AN: The last chapter! I'll explain why at the bottom, but for now just read and enjoy!
But not before I thank keacdragon, BlazingMistKitzune, The-Wasteland-Renegade, jfss93, Bookworm810, Delin Nobody, Angel of Music 111, E. , Nelxis, Green Nite, doctor bow tie, Miharux3, Myth. , lexisis, sb33terrang, PotterheadWhovian, Bunny Skywalker, PEACEHANDS1352, TheMightyE, mad 4 the doctor, kkoreangold, Accuro, Khodgi01, lucky, Lady Idryl, Zelfina, yesthenLucky9, Amerez, LadyOfTheOtherLake, Beta of all worlds, Vampyrefey, bandgeek216, Jldaniel, Temporarily-Obsessed, BeautifulDarknessQueen, JellyBabes 101, narnia365, Bombidill95, Cosmos89, rmarti540, fearthered moon wings, madacasgarpingu, gandalf53, MorikoKitsune, weepingelm, roxanne92, Crazy person8, pau-ness, zendog, FenirSS, .Riptide, messie23, Astrid Van Wilder, ElenaMaddie, Lolita-Girl-765, jadeb212 and Gur40goku who have all followed, favourited and reviewed my stories, you guys are the best!
Balinor and Merlin stood shoulder to shoulder as the roaring faded to a distant humming and the Golden Dragon sat before them. After what felt like lifetimes of silence, Kilgarrah began to speak. "Mai llosgi eich fflam llachar a pheidiwch byth â lleidau brawd i mi."
With a thick voice Balinor echoed Kilgarrah "Mai llosgi eich fflam llachar a pheidiwch byth â lleidau brawd i mi." Tentatively stepping forward the Dragonlord gently placed his hand on his Dragon's snout. He let out a small sobbing noise before looking Kilgarrah in the eye and saying softly "I had begun to think this day would never come Brother, I thought you would never
call for me and I would spend the rest of my life shackled in darkness with you." Balinor's tone had become anguished and his eyes showed a slight betrayal at having to wait for so long.
Kilgarrah smiled at Balinor, not unlike how had when they had last seen each other and spoke bluntly to him, although it was not unkind. "I am sorry, Brother, that you have suffered like I have; I hoped you could escape our fate and be free, but it appears the fates have not been kind to you. It would not have been good, for either of us, to remain in each others company in the beginning. We were both so full of hate and bitterness… I fear it would not have been wise. I have mourned for you every passing day, as you have been as lost to me as our kin. We have suffered such things Brother, we have suffered more than anyone else at his hands." Balinor just looked pensively at the floor, thinking of the Dragons, their lords, his brothers and sisters, the brothers and sisters that could have been Merlin's too.
"I am also sorry that it has been so long since I sent you away but I have been needed here. The time has begun, a time that I have waited for since a hatchling. The time of Albion draws ever closer, although I'm sure our young warlock had already told you that. " His great golden gaze moved over to Merlin for the first time. They showed a mix of admiration and apprehension.
Snapping out of his melancholy mood, Balinor looked up again with fire in his eyes. "Ah yes, that reminds me. Our young warlock." Removing his hand from Kilgarrah's snout and wrapping it around his boy's shoulders Balinor continued "How long have you known, Brother, that I have a son? And that this son is living in Camelot whilst hiding a daily use of magic, a traitorous knowledge of the Old Religion and an identity of Emrys? And did it ever occur to tell me about my son?"
If he didn't know better, Merlin would've said that Kilgarrah looked sheepish. But he did know better and contrary to popular opinion he didn't have a death wish, so remained silent during their exchange and just smiled slightly, amused at the sight of a somewhat chastised Dragon.
"I apologise Balinor, but it has not been my place to interfere with destiny-" At this Merlin snorted rather loudly "And I have been unable to reach you for a many years, long before the boy came to Camelot. As foolish as Merlin can be, he is not a hatchling Balinor. It has pained me to know that you had been denied the chance to raise your son but it has not been my place to teach Merlin of his heritage. That is your duty and yours alone- I fear I would be a poor substitute."
Merlin's heart was racing. He had never heard Kilgarrah talk like this. He sounded so human. It would be a mistake to think that Dragons felt like humans did but Merlin didn't doubt that Kilgarrah could feel the deepness of their kinship more acutely than most men could. He felt privileged that such a wise and noble being was concerned with his welfare, and not just a destiny that seemed so impossible sometimes Merlin doubted if it would ever come to pass. It was like… gaining a brother, which he reasoned silently, wasn't a bad description of their relationship, or at least their future one.
