II

Chapter seventeen: Only love can hurt like this / heal like this

Snow

II

Snow wakes to a horrible sensation that something is wrong, almost crying out into the silence. For a moment, the panic, the sheer no no no that screams in her mind seems to drown out everything else.

Then slowly she becomes aware of the warm body next to her, an arm across her stomach and soft breathing across her skin. Charming. Her Charming, her husband, her beloved of two realms, asleep next to her as every other morning. (Except the mornings where he wakes up first and his wonderful hands and soft kisses are what wakes her.) That is right. That is as it should be.

What could be wrong?

She breathes, fighting off the panic and trying to calm herself. It only partly works, and the strong sense of something wrong lingers. Of course, in some ways this very world is wrong, torn asunder and forcing the survivors to live in the rubble. But that isn't the source of her current emotion, she's pretty sure.

Did she have some vague nightmare that she cannot remember, but left her with the emotions from it? Maybe. She's had many nightmares over the last few years. Mary Margaret had many – of the night the world ended, of Graham's death, of losing David, of losing Emma, of death, death, death. And after she remembered, the nightmares didn't stop. They just adapted, now being of losing Charming, of losing Emma again, of loss, loss, loss.

She breathes, and feels Charming pull her closer and press a kiss into her hair.

"What's wrong?" he murmurs sleepily. She turns her head, seeing him regard her with worry through half-closed eyelids. He looks half asleep still, but apparently still awake enough to pick up on her emotions.

"I don't know," she says honestly, and his hand moves to caress her neck. "I just feel like something is."

He nods softly, then leans forward to kiss her reassuringly and lovingly, and she sighs into it.

"This is right," he murmurs against her lips. "You and Emma."

Emma, she thinks, the sense of something being wrong returning tenfold. They were going to have a family day with Emma, and she's always been awake early for that. Always.

Not this morning.

She pulls away from Charming, putting a hand on his chest as he blinks in confusion.

"Where is Emma?" she asks, and his eyes widen, remembering as she did what day today was. Moments later they're both out of bed and striding towards Emma's room, hands firmly clasped.

The room is empty. There is no Emma, only a small, scribbled note on her night stand that makes Snow's heart fall even further.

No. No no no.

Charming sees it too, and she can see his shoulders fall as he reaches for it and reads aloud with a voice that almost trembles.

I'm going to Boston with Owen. I'm sorry for sneaking out, but I know you wouldn't let me go alone. We'll be back as soon as we can.

I love you.

Emma.

Snow closes her eyes, barely managing to stay on her feet with the sudden sharp pain that seems to pierce her heart. Emma. Emma is... Emma.

Their daughter has run away from home. Temporarily, but still run away.

Charming pulls her into a hug, murmuring reassurances that their daughter can look after herself, that Emma will be safe, though she suspect the reassurances are as much for himself as her. He knows as well as she does that this isn't a world with happy endings. They've tried to keep Emma safe their whole lives, and to know now that she's out there without them...

No. They can't just trust that she'll get home safely. They do trust her, it's not that, it's just...

They're her parents.

Snow fights back the fear, lifting her head to look up at Charming. "We have to follow her."

"Snow," he says, and the pain in his voice cuts into her too. "You know I want to charge after her as much as you do. But I don't know if we can."

"The curse," she says, realization dawning. Emma hasn't broken the curse yet, and doesn't even know she's the Savior to break it or that there even is a curse. They had agreed to only tell her when she was 18, to not put that burden on her while she was still growing up. To give her the best childhood they could.

"The curse," Charming agrees sadly, and she balls her fists against his chest. No. No, the curse won't keep her from her daughter. No. "Rumple said none of us could leave until the curse was broken."

"I remember," she says, even as she shakes her head at it. "But if anyone knows a way around that, he will."

"Yeah," Charming agrees, nodding at her with the unspoken agreement that any deal that can make their daughter safe will be worth it.

II

Rumple opens the door on their fifth knock, and looks ready to make one of his little remarks until he looks at their faces. Then he simply lets them in without comment, and says nothing at all while Charming explains Emma's note and disappearance.

Something seems to glint in his eyes though, Snow notices, but what exactly, she isn't sure. Anger? Curiosity? Fear? Or is he perhaps pleased? She isn't sure.

