A/N: Ok, so first chapter! Doing a little housekeeping. First thing: While Piccolo and Gohan are my favorite characters, and I love their relationship, I definitely was not a believer in Piccolo/Gohan. Dragonball Z, to me, had depicted Piccolo and Gohan's relationship perfectly as a mentor/student relationship. I always thought of Piccolo as Gohan's Dad since Goku was hardly ever around. Then I caved and read what fanfiction had to say on Piccolo/Gohan. I was amazed at how well-written they were. I actually found a few that reduced me to tears. Inspired, I changed my way of thinking. I like the cannon, but I am now totally open to the idea of an AU where Piccolo/Gohan exists! As a writer, I knew I had to write a fanfiction myself. The storyline has been exploding in my head, begging to be written. Secondly, I will bring this up now, I know nothing of Japanese anime fanfiction terms and etc. I've only written fanfictions based on stories set in fantasy worlds based on Western culture. However, from what I've found, I guess the words for what I am writing are "Shouen-ai, No Yaoi." Giving it a T rating as a precaution because I'm not 100% on where I'll take this story. Next order of business: Frequency of updates will vary greatly! I just started my freshman year of college. My work is way easy now, but later, I might get into some harder stuff. I'm a Physics major, so I don't doubt I will be very busy at some point and unable to update as often as I'd like to. Ok, onto fourth point -Where I will be starting this story. I don't like anything after the Cell Saga. Buu was ok, but definitely not my favorite Saga. Death literally means nothing, as demonstrated by Goku(who will NOT be coming back in this story. He might talk to them through King Kai at some point, however.) Great Saiyaman was amusing, but I didn't like it. Especially when Videl joined in. And GT. Don't get me started. It didn't happen. So I will be starting at this point: It is one week after the Cell Saga. Majority of the story will be Gohan's POV. When it is not Gohan, it will be Piccolo's -unless at some point I feel it is necessary to go to some other character's thoughts. Speaking of thoughts, some writers put them in quotes like actual speech, but I feel it is neater stylistically to just put them in italics. Just a heads up, especially since I start the story with a thought. Oh, and obviously I do not own Dragonball, Dragonball Z or any of the characters. Not sure why anyone would need to note that since in should be common sense being on a fanfiction website, but out of caution, I will put that in this note.

Dead. He's dead forever. Gohan was still in bed. His alarm clock told him it was 2:53 p.m. He knew Piccolo had told him the past seven days to meet the Namekian by the waterfall at dawn for training, but Gohan couldn't gather the strength to leave his room. The closest he'd gotten to leaving was the day before when got up to walk across the room and look out the window. He had almost opened it to fly away, but something stopped him. His mother, though she wasn't taking the news well either, understood and brought Gohan his meals everyday. Not once had she mentioned studying.

And Gohan didn't study. It wasn't like he didn't try. Of course he'd go to his desk and open a textbook. But there was no will to study. Why bother? You live for a bit. And then you die. Just like your dad. And his dad. And his dad. And everyone else who had the misfortune of living in this miserable universe. So instead of doing anything constructive with his life, Gohan sat. And sat. And sat in his room.

He rolled over in his bed. Will this ever end? Why couldn't he take me with him? Why couldn't I have gone instead? Gohan felt a warm tear roll down his face. It didn't seem fair to him. Life. Who chooses who lives and who dies? Why do things happen the way they do?

Kid, you have got to stop this. Piccolo. He heard his mentor's voice in his head. No. Not mentor. Not anymore. Gohan didn't want to do the fighting thing anymore. Gohan ignored him. Piccolo had tried to talk to Gohan every day since Cell was defeated. Every day, Gohan ignored him. Gohan. Listen to me. Gohan covered his head, as if that would prevent the voice from reaching his mind. Piccolo was the last person he wanted to talk to right now. Gohan felt ashamed. Yes, he had fought well, but it was his fault his dad was dead. He had let his cockiness get the best of him during the battle with Cell. If he would have killed Cell when he was told to…GOHAN! If you don't stop ignoring me….you know what? I'm coming over there. I'm done with this nonsense. I swear, you're acting like a child right now.

Maybe it was a little childish to face problems by sitting in bed all day ignoring your problems. Maybe. Gohan sat up and stared at the wall. How did normal people deal with grief? He didn't even know how to be human anymore. He'd been away from normal life for so long at this point. Gohan's earliest memories were algebra and Piccolo's training. There were hardly any "normal" memories. School. Fighting. School. Fighting. It was his whole life. Now, he was giving up both.

