Chapter 1

Bilbo could tell as soon as he saw Gandalf that his day had just gone down the plumbing; Bilbo was already greatly despised in the Shire for what he could do and what he had done, he didn't need Gandalf to make things worse. It wasn't just the Took blood in him, though many said that was a large blame factor, it was the end result of what he had become. You see, there were two things wrong with Bilbo; like other Hobbits, he had three shift forms, a land shift, a flight shift, and, as the Hobbits referred to them, a 'sneaking' shift, but they were dangerous forms that no one wanted anything to do with. The other thing wrong, was, unlike other Hobbits, he was a little wizard that had a particular knack for spells that involved nature. Between his magic and the fact that his shifts were dangerous, the only Hobbits that actually interacted with Bilbo and kept him from being a complete hermit were his cousin Drogo, his wife Primula, his gardener Hamfast, and his wife Bell. The others, particularly Lobelia and that annoying husband of hers, all constantly remarked on the fact that between his three shifts, he could easily kill everyone in the Shire. They believed him wholly capable of this because, after he saw his mother and father killed by Orcs, he had become so filled with hatred at those he perceived as part of the reason he had become an orphan so young, that darkness had touched two of his three shifts.

They would often say that he was unfit to be around other Hobbits because of all that he had become; after he saw his parents murdered, his heart filled with hatred not only for Orcs, but also for the Men and Elves who had come too late to save at least his mother, who had managed to kill an Orc and a Warg in her badger shift before an Orc's mace had taken her life. After that, Bilbo had transformed from a care free Hobbit to someone that others feared and stayed far away from. It was during that attack that Bilbo's magic had awakened as well, and some blamed that for his animal transformation problems. He had almost been consumed by the evil and hatred in his heart, but Gandalf had found him and taken him to Lord Elrond, where, with the help of King Thranduil and other elves, they were able to save him, though his land shift was forevermore altered. After he had recovered, Thranduil and Elrond had both agreed that the best way for him to control his anger was to teach him how to spar and they quickly realized that he had a penchant for more long distanced weaponry. He was a very good archer, and he was also good at weapons not many used such as the chakram and the spear. While he was also very good at laying traps, if he was forced into melee weaponry, he was good with both a claymore and a katar. He also used a heavy duty shield called a targe, though his had been modified so that the five inch long spike was hidden until he decided to release it.

"Gandalf, for whatever reason you're here, I sincerely hope you are prepared for rejection."

"Mr. Baggins, I assure you that I am here to simply inquire as to the welfare of an old friend who also happens to be the son of one of my dearest friends."

"Gandalf, I truly could care less, but as you are not going to leave me alone until I find out why you are here so please?"

"Very well, I am looking for someone to share in an adventure." Gandalf could see that Bilbo was interested, but he refrained from expressing it.

"I take it then that I am to completely ignore Lord Elrond's warnings?"

"My dear Bilbo, I for one have perfect faith in your control. Also, your forms would be perfect for the job I have in mind for you."

"One, who would I be working with, and two, what are you talking about?"

"You recall hearing about the dragon Smaug invading Erebor?"

"You expect me to fight a dragon and work with dwarves?! While I personally have nothing against them, their stubborn pride is annoying and irritating, and I personally don't feel like being fried just so some can claim mountains of gold and a fancy looking rock."

"I would never even think to ask that of you my old friend, but if I could argue my case to you?"

"I'd be willing to listen over dinner, just how many should I expect?"

"Why, I would only think to impose myself and one other on your gracious hospitality. Now, I must depart to inform the others that you are willing to hear us out; you won't regret this Bilbo, I promise you!" Gandalf said before he turned and walked away. Bilbo went inside, to think of what to feed an unknown number of dwarves and one wizard.

Later that Night

"He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." The newest and final addition, Thorin Oakenshield, said as he looked right at Bilbo, and Bilbo had to fight not to shift and tear out this impudent dwarf's throat as he listened to some of the others chuckle at their leader degrade their host.

"And you act more like a bigoted idiot that could end up in a very dangerous situation for judging people for their first impressions rather than a descendent of the Durin line and heir to the noble throne of Erebor." Bilbo said and he could tell that many were gob smacked he had just out and out said something like that to their leader.

"Watch your tone Halfling." Thorin growled, but Bilbo's own shift lent him some courage to stand up to this mutt.

"And you watch your manners, Dwarf; I am not half of anything, and I will not be talked down to by anyone, especially in my own home. I have allowed your men to come into my house, rest, eat my food, drink my ale, all without a certain annoying Wizard telling me to expect him and thirteen dwarves. Also, for your information, I happen to prefer long range weapons such as the bow and arrow, but that is not to say that I can't fight close range, for that, I use the claymore and katar." Bilbo and Thorin were glaring at each other, and Dwalin worried if he would have to pull the two off of each other.

