"Lestrade, is this even worth my time? Honestly if it wasn't for the prospect of picking up some fresh fingers when I am here I wouldn't have even have bothered to come" Sherlock muttered as he stripped off his gloves and scarf. A half step behind, John Watson shook his head minutely and tried to stifle a smug cough. He knew that Sherlock was so insufferably bored that he practically dragged the doctor out to catch a cab as soon as he received the text from Lestrade. But Sherlock Holmes was damned if he was going to let on to the the DI that he needed this distraction today.

The trio rounded the last corner before reaching the morgue and almost collided with a blushing Molly Hooper, causing her to drop her clipboard. "Oh hello! I was just stepping out to freshen up a bit. I umm, didn't think you were all still coming to see the body since other arrangements had been made."

"What other arrangements?" Asked the DI, crossing his arms and squinting his eyes.

"Well, the two gentlemen from Cardiff came to collect the body. All the paperwork was in order and they're really quite, umm, nice."

It did not take the expert observational skills of the world's only consulting detective to see the blush rise again fresh in the young woman's cheeks. John had picked up the clipboard for the stuttering pathologist. He glanced at the paperwork then did a double take.

"Torchwood? Where have I heard that name before?"

The word had barely left the doctor's lips before the other two men each swept into motion. Sherlock's eyes lit up in that distinct "Oh! It's Christmas!" way that they sometimes do. He grabbed the clipboard from John's grasp as if he needed to see it himself to know it was real. He flipped through eagerly, another excited gasp rising in a breathless whisper "Harkness!"

The clipboard was hurriedly thrust back at a stunned John. Sherlock was running down the hallway, leaving a very confused Molly and Watson in his wake. However, he was several steps behind Lestrade. And DI Greg Lestrade was charging the door of the morgue with his gun drawn and a deathly grim look.

Trusting Lestrade's lead, John drew his gun and followed, hurriedly motioning to Molly to get back. When he entered the morgue he found Greg barking orders at two men who were almost out the back door to the loading bay with a body bag on a stretcher.

"Get your hands up and keep them there! You so much as breath the wrong way and I will shoot first and ask questions later!"

Sherlock stood on the periphery. John saw Sherlock's sharp silver gaze flickering between gathering information on the two newcomers and trying to surmise what had gotten into the normally cool and professional DI. Just as he was about to start shooting off questions and deductions, Lestrade cut him off.

"Sherlock you'll get your chance but for right now get over there and search them for weapons. John, cover them while I cuff them, and don't hesitate to pull the trigger."

Sherlock was left with his mouth gaping open, the tumble of words stuck in his throat. He was not a man that was used to getting upstaged. But a moment later he was eagerly rifling through their pockets.

John dutifully followed orders (Greg's tone left little room for disagreement) but he did venture to question "Right. Ok. Greg, why are we concerned about the funeral home workers being armed?" But a few moments later, an arsenal consisting of two guns(one that looked like a serviceable antique, the other a cutting edge automatic with all the bells and whistles and then some), one taser, and two cans of what appeared to be black-market mace were clattering onto one of the metal exam tables. All John could muster was "Oh. Okay, not morticians then."

"Torchwood, John!" Sherlock interjected, his eyes flashing to meet John's briefly before going back to his examination of the weapons and other items that he pulled off the duo. John did a double-take at his flatmate and had the distinct thought that this must be what Sherlock looks like high. Everything about him was alight and hyper-stimulated.

The older of the two men, the one with the long coat and the air of authority about him, was making a good attempt to fast-talk Lestrade, but he made no move to interrupt the cuffing. He did, though, noticeably bristle when Lestrade took the precaution of removing the leather-wrapped electronic device from his right wrist.

"Listen officer, I think I can clear up this misunderstanding. If you just call the number that is speed dial #3 on my phone. The nice man on the other end should give you the necessary clearance to allow us to go on our way with our friend in the body bag there."

"First of all, it's Detective Inspector, not officer. Secondly, I don't give a goddamn if it was the queen herself on the other end of that line. You and I are going to have a chat and I am going to get some answers. We'll get to your interest in the dead gentleman in question at some point but I have bigger fish to fry. We're going to start with you telling me what the HELL Torchwood is doing back in London. You're coming with us back to the Yard and you are-" Lestrade was really on a roll when Sherlock interrupted him with what could only be described as a roaring growl.

The DI and the doctor turned to see the consulting detective scowling hard the the man's mobile screen.

"It may as well be the bloody queen. Lestrade we won't have time to get to the Yard. If you want your answers we better to this here. The powers that be may sweep in at any moment." Sherlock explained through clenched teeth as he motioned to the two security cameras in the morgue. He then held up the screen to Lestrade and John. There they both saw the contents of speed dial #3: the initials MH, followed by a number all three of them immediately recognized as the owner's not-highly-publicized direct line.

Author's Note:

So I am back to writing fan fiction! This idea is just one of many I have been harboring for a while. Janto has long since been my muse. They may or may not inspire this caper to turn in the direction of Johnlock. Not sure yet how it will all play out. Mostly I just want to get all my favorite people together to play. Thanks for reading and reviews/questions/comments are always GREATLY appreciated.