NOTES: What happens when you spot a graphic for a "Maria & Natasha are roomies" College AU on tumblr...

Take Two And Call Me In The Morning

Maria was never the kind of girl to have a bestie.

At school, the girls with besties laughed a lot at jokes that were mostly about embarrassing others, and showed their teeth with way too much gum when they smiled. They knew how to apply makeup, flirt, and pick clothes that didn't make them look, like, fifty or something.

They didn't know how to fire a handgun with 95% accuracy, or how to take down a six-foot man who weighed half again as much as they did, and if the word 'laconic' turned up in their vocabulary, it would probably have been followed by, "Oh, I loved his summer bag range!"

At college, Maria went through three roomies in her first two months at MCU. Her first roomie thought that not knowing who Jared Padalecki was (and not caring, which was apparently worse) should have been a capital offence. The second roomie thought Maria was making eyes at her boyfriend, threw a screaming hissy fit at one of the TAs, and had to be taken home two weeks later for a nervous breakdown.

And the third didn't explain that a scarf on the door meant 'having mad doggy sex with a guy who isn't my boyfriend'. Or that when Maria spotted the scarf on the door, she was supposed to head off Sasha's boyfriend at the top of the stairs, and keep him from seeing it.

Sasha made like it was Maria's fault that Ricky broke up with her – nothing to do with the other guy she'd been fucking, and things got really nasty before Sash moved out in a huff.

And then there was Romanoff.

Romanoff was bookish and quiet, with no guy troubles, and no apparent hang-ups. She went to classes on time, didn't appear to have any friends on campus, and didn't require Maria to share all her hobbies. She was also about as gorgeous and perfectly groomed as a model, with a wardrobe full of simple things that somehow exuded class and grace and style.

Maria's first instinct was to shove her into the same pile as the rest of the girls she'd encountered at her middle-class, middle-weight, middle-of-the-road high school. The school were Maria had stood out like the proverbial sore thumb - a girl with too much brains, not enough niceness, and a general 'fuck you' attitude to life, the universe, and all the shit that it dumped on her.

Until the night she cut through one of the campus courtyards and found Romanoff taking on a good half-dozen thugs - and mostly kicking their asses.

The thugs weren't amateurs, Maria noted in the back of her head as she gaped at the unexpected sight of her roomie punching a man in the jaw as she headlocked another guy with her knees.

Maria could fight a guy to a standstill, and two if they underestimated her (they usually did). But she was pretty sure she couldn't pull this kind of shit.

This was…acrobatic. Brutal. Beautiful.

She could damn well help, though.

Picking a time was tricky, although the point at which two of the three still able to fight managed to get Romanoff down on the ground and kicking was probably a good time.

Check for a threat, pick your target, take him down.

Maria went for the nearest one - the standing one. Well, 'went for' in the sense that she dislocated his shoulder. It was pretty easy once you knew where to apply leverage, force, and how to get gravity on your side. He screamed as the joint popped, and he was out of the fight.

The second man stared at her, as though trying to work out where she'd come from. She slammed him at eyelevel with the binder of notes she'd borrowed from Coulson. Those little plastic corners? Were kind of vicious on the eyelids.

Romanoff had already bucked off the third, and as Maria scrambled to her feet, the other girl planted her boot right about the place the man's balls should've been - presuming he had balls before they got squashed flat.

His squeal split the night like the howls of the damned in hell.

It sounded glorious to Maria.

"Feel the need to stay and gloat?" Maria inquired.

"Not at all," came the reply, only a little breathless. "Let's go."

They stopped running once they reached the lit paths, but walked decorously and quietly, with the questions bubbling up in their mouths and their minds. And they said nothing - not even casual niceties - until they were up in their room.

Maria closed the door behind them. "Is your life in danger?"

"No."

"Do you owe people money, property, sexual services, or a combination of the above?"

"No, no, no, and no."

"Do you have anything for that cheek?" She indicated the raw graze that marred the creamy skin.

Romanoff blinked. Then she seemed to sag a little. "No."

Maria pulled out her medical kit. "I'm not going to ask what you're involved in or why they were after you. But is it likely to happen again?"

"Maybe." When Maria indicated the chair by the desk, Romanoff sat down and submitted to being dabbed with antiseptic. "You're taking this very calmly."

"It's take it calmly or have hysterics. I'd rather take it calmly."

"Sometimes it would be nice to get hysterical, though."

"Fucking A." Maria snorted as she studied the pristine cheek, presently scraped and red. "Bandage?"

"No," said Romanoff. "It'll just draw more attention."

"It'll scar otherwise," Maria handed one over. "Put one on tonight and call me in the morning."

One delicate eyebrow rose in cool amusement. "Are you always this bossy when you keep your roomie from being assaulted?"

"I'll tell you the next time it happens." Maria tossed the bloody swabs, put the kit away, and then sat down on the edge of Romanoff's bed and held out her hand. "My name's Maria Hill and I'll be your roomie this year."

A hint of a smile curved Romanoff's mouth. "Natasha Romanoff. It's a pleasure to meet you."

fin