"Bilbo, please, if we could go into the dining room and I'll explain why we're here."

"There's no need; Master Thorin, you'll find food in the kitchen, I believe I know what is expected of me, if I could have a few moments to think on it?" Bilbo asked and Thorin stiffly nodded, however, both refused to back down. Thorin had a feeling he and the Hobbit were going to clash often, making him believe that their dominant shifts were natural enemies. Fili and Kili both quickly came up and got the two to look away at the same time, knowing that was the only way to get the two separated, Fili took Thorin to the kitchen and Kili took Bilbo off to the side.

"Charming fellow, your uncle, isn't he?" Bilbo asked Kili.

"Yes well, please understand, he is under a lot of pressure and life hasn't exactly been fair to him since Erebor was lost. Not to mention, he has trouble trusting people since King Thranduil left our people to suffer."

"I can understand that, I'm not a big fan of Men and most Elves myself, but since I have no reason to hate your people, I would like to think that, though there were times when I wanted to strangle some of you for your manners, I was fairly courteous." Bilbo said with a sigh.

"Except when Ori tried to put out your prize tomatoes and Oin tried to use your grandpa Mungo's chair, you were very courteous." Kili said with that smile of his. Bilbo then led him to a locked room.

"I keep my weapons in here; not many Hobbitlings come here, but my cousin likes to bring his son around sometimes, and the last thing I need is for the child of one of the very few Hobbits who can stand me to lose some fingers or toes." Bilbo said as he unlocked the door and showed Kili inside.

"Does this mean that you'll be coming with us?" Kili asked as he stepped inside.

"I think so, there's not much holding me here to the Shire." Bilbo said as he looked for his weapons, finding his quiver and bow first.

"What's this?" Kili asked, holding up a thin ring of sharpened metal.

"That is part of a set of three and is called a chakram; basically, you throw it at your opponent and, if you're lucky, it will be embedded in your opponent's skull but if you're really lucky, it will completely take the head off."

"And here Fili and I were expecting a peace loving Hobbit that couldn't tell a claymore from a broadsword." Kili said with a chuckle as he gently put the chakram down.

"Please understand Master Kili, I do not thirst for battle, I just needed an outlet after my parents death and learning weaponry was the safest one. Though it is one of the reasons why the other Hobbits don't like me very much; a Hobbit is only supposed to love good food, the love of his family, and things that grow and come from the earth. For myself however, well, I don't really eat as much as other Hobbits, they eat seven while I only ever eat three, sometimes two, I don't really have any close family, all I have is my garden." Bilbo said as he picked up his three chakram and claymore.

"Is there anything else needed from this room?" Kili asked, trying to draw the nice Hobbit away from such distressing thoughts.

"Yes, I need my spear and my shield; I would never think of leaving the Shire without my shield." Kili looked around, and soon found said items and carefully handed the spear to Bilbo as it was two pronged, and could almost be mistaken for a pitch fork. He curiously handed the round shield to Bilbo as well.

"Please don't think me rude, but I would think someone like you would prefer a full bodied shield."

"Yes well, the problem with that is that if it's full bodied, then when I have it on my back, it's either dragging on the ground, or constantly knocking the backs of my knees. And this is one shield that I would definitely carry on my back when I'm not using it."

"Why?" Kili then jumped back as all of a sudden, a five inch long, razor sharp blade protruded from the shield.

"That's why; if anyone is going to try and sneak up on me, they're going to get this through their stomachs, though for the tall folk, it would probably go through their knee cap, which would still hurt like hell." Bilbo said with a wicked smirk that Kili copied.

"I'm glad you're not my enemy." Kili said as Bilbo picked up his katar and they left the room.

"Never assume, now, I have a cloak around here somewhere, along with a decent bedroll and pack."

"Mister Boggins, what's a katar? I've never even heard of it, let alone seen one." Kili asked and Bilbo showed him his punching dagger.

"First, my name is Baggins, with an A; secondly, it's a dagger that you can put all of your weight behind when you drive it into your opponent. Furthermore, if you open it while it's inside your opponent, their insides will become their outsides."

"Open it?" Kili asked with an uneasy expression. He then jumped as Bilbo pushed a button and the dagger opened into three separate parts.

"You best be careful or you'll lose some fingers; the katar is one of those weapons that should be used by experts, not people looking for a hobby." Thorin said and Kili silently wished that he and Fili could have kept them separated a little longer; say till the end of the quest?

