AN: We finally got to the final chapter, can you believe it? Very bittersweet. Grateful for all the love and passion you've been sending my way over the past couple of months, and here's to hoping that my final gift to you is satisfactory. I know we got dark but this was always going to be a story of triumph rather than defeat.

Thanks for everything.

Following ninety-six hours' worth of homework, of discovering daily habits and regular times that he had company, Francis Dawley was taken care of. He'd been crumbled on the ground and coughing up blood when the police arrived and discovered the amount of illegal substances on his person and property. There was nothing he could have done.

A couple of weeks after Quinn entered rehab her friends began to drop unsubtle hints that they had to get back home soon. They had lives and homes to get back to, and several had regular jobs that wouldn't stay open if they were gone for much longer. They were all concerned and supportive to both Rachel and Quinn but didn't feel any guilt for leaving, and nor did Rachel act in any way other than thankful that they all stuck around for an extra week than they were going to. It was the right thing to do; they all had to figure out their careers, what they wanted their next move to be after the incredible yet surreal journey from the past few months, and lives had to regain some sort of normality even after tragedy. And although what had happened with Quinn was harrowing, it could have been much worse.

Rachel found it easy to keep herself busy.

A couple of days into Quinn's rehabilitation, Rachel happened to be on her way to the bedroom to get changed for a night out when she spotted an old book wedged between two of her newer ones on the bookcase. Upon closer inspection she saw that it was Quinn's —now hers— copy of Little Women. There was an inscription inside which read "Lucy Quinn Fabray, age 9" underneath the single line streaked through it, now reading "Rachel Berry" below it. The sight produced a warm sensation in her chest and she took the book to her room so that she wouldn't forget to start reading it before bed.

She had missed travelling for pleasure rather than business and took a three-week trip to Europe with some friends she had admittedly neglected since she'd begun work on the album. Sightseeing and nights out aside, she found that she didn't need to keep herself distracted every hour of the day in order to stay sane. She thought of Quinn regularly and didn't fold into herself with worry. A private smile would pull at her mouth sometimes during her musings, and if she happened to get a phone call from one of her Glee friends —her family— and they mentioned Quinn or retold an anecdote involving her, Rachel would smile then too. But it was easier to laugh.

Rachel took to songwriting again on her well-earned break. It begun in Italy during the first stop of her trip and still hadn't ended. Lyrics came easier to her than they once had in high school, and with everything that had happened it felt like the most natural thing in the world to pick up a notebook and begin writing. She didn't even have to be in the bathroom to write. It was a success all around.

She was going strong on the treadmill the time where Kurt, Blaine and Johnny informed her of their single and album chart-placement. It didn't hurt when she flew off the machine and crashed to the floor; in fact, Rachel barely felt it at all. There was a photo floating around on social media sites of a paramedic holding an ice-pack to her head while she grinned ecstatically.

Rachel visited Sam and Mercedes in LA for a weekend, making sure that the three of them grabbed lunch with Brittany and Santana while she was there. It was good to see them all after a month. Rachel grew used to them being around physically even after such a short weekend trip and didn't appreciate the sinking sensation when it was time to leave. She made sure that she kept in contact with all of her friends who were back to their own lives; regularly texting, e-mailing and calling them to keep up to date with anything going on, and of course overshare everything going on in her own life.

After more than a dozen failed attempts, Rachel did something she thought she would never do: she successfully made her own pasta. The first thing she did was call her Daddy and rub that little fact in his face like the mature, responsible adult that she was, and the second thing came after she'd hung up. She thought of Quinn, of how badly she wanted to pick up the phone and call her to tell her. The first time Rachel cooked the pasta for somebody else was a week or so later when Antonio came over for dinner and she didn't stop badgering him for details about his new girlfriend and job offer.

Rachel did a lot of things over the three months to keep busy and appreciate how fortunate she was.

She approached Johnny for a favour one day and laughed at his exaggerated groan before she'd even asked him anything. He was right to have reacted warily. She wanted him to beg his sister for the address of Jackson's burial site so that she could lay flowers. Considering the anonymous tip from the not so distant past, the information was handed over after only a few days —albeit with a firm warning that no other requests would be fulfilled. As Rachel placed the flowers down on top of the freshly turned mound of earth and stared at the temporary wooden cross and brass name plate revealing that it was indeed Jackson's final place of rest, she got to thinking that Quinn was right in what she said a few weeks ago. That could have easily been Quinn's name she read, only it wasn't because of a few simple decisions somewhere along the way.

Rachel still didn't know much about Jackson other than he made Quinn feel safe and happy and that he probably hadn't been too different from Quinn in a lot of ways. She had initially blamed and resented him for Quinn's relapse in Florida but after some time to consider it, Quinn had still made the final decision. Rachel had judged Jackson too harshly, too quickly, and it was unfair. She only hoped that he was at peace now, and that he knew that Quinn would be in good hands with her.

One day, when there were thirteen days to go until it had officially been three months according to the calendar and the haircut she'd had to get a few weeks ago, Rachel woke up slightly earlier than her alarm and padded around the kitchen to see if she had anything in the cupboards that remotely interested her enough to make for breakfast. As she didn't, she dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt that she'd worn the afternoon before and prayed that nobody recognised her if she kept her head low and the baseball cap firmly on top of it. She was recognised often enough but being in such a large city it was easy to go unnoticed a lot of the time, too. At first that didn't appeal to her very much but she soon grew to love the anonymity the city could sometimes offer.

During the breakfast run three teenage girls behind her muttered to each other about their theory that the small woman in front was Rachel Berry, entertaining her for a couple of minutes while the line got shorter. She planned on cheerfully telling the girls to have a good day with an accompanied wink on her departure, also adding the cost of their order to her bill when they mentioned the unfairness of how beautiful she was without a scrap of make-up on and then how they knew lots of little facts about her, listing their extensive knowledge of her performances and albums. But the girls were big fans and they'd been waiting impatiently for Rachel's name to be called out for her order, so when it was they rushed her with excited squeals and hasty questions. During an enthusiastic hug from the tallest of the girls, Rachel's breakfast bagel was squashed but, gracious as she was, she didn't say a word.

It was always a pleasant experience when meeting her fans but she'd woken up hungry out of her mind and resorted to taking a large bite of the bagel in the elevator as it rose to her floor. In such a case of emergency, her eating habits were not particularly ladylike. Rachel had been about to swallow the chewed up mass inside her mouth, using her thumb to wipe the corner of her bottom lip of pesto when the elevator doors dinged open and she came face to face with Judy.

Her eyes widened a second before she had to cough up the food lodged in her throat. Following the clearing and soothing of her throat, Rachel touched a hand to her chest. "Excuse me," she said, dazed. Judy had aged quite a bit since the last time she had seen her but there was, as ever, an undeniable air of class about her. Rachel thought she looked wonderful. Judy's smile prompted Rachel's legs forward before the elevator doors closed on her. "Ms…Judy, hi. I-I wasn't expecting you."

"Hello, Rachel. Is it a bad time? I know it's quite early. Perhaps I should have called first."

Rachel automatically shook her head in dismissal. Judy carried her fear with similar physical nervous ticks and body language to Quinn, or rather, the other way around. Similar but not exactly the same. Judy's anxiety was less prominent in the eyes, more adept at concealing it.

"It's not a bad time at all. You just caught me in the middle of breakfast," Rachel smiled sheepishly.

"Would you like me to call back in a little while?"

"No, please," she insisted, fishing her keys out from her purse to unlock the door. "Come on in." Her apartment was thankfully in order. As if it wasn't mortifying enough to see Quinn's mother after so many years and look like she'd just rolled out of bed, which she kind of had. She was caught off guard and on-edge because of the impromptu visit. "Is Quinn okay?"

The mention of her daughter lessened Judy's tension noticeably. She followed Rachel through to the combined kitchen-dining area. "As I understand it, Quinn is doing remarkably well since the last time you saw her."

Rachel broke out into an uncontrollable smile. "Yeah?"

"She looks wonderful," Judy added. "Sounds wonderful. Compared to the morning she checked in, anyway. She was… she was incredibly ill that morning. I know three months isn't long enough to bring my daughter back to a version of herself that she's comfortable with, but she's getting there. We're both trying very hard and I'm very proud of her for that."

"Do you see her often?"

"Yes and no," she admitted after brushing off Rachel's apology for having nothing in to offer her to eat, and accepted a bottle of water graciously. They sat at the table. "Initially, I was prohibited from that place like I carried the plague. I went there several times and explained how badly I needed to speak with my daughter but they refused to let me in because Quinn was in withdrawal and her treatment required at least a two-week separation from the outside world and everybody in it. I found it ridiculous," Judy commented, realising she'd gone off on a tangent by the hint of a smile directed towards her. "I see her twice a week, once for a shared therapy session and once just for us. But it's never enough. We have a great deal to discuss and catch up on, and I'm not especially patient in my old age. There's… there's a lot that I have to make up for, things that I've wanted to do or say for many years, and a couple of hours at a time doesn't really come close."

There were so many things that Rachel wanted to say to Quinn after not even three months. How many things Judy had saved or bottled up over the years was difficult to imagine. "You'll have all of the time in the world when Quinn gets out in a couple of weeks."

"That's why I'm here, Rachel. Quinn has asked me to talk to you about something important to her. She would have called you herself if she could get to a phone but those idiots refuse to grant even their best patients access to one." Frustration hardened the line of Judy's brows but they slackened after a moment. "The people who work there are incredible, I shouldn't have said that. I just wish they would reward her when she's done so much to be rewarded for."

As much as Rachel wanted to speak with Quinn, it wasn't a stretch to think that Judy's opinion was a mother's attitude. Quinn may have done many wonderful things in the months that have passed but she wasn't there to be rewarded, she was there to claw her way back to some sort of control and normality to her life. The possibility of the message made her too nervous to sip at her coffee as she had been.

"What did Quinn want to say?"

"She said…" Judy smoothed her hand over the creased material covering her forearm. "Well, she said to tell you that she's missed you very much. Quinn speaks of you highly, and often. I can see why."

"It's mutual," Rachel returned happily.

"She also wanted me to pass on another message, and I'm not to tell you any other way than gently because, and I quote, 'Rachel will freak out and I don't want her to do that. I don't want her to have any doubts.' Okay?" Rachel nodded. "When Quinn is released in a couple of weeks, she can't see you right away. She needs some time to be in the city again, to live away from the safety net she's had underneath her for the past couple of months and to find out how she's going to handle that. She would hate to put you through any more than she already has, and she promises that she's going to call you just as soon as she can."

The oppressive hold of disappointment fastened around Rachel upon hearing that. She wrapped her hands around her coffee cup and scratched her nails over the join in the cardboard cup, nodding after not too long to at least acknowledge it. "Is she going to be staying with you?"