Gohan felt his former mentor's ki approaching. Then, he heard a heavy knock on the front door. Footsteps. They were light. Obviously his mother's and not his grandpa's. "Chi-Chi, where is Gohan?" As if he needed to ask.

"He is in his room, but, Piccolo, he is in no state for visitors. I would appreciate-"

"Woman, I have no time for this. I am going to speak to him." No surprise there. Gohan heard his mother's protests intensify as footsteps neared his bedroom door. The door creaked open.

"Go away," Gohan said, launching a pillow towards the intruder. The pillow was just barely caught before it could make contact with the target.

Piccolo tossed the pillow aside and stood, leaning against the frame of the door. "Kid, you're a mess."

Gohan, now slightly self conscious, absently made an attempt to flatten his hair. "Yeah, well you don't look so great yourself sometimes, but I don't make it a point to comment." He grabbed the shirt on his nightstand and put it on. Okay, maybe being dressed only in your underwear at three o'clock in the evening could qualify you as being a "mess."

For several minutes, the two remained silent. Through the whole time, Gohan felt that Piccolo was scanning him, trying to assess the situation. Finally, he gave up. The silence was too much. He dropped the silence with the one question on his mind. One question he had already answered himself, but needed a second opinion to confirm. "Piccolo? It's my fault, isn't it?"

Confusion crossed the Namekian's face. "What?"

"You know, is it my fault? The...Cell Games?" Gohan turned away. He couldn't look Piccolo in the eyes. The guilt was stronger than any other feelings he had ever felt, maybe even stronger than the anger he had felt when Cell had attacked his friends.

A green monster stood across from Gohan as he took his father's place to fight. This wasn't his battle; he wanted no part of it. In fact, he was sure he would lose. While he apprehensively took a fighting stance, hoping his training didn't fail him in this battle, he couldn't help but notice his father. Goku. He was so full of confidence in his son's abilities. But why? If Goku couldn't beat the monster, what made him think Gohan could? Gohan wished Piccolo could stop it. Piccolo, the one who truly cared for him. Who would never let anything happen to Gohan. Until now. Now, when there was nothing he could do but sit back and watch his student die.

Gohan gasped and buried his head in his hands. There it was again. The flashback. The past few days, especially when he slept, Gohan would have flashbacks to the battle. Sometimes, they were short. Just the monster's laugh. Or the last time he saw his dad's face. Or Piccolo's anger when he thought Cell had killed Gohan in the beginning of the battle. But others were long and painful. The struggle between his friends and the Cell Juniors. Cell's various transformations. Android 16's death. Each one made him want to die so that he wouldn't have to deal with them anymore.

When Gohan looked up again, Piccolo was by his side. "Gohan, are you all right?"

"I'm...I'm fine," Gohan lied.

"Yeah, right. And I'm King Kai. Look, Gohan, it wasn't your fault. We all make mistakes. The strength you had...it was...I understand you thought you could win. That was logical. Hell, we could all see that you were stronger than him. You had no way of knowing that he would do that. Yes, it was a stupid, arrogant thing to do, but that doesn't make it your fault."

Gohan felt his ki rising. He did nothing to stop it. What was the point? He'd been taught to keep it down in case of enemies searching for a strong ki, but there weren't anymore enemies to worry about now. "I just want to be left alone. I deserve to suffer through this. I brought it upon myself."

"Pack your stuff. We're leaving." Piccolo's voice betrayed no emotion. Gohan knew it was useless to argue. He went to his closet and tossed his old, orange gi into a backpack and left the weighted cape behind. He didn't know if the gi even fit anymore since it had been so long since he had worn it last, but he no longer felt worthy of dressing like his mentor.

"He's just a scared eleven year old boy!"

Gohan shuddered, pausing for a moment before zipping the backpack. "Do I need anything else?"

Piccolo didn't respond for a moment. Then, he seemed to have an idea. "Bring a few of your school books."

"Why?" There was a hint of a whine to Gohan's voice, something that hadn't been there since his training as a small child. He couldn't help it. He didn't want to waste more of his life on books. Maybe if he had spent more time training than studying those dumb things...

"Because I told you too! Do you need another reason?

Gohan was confused, but he wasn't going to argue with the Namekian's request. The tone suggested it was non-negotiable. Pressing the issue would only cause more trouble in the long run. Reluctantly, Gohan tossed a calculus book in with his clothes, followed by one on molecular biology and, to round out his selection, a book of advanced language and literature he'd never seen before. He assumed his mother had gotten it for him recently. Piccolo took off out the window. Gohan looked around the room one last time and followed. If there was one thing he had learned, it was that he should cherish every second in a particular place. You never know when -or if- you will ever return.