"But-ter knife. Say it, Rosa. Buh-tur-kni-fuh." Veneziano coaxed, staring intently into his daughter's eyes.
"Buhbuh!" Rosa squealed, giggling and clapping her tiny hands together excitedly.
Veneziano hung his head. "No..." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "She doesn't seem to be getting it all!" He groaned as Henry knelt beside him.
"Maybe it's because not all babies care about butter knives?" Henry said with a laugh. "You have to appeal to them. For example: Rosa, can you say Boobs? Boo-buh-s?" He asked, watching as the infants bright green eyes widened.
"Boo Buh! Boo Buh!" Rosa exclaimed.
"Holy crap! She said Boob!" Veneziano cried. "How'd you do it?" He demanded, whirling around to face Henry, who shrugged in response.
"Infants need nourishment, often found in breastmilk. Even in Rosa's case, where she's fed formula, the bottle is still designed to resemble the nipple. Breasts are very important for babies." He assured.
"Ohhhh... I get it." Veneziano said, turning to face Rosa again. "Rosy, can you say Blood? Bluh-duh?" He asked sweetly. Henry stared at him appallingly.
"How does THAT connect to infants?!" He cried. Now it was Veneziano who gave the "My-God-You're-Stupid" look.
"When babies are born, there is a LOT of blood, right? And they have blood in their bodies. Nice, warm, delectable, savory, tasty blood..." Veneziano trailed off.
"Veneziano? Hey, can you hear me? Snap out of it!" Henry snapped his fingers in front of his partner's eyes, bringing him back to reality.
"Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, blood. Can you say it, Rosa? Bluh-Duh?" Veneziano asked.
"Buh Buh!" Rosa said happily, beaming at her dad and waving her tiny fists in the air enthusiastically.
"No, that's not right, either." Veneziano sighed again. "Your turn." He grumbled.
"Can you say titty? Tee-tee?" Henry asked. Veneziano rolled his eyes, but stopped and gasped in shock as Rosa exclaimed "Tee tee! Tee tee!" To which Henry praised her with compliments such a"Good job, Rosa!" and "What a smart girl!" Earning him squeals of delight from their daughter.
"You're going to turn her into some kind of pervert." Veneziano whined.
"I will NOT. She's just going to know a lot about the female body. Especially the interesting parts." Henry said defensively, a dreamy look on his face. "The oh-so interesting parts..." Earning him a light smack on the head from Veneziano, who decided he'd try one last time to get Rosa to speak.
"Okay, Rosa... How about... Murder? Muhr-duhr?" Veneziano offered, his heart sinking as he was met with a blank stare from Rosa. "No?" He sighed and turned away.
"Mu...muh duh! Muh duh!" Rosa said excitedly. Veneziano whipped his head around, smiled and nodded encouragingly. "Muh duh! Muh duh!" Rosa yelled.
"And, just like that, you've started her down the path of a psycho." Henry chuckled, shaking his head.
"Better than being a pervert." Veneziano retorted sharply.
"Not really." Henry smirked and laughed.
"Oh, shut up." Veneziano muttered, twisting his butter knife in his hands as he stared absent-mindedly at the floor. A moment later he felt Henry wrap his arms around him.
"Great work today, baby-daddy." He said, smiling softly as Veneziano turned around slowly and looked up at him.
"You too." He said. He looked down as he felt his face flush, only to have Henry tilt his face back up, their lips inches away. Veneziano could feel his warmth at this distance, could smell his sweet breath. It was so...
Henry.
Just as their lips were about to meet, Rosa let out another high-pitched squeal, and they jumped apart, startled. /One of these days,/ Veneziano swore silently to himself as he scooped Rosa up off the floor and headed to the kitchen to feed her, /I WILL kiss him. One of these days./
As Veneziano left the room, Henry stood motionless for a moment before remembering how to breathe. He touched his lips and found himself struggling to form words. "One of these days." he whispered softly.