Disclaimer: Don't own Fate/Zero. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction and this wonderful pairing would be canon.

DECIDED TO TURN THIS MULTICHAPTER BECAUSE OF YAOI WRITING CRISIS.

THIS STORY CONTAINS YAOI GOODNESS. NO LIKE, NO READ. GO BACK TO SAFETY AND DON'T FLAME THE AUTHOR. FLAMES WILL BE USED TO FEED PET DRAGONS.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: LANGUAGE, DISTURBING MENTALITY, WAVER GOING MAD XDDD

So let's get cookin'!

Chapter 1: In Your Thoughts

Mongrels, every single one of them. They deserve to die.

Waver Velvet shook his head. Thoughts like that kept appearing from time to time since the day he returned from Japan and resumed his studies in the London Clock Tower. They definitely weren't his, he didn't care enough to think something like that, and it wasn't even his voice that resounded in his mind, whispering twisted ideas, presenting him with images of blood, of tangled bodies of both his classmates and professors, of Gerard von Weinberg, that ass-kissing rat, kneeling before him, begging for mercy. The last one held some appeal to him, he was able to admit that, but the others… Whatever was happening to him, he couldn't let it slide for much longer. He had reserved an appointment with Linneyth de Cipher, an exceptionally talented mythomagos whose ability to read minds and understand human psyche got her unofficial job as the school psychiatrist. If his problem was of magical origin, she'll be able to solve it and help him get rid of this unwanted second self.

Please, as if you or that sorry excuse of a mythomagos could get rid of me. I'll stay here until I deem it fit to leave your alone, mongrel.

The worst thing was, Waver was sure he had heard the voice somewhere. Somewhere he didn't want to return, in his memories or otherwise.

In the Holy Grail War.

"Waver Velvet! Please pay attention to class, otherwise I'll have to tell Professor Hatiche that you skipping a year and becoming a novice shogun was a mistake on my part."

"Yes, Professor Blofis. I'm sorry." Waver opened his book and started reading the topic of today's lesson: Oda Nobunaga's Risky Strategy – Usage of Demons in Battle[1].

Tch. He would look a lot better impaled on a spear or something.

Oh, just shut up, will you?

And surprisingly he heard nothing for the next three hours.

[PretendthisisalineorIwillsendCasterafteryou]

Linneyth de Cipher wasn't very happy.

She had forgotten to turn on her alarm clock, which was responsible for her running late for her first class of the day. Unfortunately, she had Weapons Battle Magic. And everyone knew that Professor Ghambe, almost two-and-a-half metre tall, blind African warlock nicknamed Great Gatsby, had a habit of turning latecomers into living training figurines. When the lesson ended, she had few nicely blue spots on the whole length of her arm and she couldn't feel her leg.

Then she looked into her diary and found out that one Waver Velvet has asked her for help today. She was supposed to be in the Cyclops Hall at four.

Great. No time to do my homework again. Professor Hatiche's gonna kill me.

She saw her best friend in the group of people standing in front of the mess hall door and immediately turned her steps towards him, calling at the same time.

"Hey, Wolwie!" Logan, for obvious reasons nicknamed Wolwie, was a blue-eyed Irish ginger working with Linneyth as a duo, helping both students and professors with their problems, but unlike the younger girl, pale, also redheaded, with few kilos extra and the biggest breasts in the whole class, he was about five feet tall, thin, almost skinny, and very tanned.

"Linne. How's the day." He talked in a creepy monotone, probably learned from Professor Sohma, their Religion teacher.

"Oh, shut up. As if ya don't 'now. We were studyin' together yesterday, an' ya knew I've got Great Gatsby first thing in the mornin', and ya still didn't tell me ta turn on my damn alarm clock!"

The group burst into laughter.

"Stop laughin' at other's misfortun'!"

"But it's so damn funny!" Federico, tall, chubby Italian with short black ponytail howled.

"You should've seen your face when you fell through the door and started apologizing like a mushroom[2]." Zoey, an Egyptian blonde with liquorice coloured eyes added sarcastically.

"MUSHROOMS DON'T APOLOGIZE!" everyone yelled in unison, successfully pulling a scene like out of an anime, complete with sweatdrops and embarrassed faces.

"Right, right. I've got Sultan next, and I'd rather not spend my weekend mixing potions for silk colouring, so I'm going." Zoey grabbed her books and walked away, Federico right behind her like a puppy. Linneyth never understood how Z couldn't see the poor pasta-lover's feelings, but didn't play matchmaker out of solidarity. That could end up badly.

"Hurry up, Linne! Lunch won't wait."

"Comin'!"

[PretendthisisalineorIwillsendCasterafteryou]

Waver stood before the giant two-winged door leading to the Cyclops Hall, the hall of soothsayers and fortunetelling. He was nervous, his face in danger of reddening, his ears long since red like a tomato. It was five minutes after four.

She's late.

Maybe she knows better than to go against me.

I didn't ask you anything.

If I spoke only when asked, I wouldn't be speaking at all.

Figures.

The mongrel's still late.

As I said, nobody asked you anything.

Here she comes. Farewell for now, mongrel.

Hey, don't call me-

"'Scuse me, are ya Waver Velvet?"

Waver quickly composed himself and turned around to meet the therapist.

He was met with the sight of a pale girl not much older than himself with short red mikado and intelligent, sparkling greyish-blue eyes. She was dressed in long black dress with long sleeves and a collar. She had few kilos extra, but still could be considered quite pretty. And she was holding a half-eaten bar of chocolate.

"Yes, that's me. You're Linneyth de Cipher, right?"

"Yepp. 'kay, now we 'now who we are. So let's get cookin'!"

"Cooking?"

"Like workin'. I wanna 'now when exactly did ya start hearin' 'at voice, if ya have any ideas why or how could it be happenin', and whose voice it is, 'cause I think it's not yers. After 'at I'm gonna look into yer mind and try ta find it an' kick it out. But first things first, go sit somewhere. 'is is gonna be a long process."

Hell is going to freeze over before that she-mongrel can 'kick me out'.

Fuck you.

You wish.

-PERI-PERI-PERI-PERI-PERI-

Hiya, Hawk's landin'.

Officially fulfilled my ff-author's dream: Created my own OC's that AREN'T Mary-Sues and made up a whole school full of hierarchy, students, professors and classes. I did that because in the Fate series, the Clock Tower isn't described in any way, so I just made it up. Also, this was originally supposed to be a one-shot yaoi, but due to my writer's block I can't write smut right now, so I decided to do a multichapter. Hope I didn't mess up on Linne's way of speech, she's just kinda mixing up slang, polite speech and my own misspelled words from my English lessons. So no, it isn't supposed to be an accent of any kind. It's something like the –dawa used by Falco in Air Gear OVAs or Naruto's dattebayo.

1: This is a joke of sorts, based on the Inuyasha fanfic Descent into Darkness. Read it, it's great. Forgot the author though.

2: Taken directly from Kuroko no Basket, where one of the Too players gets nicknamed "Apologizing Mushroom". He really apologizes every damn time he takes a shot, it's very funny.

And of course everyone knows who's creeping around in poor Waver's head. If someone doesn't, read the chapter once again. I think it's obvious enough.

REVIEW, PLEASE.

Hawk's takin'off.