Balinor however, was deep in thought. His heart beat faster and his chest swelled slightly at the thought that his boy had made such an impression on Kilgarrah; it spoke volumes of his character. Kilgarrah obviously cared in his own way for the boy, or else Balinor wouldn't be able to feel the guilt rolling of the Dragon in waves. And although there was a palpable amount of tension in the air that couldn't be entirely because the Dragon's potential freedom, it looked like the two could become good friends. So, slowly, he nodded and looked his Dragon in the eye again. He smiled quietly and nodded; a sign of forgiveness.
In his deep, rumbling voice Kilgarrah asked "So, Balinor, have you brought what is needed?"
Balinor reached into his robes and brought forth his sword; a beautiful blade marked with ancient Dragon runes that told the story of the first Dragon and his Lord, Balinor's forebear. It was Bryne Fængtóþ; Fire Fang. It was a sword that had seen a thousand battles and had been wielded by the line of Ambrosias since it was burnished by the First Dragon. There was a time when all in the magical world would tell stories of Bryne Fængtóþ; of all the battles it had seen, all the monsters had it slain, all the innocents it had protected. But all things must pass, even legends as great as this swords and fuelled by Uther's Purge, its heroic acts had fallen out of knowledge.
All three of them gazed upon the sword with awe and respect. Merlin took a step closer to the Dragon, before looking him in the eye with a fierce intensity and a strong voice.
"Before I release you, you must swear an oath to me that you shall never attack Camelot or seek vengeance on Uther Pendrag-"
Merlin was cut off by Kilgarrah's anguished roar, reverberating off the cave walls. They had expected a negative response but this… It was pulling at his heartstrings. He was tempted to tell Kilgarrah to forget about it just so he wouldn't have to see such pain and anger on his face. He was growing more distressed by the second and he felt about to fall over in fear.
"QUIET!" demanded Balinor and to Merlin's surprise and relief, Kilgarrah actually stopped snarling and just settled for glaring at Merlin. Dropping his voice to a softer tone Balinor said "We do not ask for anything unreasonable Brother. We just want to keep the people safe."
"Unreasonable? You are asking me to forgive that wretched evil man Balinor! He killed my mate, my children, and their children, all of our kind- not to mention what other evils he has committed. You ask of me something that is impossible; I shall never forgive that man." Kilgarrah snarled and snapped as his voice boomed through the cavern.
"Not forgive, never forgive Brother." Balinor's tone was still soft but darker, more threatening, although both Merlin and Kilgarrah knew who the anger was directed at. "We shall never forgive, and never forget, but it is not our place to dole out punishment to who ever we chose. It is not our place to play God, even with a being as pitiful as Uther Pendragon. And we shall never forget that the people of Camelot are not completely innocent in this. They have stood by and watched a mad old man dictate death to children, and done nothing. They forsook their neighbours and friends to try and save their own hides. But they have suffered under Uther, not like we, Brother, never like we, but they have not come out of this unscathed. And that is why we must save them, for unlike Uther, they can be redeemed. Not today, and not tomorrow, but one day, they will have a choice. They can chose ignorance and cower in darkness and dirt, falling further than any of their forebears. Or they could chose acceptance and flourish and soar higher than even the most foresighted could have dreamed. They will become legends and myths, and their legacy shall outlive Destiny herself. The people of Camelot will one day have to make this choice.
And Arthur Pendragon is amongst them. He is yet to make his choice. He teeters on the brink of the abyss; not lost, but not saved. How is he to choose the path to acceptance if he believes the only acceptance there is is the evils of magic? How can he choose to soar if we do not provide him with the wings to do so?
That is why you cannot do this Brother. I will not pretend- I have spent many a dark night dreaming of hurting Uther, the same way he hurt me, until he can no longer bear it. But I know now that no good would come of it, only evil. If Uther or Camelot is destroyed by our kind, Arthur shall fall, and Albion with him. Grief and rage and twenty one years of lies would blind him and Uther would pale in comparison to his son. The Purge would be a distant memory in our minds as The Once and Future King set out to purge the world of magic. And he would Kilgarrah, he would. He would not stop until he found a way. He would sacrifice anything and everything to make it so."
Kilgarrah was still furious, smoke pouring out of his nostrils, growling every time Balinor mentioned Uther, but as he continued he began to look less murderous and more scared. It chilled the warlock to the bone to see the Dragon scared so and to hear Balinor's vision. But what scared him the most was the knowledge that it was true. Camelot wasn't innocent and they didn't all deserve to be saved, but he would do so for the greater good. And if he had to, he would save Uther again because Merlin was the only one who could see into Arthur's soul and what Balinor described couldn't begin to compare to what the warlock knew would happen. He shuddered, silent tears crawling down his pale cheeks.