"Only temporarily. She asked me if I would look at some apartment listings and go along and view the ones she didn't immediately dismiss based off of one word in the ad. I appreciated having something else to fill my time with. I took photographs of inside the apartments and the building and she's going to view the ones she liked, granted they're still available."

It was a smart, responsible decision that Quinn had made and Rachel loved her for it, but having been working towards the reunion for the next couple of weeks she found it tough to break away from the dissatisfaction of not having an immediate number of days or weeks given to her, though she did try her hardest to look at the bigger picture and at least didn't allow her disappointment to be verbal. Quinn had told her of the way her face always had a lot to say and Rachel was sure that she had no control over that.

"Are you living in the city now?" Rachel asked.

"No, sweetie," Judy answered kindly. "Ohio is still my home. I re-married last year and my husband's work is there; it wouldn't be fair of me to ask him to move here. At least not right now. But I have been in New York for some time now. I wouldn't dream of leaving Quinnie more than a couple of days at a time like this, so I've been going back and forth every couple of weeks to see him, just a weekend at a time. There was only so much explaining I could do over the phone and I wanted him to understand."

"Does he?"

"He says so," Judy smiled. "But no, he's very supportive. And he never bats an eyelid at my credit card bills, bless him. Of course, that could also be the shock; one doesn't typically blink when they're out cold."

She saw that Rachel was trying to be positive and inwardly commended her on it at such a difficult time. Judy had been informed of the more-than-friendly nature of Quinn and Rachel's relationship during one of her first visits with Quinn in rehab. It was difficult to hear at first, and though she'd asked Quinn if she was positive —because Lord knows she knew it must have been difficult to meet a nice man who surrounded himself around drugs, there was a part of her that wasn't bowled over by it, didn't try to deny it. Judy had a lot of time over the past years to reflect on a lot of things. One of the things that had always stuck with her was her daughter's perfunctory smiles around most of the boys she'd dated in school. They used to spike right through Judy in the middle of the night sometimes when she'd lay awake and think about Quinn, wonder where she was and what she was doing; if she was happy. If she was even alive. Admittedly, Judy didn't know Quinn the way a mother should know her daughter, but she did know that Quinn had never truly been in love the last time she'd seen her. Quinn had loved by then, but she had never been in love.

Judy had never seen Quinn shine with it back then.

To be perfectly honest, it wasn't an ideal situation. Faith didn't play the biggest role in her disappointment but the way Quinn would be treated and targeted by other people. It wasn't easy to think about yet, but Judy had tried to come to peace with it and was doing her best to learn to accept it in a way that didn't make her sit across from the woman of her daughter's affections and nervously smooth out her clothes. By nobody's standards was that an easy thing to do, not for a woman like her, but she had spent the past two and half months supporting her daughter through a drug addiction. When taking that blow into consideration, sexuality wasn't as important as it may have been six to eight years ago.

No matter how dark Quinn's secrets and thoughts, the fact remained that Judy slept sounder when she was awarded glances into her daughter's head. Quinn had cried during their first therapy session (and almost every one after that, as well), and Judy took a deep breath and separated the hands neatly folded in her lap, placing one on top of Quinn's as she told her that there was nothing in the world she wanted Quinn to feel like she had to hide from her. And remarkably, she still meant it. She wouldn't be making an announcement in the paper or broadcasting it to every friend and neighbour any time soon, but if people should ask, she imagined that she would choose her words carefully and tell people that Quinn was happy with who she was, and that was more than enough for her.

Quinn had grown up in so many ways that Judy missed out on but she could see the new woman that Quinn was becoming, far different from the angry young woman who had left the house years ago and never looked back, and she knew that the reason for the change mainly stemmed from her daughter's old friends and Rachel. Judy would forever be grateful to their positive influence.

"She'll call me?" Rachel asked after processing it a little more.

"Yes," Judy confirmed. "She was very clear about that."

"I think it's a good idea. Would you tell her that? And that I'm glad she's thinking about the future realistically and taking the time she needs. I know you can't put a time frame on her recovery and I wouldn't ever want her to. There's no rush. Whenever she's ready."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate that, Rachel. Just as much as I do." The barely perceptible nod prompted Judy to lean forward and hesitantly touch her fingers to Rachel's, a brief contact but contact all the same. "Rachel, I really want to make sure you understand how thankful I am for you, for the role you've played in all of this. Well, all of you. You've all been such wonderful friends, and…more than friends, however that situation currently stands. Quinn said what a strong, wonderful person you were and after hearing some of the stories about how you handled situations, well, I don't know about wonderful. You must be a saint. Lord knows it can't have been easy."

"No," Rachel agreed, her smile sobering quickly to give way to a pinch of her brows. "No, it was never easy, but it was something that I adapted to and faced head-on every day without really thinking about it. It's funny, I didn't… I never forgot about the drugs, not for a second, but there were moments when it all sort of faded away. I'd be looking at Quinn or we'd be hanging out, alone or with the group, and she would act normal and I would stop worrying for a few minutes because it was Quinn and she was back after so many years, you know?" Her head inclined forward. "It was always a bit of rude awakening when she'd be different again."

"I can imagine."

"She was also great with me; so patient when I know I pushed her to her limits. It wasn't just Quinn who made a lot of mistakes along the way, that's for sure. But at the same time, despite how serious things were, it wasn't all bad. We had fun," Rachel said. "We all had good times together that didn't feel tainted or influenced in any way. It wasn't always like Quinn was out of her mind. I had such a warped view and opinion of addicts before her. I thought all drug addicts were, like, dregs of society and horrible, unworthy people who were so different from everybody I have ever known, but they're not. At least not most of them. They're just regular people who made bad choices and got lost somewhere along the way."

Judy lifted her eyebrows as if she understood exactly what Rachel meant by that. It was the sad truth of too many people in the world.

X

The rhythmic sounds of Rachel's feet treading down as she ran could be heard over the music playing. After sharing gym time with a kind elderly gentleman who took a brisk walk on the treadmill beside her for a little over thirty minutes, she was finally the only resident of her building currently making use of the gym. She was burning off the nervous kind of energy prior to a meeting with the label execs. Rachel wasn't entirely sure what they wanted to talk to her about —Johnny promised he wasn't keeping it from her, he just didn't know, and odds were it wouldn't be anything to worry about but she'd woken up restless and the added pressure of an impromptu meeting with the boss had turned her anxious. An early morning run hadn't helped, but perhaps a midday one would.

That was, if Kurt would stop calling her to talk about an adventurous recipe he had mastered for dinner last night. She got it; he could cook, and she was certainly excited at the prospect of eating food that she hadn't had to cook for herself but there was only so much enthusiasm she could offer without him getting suspicious at the telling high tone of her voice. The end of their last phone call had been him reminding her about the time of the barbeque being thrown in two weeks' time at Mercedes and Sam's rental. The group were flying in to keep their promise of seeing each other as regularly as they could all manage it, and every few months happened to be the most realistic goal for most of them. Rachel didn't need reminding of such an event but it was a pleasant reminder all the same, and she could always use more of those.

Her phone rang again a mere handful of minutes since the last time and she reached up to her ear to accept it, still running.

"Kurt, I love you but please don't subject me to that story again," she said pre-emptively, forgoing a proper greeting. "I don't have it in me to act interested anymore."

"What story?"

Rachel's rhythm was thrown out of whack and pure instinct was the only reason she didn't end up on the floor; rapidly latching each hand onto the side bars and lifting herself up from the track before any damage could be inflicted. She stared ahead blankly, breathing heavily. "Quinn."

The dazed tone prompted a barely audible breath of laughter. "Hi, Rachel."

Shock paralysed Rachel for another second longer. "Hi," she responded automatically, shaking her head a second later, a smile taking over her face. "Oh, my god, hey. Hi. H-how are you? When did you get out?"

"Stronger," Quinn stated wistfully. "And a little under an hour? Maybe forty-five minutes. My Mom wanted to go for coffee but I couldn't go in the shop and do something as simple as place an order without thinking that it should be you I was talking to, so I brought it away with me and here I am."

The past three months had been littered with occasions where Rachel's mind was plagued with questions she wanted to ask Quinn, things she made mental and literal notes to talk to her about when they had the opportunity to speak again, but now that the moment had arisen her mind was blank.

"What kind of coffee?"

Quinn was still drinking the last few mouthfuls of it. "Regular black," she answered, sounding amused. "Should I have texted you first? I didn't think. Are you busy? I can call back whenever you want."

"Don't you dare hang up," Rachel commanded. "And no, of course not, I'm sorry. You just surprised me; my heart's beating so fast for you," she admitted, one hand over her chest. "I had so many things to say but my mind is blank, I don't— I don't know why."

"I missed you," Quinn said. "So much. I can't wait to see you."

"I missed you too, Quinn. When do you think it will be?"

"As soon as I can. I mean, I know I'm going to have to live with it to really understand how I'm going to cope with being in recovery —because that's never going away; I'm always going to be a recovering addict, but I feel like I need to be… not alone, I know I'm not alone, but I need to know how I'm going to cope when I'm not surrounded by people twenty-four seven. I need to know that I can cope when it's just me."

"Are you scared?"

"Do you think I should be?"

Rachel smiled. "No. I know you can do anything."

"I'm a little nervous," Quinn confessed. "But not scared. Feel pretty confident, actually. I've just gotten used to being around and interacting with certain people at certain points of the day, it's going to be strange to break the routine of it."

"You can call them for support, right?"

"Yes. I have numbers to call for support and appointments with my therapist and case worker to track progression or regression. They haven't just kicked me out. I'm nowhere close to being fixed in a lot of ways, but I am ready to be out."

Rachel had heard Quinn's voice whenever she caught the group's single on the radio or if it happened to play on her iPod, but she was trying to get used to hearing Quinn's speaking voice again. She had to remind herself to not listen so hard in case she missed anything. "You sound different," she observed softly.

"I feel different. The people there were incredible. I've learned so much about myself in such a short amount of time, it's pretty amazing."

"Quinn, I can't…even begin to explain how proud I am of you."

"Are you finally speechless?"

"For now," Rachel laughed. This had been such a long time coming, but she didn't doubt that the right words would present themselves to her eventually. "Don't count on it lasting long."

"So, what am I keeping you from?"

"Nothing at all."

"I'm going to be pretty embarrassed if you don't tell me that I interrupted a jog or some rigorous stretching when you answered the phone breathing heavily."

"I was running," Rachel stressed lightly. She could practically see the awkward expression covering Quinn's face. "Why would I answer Kurt's call if I was doing anything close to that?"

"I don't know."