"We have to follow her," Charming finishes with.

"Your daughter is extremely capable," Rumple remarks calmly. "I've seen what you've raised her to be, a fighter and a future ruler."

"But she's our daughter," Snow says, almost choking on the words. Charming squeezes her hand reassuringly.

"Children," Rumple remarks, but far less flippantly than before. "Hard to let them go, isn't it?"

Yes, Snow thinks painfully. They've had 17 years with Emma, 10 as David and Mary Margaret and 7 as Snow and Charming, and it's still not enough. Not nearly.

"We need to follow her," Charming repeats, and Rumple looks at him with something that almost seems like sympathy. Then it's gone.

"You can't, dearie," Rumple says. "Owen and Emma are able to leave because they weren't cursed. They came to Storybrooke afterwards. We can't leave. We're still cursed."

"There must be a way," Snow says, the desperation in her voice sharp even to her own ears.

"If there was, I would have taken it," Rumple says, and there is a strange intensity in his voice that makes her believe him. "Until the curse is broken, we are stuck here. If you try to leave..."

"If we try to leave, then what?" Charming demands. "You don't know, do you? You haven't tried."

"No, I have not," Rumple says calmly. "I know the price of magic. I'm not a brave fool. Best case scenario, you only lose your memories of your true self and is cursed anew."

"I don't care," Charming declares, and Snow swallows. "I will gladly be David Nolan again for a decade if it gets Emma back to us."

She would give up her memories to have Emma returned too, Snow knows, but her heart aches with the possibility of losing Charming. Even if she will still have David Nolan, to be Snow without Charming... She would miss him desperately.

Rumple sighs. "I suspect I cannot talk you out of trying. But there is another way, though I suspect it will demand another kind of bravery from the Charmings."

"What is it?" Snow demands, leaping at the possibility. If she can keep Charming safe and Emma safe, she would gladly face all the dragons of the world.

"We cannot leave," Rumple says. "But there is someone who can. The one who cast the curse."

"Regina," Snow says, her heart sinking.

"Regina," Rumple agrees.

II

"Charming..." she says the moment they enter their house.

"No," he says flatly.

"Charming..."

"No!" he exclaims, his anger not really directed at her, she knows. She's seen the tension in his shoulder ever since they left Rumple's place, and returning to their own Emma-less place hasn't eased that.

She, on the other hand, feels strangely afloat, having already made her decision. She thinks she made it the moment they left, and she pocketed Rumple's duck-tape with the former noticing and Charming not.

Rumple just seemed amused. Charming won't be.

"Charming," she says again, taking his hand and he finally looks at her. His blue eyes are almost dark with pain and fear, and her heart breaks for him.

"Snow," he says brokenly, and she pulls him into an embrace. "I can't trust Regina with our daughter, I can't... I can't... I have to protect her. I'm her father, Snow. I can't..."

"Shh," she murmurs soothingly. She runs her hands up and down his back, feeling his pain as her own – and of course, it is a mirror of it.

Trust Regina to bring Emma home to them? Can they really do that, knowing all the Evil Queen did to ruin their lives? Even if Regina seems to love Owen and would want him home, can they trust her with Emma?

"I'm crossing the town line," Charming says defiantly, and she swallows. Of course he will try that first. Of course. He is Charming, her brave, brave Charming that would never let his family suffer anything if he could sacrifice himself to avoid it. "We have to try it."

"I love you," she says softly, gently pushing him to sit down on a kitchen chair and then straddles him. He looks up at her, face bright with determination and love, and she leans down to kiss him. She tries to will all her love into it, caressing his lips with her own as tenderly as she can.

He leans into it, moaning softly when she parts her lips. He seems happily intent on exploring her mouth, and it gives her the distraction she needs to lock his hands against the back of the chair. With nimble fingers, she's tied him to the chair with the duck-tape before he has time to object or even realize.

She can hear the noises of protest he's making into the kiss, and he's fidgeting underneath her, but she has him caught, she knows.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs against his lips, then pulls back and cradles his head in her hands. "I can't let you cross the town line."

"Snow..." he begins, clearly about to explain why it's worth the risk and she smiles lovingly at him, pressing a thumb against his lips. Yes, it's worth the risk. But he won't be the one to take it.

This time it's her turn.