After lifetimes of quiet, where the only noise to be heard was the deep breathing of the three and the near silent dripping of water Kilgarrah looked Merlin straight in the eye, something he had never done before. Or at least, never like this. The Dragon had clawed away his rough clothing and snow white skin and was boring right into the heart of him, to his very soul but he stood straight backed and held his ground. He refused obstinately to look away. He felt a spark in his chest, a connection had been made. Perhaps the connection had always been there but neither had ever noticed it, it was buried so deep down.
Suddenly he was struck with a vision.
He wandered into the courtyard, still gazing up at the bright banners strewn high across the street from building to building. He bumped into the back of someone, and eager not to get into a fight before even getting to Gaius, he quickly apologised and turned to walk away when a terrifying sight caught his eye. A man, about twenty years older than himself was being led, shaking and sweating, up onto a stage in the middle of the square, where a large hooded man stood, holding an axe that glinted in the midday sun. The Merlin that still stood in the cavern screamed silently and twisted to no avail inside this dream Merlin's body. He felt sick to his stomach as he resigned himself to watch something that still haunted his nightmares. He could barely hear Uther's hateful speech over the pounding of blood in his ears as he locked eyes with the wretched man, condemned to death by a King so drenched in blood he was drowning in it; who kept pulling more bodies under in attempt to pull himself from the sea of red he found himself trapped in.
Even as the axe came down, Merlin couldn't bring himself to look away.
He felt murderous, even more so than how he had done at the time. He wanted to take Uther and tear him into a thousand pieces and bury them deep beneath the Earth, somewhere they could never see the light of day again. And gods, he could do it. Merlin knew that he could simply walk into the room where the King was sleeping and just… destroy him. He could argue that he did it because of Uther's sins or because it was for the greater good… but he knew it that, deep down, there was a dark part of him. A side that was only let out for air on rare occasion, when he was needed. Otherwise it was locked away from sight, smothered in layers of kindness and feigned naivety, hidden so well even Merlin almost forgot it was their. Almost. That part of him wanted to kill Uther more than anything and damn the consequences. Watching this memory was threatening to release the murky shadow of Merlin from his prison so he could do what the darkest part of his heart desired.
But his torment didn't end at that memory.
Kilgarrah began pushing every face of the sorcerers who had died at Uther's hand into the forefront of his mind and the warlock felt helpless to stop it. He could feel his hatred of the man growing by the second. He saw every person he had ever killed, every monster he had defeated, every friend he had lost. He could feel his own rage as Kilgarrah insisted his Mother's death was necessary if it meant Arthur's survival, the anger of every time Arthur had snubbed him or been cruel to him, the hurt of every time the Prince had unknowingly called him evil. He felt the stab of pain of every lie he had told to save himself. He saw his Mother cry as she watched men in blood red cloaks ride into the woods, swords at the ready. The hopelessness she felt when she realized what was happening to her. Her desperation as she saw her babe's eyes burn gold as he opened them for the first time and all the candles in her cold shack burst into life. Her loneliness as she watched her son grow into the likeness of her dear Balinor. He felt his Father's bitterness as he was forced to run like an animal, again, forced to leave everything he loved, again. He felt his loneliness too, when he sat brooding in a dank cave and watched Druids dance from the shadows. He felt his anguish and betrayal and the stench of death fill his nostrils as the bodies of his kin littered the floor, their murderer so close, but not close enough for him to wrap his hands around the coward's neck.
He saw Kilgarrah happy. He saw a beautiful sapphire Dragon next to the golden one. She nuzzled her snout against him affectionately, making deep, throaty crooning noises. He felt as Kilgarrah returned the action, so full of love and hope Merlin could practically feel it brimming over the edges. He could see a Great Eyrie in snow peaked mountains, the call of Dragon's filling the blue sky. He could feel the rush of pride as Kilgarrah looked down and gazed devotedly at the cluster of hatchling nestled between him and his mate. He felt Kilgarrah's unimaginable pain as he saw, one by one, his children fall out of that sky and as the golden tinged blood seep out of his lover's chest and pool on the ground. He felt the utter desolation inside the Dragon as cowered in his prison, trying fruitlessly to hide from the unbearable ache. He felt the conviction seep into the Dragon, giving him a cause as dark as the cave around him. He had one thought, one purpose. The one thing that could avenge his Anwen, his children, his friends and perhaps fill the ever growing cavity in his chest, the one that slowly spread the poison in his veins.
"ENOUGH!"
Merlin blinked and found himself still standing in the cave staring into the Dragon's eyes. Both their faces were streaked with tears. He had broken the connection, torn away from his kin –for that, he realized, was what Kilgarrah had been long enough- unable to endure the emotions that came with the terrible visions. He saw Kilgarrah's eyes still staring at him, pleading that after all he had shown him, he could understand why Uther deserved retribution. That he would allow the Dragon to act out what he had dreamed of for so long.