"I was trying to burn off all of the nervous energy I had." She went on to tell Quinn all about the meeting she had to be at in a few hours' time and how well the single and album did, how grateful the victims were to them. Rachel went to get more comfortable and then her topics strayed for a wider conversation. She told Quinn about her adventures of the past three months; including how she celebrated both Christmas and Hanukah, her trips, the book, and the pasta machine. Falling back into a routine of sharing herself with Quinn was effortless.

X

As it turned out, the meeting was nothing for Rachel to have fretted over.

She was asked how she would feel at the chance of recording another album with the group, if it was something she would be interested in while also being reassured that it would not take away from their interest at her solo material or cut into any acting performances she may be auditioning for in the near future.

Her first question was to find out what everybody else had said, but being as she was the first person to be approached regarding the new opportunity she wasn't given an answer. Everybody else was to be called in for a meeting or, if inconvenient, called or be a part of a video conference over the next week.

Rachel couldn't be sure of what her friends would say; she knew they had their own lives and dreams, but her answer was obvious from the moment the words had registered.

X

The reunion had been a loud, squealing mess when Rachel arrived at Sam and Mercedes' house. Hugs and kisses and stories of the past couple of months aside, Rachel steered the conversation towards the prospect of working together again by not being subtle at all.

They were all standing or sitting around the table on the patio waiting for their food to cook on the grill and thankful for the outside heaters positioned around so that none of them would grow hypothermic during lunch when Rachel candidly asked, "So, when are we recording our next album?"

There was an exchange of cash between several people and Finn looked especially dismayed at losing another bet involving Rachel. "Couldn't you have at least waited until we were eating?"

"Do you know how hard it was to wait even this long? It took every bit of self-control I have, Finn."

"Your restraint is really something."

Rachel flicked a peanut shell at him for his sarcasm. "So," she pressed on excitedly, "what do you guys think?"

"It's a lot to think about," Puck sighed thoughtfully, missing a quirk of her brow.

"You've had ten days. That's two-hundred and forty hours to decide on a yes or no answer."

"Well, when you put it like that…" he trailed off with a roll of his eyes.

"We already have the talent," Rachel reasoned. "And the offer, the studio, and most importantly, the fans. This isn't a gamble. And we'll all be together again. We don't have to live in each other's pockets or anything —we'll still have our own lives and projects, but won't it be nice to work together for just us, with no immediate rush to get everything recorded? We can take our time and be surrounded by amazing people while we write incredible music." Rachel expected an immediate agreement from him. She thought she'd really sold it.

"I have regular customers," he fretted. "Some real nice old people. What if some other dude tries to rip them off?"

"Recommend a good one!" she came back with, a little shrill. Puck's indecision was written all over his face and Rachel was softer the next time. "Recommend a friend, someone you trust, and tell your favourites that you'll be back in town during certain dates and to call you if they're desperate."

Puck's lip jutted out as he considered it. "That could work."

"Of course it could," she smiled confidently. Rachel turned to look at everybody else. "So?"

"I'm so in," Tina grinned.

A rapid chorus of agreement from everybody else followed and Rachel cheered loudly, reaching beside her to squeeze Puck's hand hard enough for a flicker of discomfort to flash over his face. Some of them were happy at the prospect of quitting their regular jobs but not everybody was jumping up and down in their seats at the idea of it. Brittany was attached to more than a handful of children at the nursery in LA and it would be difficult to leave them again. It was hard enough to say goodbye when they left themselves. At least the day care company was run by a close friend and she could go back and visit them whenever she wanted. Being around all of her friends again and get paid for it was too good to pass up. Maybe she and Mike could even work some choreography into their performances.

Finn couldn't help but catch Rachel's infectious enthusiasm and laughter, but there was one thing he wanted to say; something everybody had agreed to before Rachel had arrived. "Rach, you know there's a condition for this, right?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes, but don't get greedy. The label will only agree to so much."

As if Finn Hudson had a list of demands. He was still a simple guy. "I think —we think— we should only do this is if Quinn's in. A full group. What'd she say about all of this?"

The group had all heard about Rachel's phone calls with Quinn and knew that they had been speaking regularly for the past couple of weeks.

"It hasn't come up," she edged.

"It hasn't come up?" Mercedes doubted that.

"We've had more pressing matters to discuss, Mercedes."

"Like how you wish it was her hand sliding under your skirt?" Puck cut in, purely for the reaction. He got his wish in the form of a harsh twist of his fingers.

"No!" Rachel swallowed but turned almost bashful. She could feel her face heating and hoped it wasn't enough to be obvious. "She's got a lot on her plate right now, I-I didn't want to pressure her with work."

"So you ask her how she feels about it," he said, rationally this time.

"I never thought of that," she said airily, the mocking quality going right over his head.

"It's what I'm here for, babe."

Mike clapped Puck on the shoulder on the way to help Kurt and Blaine turn the meat and kebabs on the grill while Brittany nudged Santana and lifted a wine glass to her lips, subtly turning her watch to Santana's line of sight. In turn, Santana kicked Sam underneath the table. He coughed some Coke out of his throat at the unexpectedness of it, and then tried to keep the glint out of his eyes. Mercedes rubbed his back soothingly and checked her phone which was hiding beside a large salad bowl and a pitcher of a virgin cocktail. She slid her hand around to his side after a second, squeezing lightly.

Sam looked across the table to Finn. "Dude, did you bring the meat-free stuff out for Rachel?"

"I thought you were doing it."

"I asked you to."

"No, you didn't," Sam denied.

Finn managed to appear genuinely confused. "Oh. Sorry, man, thought I did." He pushed his chair backwards and made an attempt to move when Rachel spoke out, shooting up off her chair.

"I'll go."

Artie was quick to shake his head and roll into action before Rachel could take a step. "Lady, sit your butt down and allow me."

She sat back down slowly with a pleasantly surprised curve of her lips, delighted at the gesture. It was forgotten when Tina asked her if they would all have equal say in what material was valid to be considered for their album. Rachel knew Tina had her own fans from before their first album, mainly from her covers of songs made famous by other people, but she also knew that Tina had been working on original material for a couple of years now and would be thrilled to hear some more of it. If the execs weren't quite so excited then she would make it her mission to get them onboard, but she had already been promised that they would be considered a group instead of a various artists act. Each and every member was crucial and had something different to offer to attract and ensure a wider fan base, and the label would do anything to keep that.

Rachel assured Tina that she would have a valid say in what went into the album, creative freedom and all, and couldn't wait to get together and hear her songs. "I've also been putting pen to paper lately."

Finn, having been eavesdropping, grimaced. Tina noticed and Rachel's eyes followed to catch the end of the expression before it smoothed off his face. She chuckled and stretched her hand out to pat his forearm. "My songwriting skills have improved since high school, honey." When his toothy smile looked forced, she added, "I wrote seventy per-cent of my debut album! Three of the four singles were number one or at least in the top three, and it stayed in the top ten sellers list for—"

Finn knew what had caused Rachel's sentence to die abruptly and turned around with a truly genuine smile to see their guest of honour standing beside Artie, who had a lipstick print on his cheek that had yet to be wiped off.

Quinn laughed softly at the screams of her friends and the way that most of them abandoned their seats and the grill to rush over and hug her. She embraced each of them equally as fiercely and told them all how good it was to see them as well, looking over Finn's shoulder when he lifted her off the ground to stare at Rachel behind him.

Rachel's eyes burned and her chest caught and throbbed at the sight. She couldn't even speak properly. What came out to Tina, who was halfway out of her seat to greet Quinn herself, was a breathy, tremulous garble. "Did you know?" She couldn't breathe and she would find her hands to be shaking if she looked down but she didn't think to. Rachel mirrored Tina's action of rising out of her seat without thinking about it.

"Of course we knew," Tina confirmed happily before rushing off to be next in line to hug Quinn. At least this time it was a good secret they kept.

Rachel found Quinn to still be surrounded by the time she walked by her on the way inside the house, leaving the door open. She blew out a nervous breath and had just enough time to smooth out her hair and clothes and feel anxious at the wait, which couldn't have been more than half a minute at most when Quinn walked up to the door and closed it behind her.

Quinn smiled nervously but sincerely when it was just the two of them. Keeping this little secret from Rachel for almost two whole weeks had been murder; she'd nearly slipped up so many times. But it had all been worth it to see the look on her face when she walked out.

The past three and a half months had been worth it to see the look on her face.

They met in the middle of the kitchen.

Being pressed so tightly together could only mean that after so long, Rachel felt the thunderous beat of Quinn's heart against her own chest and was positive Quinn would feel the same sensation against hers, but the last time they were in a room together Rachel's had raced then too, while Quinn's struggled to beat at all. Rachel tried to hold her closer.

Quinn looked so different; so healthy and vibrant and alive that Rachel wasn't embarrassed for the tears that had spilled out. This was how she had pictured Quinn to look that day she walked down the hallway to 8E for the first time, but it was only ever when she saw Quinn in the flesh that she realised how poor of a substitute her imagination was for how beautiful Quinn really was.

"Quinn," Rachel whispered.

Quinn's hands began to move on Rachel's back when she felt her crying; large, comforting strokes. It aided both of them. To be able to touch Rachel again… "It's okay."

Both of them were reluctant to separate, but eventually Rachel had to. She pulled back slightly, close enough for Quinn's arms to fall around her hips instead, and reached up to brush back long, choppy blonde hair. She kept one hand on Quinn's face and closed her eyes, tipping her head forward. Rachel had gone to the barbeque in casual footwear, meaning that Quinn in her wedges was too tall for Rachel to lean her forehead against Quinn's like she really wanted to. She found it to matter less when she felt the warm press of Quinn's mouth against her forehead instead.

"I really hope you feel as incredible as you look," she said, feeling Quinn smile against her skin. "You look so good; healthy."

"I feel amazing."

Rachel couldn't stop touching her and she tilted her head back up to be able to take in all of the wonderful changes as well as the aching comfort and familiarity that was just Quinn, no matter what. "God, I missed you so much, Quinn."

"You have no idea."

Quinn felt Rachel's hand shift in her hair, spreading further across to hold the back of her head while a more serious look filled her eyes. Quinn would have been blind not to identify it and an idiot not to recognise the same desire rushing to every cell in her own body. She waited to see if Rachel would change her mind and, when she didn't, leaned down to close +the distance. Rachel met her halfway, eagerly accepting her mouth against her own to convey over three months' worth of longing.

Rachel had recalled their kisses during their separation many times, but much like the way in which her imagination failed to live up to Quinn in the flesh, she hadn't been able to fully grasp how greatly it affected and thrilled her until it was happening.

