not disappoint. As an avid reader myself, I hope you readers found it a satisfying read. Feel free to drop in words of advice.

Thank you for your time! Have a great day!