Camelot was a wealthy kingdom. True, there had been better times but it could be much worse. IT had been much worse. During the first year after King Arthur's death there had been hard times. Most of the knights were dead, civilians who had volunteered to fight at Camlan, too. The few knights left were busy to fight back enemies at the borders. The ones who were once friendly allies with Camelot turned against it. The Queen's only support was Queen Annis, who knew exactly the pain and the pressure the young Queen of Camelot felt. But now the hardest time was over. The borders were relatively safe and there were young knights now who defended the kingdom with all their hearts.

But it was not the same. The man entering the city knew that. He hadn't been here for ten years but he remembered all too well how Camelot had been. It wasn't bad, no, but it was not what it used to be. The people in the streets were at ease but not cheery. They still mourned over their king. He knew that. And he mourned, too. The cloak he wore hid his features and he was grateful for it, for his face would've have betrayed his try not to cry out. He wandered down the streets of the town he once had called home and now felt so strange. He stopped at the tavern 'The Rising Sun' and stepped in. In the times of King Arthur the tavern had been frequented by knights but now the tavern was almost empty. True, its best customer was dead. The man asked for a room and a meal and got both. He sat into a corner and watched the few guests. Mostly there were men who wanted to relax from a hard day's work. But one man caught his eye. He was clad in chainmail but without the trademark Camelot red cloak. The grayish red curls of the man hung into his face and he was hunched over a tankard of mead. The cloaked man felt pain in his chest when he recognized who this pitiable figure was. The once proud, uptight Sir Leon was now a broken man who had a closer relationship to his tankard than to his sword. The man had heard about that but didn't want to believe it. But now he had prove. He watched the knight emptying mug after mug and when he got up to make it back to the castle, the man followed. Sir Leon swayed back more than he walked and was greeted at the gates by two young knights who brought him to his chambers without saying anything. Apparently it was normal to them. The man sighed and stayed in the shadow. What had become of Sir Leon? Not knowing what else to do the man sneaked into the castle. It was ridiculously easy but then, it had always been. At least for him. He couldn't count how many times he had sneaked out and in again. He thought about where to go. There were few possibilities. He made a choice and then went for the walk. He knew the way as if it had been yesterday since he last walked it. But in reality it had been ten years ago. Not long after he stood in the chambers. The chambers of the late king. It looked unused. The Queen had moved to other chambers, apparently. That was a good decision. The man walked around the chambers and his foot got stuck at something. He tripped but managed to stay on his feet. He looked down at the source of his stumble and saw a goblet on the floor. He picked it up. After a few moments of looking at it he put it on the table. Then he made a hasty decision. He needed to show himself to someone. He couldn't just walk around in the castle like this. It hurt. But who? Who would want to see him? Not the Queen, that was for sure. Sir Leon, either. Sir Percival? No. That left only one choice.

The man had asked a guard to show him the way to the court physician. He knew that Gaius had moved his place to stay but he didn't know where. So now he followed the guard. Then they passed a woman in chainmail.

"Stop there", she said. "Who are you?" Her hand was on her sword.

"This man needs the court physician, my lady", the guard explained.

"I'll bring him there." The guard nodded and left. The lady turned to the man and eyed him. She was beautiful in a rough way. Her luscious dark hair was tied into a messy ponytail and her brown eyes were narrow with suspicion. He knew her face. "Who are you and what do you want with the physician?" He also knew her blunt way to speak. The only thing he missed was the cheeky grin.

"You are Sir Gwaine's sister, right", he asked.

"Who are you?" Her hand grabbed her sword. "I'm not asking again."

"I am an old friend", the man answered. "Could you please bring me to the court physician?"

"Camelot has no friends these days", the woman said but she relaxed a little. "Everybody wants to overthrow Queen Guinevere's reign."

"That's not my desire", he assured her.

"Then reveal your face", she demanded. "I want to know who I'm beating into a bloody pulp if you try something odd." He smiled. Yes, she definitely was Gwaine's sister. He pushed down his hood and revealed his black hair, his large ears and his blue eyes. "You are Merlin."

"You know my name?"

"Everyone knows your name. And your face." She now gave up all suspicion. "The Queen speaks lovingly about you."

"Really?" Merlin was surprised. He hadn't thought she would.

"She sent out a search party to find you. Why didn't you come here?"

"I don't like being imprisoned." She snorted.

"God, you are a dimwit! She just wanted you back here in Camelot, you fool!" Gwaine's sister slapped him. "Gosh! Now come with me!" She turned around and began walking down the corridor. Merlin ignored his burning cheek and followed her.

"What's your name", he asked the woman.

"Gwaine never told you?" Merlin shook his head. It still hurt to hear this name. "My name's Morwena. I came here when I heard about 'Sir Gwaine of Camelot' but he happened to be dead already!" She snorted. "Well, I stayed either way. I thought a place that could make Gwaine stay wouldn't be that bad." She laughed. "Turned out it was that bad!" Merlin didn't say anything. He had heard about what happened. Odin had broken the peace treaty instantly. If Annis had not stood beside Gwen then Camelot would've fallen. "Here we are." Morwena interrupted his thoughts. "Don't think that old quack is here right now, though." She knocked on the door. They were now in the west wing of the castle. Merlin heard a female voice answering.

"Come in!" They entered the rooms which were much messier than Gaius old chambers had ever been. There was a girl sitting at a table, pouring the content of a bowl into a vial. "Ah, Lady Morwena. I hope you don't bring someone you punched again? Because Udin isn't here at the moment."

"No, I haven't punched anyone." Morwena rolled his eyes. "Here is someone who wants to see Udin, though." Merlin didn't bother pointing out that he actually wanted to see Gaius. He just stared at the girl. He knew her face as well. Her black her was braided, her piercing blue eyes looked at him. Her cheek bones and her lips, which curled into a familiar smile, were so known to him.

[i]Emrys[/i].

Of course she would know him. Of course a girl who wore the face of a traitor would know who he was.

[i]Emrys, I am not him. Don't judge me by what I didn't do.[/i]

"Are you a druid, too", he asked her out loud. As an answer she showed him the triskelion on her wrist. "Why are you here?" He didn't want her in Camelot. He would've never thought that… Then again, she was right. He shouldn't judge her like that. It wasn't her fault. She was not him. "What's your name?"

"Nettie", she answered. "And you're not searching for Udin, right?"

"No", he confirmed.

"Gaius died a year after I came here", she said with a sad voice. "I think he died on a broken heart." Merlin nodded. If he himself could die he would, too, die on a broken heart. Or lack of a heart. His heart had been shattered to tiny pieces. He hadn't been able to sew it together again. But the girl in front of him also looked heartbroken. As well as Morwena. Though the lady knight didn't show it. She was Gwaine's sister after all. But unlike her younger she didn't seem to hide her true feelings behind a cheery attitude but hardness and anger. Nettie on the other hand had her emotions written on her face.

"Can I stay here for a while", he asked the girl. Nettie nodded.

"Of course, my lord", she answered.

"Thank you."

"I need to report the Queen", Morwena said and turned around. Merlin spun around.

"Don't", he protested. "Don't tell her I'm here!"

"I have to", she said and frowned. "And actually, I wouldn't do you this favour even if I could. You caused her pain by staying away. I don't like that!" With that she wanted to go. But Merlin's eyes flashed gold and Morwena stood still. After a moment she left the room.

"What did you do, Emrys", Nettie asked worriedly.

"I altered her memory", he answered. "She now can't remember me."

"You shouldn't do that", the girl scolded softly. "It's not fair."

"I'm not yet ready to face the Queen. She should accept that."