"For your information, I have been using a katar for thirty years and I am quite good at it."

"Please don't tell me that the two of you are gearing up for another argument; you have probably talked to each other for a grand total of maybe fifteen minutes and you seem to keep looking for reasons to tear each other's throats out!" Gandalf said as he came in. Unfortunately, he knocked his head against the chandelier again.

"I swear, one day I will melt that blasted thing down and turn it into an ornament for my staff." Gandalf mumbled before Thorin thrust a piece of paper at Bilbo.

"If you think you have what it takes to make yourself useful on this quest, sign on the bottom." Bilbo took a good long look at the contract, and then signed on the bottom.

"Making sure you could live up to it?" Thorin asked with a smirk.

"Just making sure that there's no clause saying you can kill me when I offer an opinion that differs with your own." Bilbo answered with a smirk of his own.

"Ah, Mr. Baggins, is there anything else I can help you find?" Kili asked, trying to keep his uncle and his nice host from fighting physically as well as verbally.

"You need not concern yourself with helping him find his gear." Thorin said with a sneer.

"Listen here mutt, if your nephew wants to be polite to someone of another race, you should encourage that instead of discouraging it. The one who knows how to properly talk to another is the one less likely to start a war."

"And what would someone like you know about war?" Thorin asked, sneer seeming more prominent than before. Before Bilbo could retort however, Gandalf came and pushed him towards Kili, who was all too happy to intervene.

"Master Kili, kindly take Mr. Baggins to the main guest room, the one at the end of the hall, to the right. In that room's closet, you'll find his cloak, as well as his pack and gear; kindly make sure that he has everything necessary." Kili and Bilbo turned to leave, but they both managed to hear

"Thorin, I don't know why you are directing such hostility towards Mr. Baggins, but let me assure you he is not one who will take much more lying down, so unless you would like to face something dangerous, I suggest you stop pushing!" Kili did not know how long he could keep his laughter in at hearing his uncle being scolded, so he quickly nudged Bilbo down the hall. As Bilbo and Kili came to the door across from his own, Bilbo paused and turned to Kili.

"Master Kili, I must ask that you take care in this room; the few earthly possessions of my mother and father that are not an armchair or some pottery are in this room, and I would rather not have to skin you for breaking something." Kili did not so much as touch anything or breathe too hard, as he firmly believed the warrior Hobbit would keep to his threat. He was lead to a closet, and in it was indeed Bilbo's cloak which, at a quick glance, looked severely patched up and one that most would say was a lost clause. However, when Kili saw that the lining of the cloak was a dark grey color, with no sign of patch work, he took a closer look and saw that what he had earlier dismissed as patchwork was in actuality, camouflage that looked like foliage. Bilbo then passed a pack that had a bedroll attached to it, as well as a smaller pack.

"What's the smaller pack for?" Kili asked as he folded Bilbo's cloak for him and they moved to Bilbo's own room to begin packing.

"Well, it's a medical pack; it's got bandages, ointments, stuff for stitches, as well as some plants that are vary with potency depending on whether they are crushed into an ointment or boiled into a liquid mixture."

"Oin has all that and more in his pack." Kili said as he tried to find warm clothing for the Hobbit, but there wasn't a whole lot.

"Yes, I'm afraid that the Shire is not known for bad winters, though I keep some warmer clothes in my closet for winter. But, back to Oin's remedies, what is good for a dwarf is not always good for a Hobbit, and vice versa. Anyways, on a journey all the way from here to Erebor, it's not a bad idea to have additional medical supplies." Bilbo said as he went into the closet and pulled out his two warmest sets of clothes. However, as he did this, something that had been lodged in between two boxes on the top shelf fell out, right on Bilbo's head.

"Ow!"

"What was it?" Kili asked as Bilbo knelt down and picked up an old pocket knife that he had not seen in thirty-five years.

"It's my fathers pocket knife; I thought it was lost when he died."

"If you don't mind me asking, how-"

"I was twelve years old, which is very young for a Hobbit, and they were killed by Orcs. I would greatly appreciate it if we could leave it at that." Bilbo said as he slipped the pocket knife into a side pocket on the pack. Kili knew that Bilbo's thought were getting dark again so, though he had no real reason to care so much about the mental well-being of someone he had only known for a few hours, he quickly grabbed onto a topic that he hoped was not another tender one.

"So, Gandalf tells us that Hobbits have three shifts, dwarves only have two, a main one and a secondary one. My dominant shift is a cheetah, while my secondary is an otter."

