Author's Note: This chapter features a song by No Doubt entitled: Don't Speak

For the Greater Good

Merlin untied his blue neck scarf with trembling hands. He used the cloth to dab at the spot of blood at the corner of his mouth sucking in sharply through his teeth as pain seared across his face. As the raw iron taste began to build within his mouth Merlin spat out a bit of blood on the floor of his grimy prison cell. In his many year as the Once and Future King's faithful manservant Merlin had experienced many of Arthur's personalities. He'd seen pratty Arthur, noble Arthur, fearless warrior Arthur; but never before had he seen the Arthur from this evening. The king's eyes bore a perilous mixture of hurt, betrayal, and fury as his fist met Merlin's jaw in one swift punch. A single tear trickled from Arthur's stormy blue eye as he ordered the arrest of his best friend. Of all the women in the world why did Merlin have to go for that one? It didn't make sense to the king. Nothing did.

Merlin glanced around the dim torch lit dungeon, the fires glowing against the inky night that poured in through his barred window. He went back to dabbing his tender and busted lip wishing he'd been upfront with Arthur. If Merlin had been honest from the beginning he might not be facing the hangman's noose. But then again if he had told the truth about his secret affair that may have altered the course of destiny and destroyed any hope of a time of Albion. Merlin would rather die in this stinking cell than bring destruction to the future of peace and prosperity that could be, the future Arthur was destined to bring.

Merlin threw the blood stained rag across the cell realizing his efforts were all for not. What was the point in fixing his lip just for his neck to be broken at dawn? Instead he spent his time reflecting on her, on what they had, on what he gave up for the greater good…

xXx

Several Years Ago…

As Merlin slowly pulled out the laces of her bodes he couldn't help but ask himself: of all the men in Camelot why did she choose me? She was smart, beautiful, kind, and could have any man she wanted. He felt unworthy of her, and still he could not stay away from her. She was his everything.

"Are you alright," She asked noticing him falter.

"I'm fine," He swore with a thoughtful smile as she lay at his mercy. "Its just we've been sneaking around the castle for months now but we've never gone all the way. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course, I love you Merlin," She vowed and he returned the beautiful words, the two of them drifting into a sweet kiss as they nervously removed each other's coverings.

His tongue slid into her waiting mouth searching out it's every secret as his sweat slick body moved against hers in the candlelight. His arousal searching out her wetness, he boiled with excitement, nervousness, even a modicum of fear as he was soon to know her in every way. She wondered if it would hurt. Would she be able to satisfy a man; she'd never done this before. He broke their kiss, came up for breath as the soft body of his beloved quivered within his embrace.

"I've never done this before either," He whispered as if having read her troubled thoughts and the worry melted from her face. She gingerly placed her hands at the base of his neck pulling his slender body closer, the two of them kissing and caressing until the smooth head of his stone hard shaft was transfixed at her slippery entrance. He could feel her wetness from here enticing him, beguiling him forward. After months of sneaking around she was ready. He was ready.

"Young Warlock!"

Merlin ceased at the thunderous voice echoing and resounding in his mind. "Get out of my head Kilgharrah!" Merlin silently yelled back.

"I've warned you to stay away from her Merlin!" The Great Dragon called telepathically from deep within the bowels of Camelot castle.

Merlin sat up and covered himself cursing the dragon, the fates, and Albion itself.

She sat up on her elbows and questioned, "Is something wrong Merlin?"

"I'm sorry but I can't," He stammered. "I… I just can't."

Her eyes filled with tears as she covered her nakedness with a sheet. She sat up placing her bare back against the cool wood of the headboard. She reached for his hand but he withdrew from her. He'd been distant lately, aloof and melancholy. There were times when it even seemed as if he was avoiding her. As the tears began to trickle down her cheeks she drew in a breath and said:

You and me, We used to be together
Everyday together always

I really feel, That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe, This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real, Well I don't want to know

He searched his mind for any lie any excuse to tell her as his own eyes filled with tear. She put up a hand not even wanting to hear it.

Don't speak, I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak, I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Merlin spent the next two weeks torn between his destiny and his heart knowing Albion would never exist if he didn't let her go. How could their relationship be so dangerous, so detrimental when they loved each other so much? He spotted her at the end of the corridor and quickly altered his route to Arthur's chambers. But he knew that she had seen him. He felt like a bastard but what more could he do? Her shoulders began to heave with heavy tears as she picked up her skirts and ran. What had she done to be treated this way?

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Merlin had never had to break things off with a girl. She was his first love, his everything. But he couldn't avoid her forever, hurt her forever, remain in this stalemate forever. He lowered to one knee and slipped the note beneath her door explaining that it was all for the greater good. She opened his letter tears pouring down her face as she read the words she'd been dreading for a month now. She sank to her knees, sobbing into her hands. Why? What had she ever done?

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!

Morgana charged down the corridor like a raging bull with Merlin's letter clutched in her fist. She slapped him so hard it sounded off throughout the palace. Causing idling servants to snap to attention.

"For the greater good!" She bellowed. "Was that the best you could come up with?"

Gwen raced down the hall begging her lady not to make a scene.

Merlin moved to speak to the furious woman but Morgana raised a hand to silence him. Gwen pulled her down the hall, leaving him alone to wallow in his pain.

I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't speak, don't speak, don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Later that evening Prince Arthur of Camelot stepped out for a breath of fresh air. He froze as he spotted a lone figure on the steps. It was Gwen her knees were drawn up to her chest and she was sobbing into her hands.

Arthur jogged down to her, "Guinevere?"

She snapped into servant mode at once, "I'm sorry. What can I do for you milord?"

"What's wrong?" His eyes were wide with concern.

Gwen smiled through her tears at the very thought that the Prince of Camelot would be worried about her. She tried to tell him it was nothing but he insisted.

"Well Milord," She spoke at last, "The fellow I was courting broke things off with me, said it was for the greater good."

"Then he's a moron," Arthur said rather blatantly and Gwen laughed for the first time in weeks. "Shall I throw him a beating?" Arthur offered.

"No need Sire," Gwen assured him. "You should have seen the smack the Lady Morgana gave him on my behalf. She's very protective of me."

Now it was Arthur's time to laugh, "You told Morgana. Were you trying to get the chap killed?!"

"His letter fell from my apron and she picked it up. I didn't have a choice," Gwen giggled amused that the prince of Camelot actually had a personality. Prince Arthur isn't the arrogant bully I thought he was…

He extended an arm to her and offered to walk her home. Her nervous arm trembled as it hooked with his strong muscular bicep and yet this felt perfect, like a brush with destiny.

Merlin looked on from the Castle balcony. He wiped his streaming tears and smiled despite his heartache knowing that he had done the right thing. Guinevere was never meant to be his. Guinevere was meant to be queen…

xXx

Merlin lay back upon the cold hard floor of his prison cell. The sky was becoming lighter and he would be dead soon, DEAD after everything he sacrificed for Arthur and Camelot. Morgana use to be protective of Gwen but now she only sought to destroy her. The sands of time had changed so much. Gwen's closest friend was now her greatest enemy. After Morgana failed to rip Arthur and Gwen asunder by means of the shade she forged a new course of vengeance. She disguised herself as an old woman, a servant, and said she found the letter in the queen's drawer. It wasn't dated. Arthur had no way of knowing that his wife was not a cheater, and that his best friend was not a traitorous scoundrel. Merlin snapped to attention at the clang of the gates. It was time…

Thanks for reading!

~Kink~