But instead, in spite of all that Kilgarrah had shown him, Merlin shook his head and repeated softly "Enough. There has been enough."
Kilgarrah blinked, exhaled deeply and said, in a sad voice "Very well Brother. If that is what you wish I shall not betray you." Calmly, evenly he began. "I swear on Earth beneath my talons and the air beneath my wings, on the Goddess and on the magic that runs through every living creature that I shall not now or ever seek to bring harm to Uther Pendragon or his Kingdom. I swear to protect Arthur Pendragon, even from myself and to keep the people of Camelot safe until it is time to choose. I also swear fealty, not to the Once and Future King, but to Emrys, my Brother, my kin, my future Lord and Lord of the Druids."
At this, he bowed his mighty head at the gangly youth stood before him. Merlin bowed back, eternally thankful that his Brother had agreed to do this. He tentatively reached out and placed his hand on Kilgarrah's snout. "Thank you Brother." He whispered.
Balinor was shocked into silence. When he saw Kilgarrah push the connection between him and Merlin, Balinor felt torn. He knew that this was an important moment for the two, regardless that Merlin was his future Lord but he could tell from his son's face that whatever the Dragon was showing him, it wasn't good. He decided to hold back and wait to see what happened. He jumped in surprise when Merlin's voice roared through the cave, broken and pained. He was even more surprised when Merlin denied Kilgarrah of whatever he had been silently begging for. Such power, such strength…
When Kilgarrah swore his oaths Balinor felt a wave of relief wash over him. Now that was done with, they could release Kilgarrah and then head back to bed. He was very tired all of a sudden. Clearing his throat, he caught both their attentions. He asked "Where will you go?"
Kilgarrah looked suddenly lost, as if the thought of what he would do after his vengeance had never occurred to him. "I don't know," he replied "Perhaps I shall make the pilgrimage to the Isle of the Blessed before making my way to the GreatMountains."
"Well, in a few days I shall be returning to Hunith in Ealdor, and Merlin will be accompanying me. Would you consider meeting us in the forest near there in three days time? There are still matters we need to discuss and I would dearly like for you to meet my Hunith."
The Dragon smiled gently and nodded in reply.
Their shared gaze once again fell onto Bryne Fængtóþ. The power and grace it possessed and the effect its mere presence possessed was almost tangible. Balinor handed it to Merlin, who took it in true ceremonial fashion, holding it level, one hand on the ruby and opal encrusted hilt and the other on the flat of the blade. The warlock could feel the pull of its magic as he held it's feather light weight in his hands. He managed to pull his eyes up from the beautiful blade long enough to grin up at Kilgarrah as he walked over to where the chains began.
He and Balinor shared a look before he raised his sword above his head.
He looked Kilgarrah straight in the eye as he brought down the mighty sword. When it hit the chains it made an almighty sound, steel on steel, magic on magic, resonating in the air around them, in their souls and a blinding white flash threw every crack and crevice in the cave into sharp relief. They heard Kilgarrah roar jubilantly as his shackles broke and he launched up into the air, unrestrained for the first time in over twenty years. Both warlock and Dragonlord could feel his joy and the wind rushing past him as he sped to the concealed entrance to the cave. They joined in Kilgarrah's call of freedom as their Brother disappeared into the night before breaking into bouts of disbelieving laughter.
Later that night when both were lying in Merlin's tiny room, finally approaching sleep, they were struck with the feeling of wind rushing through their hair and a vision of lakes, fields and forests speeding by underneath them as someone whispered to them in the darkness.
"Thank you Brothers."
AN: IMPORTANT. YOU NEED TO READ THIS. SERIOUSLY GUYS I'M NOT KIDDING.
Okay, so this is the final chapter. I know I promised Morgana etc but I'm really struggling to keep up with my work and do regular updates so I decided to finish of this story so I could concentrate more on my studies. I'll keep on writing a sequel that does contain Morgana, as well as Hunith I think, but I won't post it until it's finished, which might be some time. But I am working on a little spin off one shot of young Balinor and Kilgarrah and I have other ideas for similar things, so keep an eye out! If you liked this story, if you didn't, if you have any good Merlin/Balinor stories you think I'd like or any ideas about sequels or oneshots I could do, please drop me a review and I'll get back to you!
This is the longest story I've ever written. 10,000 words. 1,172 views. Wow. Honestly, without you guys reading and following and favoriting it and reviewing it, this would join the pile of things I've never gotten around to finishing. So thank you, if your reading this, have a pat on the back and a biscuit on me!