"I'm going to cross it," she tells him, and his eyes widen in fear.

"No," he protests, but she silences him with a kiss, drawing her thumbs across his cheek.

"I love you," she says again, and steals one last kiss before hurriedly getting off him and reaching for her bow. She doesn't dare look at him, but she can hear his voice follow her as she hurries outside.

"Snow! Snow! Don't you dare... SNOW! SNOOOOOOOOW!"

The pain in his voice kills her a little, but she doesn't look back. She'll keep her daughter and her husband both safe. Even if it kills her.

II

What separates Storybrooke from the rest of the world doesn't look like a line at all, marked merely by a sign with "Leaving Storybrooke". The sign is faded by now, looking as derelict as the town does.

It still gives her pause.

They've never been beyond this. After they remembered, both she and Charming made sure that their small community thought it too dangerous to cross, but even before that, no one seemed to ever really consider leaving Storybrooke an option.

Except Emma. Their adventurous, brave daughter. Why Emma would choose to leave, Snow isn't quite sure. But she has some ideas. She has noticed the restlessness in their daughter the last few years, the spirit of adventure. Oh yes. She has seen herself and Charming in their beloved daughter, more and more with every passing year.

It is the most wonderful and yet most hardest thing in the world, to see your children grow up, she thinks and smiles faintly. Emma. Their wonderful, beautiful Emma. They gave Emma the best chance they could once, and that's still what they're trying to do.

That means taking a few risks to know what their options are.

Right.

She clutches her bow closer and takes a step forwards the town line, then another. And another.

"Snow!"

She closes her eyes. Charming. Of course. She knew she wouldn't have much time, but it appears she had even less than she figured.

She turns around to see her husband coming at full sprint, part of the duck tape still tied to one of his wrists. An impressive sight, she has to admit, smiling faintly.

"Snow!" he calls again, his voice wild. "Don't do this, don't..."

"You would have," she tells him, and she has no defence against that. Of course he would have. He was about to. "For Emma."

With that, she turns around and takes another step. Another, and she's by the town line. She just needs one more step to cross it, to...

The ground shakes. Distantly, she hears a roar, angry and pained, and then the ground seems to vanish beneath her and she's falling, falling... Not falling.

A strong arm grips hers, and she blinks and stares upwards. The ground has opened up underneath her, but Charming has dived for her and managed to catch her hand in his as she fell.

"Snow," he pants, clutching her hand desperately. With a groan, he begins pulling her upwards, and she helps as best she can, managing to lift her other hand to grasp hold of him as well.

Up, up, and up, and then, with a final pull, she's yanked upwards and falls on top of him on the ground.

He hugs her to him, holding her so fiercely she can barely breathe. She clings to him as well, breathing in his scent. A deep gash has opened in the ground at the town line, she notices, as if by magic. It almost swallowed her.

"Snow," he says, and then he's kissing her angrily, passionately, fiercely, and she meets it with vigour. She's dimly aware of him managing to stumble them both onto their feet, his body seeming to envelop hers as they keep kissing.

He finally lets out a shuddering breath and breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead against hers. He's still angry with her, she knows. But he also knows very well why she did it, and that he would have done the same in a heartbeat.

"How did you get loose?" she murmurs.

"Broke the chair," he says, and she makes a note not to tie him to a chair next time (if there is one – knowing them, there might be). "I guess Rumple was right. We can't cross the town line."

She nods reluctantly, glancing over at the deep gash in the ground. That didn't happen by chance, they both know.

They can't cross the town line.

That leaves one option.

II

Regina has been crying, Snow notices with a start as Regina opens the door on the very first knock, her face falling the moment she sees them.

Oh. She must have opened it was Owen returned, Snow realizes, and feels an ache of sympathy.

"What do you want," Regina says flatly. It's a demand more than a question.

"We need to talk, Regina," Charming says relatively calmly, and Snow knows how much that costs him.

Regina seems to bite back an angry reply, then leaves the door open and stalks inside. Charming gives Snow a look, then they follow and close the door behind them.

"I know Owen left for Boston," Snow says, and Regina looks up sharply.

"And you're here to what? Give me parenting advice?" Regina spits out.

"No," Snow say softly. "You've raised him well, Regina. You've been a true mother to him."