Quinn's hands tightened at Rachel's hips, sliding their mouths together hotly as the pads of Rachel's fingers pressed harder against her scalp, trying to pull Quinn's mouth firmer against her own. It was an impossible task but one that Rachel saw fit to attempt several times, manoeuvring the other hand from Quinn's back to travel a steady path upwards until she had each side of Quinn's head in her hands, able to press the full length of their bodies more tightly together.

The topic of where their relationship stood had been brought up during several of their conversations during the past couple of weeks, and though they had both been honest that it was both too soon to rush right into anything and that three months was long enough for a substantial shift in feelings when taking into consideration that they had barely had the chance to be together before the overdose, not enough had changed that either of them could think of doing anything else. They had a lot of things to discuss, lines to draw and expectations and needs to be expressed on both sides, but it all felt like things that could wait until later when Rachel's tongue slipped into Quinn's mouth. Different needs had to come first.

Rachel remembered the layout of the kitchen well enough to walk backwards and tug Quinn with her until they bumped into the counter.

Her hands fell from Quinn's head, leisurely moving down her body until they rested upon the curve of her ass. Rachel hadn't intended for that to happen, forgetting to keep them at the small of her back instead, but Quinn's kisses muddled her thoughts to where she couldn't process much else besides each press and slide of lips and the way Quinn's mouth made her body heat.

Not even a heavy thud against the glass of the back door broke them apart.

Puck couldn't see much, and he tried his best to be a gentleman and kept his eyes averted —to a degree. But he saw enough to know that there wasn't much talking going on. "Cut it out," he said in faux exasperation. "Save the good stuff till later. Right now you should get out here and hang, eat good food; build up your energy for when the sun goes down."

Neither of them could exactly ignore his voice. Quinn smiled and then laughed delicately at how his statement had added to the colour of her face. She leaned back in and nuzzled Rachel's face, brushing her nose over silky skin until she kissed Rachel's cheek; long and impulsive.

"Do you want to kill him, or should I?"

Rachel turned and gave Quinn one final kiss on the lips before pulling away. One glance to the door confirmed that Puck had already scampered. She was charmed by the minor embarrassment to Quinn's face. "Ignore him."

If Quinn had felt any bit of mortification at getting caught in an intimate embrace with Rachel, it disappeared when she saw the open amusement in Rachel's eyes, unaware of the smear of lipstick over and around her mouth. She grinned at the sight and spent the time to carefully wipe it away with Rachel doing the same to her afterwards.

There was no doubt in Quinn's mind that Puck had announced to everyone what she and Rachel had been doing —and she didn't care as long as she wasn't caught doing it, because kissing was acceptable around friends and family but making out was a different story and she couldn't help but want that privacy, especially as she and Rachel being Quinn and Rachel was so new, and not even a definite thing yet. Despite the sure-fire way that their friends had been clued in, Rachel still carried out an armful of extra plates that absolutely would not get used unless the residents from the entire block would be joining them.

"The extra plates you asked for," Rachel announced, grateful to place the heavy load onto the table. She turned to find Quinn directly behind her, carrying the other stack. She smiled slowly, an intimate glint to her eyes. "Thank you, Quinn," she said politely, getting flustered when Quinn purposely brushed their hands together on the exchange.

Mercedes lifted a brow. "Girl, who do you think is coming for lunch?"

Rachel shrugged. "You asked for them."

"I didn't mention anything about plates."

"No, I think you did," she hastened to say.

Mercedes gave her a pitying laugh. She knew what had happened in the kitchen even without Puck's little declaration a minute ago. "All right, Rach, guess I forgot. Thank you for those."

While Quinn required treatment for an addiction, alcohol was not one of them. Kurt had talked to Quinn on the phone just last night to ask if she would be comfortable with alcohol being present and so Blaine felt confident enough to hold two bottles of wine up to her so they could toast. He was relieved when Quinn chose the white and filled a small glass for her.

A multitude of questions were directed at Quinn after that.

She did her best to answer them and sat down beside Brittany when her hand was taken and tugged on. It was on the other end of the table to Rachel but she couldn't deny how much she had missed all of her friends. It was good to be so close to them again.

She'd just finished telling them about some of the other patients she had met there —friends she had made— when she decided that she'd like to hear about their lives, too. They must have been up to incredible things in the past few months. "So, what about you guys?" Everyone looked to each other and she smiled around a small sip of wine. After not drinking a drop of alcohol in over three months, it was sharp on her tongue. It would be her first and only glass of wine for the day. "Come on, ladies," she prompted, adding, "and gents," as an afterthought.

"We're making a new album!" Finn declared passionately, unable to contain his excitement.

Rachel's face fell and she side-eyed him darkly.

Quinn smiled at the sight. She'd gotten that phone call, as well. It was something she was still weighing up in her head, grateful to the label for the congratulations on her recovery and how they made her the same offer regarding the album in spite of her recent personal trouble while also assuring her to mull the decision over "Not exactly small news," she commented. "That's amazing. Congratulations on the offer."

"Yeah, but, like, we don't want to do it without you. You think maybe you could join us, if it isn't too much pressure?"

Rachel scratched the back of her neck, a plastic smile stuck to her face as she turned to him. "Stop talking," she said through her teeth.

Blaine felt sorry for Finn and decided to steer the subject away from work. "Quinn, I'm sorry, I can't keep it to myself for a second longer. You look breathtaking. You always were, but this right now? Wow."

Kurt nodded. "In spite of how slimy my boyfriend managed to make that sound, I'm going to have to agree," he said, meaning it more when she smiled at him.

Rachel could recite poetry at Quinn's beauty but refrained from subjecting their friends to that just yet. It would only procure teasing jibes and dry-heaving. She made no promises for the future though, and settled for following Quinn's almost every move with her eyes, trying to get used to being able to see her in the flesh again.

While Quinn held the attention of the entire table and Mike —who was still minding the grill, Finn's large hand covered Rachel's smaller one. "I'm really sorry if I said something I wasn't supposed to. But it could be really different this time. Like you said, there's no rush with this one. She's different. Less pressure all around, you know?"

Rachel nodded compassionately. "It's okay. After last time, I just worry, you know?"

"Totally understandable," he said. "At least ask her about it?"

"Of course." Rachel turned her hand over and held his, giving it a gentle squeeze as she focused back on the conversation taking place down the table.

"Did you learn anything?" Brittany asked. "You know, like when you go to jail you learn a trade for good behaviour. Was it like that?"

"Learned how to swim," Quinn replied, finding Rachel to already be looking at her when she sought out eye-contact.

That would forever be the most valuable thing she could have ever been taught. Quinn would never forget the people who had equipped her with that skill. She had felt like she was drowning so many times before, not just over the past six years, and she now understood that expectations placed on her, by others or herself, didn't have to sweep over her like a tidal wave if they weren't met to her previous perfect standards. Past regrets and disappointments didn't have the power to pull her under any longer, either.

"Awesome," Brittany replied, unsure if Quinn was being literal but proud of her nonetheless.

"So, what's freedom feel like after three months?" Puck asked.

Quinn took a second to consider it. "I don't know, I kind of feel like freedom came when I checked into rehab, and a lot of the time before that was prison."

"Wow."

"I know," she agreed coyly. "Can you tell I've been in therapy?"

Puck smiled because he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. "But it feels good, right?"

"It feels… You know, good doesn't begin to cover it."

"We're so proud of you," Santana added seriously, wanting that out there again, making a toast to her friend's recovery. "You're like a fucking rockstar."

Quinn raised her glass and clinked it against each glass or beer bottle that came close enough to hers. Tina practically threw herself over the table to stretch over and clink her glass to Quinn's, misty-eyed at the sight of her friend looking so much better than she had three months ago. The only person who hadn't toasted was Rachel, who was muttering something to Finn. Quinn wasn't sure what they were saying and she was certain she was being rude but she still stood up.

"Finn, would you mind if I stole your seat?"

Finn had been in the middle of telling Rachel, who had asked the same question, that he didn't feel particularly inclined to move as he was comfortable where he was, but as soon as the words were out of Quinn's mouth his body sprung up. His action was abrupt and ill co-ordinated, managing to knock the table and send an almost empty bottle of wine on its side.

"Crap. Sorry, guys," he mumbled, righting it before stepping aside to allow Quinn to sit down in his place. His effort to move had been worth it to see look that Quinn and Rachel shared, and he couldn't help but lean down and press a long, playful kiss to Quinn's face, his arms wrapped around her neck. This is what was supposed to have happened. When they were recording the first album and he used to imagine the future, this is kind of almost how he pictured it. Quinn always had the strength to get here.

Even in high school, underneath the lingering hurt caused by the little girl growing inside of Quinn — whom he'd fallen in love with— not being his, he always knew that of Quinn. When he thought of her, the first words to spring to mind were always 'force of nature' and 'gorgeous.' Nothing had changed.

Rachel insisted on toasting to Quinn's recovery now that they were close together.

Quinn was licking her lips of residual wine when she thought of a question to ask her. When everybody impatiently queried how long it would take for their meat to finish cooking, she seized the opportunity to ask it. "How was the field?"

A laugh bubbled out of Rachel. "Wonderful? Exhilarating? A little chilly at times?"

"Quinn!" Mercedes screeched.

Quinn's face was still lit up at Rachel's response when she turned to Mercedes, putting her hand on top of Rachel's on the table. "Yes?"

"Where's your Mom?"

Brittany laughed unreservedly. "Did you only just notice she wasn't here?"

"She's at my new place," Quinn said.

Mercedes stared blankly. "Why is she there? I told you to bring her!"

"She didn't want to impose!"

"Girl, give me your phone. I'll call her. Let her try to say no to me."

Judy arrived a little while later with dessert, an unsteady smile and an awkwardly hesitant wave. Quinn was out of her seat first, whispering something in her mother's ear that seemed to loosen some of the tension coiled in her shoulders. The first genuine smile was directed towards Rachel, though, who had gotten up from her seat to walk over and greet her with a warm one-armed hug.

Everybody was polite and welcoming to Judy, something she appreciated greatly considering the stories she knew they'd more than likely heard about her in the past. The conversation ran effortlessly and there hadn't been a single squabble in at least ten minutes when Mike asked what Judy would like to eat, listing off all of the meat products already cooked and put to keep warm on the shelf above the grill. Finn and Puck both took it upon themselves to fill Judy's plate. To score points, really. High school almost felt like a lifetime ago but after everything that had happened with dating Quinn and the fact that it was Quinn's mother sitting there, they wanted to make a good impression to show that they'd grown into mature, responsible men.

It didn't make quite the impression that they hoped for but Judy wasn't inept at picking up on signals and she understood what they were trying to do all the same. When an over-filled plate filled with various meats and salad was placed down in front of her, each of them holding a side until it was sturdy on the table, Judy offered them a thankful nod of her head and placed a napkin over her lap the way Quinn had done when she'd sat down with her food.