"So, you're both fast, and you like to have fun; I better keep an eye on you, mischief maker." Bilbo said with a smirk while Kili made a wounded expression.

"Mr. Baggins, I assure you, I'm as innocent as a newborn babe."

"Baby skunk maybe." Bilbo grumbled as he went over everything to make sure he didn't forget anything, feeling like he forgot something.

"Nonetheless, what are your shifts?" Kili was surprised when Bilbo seemed to trip on thin air.

"Here in the Shire, it is considered highly rude to discuss your shifts with any who is not your spouse, or at the very least, your sibling." Bilbo said as he straightened.

"But I thought that as far as Hobbits went, you were an anomaly?" Kili asked, wondering what the big deal was.

"Kili, I don't like talking about this, and while I can tell you love to cause mischief, my instincts tell me that you know when to be serious and that you're a good man in a storm. So, I feel like I can explain to you that, when my parents were killed by the Orcs, a sort of darkness touched my heart, and it affected two out of my three forms; while my 'sneaking' shift, as we Hobbits call it, was unaffected, but my air shift was touched and my land shift was permanently altered. All you or anyone needs to know is that my shifts are all dangerous killers and, if we're lucky, none of you will ever need to see it." Kili felt like kicking himself; he had tried to think of something that would put the Hobbit (Best start thinking of him as Bilbo if he's going to be coming with us Kili thought) in lighter spirits, and instead he was even gloomier than ever!

"Err, how about I tell you everyone else's shifts, which should put you at ease because, no offense, but once you hear about all the 'dangerous' shifts we already have in the company, you'll feel more at ease!" Kili suggested with an uneasy smile, which didn't convince Bilbo for a second, but he figured it couldn't hurt.

"Right, well, you know mine, and while Fili can also turn into an otter, his dominant shift is a lion; Ori's dominant shift is a pika, with his secondary form being a hare; Nori's main shift is a grey fox, with his secondary being a bobcat; Dori's dominant shift is a big horn sheep, with his secondary being a caracal cat; Bifur's dominant shift is an elk with his secondary shift being a jaguarundi; Bombur's dominant shift is a hippopotamus and his secondary is a moose; Bofur's dominant shift is a red fox, while his secondary shift is that of a spotted hyena; Oin and Gloin are rare in that they share a dominant shift of an ibex, and they share a secondary as Oliphants (a/n: elephants are very family oriented animals and I thought, with how much Gloin loves his family, and how close the two of them are, it was an appropriate match); Balin's dominant is a mountain goat with his secondary being a snapping turtle (rumor has it that he once bit Thorin's finger when he had fallen asleep during a tutoring session); Dwalin is a heavily scarred bear with his secondary being a gorilla; Thorin's dominant is a huge black wolf with ice blue eyes, and his secondary is a fierce badger." Kili's smile fell of completely as, while Bilbo looked impressed, it was the look one gave when someone thought it amusing when another told them that their pets were vicious, when they themselves had a far more dangerous one.

"Kili, I take no real pride in any of my forms, so please don't think I'm bragging when I say that between my three shifts, I could rip all of you apart with very few problems."

A/N: Right, so that's my first chapter of a story that I really should not be starting, not with my computer not wanting to so much as turn on and I have to rely on my sister's and her boyfriends computers and laptops. But the plot bunnies just would not leave me alone! So, would anyone like to hazard a guess as to what Bilbo's three shifts are? Also, would you all prefer it if the slash was just between Bilbo and Thorin? Or should I attempt the oh-so-rare foursome of Thorin/Fili/Kili/Bilbo? Also, concerning Smaug, would you prefer it if he died like in the book, with Bard and his black arrow? Or would you prefer he die at the hands at one of the dwarves, say Thorin or Dwalin? Or maybe, Bilbo launches a spell that temporarily displaces Smaug from Erebor, only for him to come back and help in the Battle of the Five Armies because he finds the little green wizard/thief much more interesting than mountains of shiny coins and baubles? Also, should Frodo come to live with Bilbo at Erebor? What should his shifts be?

You'll all find out Bilbo's shifts around the time the company reach Rivendell, as Elrond will most certainly not be a happy Elf lord when he see's that a certain grey wizard has convinced someone they spent so much energy to save to leave the calm peaceful borders of the Shire and enter a world filled with the very creatures that killed his parents. Anyways, review and tell me what you think of it! It's my first Hobbit fic so if we could please keep the flaming to a minimum? By the way, sorry about any weird spacing in some paragraphs; that just happened and no matter what I did, it still did the same thing. Ta for now, darlings, I'll update whenever I can!