A/N: I decided to not do a Zack&Aerith lemon one-shot because I hate Aerith/Aeris with a passion, seriously...the chick has two names and she try's to steal Cloud from Tifa when she has ZACK! (Growls then takes a deep breath) anyways this story will be full of random/lemony/funny one-shots! Rated M just to be safe and sorry if I offended you Aerith/Aeris fans...I just don't like her :/
Disclaimer: The lovely Final Fantasy VII and all its characters belongs to SQUARE ENIX.
Rated T: For language and slight lemon ;)
Setting: Seventh Heaven, After ACC and DOC
Characters: Cloud, Tifa, Marlene, Denzel, and Barret
~Being Sly~
Tifa was washing the dishes from breakfast after she had gotten dressed and brushed her teeth. The children were up in their room packing their bags to spend a weekend with Barret, and Cloud was out running deliveries.
Right before the Seventh Heaven, Barret came barging in. His loud feet pounding hard on those poor floorboards. Tifa thought he'd make a good Giant if he started to shout: Fee Fy Fo Thumb I smell the blood of an English Man!
She had to hide a grin at that thought, it actually fit him perfectly since he had the loud voice for it, not to mention that Barret was a pretty big dude.
"Hey Momma! What you been up too!?" Barret greeted Tifa as he sat down on one of the bar stools, it creaked loudly underneath his weight along with the bars countertop when he rested his massive hands over it, Tifa had to hide another grin from that.
"Oh...not much, just the usual!" Tifa lied, things haven't been usual. Now that her and Cloud were secretly together, but they just didn't want to make a big deal about it by telling everyone. Knowing that their friends would never let it go and saying that it was about damn time they got together.
"How about you?" Tifa asked politely as she picked up another dish to dry.
"Great! I've found the biggest damn oil fill you've ever seen!" Barret shouted causing Tifa to jump slightly and close to dropping the dish that she was drying, Barret just didn't know how to keep an inside voice. As Tifa thought about it, she didn't think Barret even had an inside voice!
There was little footsteps at the stairs, both Tifa and Barret looked up to see Marlene and Denzel happily running down them with giddy expressions on their faces, especially Marlene's.
"Papa!" She cried as she ran over to him and jumped in his lap, throwing her little arms around his large neck.
"Hey! Hey! There's my girl! You've been good for Tifa and Spiky?" Barret asked the girl who nodded eagerly, Tifa blushed at the mentioned nickname for Cloud. As if on cue, the door that leads to the garage door swung open and Cloud walked in carrying a package in his arms that seemed extremely heavy, he still had his Goggles on.
"HEY SPIKY! HOW THE HELL ARE YA!?" Barret shouted causing the children to giggle.
"Suffering, this package is so damn heavy..." Cloud replied as he slowly stumbled over to them, Tifa could see the deep creases in his muscles as he gripped onto the package tightly, she knew she was blushing.
"You're home early, Cloud!" She replied forcing her head down on the dishes that she was drying so that nobody would notice the deep red color in her cheeks.
Cloud smirked at Tifa before he dropped the package, that fell right on Barret's foot with a loud thud! Causing Tifa to actually drop the dish she was washing in the dirty sink, and for Barret to hoot and holler loudly. Marlene covered her little ears and Denzel hid behind Cloud startled covering his ears along with Tifa and Cloud.
"OW! DAMN IT! What the fuck was that for? That hurt like a fucker!" Barret hollered before he violently kicked the package off his foot, causing it to roll over on Cloud's.
He grimaced and kicked the package across the bar, cursing under his breath. Marlene pulled her hands off from her ears to look at Barret then Cloud and pointed a finger at them.
"Looks like you two need to put a gil in the swearing jar!"
"But Marlene..." They both started but the girl hushed them and hopped off Barret's lap to sling her bag over her shoulder. They both sighed causing Tifa to laugh.
"Spiky! Why the hell you looking at Tifa like that!?" Barret demeaned as he noticed Cloud was smiling like an idiot towards Tifa, but quickly shook his head and looked back at Barret as if he had just got caught eating a snack before dinner.
"Like what? I-I wasn't gazing into her eyes or anything, I'm not doing anything! I'm just being me! The same old Cloud, well actually I'm not really that old I'm only 24 and still growing well that's actually a lie because I've stopped growing around 16 and I'm 5'7 and that's not really a tall height but I don't really care...wait...what are we talking about again?" Cloud asked chuckling nervously after his rant, Tifa rolled her eyes and the kids giggled.
"I don't know, but I've got two things to say to you." Barret said studying Cloud carefully. "One: You are a weirdo and I'll never understand you. Two: Your hair looks like a chocobo's ass right now!"
"HEY! I like his hair!" Tifa said abruptly, her eyes widening when she realized that she just stood up for Cloud. "Uh...because it's...he uh finally got that new shampoo that makes it extra shiny!"
Cloud raised an eyebrow at Tifa completely not getting that she was trying to back up on her mistake, and his question didn't help at all.
"I did?" He asked stupidly earning himself a hard smack upside the head. "Ow! Yes...yes...I did! Wanna feel it?"
"I'll pass! Come on kids, let's get you two away from this crazy-spiky-headed-loser!" Barret said as he guided the kids to the door.
Cloud flipped him the bird with one of his gloved hands when Barret's back was turned to them, but he quickly dropped it to his side when Denzel turned to face him.
"Cloud's not a loser! He's a hero!"
Cloud smirked. "Thanks Denzel."
Denzel nodded before he followed Barret who huffed at that while helping Marlene with her coat, Cloud slowly walked over to Tifa who singled him to wait by holding a hand up to his face.
Cloud pouted and looked over to see Barret was having a hard time zipping Marlene's jacket.
"Damn jacket!" He shouted.
I agree, hurry the hell up so I can give Tifa a smoochy! Cloud thought to himself as he started to grin like an idiot, Tifa giggled quietly from the expression on Cloud's face as he daydreamed but stopped when he tried to pull her into a hug. Cloud sighed looking over at Barret once more to see he was tieing his boots.
Oh come on! Just tie your boots in the car you big fattie! Cloud yelled at Barret in his mind, his Mako infested eyes glowering at the man from underneath his goggles.
After a few moments which seemed like hours Barret headed out the door with the kids. Cloud looked down at Tifa with a smirk on his face.
"Now?" He asked eagerly wrapping his arms around her slim waist, pulling her closer to him. Tifa giggled as she set the dish on the counter and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Now!"
Cloud crushed his lips against Tifa's almost instantly, moaning loudly as he tasted her mouth. Tifa gracefully kissed him back and tangled her fingers through his messy hair.
Cloud deepened the kiss and pressed Tifa against the counter, he slowly grinded his hips against hers. Tifa pulled away from the kiss gasping loudly for air but Cloud brought his lips to her neck suckling it loudly, Tifa couldn't resist a moan.
"I love you" Cloud muttered against her skin as he trailed his gloved hands down to the button's of her cape, unbuttoning fabrics until he was at her lacy undies which he quickly pulled down before lifting her up on the counter top.
Tifa smirked down at him, removing his goggles for him and watching him unbutton his pants.
"I can tell." She teased as he pulled off his boxers, they both moaned in complete bliss as they became one. "We have to make this quick..." Tifa gasped gripping tightly to his strong shoulders.
"Believe me Teef, you can have me come in three minutes."
A/N: Well my sweets, there is the first one! If any of you have ideas/requests you'd like me to add for the story let me know and please leave me a review ;)