"Thank you, Finn," Judy said, catching his puppy smile before she faced to the right. "Thank you, Noah."

She'd been gracious but the guys' paranoia picked up on a tone in her voice and a flash of something in her eyes. Like a mother's natural protectiveness, or something. They weren't sure. They just knew they would have to be on their best behaviour. It was all in their heads, obviously. Puck ran into Judy from time to time back home. They weren't exactly on good terms —or any terms, really— but she had never tried to run him down in her car, either.

The food had long been finished when Judy looked up from her conversation with Mercedes, who she found to be delightful, and spotted Quinn and Rachel standing around the drink's table a short distance away with Sam and Artie. Rachel added a garnish to a red cocktail and presented it towards Quinn who made a show of wincing before taking a sip. She smiled privately at her daughter's immediate reaction; the way her eyes squeezed shut, turning swiftly to the side with her hand over her mouth and straightening a second later to raucous laughter. Quinn's mouth hung wide open, a revolted expression pinching her brows together.

"Rachel," Quinn shivered in disgust and shook her shoulders to work some of the fire out of her chest. "Oh God, that is…"

"Delicious?"

"Disgusting."

"What? It's good!" Rachel chuckled, taking the glass from Quinn's hand to offer it to Artie or Sam. They both hastily declined.

"Dare you."

She took Quinn's challenge head on, downing the cocktail in four long gulps. "Roadkill Rachel's for everyone!" she exclaimed afterwards, pretending not to hear the groans.

Judy was unsure of the contents to such a drink but she didn't allow herself to be concerned for too long when she could clearly see the way Quinn looked at Rachel. It wasn't hard to spot once they were together. Quinn shone around her.

Santana didn't bother to hide her displeasure when Rachel began to traipse over with two cocktails, one for her and the other for Judy. "Don't drink it," she forewarned. "It tastes like acid."

Rachel placed Judy's drink down first, complete with a napkin and Judy was surprised with the vibrant colour of it up close. "Oh. Thank you, darling."

"My pleasure," Rachel responded eagerly, smiling encouragingly at Santana when she presented her friend with hers, sans napkin. "Enjoy."

Santana gave her the thumbs up and waited until Rachel's back was turned to toss the contents of her glass over her shoulder. "Trust me," she said to Judy's arched brow.

X

Quinn had kept many journals in rehab for lots of different reasons, but one was specifically reserved for the dreams that came regularly and vividly now that her mind was clean. She wrote down every one of them that she could remember; even the pieces that didn't connect. With her more outlandish dreams, she spent some of her free time tracing over the words to make them stand out on the page, adding doodles and captions to the paper.

Rachel was enthralled with it when Quinn gave it to her the first time she went over to visit Quinn's new apartment after their sixth official date—a vast improvement to the other one, even if Rachel did find the old one sort of charming in a strange way. She only put the journal down and stopped her animated commentary on it when Quinn got up from the couch to get her ringing phone from the bedroom a little while later and Rachel realised she hadn't seen it yet. More than curious, she followed, pausing in the doorway.

Quinn's new room was slightly bigger than her old one but not spacious enough to be considered large. It was still New York and Quinn was by no means rich right now, even if she had reluctantly accepted a loan from her mother when she'd just been released from the clinic with the promise to pay her back with interest. The walls were painted a soft neutral colour that was pleasing to the eye and Rachel scanned the room with her eyes, taking in the furniture and pictures hung up on the walls before she padded across the thick cream-coloured carpet to Quinn's bed. It was also new; king-sized instead of a double. Rachel had to push up on her toes and lift her other knee up fairly high to kneel up onto it but it was already something she didn't mind doing when she crawled over the soft plushness of it to reach Quinn on the other side of the bed.

Quinn was in the middle of listening to Johnny talk to her about a meeting for tomorrow when the bed shifted with Rachel's movements. She smiled when short arms wrapped around her neck from behind, and reached up to hold and rub Rachel's forearm as she finished up on the phone.

Rachel dotted several kisses to the side of Quinn's face and below her ear to pass the time.

"It's late, Johnny," Rachel said loudly after being patient for almost an entire minute.

Quinn leaned back against her for that, smiling at Johnny's response on the phone. "I know, I can't take her anywhere," she said. "Yeah, I'll be there. Should I bring coffee?" Their meeting would be early and though she didn't necessarily need caffeine to start her day, it was an olive branch. She wanted to make more of an effort with him this time around. She wanted him to like her. Even if she hadn't decided about the album yet, he was still an important connection for Rachel and kept her secret when it didn't benefit him to do so.

Rachel was pleased when the call ended shortly after, moving to the other side of the bed where she was comfortably propped up with two pillows. She raised a shoulder casually once Quinn turned around to her. "You have to be firm with him."

"Is that what you call it?"

"What else would you call it?"

Quinn smirked as she crawled over to her. "I don't know, I can think of a few things."

"Enlighten me."

"Rather kiss you, but okay," Quinn started, stopping her ascent over Rachel's body to move over to her own side of the bed.

Rachel swiftly rose up to fist the material of Quinn's dress and pull her back down. Quinn braced a hand on the pillow beside Rachel's head, entertained by the surprising show of strength until she was being kissed. It didn't matter how often it had occurred over the past couple of weeks, or whatever way it happened, being with Rachel like this was still the quickest way to make her feel alive and be grateful for that.

Her arm bent to curl around Rachel's head instead, lowering herself onto Rachel's side more fully. They'd never kissed in bed before; it was nice. More than nice. When Rachel kissed her more deeply, dragging a stationary hand down Quinn's shoulder and back until it was firmly planted on one of her favourite parts of Quinn's body, Quinn's hand had its own wander. And when they stopped kissing and started making out, growing bolder and more heated with each kiss and brush of tongues, Rachel braced her foot against the mattress and pushed her weight over to overpower Quinn underneath, not that she needed much persuasion to be under Rachel anyway.

Rachel kissed her the way she'd fantasized about on more than several occasions during their separation and was getting more than a little worked up when the lower half of her body shifted of its own accord. Quinn's responding hitch of breath against Rachel's mouth and the tightening of her fingers that roamed her back made Rachel do it again, this time to a quiet moan.

Quinn's retaliation to Rachel's senses was to kiss from her lips to her chin and then the soft curve of her jaw, encouraging a turn of Rachel's head until Quinn had her exactly where she wanted her; pressing long, broad kisses into her neck.

Quinn did something like that each time they would get caught up in each other and she felt her body respond to Rachel.

She'd had sex in the past few years. Not tons, but enough, and in enough ways and with enough different people to know that not being able to come had everything to do with her and nothing to do with her partners. It usually took her a while to even get stimulated down there, let alone hope for the grand finale. She eventually found out that it was likely the heroin in her system to blame for that but she'd never been able to properly put that theory to the test until recently.

Safe to say that theory was correct.

Quinn continued her ministrations until there was a heavier quality to Rachel's breaths and Rachel was pulling back sufficiently to look down at her with almost drunken eyes that could always read her like a book. Quinn watched Rachel observe her, almost; looking for signs that she always picked up on easily ever since high school, even when Quinn didn't want her to. Especially when Quinn didn't want her to.

Rachel leaned down to re-join their lips but it was different than before; it was long and sweet, and with a final soft peck to Quinn's mouth, Rachel moved off her. To dissolve any confusion or fear, she rubbed her hand over Quinn's stomach just as she prepared to climb down from the bed.

"I'm going to get my new favourite book," she said, smile bright.

Quinn's hand managed to brush over the back of Rachel's before she was off the bed and on her way out of the room. With the absence, Quinn was afforded a private moment where she could collect herself. Her body was buzzing and she closed her eyes, bringing a hand up to push her fingers through her hair. Quinn's dress had hiked up some during her activities with Rachel but not enough that she felt the need to pull it back down. It wasn't that she didn't want to be intimate with Rachel but more of a timing issue. She'd had numerous thoughts of being with Rachel like that but she needed to talk to her first; they both had to talk. While she could let a little heavy kissing pass, she didn't think it was fair to either of them if they did much more without talking first.

Quinn guessed that Rachel was giving her some extra time to herself because the new apartment was not that large and it wouldn't have taken a couple of minutes to retrieve a book that had been left open on the couch. She made the odd teasing comment about Rachel's little legs but they weren't that small.

Quinn appeared relieved when Rachel finally returned, in almost the exact position she had been left in. She watched Rachel climb up onto the bed and settle down, folding an arm behind her head as she held the pages of the journal open with the open fingers of her other hand. Rachel lay close to Quinn but not close enough because Quinn turned on her side to be closer to her, leisurely rubbing her hand over Rachel's stomach as dreams from months ago were read aloud, complete with giggles.

Rachel could feel the gaze on her as she read, silently or aloud, and after several pages she mirrored Quinn's position of turning onto her side, dropping the arm that had been casually slung around her own head to Quinn's pillows, stroking her fingers through blonde hair. The book was held between them now, Rachel smiling as she read the fascinating oddness to Quinn's unconscious mind, and also the dreams where Quinn's waking personality shone through.

The first touch of Quinn's hand trailing past the hem of Rachel's skirt and down the back of her thigh was enough to make her have to concentrate on the written words just that little bit harder, and when Quinn stopped at the back of Rachel's calf and easily lifted her leg to hook around her hip, Rachel stopped talking altogether.

"Go on," Quinn urged quietly. If Rachel kept looking at her like that, with darkened eyes bridled with curiosity and desire, she wouldn't be able to think.

Rachel thought on it for a second and curled her leg forward, aligning their bodies closer together before focusing back on the pages. She read silently for the most part, occasionally asking Quinn if she was sure she didn't embellish any details because some of them were almost too eccentric to be real.

"Did you meet anyone?" Quinn asked after a while, vulnerably curious. Working up the courage to ask in the first place had her forget to clarify the question.

Rachel looked away from some doodles. "What?"

"When I was away. Was there someone?"

"No," she frowned gently. They'd already had this conversation. Granted it had been over the phone not long after Quinn had gotten out of rehab, but still. Rachel took another glance at the page she'd been on before closing the book. "I told you, I haven't been with anyone since Tony."

"I don't mean sex, I mean in general. Did you meet anyone you clicked with?"

Rachel made a sound of mild displeasure that the topic hadn't died with her definite answer. "Quinn."

"Because I would want you to tell me," Quinn said honestly. "You can be honest with me; I won't go off the rails. There was no reason you couldn't have been happy with someone, even for a short amount of time. I would… I would want that for you. And I would understand."

"I can make someone up, if you want? If that would make you feel better."

Quinn slung her arm over Rachel's waist. "You know what I want."