Regina stares at her, then slumps into a chair and looks close to tears. On the table, there is a note, Snow notices. Probably Owen's note to who is essentially his mother now, just like Emma left a note for them.

"Emma went with him," Charming says after a moment, and Regina looks up sharply.

"Emma?"

"Yes," Snow says. She swallows. "Regina, can you follow them to Boston and bring them both safely home?"

Regina looks at them curiously. "Why ask me?"

"Because we can't," Charming says, and he can't quite keep the bitterness out of his voice. "Due to your curse."

Regina stares at him and Charming meets her gaze calmly. "You remember."

"Yes," Snow replies, and Regina shifts her gaze to look at Snow. "Hello, Regina."

"Snow," Regina says, her voice carefully even. "How long have you remembered?"

"Seven years," Snow replies, and Regina blinks. "Emma woke us."

"True love's kiss," Regina says darkly. "Seven years? You've left me alone for seven years?"

"We're not you," Charming says hotly, then takes a calming breath when Snow squeezes his hand. "Regina, we don't want revenge. We just want our daughter home and safe."

"And you trust me to do it?" Regina asks, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Charming says honestly. "But Snow does, and I trust her."

Regina looks at Snow, and Snow lifts her head and tries to look confident.

"You don't," Regina says after a moment. "But you want to."

Snow takes a deep breath. "I want to. Regina, this world can't have been what you wanted when you cast the curse."

"I wanted a world where you suffered," Regina says, and Snow can hear Charming make an angry noise, but pays it no heed.

"I suffered," Snow says mildly. "Did that make you happy, Regina?"

Regina gives nothing away, but that in itself is fairly telling, Snow reckons.

"Emma will break the curse," Charming says, and Regina shifts her attention to him. "You know she's the Savior. This world ended, but our own is still there. We can find a way home after the curse is broken, and you can make a home for yourself and Owen."

"I am to believe you would let me live in peace after all I've done?" Regina asks, but Charming doesn't even flinch.

"You know how much I love Snow," he says softly. "For her? For Emma? Yes. I would let you live in peace."

Regina seems to consider his words for a while, then nods.

"I will get Emma and Owen home," she says.

II

They help Regina pack, give her a few weapons and plenty of food, one of the cars that still work and a lot of their petrol reserve, and follow her all the way to the town line to see her drive off.

Nothing happens as she crosses the line, her car speeding off until it's swallowed by the horizon and is gone.

Then there is nothing else they can do, and they return home. Snow sees the broken remains of the chair on the floor the moment they enter their house, wincing at the sight of it. She can well imagine the force Charming must have used to break it like that, and the bruises he probably gave himself in the process.

"Come," she tells him softly, and pulls him into their bedroom. He follows her, looking quite desolate, and she knows for all strength, he's hurting from the knowledge that he can't be the one to follow his daughter. He probably feels like he's failed as a father.

Just like she feels like she's failed as a mother.

Charming sighs as she makes him sit down on the bed, obediently lifting his arms as she pulls his jacket and then shirt off. He has bruises, just as she suspected, and she winces at the sight of them. Gently, she trails kisses along them, the visible symbols that she did hurt him today.

She is sorry for that, but she would do it again.

He closes her eyes at her caresses, resting his head against her chest. "I don't know if I can do this."

"What?" she murmurs, kissing his temple and running her fingers softly through his hair.

"Just wait," he says, and she smiles sadly. He's always been one for actions, Charming. It's always been one of the things she's loved about him.

"We won't just wait," she tells him. "We'll trust our daughter. We'll have faith. She'll find us, Charming. She'll find her way home."

He lifts his head to look at her, then nods slowly. Gently, she leans forward and kisses him; soon enough she's pinned under his body and he's kissing her hard and caressing her softly, together finding what comfort they can in bodies and skin.

She hurt him today, Snow knows. He's just also so very loved by her, and he knows that. The wounds will heal.

And Emma, Emma has hurt them today. She probably knows that. They won't love her less for that, but the love is what makes it hurt that much in the first place. It's also what makes it possible to get over it.

Maybe Owen will be enough for Regina to get over all her pain too. That's what they're trusting. Love.

Love hurts and heals both, she thinks, the last thought before Charming's hands and kisses and body drive all thoughts from her head and leave only sensations.