I listened to every Night Vale podcast in a matter of days and I have no regrets. This fandom is amazing.

This was written with help from my beautiful friend Huntress Under Seige, who is a wonderful human being and maybe even as perfect as perfect Carlos. You can find her both here and on AO3 with the same username, just with underscores between the words (ie Huntress_Under_Seige). You should read her stuff; it's great.

Carlos sighed. It had been another long day in which Night Vale didn't follow any of the rules of physics, and there was definitely a headache coming on. As Carlos got up to get himself a drink and maybe some Tylenol, he happened to glance over at the clock and swore.

"Damn it, I'm missing Cecil's show!" he groaned to himself. He quickly turned on the radio. Music streamed from the speakers. For a moment, Carlos was worried he had missed the entire show, then Cecil's voice came back on and Carlos realized it had just been the weather. Well, he had missed most of the show, but at least not all of it.

"And now, listeners, to the most important news," Cecil's sonorous voice crooned. Carlos wondered what that could be. He assumed it was some message from the City Council or something, and if Cecil thought it was the most important news, Carlos should probably listen to it. He sank into a chair next to the radio and turned up the volume a bit.

What Cecil said was not what Carlos had been expecting. "So I was talking with Carlos and he says he started listening to my radio show!" Cecil squealed, sounding more like a teenage girl than the mature reporter he was. Carlos sighed, sure he was blushing. A slight smile pulled at his lips too, though; this was kinda cute. Cecil continued. "And I was like, 'oh, okay,' you know, because I didn't want to sound like I was expecting anything from him. And he said he liked it! Perfect Carlos with his perfect hair and his perfect brain that's just SO smart likes my radio show! I can't believe it!"

Carlos knew his face was bright red, but he couldn't keep a goofy grin from spreading across his face. He knew Cecil loved him, and hell, they had been dating for a few months now, but this affirmation was still nice. Apparently, that wasn't the end of this segment, though, because Cecil kept gushing in the same teenage-girl voice.

"I asked him if he ever wanted to BE on the show, which is not something that I've ever asked anyone before. In fact, I'm not even sure it's allowed, and I doubt Station Management would be happy. But I asked Carlos anyway…and he said no." Cecil sounded a little disappointed, and Carlos suddenly wished he'd said yes. "But he DID say that he's going to keep listening," Cecil added, his voice brightening, "AND that he wants to come over more often to see Khoshekh and his floating kittens in the bathroom, so I think I'll be seeing more of Carlos pretty soon!" Cecil paused for a moment, then added, "Not that YOU'LL be seeing him, dear listeners. Since radios aren't visual mediums, you cannot see his glorious, perfect hair. But, fear not; I shall describe it for you!" Carlos buried his face in a pillow to hide his embarrassment, even though he was alone in his house. Yes, being constantly described as perfect was flattering, but it was also a little embarrassing to know that every other person in Night Vale was hearing it too.

Cecil still wasn't done. Didn't he have a job to do? Carlos wondered how on earth he got away with just blabbing about whatever he wanted (which was usually Carlos) on air instead of reporting. "And, if you happen to walk near his lab, which I have done on multiple occasions for no real reason and DEFINITELY not because I want to see more of Carlos, you might catch a glimpse, dear listeners! And remember, if there are any changes with anything he does, call me IMMEDIATELY." Cecil's voice stumbled a bit. "I, um, want to make sure that Carlos is safe. And that's the only reason I want updates, of course," he added. He was a terrible liar. Carlos grinned and grabbed his phone.

you're a dork, he texted Cecil affectionately. remember who your listeners are.

"Oh, and listeners, I also-" There was a faint buzzing noise from the radio that cut Cecil off. Carlos's smile widened. "Wait," Cecil said. There was a shuffling sound. "My phone is buzzing. I have received a text! I wonder if it's from Intern Dana with more news from the Dog Park. Normally, I would not read a text while on air, listeners, but in light of the recent circumstances, I believe I will." Carlos rolled his eyes. Cecil seemed to do whatever he wanted on the radio; why wouldn't he read a text?

"Oh. It's not from Dana. It's from…" Cecil's voice brightened exponentially, and Carlos honestly couldn't believe he had that sort of effect on someone. "It's from Carlos!" There was a pause as Cecil read the text. "He says… Listeners, can you help? I'm not sure whether Carlos means this in an affectionate way or not. He says I am a 'dork,' and that I should remember who my listeners are. What could he mean by that? And what exactly does he mean by calling me a dork?" Carlos rolled his eyes and sent another text to Cecil.

i've heard this whole broadcast, silly. i listen to your show, remember? and i don't believe that you really just happen to go by my house when you live no where near me.

Carlos sent the text, then remembered something else he wanted to say and sent another. i meant dork affectionately. and you can come over whenever you want instead of getting the whole town to spy on me.

"He's texted me again, listeners!" Cecil sounded ridiculously excited at the thought. "This time he says… Oh. I…" Carlos could imagine Cecil's blush perfectly. "Well, this is rather embarrassing. Carlos has been listening to this broadcast, and has heard my comments about him. He, apparently, does not believe that I happen across his house for no reason, as it is no where near my house or the radio station, and he also is not convinced that I want updates on him merely for the sake of his safety. I must admit, listeners, there might be a BIT of a secondary motive there." Carlos rolled his eyes. He was fairly certain that everyone knew that.

"But," Cecil added, sounding like he was far more happy than a simple text should have made him, "he also adds that when he said 'dork,' he meant it affectionately, and that I do not need to rely on others for information about him. He says that I am free to visit him whenever I wish!" Cecil squealed the last sentence, sounding even more like a teenage girl than he had previously. Carlos couldn't believe he was actually dating this dork.

"Oh, happy day, Night Vale!" Cecil gushed. "Or, considering the time, happy NIGHT. And it is here that I end this broadcast, with all of you hopefully on the path to love like the love I have found. I leave you with my customary parting words: Good night, Night Vale. I hope you will all have a mostly terror-free experience until we meet again." Carlos couldn't help but chuckle at the signoff before turning off his radio. He looked over at his clock. After the show, Cecil normally spent five to ten minutes getting all of his things before leaving the station. Carlos thought he had an idea of where Cecil's next destination might be.

Just as Carlos had expected, there was a knock on his door fifteen minutes later. He opened to see Cecil standing on his doorstep, a huge smile on his face. He was wearing one of his sweater vests, a light purple one. His bowtie was a darker shade of the same color. His tattoos had curled up from his forearms to creep around his neck, and instead of their normal purple, they were a sort of magenta and seemed to be turning more and more pink the longer Carlos looked at them. Behind his glasses, Cecil's eyes looked happy and eager. His third eye on his forehead was open as well, and all three were staring at Carlos.

"I liked the broadcast," Carlos said in an amused voice as he let Cecil in. A bit of a blush came into Cecil's cheeks.

"Well, it was all true," he protested. Carlos chuckled.

"It was very flattering," he told Cecil. Cecil's tattoos were now a rosy pink.

"And you really meant it when you said I could come over whenever I wanted?" he asked shyly. Carlos nodded, smiling.

"I have a spare key that hasn't been used at all and feels remarkably underappreciated. Do you think you could help with that?"

Carlos assumed that Cecil's enthusiastic kiss that almost tackled him to the ground was a yes.