"Quinn, the truth is that I meet incredible people all the time; you know, gorgeous a-and funny, and so smart and talented, but it doesn't always to lead to anything. For a lot of different reasons. And for what I hope to be the last time, I did not meet a potential significant other while my— while you were away."

"Why not?"

"I wasn't looking." That was the truth. "And honestly, considering everything that happened up until that point, it was nice taking some time to myself."

Quinn's doubts began to slither out of her head, relief loosening a knot in her stomach. "Okay."

Rachel suddenly recalled their previous conversation on if she had met anybody. They hadn't talked about Quinn. Rachel hadn't thought to ask her the same question and she wished now that she'd done it a lot sooner. "Was there someone for you?"

"Yeah, I really had the time and inclination to start something in there."

"It's not out of the realm of possibilities," Rachel challenged.

"It was for me," Quinn said. "I went there to find myself again, not anybody else. Trust me, my days were always full."

"But you met people you liked. You met friends there; people who could understand you on a level that maybe someone else couldn't even if they wanted to more than anything."

"Friends, yeah. Not anybody I could see myself being with."

Rachel pushed her lips together in response; a show of sympathy. "That's disappointing."

After spotting a teasing glint, Quinn's mouth quirked and she ran her hand as far up the back of Rachel's thigh as she dared to and then down again, repeating. "You look pretty torn up about that."

"Oh, I am."

Quinn had come a long way in a short amount of time but by no means was her work done. She didn't want Rachel to think that just because she was in a much better place than before it meant she'd been cured. She slowly turned serious again. "Rachel, you know I still have a long way to go, don't you?"

Rachel decided that Quinn probably wasn't talking about the placement of her hand, because, well, she would have had to disagree. "I know."

"I'm going to have to work on keeping myself healthy in every way possible for the rest of my life, but in order to do that I have to let go of the past, demons, and it's not easy. It won't be easy. I still have bad days and bad thoughts. I have to make the effort every day, even when I don't want to."

"I don't want easy, I want you."

A slow curve of Quinn's mouth set her eyes alight and she used the pads of her fingers and thumb to spread outwards and inwards on Rachel's thigh, unaware of how much it tickled, and still felt the need to add, "You don't have to decide right now, that's not what this is. I know it's a heavy decision. There's plenty of time for you to think about if you're ready for a relationship now, or ever. I'm going to need more patience and support and…ass-kicking than your typical partner would need. I'm at that place where I can give it all right back to you now, but it just…it's a lot. It's a lot, and I know that."

"Does it look like I need to think about it?" Rachel questioned, her leg still hiked over Quinn's hip. "I've been right here, Quinn, and I feel strong and positive and prepared for what your recovery entails. I've been doing a lot of reading about people who are in relationships or are even married to a recovering addict. I know what to expect. And in case I haven't proven it by now, I'm crazy about you. The question is really more directed towards you. Do you feel ready for a relationship? Because you know I'm not going anywhere any time soon. This is about both of us and we both have to be ready."

Quinn had spoken to her therapist about the possibility of being with Rachel when she was better. She'd been told of the dangers of a new relationship and the damage it could do to recovery and then how having a partner who was truly dedicated to keeping her clean could be exactly what she needed to help her flourish. Quinn, at the behest of her therapist, had considered being with someone different. It was difficult to imagine at first but it came to her eventually, although the woman remained faceless for the length of the exercise, Quinn couldn't truly picture a scenario totally free of doubt. She felt like she would constantly be paranoid that she was being judged, and her partner would frequently go through her things or ask if she was back on drugs at the slightest disturbance to routine.

She asked her therapist if he thought that entering a new relationship with someone who knew and stuck by her even during the worst times would be less of a danger than with one with a completely new person. He wasn't a huge help when he said that it would depend if Rachel was the type of person to dredge up the past and throw it in her face during new rough times that would inevitably come. If he was being honest and entirely objective, he would say that it could go either way. Rachel remembering the worst days could be a positive thing; knowing how far Quinn had come, and oppositely, Rachel would know how far Quinn could fall. The only way they would truly know for sure would be to take a chance. But a serious partner, whoever it turned out to be, would benefit greatly from shared appointments. Their relationship would have to be the truest form of a partnership to be successful.

"Do you know why I stopped coming over to your house after Beth?" Quinn asked.

"You didn't want to be my friend anymore."

Her first instinct was deny that, but it was more or less true. "When I think about back then, about our group or whatever you want to call it at that time, I think about the way that I thought of them. I thought of them as friends and treated them as such. I know I could have tried harder sometimes, made more of an effort in just about every area of my life, but I cared about them. Loved them."

Rachel picked up on the hint quickly. "We were friends, too. We were close; closer than I'd been with any of the other girls by that point."

"I know we were," Quinn said, running a comforting hand over Rachel's hip. "But it was also my friends and you. Rachel, in so many ways I thought of you as my friend, but there were so many more that I didn't. Like right now, the ways that I think about you are so different to how I think of our friends and any other good person I've ever had in my life. It's not— I've been here before. It wasn't breaking news when I realised that it'd happened again. But if you only knew how jarring that was to a teenager who hadn't long hidden or changed every little thing about herself so that people would stop picking on her. It was bad enough that I got pregnant, but to be...different in another way was like God was really giving me the finger, like maybe I was being punished for being weak enough to change myself in the first place."

"You survived the loneliest years," Rachel stated. "However a person makes it through those is a good thing. You got through it every day, so every day you were the strongest you'd ever been. Because it does get harder; dealing with the same crap all the time is exhausting and it hurts and you never think it's going to get better, but it does. When life throws something else at you, and it will, you have to tell yourself that you're so much stronger than the last time you faced something because it's a new day. You're the strongest you've ever been."

"When I was Lucy, I thought my loneliest years would be elementary and middle school. A few months at McKinley and I knew I'd been wrong about that. I mean, I had friends the first two years of Glee but it wasn't like now. Everyone was there for each other when it counted, but a lot of the time we were all wrapped up in teenage angst and drama. Maybe not to the extent that I believed —I know the way that I was back then probably affected my perception of things, but it's how I felt. I couldn't deal with things after Beth. My heart was broken, Rachel, in a way that I didn't think was possible, and I was so torn between wanting everyone to stay close to me and wanting you all as far away as I could get you. I couldn't decide which option was better; I just wanted to be able to control the decision."

Rachel tried to understand. "You were depressed because of Beth, and you thought not having friends would help?"

"No, I think I had a serious problem before that," Quinn admitted. "But I didn't acknowledge it or say anything because it wasn't the Fabray way. My Dad never believed in mental illness, especially depression. But Beth was a tipping point. I broke in a lot of ways after her. I lost control and I realised how bitter I was that I felt that way when I did finally have friends. All my life I'd dreamed about having those kinds of friends, but with senior year coming up I knew nothing would change with how I felt. All my accomplishments meant nothing to me when I had failures stacked up just as high, or if I thought about Beth or the way that nothing felt the way that it was supposed to. The years that were supposed to be my best turned out to be my worst and I was so angry, Rachel. I'd worked so hard and I felt like I'd gotten nowhere despite of that."

"Why didn't you let any of us help you?" Rachel asked, her voice sounding as mystified as she looked. Quinn had been so serious saying all of those things that the small smile that appeared on her face almost looked out of place in that moment.

"Do you know how hard it is for me to admit defeat, even now? Think about what it would have been like in high school. I would have murdered anyone who dared to say that I'd failed to my face."

The funny thing was that Rachel could imagine the teenaged version of herself marching up to Quinn with a hand on her hip and a haughty expression on her face and doing exactly that. Either before she knew who Quinn really was, or not long into their junior year when she was so bitter and hurt that she had basically been dropped like she meant nothing. "So, what made senior year different to the summer we were close? You trusted me then. You opened up and told me things that I didn't think you would ever tell anybody else. You'd had a school year where we didn't spend any time together outside of Glee obligations. Couldn't you have just come to me? You had to have known that if you'd just asked, I would have done anything for you."

"And I still haven't," Quinn promised. "Not to— I had to tell my therapist things that almost killed me to spit out, but not to anyone else. Jackson knew about Beth, but I never spoke about her in detail. All he knew was that I got pregnant at a time where I couldn't properly take care of another person and I decided to give her to somebody who could. It was them and you, Rachel. Even then. Even now. But I was spiralling and everything was changing soon anyway, and so it felt like whichever way I looked at it I would be selfish. Come to you for help and burden you and our friends with my issues on your senior year, or do exactly what I wanted to do to feel better, no matter how destructive to myself or those around me."

Everything had been so loud and messy inside her head that she'd forgotten that it could be quiet and controlled. Quinn knew now that there was one thing she would certainly always be able to control, and that was her own mind. She had all the power.

A wry, playful expression grew on her face as she watched Rachel's concerned stare. "The point to that uplifting journey down memory lane was to tell you that I remember needing and wanting you at sixteen, and that hasn't changed. It's gotten stronger; we're not kids anymore and we've been through a lot, but it hasn't changed." Quinn's hand only left its spot on Rachel's hip to find her hand instead, pushing their fingers together. "I look at you and I see so many things. I'm sure of so many things."

Rachel nodded, her mouth tightening for the barest second while she blinked several times in quick succession. "Me too, Quinn," she echoed softly, waiting only a second to lean forward and join their lips.

There was nothing Rachel wanted more than to be with Quinn now that they were both ready and in the right place in their lives. Despite the magnetic pull towards her during the recording of the album and how angry she'd once gotten at Kurt for stating that Quinn wasn't in the right place then to start anything, that her feelings were so obvious that her best friend picked up on them without being told, Rachel understood and agreed with him now. This was a good time; they had both taken time to work on themselves and they were both committed and prepared for the future. Any other time would have been a disservice to how good she knew they could be.

Their kisses grew longer and longer until Rachel gently coaxed Quinn onto her back and used her forearm to prop herself up, the other locked around the other side of Quinn's body. After a while she slid down against Quinn's hips a fraction to be able to lower her mouth and kiss a pale smooth throat that had been begging for her attention all night, even through dinner.

Rachel could feel Quinn breathing against her, fingers trailing over her back and arms as Quinn's breaths steadily grew shorter and heavier, tipping her head back for a quiet but insuppressible moan to pass through her mouth.

Rachel knew that sex had been pleasurable for Quinn over the past few years but just never satisfying. She understood that Quinn wasn't necessarily shy about what she needed or wanted in bed but it'd been a long time since she'd been satisfied. Somewhere along the way Rachel imagined that Quinn would have clung to the act of not coming as a form of control with her partners being that she had such little control over many other things in her life. Rachel hadn't asked Quinn to confirm that yet but it was a well-formed theory inside her head.

