MY HEART IS BROKEN

Chapter 12

A rather domestic routine developed over the next couple of days.

Henry went to school, Emma to work and Regina did the cooking.

They would play a board game or watch a movie before they would go to bed, they took Balto for walks together most of the time and Emma would sleep on the floor next to the bed, waking up Regina whenever the nightmares started to torment her. And they did on a regular basis.

It wasn't ideal, but it was something.

But of course, Emma was well aware that Regina wouldn't stay forever, couldn't stay forever and with the knowledge came the pressure.

She would need to make a decision whether to return to Storybrooke or not eventually. It wasn't that Emma didn't want to, but she wasn't sure that she could.

Henry would love to, without a doubt.

But things with Regina were still tense and fragile and Emma felt like they were going nowhere, both of them walking around on eggshells in an attempt not to spook the other or at least it felt that way.

The one thing that developed naturally and without a hitch was Regina's relationship with Henry.

He made sure to include Regina in all of their activities, hellbent on making the woman feel wanted and welcome and Emma loved him for that.
And he didn't only do it because of Emma either, he did it because he truly cared about Regina and her ex-wife cared for him just as much.

The morning of Henry's birthday a couple of days later was the first time they "broke" their routine because Emma and Regina made breakfast together.

She had never been too fond of cooking, it had always been Regina's forte, but ever since Henry had moved in with Emma she had started to learn the basics and make an effort.

Cooking with Regina now made Emma wish she had found it in her to help her ex-wife in the kitchen back in the day because it would have allowed them more time together.

And Emma vowed right then and there that she would do it differently this time around. In case they would find a way to work things out.

Henry was thrilled to see them standing at the stove next to each other when he entered the kitchen, a smile spreading on his face instantly.

God, he really hoped that Emma and Regina would find their way back to one another because they were meant to be together. Even he could see that and he didn't know them from before.

Regina cleaned the kitchen while Henry and Emma got ready for the day and she a feeling of dread started to spread in her chest because her days in New York were numbered.

She had to go back to Storybrooke eventually because she had a job too.

And she loved being the mayor. She even missed that sleepy little town because despite everything it had become home over the years.

She had agreed to stay for Henry's birthday and she was still here, but what would happen after that? Yes, she could probably stay until the weekend, but then she had to go back.

She had to.

Things between her and Emma were strained and she had no clue how to move forward from this "walking on eggshells" - situation.
It's not that she couldn't work up the courage, it truly was mostly the fact that to this day Regina felt like she didn't deserve a chance. Or Emma's forgiveness.

And what she would never deserve was Emma's love.

How was she supposed to get over those demons? Her demons. The ones who had destroyed so much over the years.

She had absolutely no idea.

And even if she would find a way to get over herself, even if they would be able to work through all of their issues and problems, the questions what then remained.

Because Emma hadn't mentioned Storybrooke with one word. Or that she considered going back.

Would Emma insist on staying in New York?
What would that mean for them?

Regina knew that she should entertain the idea of a compromise, of moving away from Storybrooke, but she couldn't.

Her life was there, the only friend she ever had, other than Emma, was there. She had a job there, a purpose.

But how could she ask Emma to give everything up when she wasn't willing to do the same?

Maybe this whole idea of coming here had been a mistake after all.

Before Regina's thoughts could spiral out of control even more Henry came back into the kitchen and hugged her without warning.

It stopped her downward spiral instantly and Regina couldn't help, but smile.

She wrapped her arms around him as well, breathing in the moment and the solace it provided her with.

"Thank you for breakfast. And for cooking the past few days. You're so awesome", Henry stated with a bright smile and even brighter eyes.

"You're welcome, little prince."

She bent down and kissed his forehead, "Do you want me to pick you up from school today? We could go grocery shopping together."

"Sure. I'd love to. I'll see you later then", Henry's smile grew even wider, "Have a nice day, Regina."

And then he grabbed his jacket and backpack and spotted Emma leaning against the doorframe, "Bye, mom."

He rushed over quickly to hug her before he dashed off, causing Emma to chuckle.

God only knew how she had ended up with a kid that was crazy about going to school, not that she would complain.

She still felt the warmth that had spread in her chest while she had witnessed Henry and Regina interacting like mother and son.

It never ceased to amaze her how much Henry adored Regina and how much Regina seemed to love him as well. As if they had been a family all along.

They could be family, couldn't they?

If Emma had any say in it they definitely would be.

She grabbed her own jacket, ready to leave for the day when Regina stepped closer, "I know now is not the time, but I'd really like to talk to you tonight. Or tomorrow. Whatever works best for you."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, dear", Regina couldn't ignore the worry in Emma's eyes and she wished she hadn't said anything because Emma had seemed so happy only seconds ago, "I just thought we could probably make a little trip with Henry Friday afternoon. To a museum or something."

"You know what? That's a fantastic idea!"

Emma's smile was back in a heartbeat and Regina sighed internally. They needed to have this conversation, but right now she needed to see Emma smile more.

"I packed some lunch for you", Regina blurted out and Emma's eyes went wide in surprise.

Back in the day, Regina had always made sure she took food with her to the station, but she hadn't done that once since she had shown up in New York.

Regina walked over to the kitchen counter and grabbed the food container, holding it out to Emma, "Here. I'm afraid it's healthier than you prefer, but…"

"It doesn't matter", Emma took the few steps over to her former wife, "Thank you."

The warmth in Regina's eye and the genuine smile on her face made Emma remember a life almost forgotten. She wanted that back.

Henry loved Regina. She loved Regina.

They could be a family.

They should be a family.

And before she could think better of it she leaned forward and kissed Regina on the cheek. It was more the corner of her mouth than the cheek really, but Emma missed kissing Regina hello and goodbye.

She missed Regina.

Period.

She missed them.

She missed everything about them.

Even the hardships, the fights.

Regina's eyes were wide in surprise when she pulled back and it dawned on Emma that she probably shouldn't have done that, but everything was so overwhelming and she needed to…

Well, she wasn't sure what she needed, but she wouldn't be able to think in Regina's presence anyway.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking…I…gotta go. Thanks for lunch."

Emma grabbed the food container and hurried out of the apartment after that and Regina cursed herself for letting Emma go without a word once again.

Regina called Ruby once her heart stopped racing, but when Ruby told her that she was at the hospital because Mary Margaret had gone into labour Regina knew she was running out of time.

She would have to go back to Storybrooke sooner rather than later because they needed a new sheriff.

And since she didn't want to pressure Emma into making a decision Regina knew that she would have to return to Storybrooke alone.

The mere thought broke her heart all over again because she wasn't ready to give this up.

Emma and Henry.

It almost felt like they were a family now and she didn't want to go back to her cold and empty mansion, but she was the mayor and the people of Storybrooke counted on her. She was responsible for them too.

Henry was so thrilled to see her and grocery shopping was a lot of fun.

He made her promise that he could help to cook dinner and Regina revelled in his excitement.

She had spent most of the morning cleaning the apartment to keep herself distracted, but the feeling of loss and dread wouldn't go away.

Facing Henry now wasn't an easy task, but she had promised herself not to ruin his birthday and she wouldn't.

Henry asked her to teach him how to play chess and Regina gladly obliged and she remembered how much she had loved to play with her father. Some of her favourite childhood memories were attached to the game.

Emma was late and Regina was irritated.

Why would she be late on Henry's birthday of all days?

Henry didn't seem to mind though and they started to cook dinner eventually while Regina hoped that Emma would at least be home by the time food would be ready.

She was aware that Emma's job came with some perks and lots of disadvantages, ruined schedules being one of them.

But she had expected Emma to be on time today.

Henry received a text a couple of minutes later and he told Regina that Emma would be home in a few minutes. He also told her that he would take Balto for a quick walk before dinner and was gone before she could so much as blink.

Emma was sitting on the park bench, waiting for the arrival of her son, praying that he would come alone because she needed to talk to Henry without Regina.

She had been distracted all day because what had happened in the morning and she hoped that she hadn't done anything to ruin what little progress Regina and she had made over the last days.

She had been so distracted that the guy she had been after had managed to swing a couple of punches her way. She had gotten him anyway, but not without a stop at the hospital afterwards.

Regina would be furious.

"Mom, what happened?"

Henry showed up in her field of vision, worry written all over his face.

"Work", she stated simply and pulled her son into a hug when he was close enough.

"I don't like your new job", Henry admitted, "You always end up getting hurt."

Emma patted the bench next to her, gesturing for Henry to sit down, which he did. Balto stood beside him and watched the people in the park.

"I know, kid. I know. But it was my fault today. I was distracted and…", she took a deep breath, "We don't have much time, so listen…I found a place."

Henry's eyes went wide, "In Storybrooke?"

She nodded, "Are you sure that you want to go, kid?"

"Absolutely. Oh my God, that's so awesome! Best birthday gift ever!", he eyed Emma closely, "We are going, right? You want to go back too, right?"