It was around the time that Quinn would reverse their positions of power and Rachel didn't need to be told that it was time to stop, so she dragged her lips over Quinn's throat and began to make her way back to the tempting mouth waiting for her when Quinn exposed more of her neck. Rachel took the hint fairly quickly.

A similar sound was produced from Quinn shortly after, when Rachel's hand slid up her torso and swept over her breast as a warm tongue swept across the stimulated skin of her throat and was chased with a soft kiss. Rachel continued until Quinn couldn't stand the lack of pressure of Rachel's mouth being anywhere but on her own, and then they were kissing again; seeking out the softness of each other's mouth over again.

Rachel found it more difficult to be considerate or rational when she thought of how much had changed for the better in the past few months and when they were kissing heatedly with Quinn's hands at her hip and the curve of her thigh, urging her closer with a reflexive pulls and tugs every so often over the next few minutes, building her up to the point that she had to turn her mouth away to collect herself. Rachel felt Quinn kiss to the side of it, eager to kiss wherever she could, but pulled back in favour of a searching look to Quinn's face, knowing her own desire was easily detectible.

They stared at each other.

Quinn's hands steadied Rachel as she rose to a sitting position and her hands moved to curl her fingers into the thin material of Rachel's top, watching closely for any sign to stop as she began to peel the article of clothing off but all Rachel did was raise her arms to aid in the removal prior to slipping them around Quinn's neck and leaning back in.

The kiss was headier than the others, hungry and consuming in the way that Rachel didn't even gasp softly into Quinn's mouth when she felt cool hands on the overheated skin of her back as she'd done before when they'd gotten a little handsy, and she didn't resist when she was twisted onto her back with Quinn suddenly sat astride her. Rachel's pulse spiked at the sight of it, and of Quinn watching her, but the most remarkable moment came when Quinn bunched her dress in her hands and pulled it up over her hips, arching her back to remove it completely.

Rachel smiled and moved her hands to Quinn's legs, keeping their gaze fixed while the barest flicker of anxiety flashed over Quinn's face and disappeared to give way to a pretty, soft laugh before lowering herself down.

Quinn brushed their lips together, retreating whenever she felt Rachel open her mouth wider and tilt her head upwards in search of a full kiss. Not that she had a single doubt, but she liked feeling Rachel so eager for her. Quinn also strangely liked the way that she was given a taste of her own medicine when she finally leaned down to kiss Rachel's mouth properly and Rachel turned away, only allowing the barest touch of their lips each time she tried to catch them. Quinn laughed softly at the gloating smile on Rachel's face before she kissed it away, anchoring a hand to Rachel's face to hold her in place.

Rachel slowly scraped her blunt nails at the back of Quinn's neck, playful kisses having long given way to needy ones. The gentle press of Quinn's body pushing hers into the mattress and the skill of her mouth progressively sent Rachel towards an undeniable need and she couldn't stifle a moan when Quinn slowly pressed herself against Rachel's hips.

"Take it off," Quinn requested, lifting off her long enough for the zipper to be dragged down and the skirt to be tossed to the floor.

Rachel stripped herself of a bra next, watching with uninhibited desire as Quinn's arms bent behind her own back momentarily and swept an opposite hand down each arm from the shoulder until the garment had joined Rachel's on the floor. Rachel's eyes lowered to full, pale breasts and the hardened pink nipples she'd been able to feel pushed against her own chest and could think of nothing but her desire to take one of them into her mouth. She looked into Quinn's eyes when she reached down to remove the final piece of clothing she had on, and then Quinn was against her, kissing deeply and deliberately.

The sensation of Quinn's body underneath or on top of hers was always guaranteed to garner a physical response from Rachel, and the added perception of Quinn's bare breasts pushed against her chest now had her desperate for Quinn, for anything. For everything.

The moment their mouths separated, Quinn dipped her head to Rachel's neck until she could kiss her there; swirl her tongue about the skin and luxuriate in the way a soft sound escaped Rachel's throat as she pushed her hips up. Quinn's mouth stilled at Rachel's neck, a small hitch to her breath before she adjusted the alignment of their hips and ground her pelvis down in return. A breathy moan later and Quinn felt Rachel start a rhythmic slow rock of her hips, sending the pit of her stomach warm and tense with a steady gathering of wetness that rushed when she sat on top of Rachel and put her hands to the silky skin of her abdomen, spreading her fingers out as she mapped along it, journeying farther to sensitive sides before roaming inwards and upwards to close around the soft, full weight of Rachel's breasts for the first time.

Rachel's mouth parted at the sensation, groaning when Quinn's thumbs brushed over her stiff nipples. She kept her eyes open and on Quinn, whose attention was captivated with her own actions and the reactions they were evoking, and whose breaths were only a little less choppy as she squeezed and kneaded the flesh, occasionally switching from a gentle exploration of Rachel's breasts to pinch and tug and hear the breathy little whimpers that would be produced from such an act.

Rachel thought she was wet before Quinn shifted down her body a little and maintained eye-contact for a long as she could when her head lowered, swirling her tongue around a recently abused nipple and then enveloping it into her mouth.

Quinn thought Rachel's tits were spectacular. She couldn't stop her mouth or fingers on them, especially when the legs pushed either side of her would tighten even further during a push of Rachel's chest and the soft sound that clung to Rachel's throat as her back arched further into Quinn's mouth. Quinn felt Rachel's heat and wetness against her stomach and moaned into the flesh sucked inside of her mouth.

Rachel had scarcely begun to process the lack of Quinn's weight against her hips, where she needed it, when Quinn's thighs were spread over one of Rachel's with strong, slim fingers trailing down her body. Her breaths were short and heavy with anticipation.

"Quinn, are you sure?" Rachel rushed out in a breath. Their actions had obviously been leading towards it but that didn't mean that Quinn couldn't or wouldn't change her mind. Fingers stilled high on her thigh and she looked up at the heavy eyes staring down at her. Quinn's eyes were always so striking; it hardly seemed fair at how much power they held over Rachel. She didn't even realise what was about to happen when Quinn hovered on top of her again and reached for her hand to guide it inside her underwear.

Rachel's eyes fluttered shut at the heat and abundance of wetness she found between Quinn's legs, her body flushing with need as Quinn held her hand in place and moved against it a few times, a strangled sound passing through her mouth. Rachel didn't think she would ever get used to hearing that kind of sound come from Quinn, and when Rachel forced her eyes open she found her still looking during leisurely but purposeful rocks of her hips. After only a moment Rachel moaned when another warm rush of wetness coated her fingers.

Quinn dropped her body down and kissed Rachel deeply, removing her hand from inside her underwear so that her attention wasn't so split that she wouldn't be able to focus. Quinn settled back over Rachel's thigh instead, pushing hers up between Rachel's legs as they kissed and touched. Rachel's nails dug into the small of Quinn's back and scratched during a particularly desperate pull of her hips but Quinn kissed her harder in response, abandoning a breast to drag her hand back down Rachel's body and dip between her legs.

Rachel's mouth stilled as Quinn's fingers moved over the most intimate part of her, sucking in a soft breath and tipping her head back when those fingers finally pushed inside. She moaned when a rhythm slowly began, angling her head to kiss Quinn deeply as she spread wider for her and pushed a sporadically tense thigh up hard between Quinn's legs.

It grew steadily more difficult to keep up a kiss when pleasure coursed through her with each push and curl of Quinn's fingers or swipe of her thumb. All the breath she had was panted, softly gasped or trapped in her throat as she moaned, her body stiffening tighter with the more minutes passed.

Quinn's head was against Rachel's on the pillow and Rachel heard an echoing moan when she flooded again, tightening around Quinn's fingers.

"Rachel," Quinn choked out, only a second before she repositioned her hand and sunk her fingers back in as far as they would go, the heel of her palm providing the extra stimulation to Rachel's clit.

Rachel didn't swear very often and Quinn found it gratifying to hear a curse breathed out as she worked her fingers faster, a mixed sound of a moan and a whimper chasing it, and Quinn thought she might self-combust with the height of her own arousal as Rachel met every thrust. She hadn't been this out of her mind to fuck in so long that she could barely remember if it had ever happened. Rachel's walls began to spasm around her fingers and Quinn turned her head to capture her mouth again.

Rachel returned another

kiss and then Quinn's hand began to slow its ministrations as she crawled down Rachel's body, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the skin as she went.

Rachel's chest heaved at the sight of Quinn looking up at her from between her legs, one arm hooked around her thigh, and her head fell back at the touch of Quinn's flattened tongue running up through the length of her. She was close before Quinn's warm mouth had begun to lick and suck her into a frenzied state of ecstasy, so when strong fingers pushed back inside her and struck up a fast pace it was all Rachel could do to hold on for even a moment longer.

But Quinn slowed down when she heard the desperate pitch to Rachel's panted breaths, feeling the tautness to her body as she arched and strained into everything she was being given. Quinn wanted to delay the orgasm as long as possible, prolonging the build-up for as long as she could. She ate Rachel slowly and patiently, only paying minimal attention to her clit until Rachel moaned loudly at the contact and dug her nails into the arm hooked around her thigh to encourage more, unable to stand being on the cusp of orgasm any longer.

It was apparently the sign Quinn needed.

Although she didn't lose any of the patience, her tongue and mouth worked more purposefully, gradually working her fingers from a slow pump to harder and faster thrusts when she felt Rachel begin to tighten further around them.

Rachel's grew shorter and shorter until she stiffened one final time, pleasure exploding out as her orgasm hit. She moaned loudly, pushing her hips into Quinn's mouth as she rode through it as long as she could.

Rachel slumped back against the bed when the last wave ebbed, useless for the moment, while Quinn withdrew her fingers to a quiet gasp and lifted her head, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She finally kissed Rachel's thighs, feeling them twitch slightly, especially when she used her tongue. Quinn made her way back up Rachel's body in much of the same way as she'd descended it; pressing her mouth into every inch of skin she possibly could. By the time she made it to Rachel's mouth, she had recovered enough to meet her with the most rewardingly deep kiss.

Quinn was between Rachel's open legs and she slid her hands down to Quinn's ass, spreading her fingers to grip more of it and pull her closer. Quinn was still wearing underwear.

"Take them off," she said when they broke apart, her chest expanding against Quinn's with a strong inhalation as her neck was kissed. Rachel's eyes practically rolled back when Quinn rocked their hips together and tongued her throat.

"Rather watch you do it."

And that was how Quinn found herself twisted onto her back with Rachel on top of her, a passionate kiss to her lips. It was her turn to be overtaken with pleasure when, several moments later, Rachel's head lowered to take one of Quinn's breasts in her mouth, fondling the other one with her hand.