Emma sighed, "I want to be with Regina."

Henry simply hugged her again, "Then we'll go. We'll make it work."

Regina almost dropped the plate she was holding when she caught sight of Emma.

A bandaged arm, a split lip and a bruised and band-aid covered temple weren't what she had expected to see and the wince that escaped Emma as she tried to smile had Regina's blood boil.

God, she was so angry.

Angry at Emma for going back to her old job. Angry at herself for not being able to convince Emma to come back home.

But the anger had nothing on the worry she felt because the fear that Emma would get herself killed was almost paralysing her.

"We'll talk tonight", Emma said as a peace offering and all Regina could do was nod.
Henry deserved better than the both of them fighting for his birthday.

The peace lasted until the minute Henry went to bed.

Emma knew he had caught up on the tension between her and Regina, but she was glad that they had managed to spend a fun evening with her son anyway.

But as soon as the door to Henry's room closed Regina started pacing the room, "What the hell happened?"

Emma sighed, "Regina, I know we need to talk and I promise you we will, but can we get ready for bed first? I'm exhausted and I wouldn't be opposed to lying down."

She wanted to yell at her, but Regina couldn't deny that Emma was pale and looked worse for wear, so she nodded, "Fine."

Emma was about to take her spot on the floor when Regina returned from the bathroom, "What do you think you are doing?"

"I don't know what your plans are, but I'm going to lie down as I said I would."

Regina sighed heavily, "Bed, Emma. No discussion. You're hurt and there's no way I'll let you sleep on the floor."

Emma froze, "It's not a problem."

"Emma, now!"

She was so close to losing her patience and Regina prayed that Emma wouldn't try to fight her or so God help her, but to her surprise, Emma did get under the covers without another word.

Regina did the same without preamble and a few moments later both of them were lying on their sides, facing each other.

"How many stitches?"

"Five."

Regina cringed, all the while trying to remain calm, "What happened?"

"It was my fault", Emma started, "I was distracted and…listen, it comes with the job. It is what it is. I don't want to talk about that."

"Then what do you want to talk about, Emma?"

Her former wife studied her for a while, apparently struggling for the right words, "I'm sorry for this morning. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I mean I…seeing you with Henry and everything. And you packing up lunch for me. It felt so…so…I just. I got caught up in the moment and I…"

"Mary Margaret had her baby today", Regina blurted out and didn't even know why.

Emma looked at her in surprise, but then it dawned on her what that meant, "You're going back to Storybrooke."

Regina nodded, "I have to. David wants to be with Mary Margaret and their little girl as much as he can and with the shelter and everything…I really need to find someone who will take over the sheriff station. And I am the mayor. We always knew I can't stay here forever because my life isn't here and I promised myself I won't put any pressure on you. I won't. But yes, I have to go home."

Home.

Emma rolled the word over in her head a few times.

She lived in New York, but Storybrooke, yes, Storybrooke was home.

And not just because of Regina, not just because of the people, but because she loved that sleepy little town.

She had been so happy there and she hoped she would be again.

It would take time.

"And you didn't make me uncomfortable. I was surprised, but not in a bad way. I know things between us aren't easy, but I hope we'll find a way to make this, us, work again. Because I do love you, Emma. And even though I don't understand how you could possibly forgive me or love me after everything…God knows I don't deserve it, but…"

"Stop."

It was barely a whisper, but Regina stopped talking anyway.

Emma took her hand and squeezed it, "You deserve to be loved, Regina. You always have. And the past is the past. We both made horrible mistakes, but we've got another chance and I'll be damned if we waste it. I already talked to Henry because I found a place. So if the offer still stands I'd like my old job back."

"What?"

Regina wasn't sure she understood. Or that she had heard correctly for that matter.

"Henry and I are moving to Storybrooke."

Tears started to well in Regina's eyes, "Is this a joke? What place? Ruby and I tried to figure something out for days…"

"Zelena's house", Emma stated with a smile.

"Zelena? That witch has made it abundantly clear that she wouldn't sell that house to anyone", Regina looked outraged which only caused Emma to chuckle and she shrugged, "Well, she is selling to me."

"So, you're really coming back?", Regina needed to hear it again. She couldn't believe it. She just couldn't.

"I'm coming home."

And then Emma moved closer and wrapped her arms around Regina, who couldn't hold the tears back any longer. She held on to Emma for dear life, relief washing over her in waves and for the first time in over two years, the world felt right again.