Quinn felt bereft at the lack of contact when Rachel finally pulled away, but only until she opened her eyes and saw her looking down with that darkened gaze that pierced right through Quinn every time as Rachel kneeled, her hands positioned at the waistband of Quinn's visibly wet underwear but not moving. Rachel didn't move until Quinn lifted her hips impatiently, and then a light-hearted smirk pulled at Rachel's mouth at the gesture, dragging the piece of cloth down Quinn's legs slowly, dropping them to the floor once they were off completely.

Rachel's hands were on Quinn's legs, bent slightly at the knees. She looked down to her, saw the way her face was flushed with arousal and how her breaths were slow and heavy, and moving her hands over the skin as she took in everything her eyes could see. Neither hand remained stationary but one ventured further down Quinn's thigh than the other, smoothing her hand up and down it before she applied pressure to spread enough space for her to fit back into.

They both moaned at the contact and Quinn hooked one of her legs around the back of Rachel's. She was so wet but she could hardly stand to stop kissing Rachel so she didn't, finding a solution to her predicament by rolling her hips upward to relieve some of the pressure.

But Rachel had barely had the chance to explore Quinn's body and broke away from her lips to discover which parts of Quinn's torso responded the fastest and strongest to her mouth and fingers. She visited several areas more than once when they garnered moans or a hitch in breath, or both. Unsurprisingly, Rachel revisited Quinn's breasts the most often and was back there now, feeling Quinn arch her chest into her mouth as she flicked her tongue over a hot, erect nipple and then drew it tighter into her mouth, sucking.

Needy sounds emitted from Quinn's throat frequently and she was so desperate that she gently pushed on Rachel's shoulder, unable to find any more relief whenever she raised her hips to seek out the friction she craved. All it succeeded in doing was working her up even further and she wouldn't be satisfied until it was Rachel's efforts.

Rachel immediately set off to give Quinn what she wanted.

She released her breast from her mouth with one final kiss and kneaded the other, bringing her hand to Quinn's forearm. Rachel opened her eyes to look at it. There were a couple of old track marks to the inside of it, silvery white. Rachel kissed them all, even the healed skin she had once been horrified to see punctured, and Quinn was so dazed by it that it seemed like Rachel had lowered herself between her legs in the blink of an eye.

The reality of Quinn lying naked and wet beneath her, legs spread open, overtook Rachel's entire body and mind.

She took Quinn into her mouth and a strangled gasp and moan accompanied a hard, slow grind of Quinn's hips into her face. It made Rachel need her again. She gripped Quinn's thighs and her head slowly bobbed with her efforts over the next few minutes, unrushed by Quinn's growing desperation.

That was until Quinn's heels against the bed almost roughly pushed her hips against Rachel's face and she began to chant a string of the same curse. Rachel pulled away to shake her hair out of her face and push her fingers inside, feeling Quinn clench around them immediately. She alternated her pace and got the same wanton reaction with each drive.

Quinn's heavy breath began to hitch and her thighs tightened around Rachel who had lowered her head again, thundering towards a kind of pleasure that had reduced her to an incoherent mess. In the midst of it, she blindly reached down to grip on to the hand digging into her hip and squeezed her eyes shut, powerless to do anything else but rock her hips until pleasure seized her entire body and her back arched off the bed violently, using her heels to push herself further against Rachel's mouth and fingers. She shook with it, clinging to and relishing in each wave of her orgasm until it passed and she felt deliriously happy and sated but without bones as she slumped back.

Her heart jumped and raced brutally and unevenly and she threw an arm over her eyes as she tried to focus on catching her breath and not the aftershocks.

Rachel looked up and watched Quinn suck her bottom lip into her mouth, her rapidly-moving chest steadily beginning to slow with calculated breaths, and Rachel didn't think she'd ever seen Quinn more beautiful or desirable.

The soft kisses to one of Quinn's thighs succeeded in soothing her, and then they turned wet. She held her breath in anticipation when she felt the warm sensation of Rachel's over her centre and groaned at the first contact, still managing to be surprised by it, and at the inexplicable softness of Rachel's mouth and tongue that worked her towards a second orgasm at alarming speed.

Rachel decided to wait a little while before trying for a third.

She gave Quinn time to recover and journeyed back up her body, smiling when she saw the unconcealed smile on Quinn's face.

"God, Rachel," Quinn laughed, tipping her head up as Rachel hovered above her and then lowered for a kiss.

"Do you have any sorbet?" Rachel asked idly some time later, when they had moved under the covers.

"Didn't you have dessert at the restaurant, or was that someone else I was with?"

She suppressed a smile. "Hey, I— I would just like something cold and sweet, that's all. I didn't think you would have any ice cream that I can eat. Unless you do, in which case I will have that and you will have an apology."

Quinn looked down to big brown eyes innocently peering up at her. "Oh, you will?" Rachel nodded. Quinn hummed thoughtfully and pecked Rachel on the mouth before getting out of bed. She was almost certain she hadn't brought any kind of dessert in the past month but who knew what surprise laid waiting for her.

X

After more than a handful of sessions with her therapist and talking to Rachel and their friends about what a second album would mean for her, her needs throughout the recording process and the attention that would follow it being as she'd be around for it this time, Quinn agreed to do it. She wasn't the singer that some members of the group were, and maybe she wasn't quite as passionate about singing as others were even though she enjoyed it, but she still knew she was good enough and excited enough to be a part of something special while she figured out which step to take next.

Her mother's departure was saddening.

There were tears on both sides, but flights booked and dates written in personal calendars and cell phone calendars of when they would be seeing each other again —in one month. Quinn promised she would call her and Judy make a point to reiterate how proud she was of Quinn and that any time of the day or night was acceptable to call, for any reason. They hugged for a long time, which was rare for them even on the better ground that they stood on these days, and just before Judy unwound her arms from her daughter she uttered a tentative but sincere sentiment.

"I love you, sweetheart."

There was no time for Quinn to react outwardly before Judy kissed her face and promised to call her when she landed in Ohio, turning on her heel to make a quick exit. Quinn had been rooted to the spot at the time, but she'd thought of it a lot in the days following. It was only when their third hour-long phone call of the week was coming to a close that she said it back.

Quinn wondered when Rachel would say it.

How they felt about each other wasn't exactly a secret —or if it was, it was a terribly-kept one— but neither of them had verbalised it in so many words yet. There was no rush as far as Quinn was concerned; she could see it with Rachel's every glance and the way she kissed her, how she was with her, and Quinn thought that unless Rachel was blind, she would be able to see the same every time she looked at her or touched her.

Quinn knocked on the door and waited patiently for it to be opened.

Something dropped to the floor inside and then there were only a handful of seconds before the door was pulled open in a hurry, a flustered Rachel appearing on the other side of it. Quinn's mouth curved upwards at the sight of her, trailing an appreciative gaze down her body to find that Rachel was only wearing one heel; her left foot hovering over the floor as she was boosted three inches higher with her right leg.

A flustered Rachel was an attractive Rachel.

Whenever she smiled or her mouth was set —as it currently was, dimples appeared in Rachel's cheeks. Quinn leaned in and turned to the side to kiss one of them. "Hi."

Rachel melted a little at the contact. A little, but not entirely. She'd been filming a commercial for her newly renewed endorsement contract all day and it ran over by three hours, not to mention the traffic and Andrew got stuck in on the way home. She'd had to rush to get ready and prepare dinner as it was, and now Quinn was early, looking so good that Rachel considered pulling her inside the apartment and flattening her against the door. Instead, she did nothing and what came out of her mouth was a vaguely confused, "You're early."

"Yes," Quinn confirmed with a nod. "Wanted to see you earlier, so I came earlier. Forward thinking or what?"

"You have a very sharp mind," Rachel returned, moving to wordlessly invite Quinn inside by taking grossly uneven steps backwards.

Quinn spotted Rachel's other heel across the room and made a beeline for it.

"Here you go, Cinderella," she said once she'd made her way to the kitchen, where Rachel had hobbled to, probably to check whatever smelled good on the stove. Quinn crouched and held the front base of the shoe as Rachel's small foot pushed into it. It was a worthwhile gesture. When she pushed back to full height the hard line had disappeared from Rachel's brows, signalling the end of whatever frustration she'd had.

The other sign could have been the deep kiss Rachel gave her, but Quinn might not have been certain unless she'd seen the eyebrows.

They took it in turns to have each other over for dinner and it was Rachel's turn again. Quinn had been anticipating the food all day. She plucked a slice of cucumber out of the salad that Rachel had already prepared.

They talked while dinner was cooking and Rachel let Quinn set the table, much to both of their surprise. Rachel adjusted the placement of the candles and water glasses, for peace of mind more than anything, and she looked up guiltily to spot a light-hearted roll of Quinn's eyes.

"One day," Quinn predicted.

Rachel nodded pacifyingly but didn't really mean it. Her face turned serious with a gasp. "I have something for you!"

Quinn's mouth tightened with a smile. "Oh?"

"Yes."

Rachel hurried off through the apartment and Quinn remained seated at the sofa. When Rachel returned, Quinn looked to her hands and her eyebrows lifted as she breathed out a nervous laugh.

It was her leather jacket.

"Oh, wow."

"Yeah, I kept it. It made me feel better sometimes and I didn't know if you would want it when you got out. I mean, I—I had to put it at the back of the closet eventually because it made me kind of sad to see it hanging on the same hook every day knowing that it hadn't moved, but I still… here."

Quinn reached forward to take it out of Rachel's hands. She didn't know if it was strange to have missed it because it was just a jacket but it'd made her feel a little less vulnerable during times when she felt nothing but. She lifted her eyes to Rachel's and smiled slightly to take the hesitant look out of those staring back at her. "I wondered what happened to this."

"Do you want to keep it?" Rachel asked curiously and it was a while before there was a scrunch to Quinn's mouth and a soft tone to her voice.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

Quinn nodded but moved her hands to root through the pockets. "I loved this," she said. "But it reminds me so much of that time of my life, I don't think it would be right if I kept it."

"Maybe you could get a different one," Rachel suggested.

Quinn would definitely be getting a new one. She pushed her teeth into her bottom lip when her fingers came into contact with something small and plastic, pulling out an electric blue disposable lighter. "Need a light?"

Rachel's eyes brightened. "We can light the candles with that!" She'd misplaced her candle lighter last week.

Quinn considered that response with a slow nod. "What I meant," she said, grinning when Rachel tried her best to look unimpressed.

Cigarettes were hardly in the same category as illegal drugs but all the same, Rachel didn't particularly want Quinn near them. "I can't kiss a smoker," she stated. "It would be like tonguing an ash tray."

"Do that often, do you?" Quinn asked as she leaned forward to light a scented candle on the coffee table.

"I'd do that more often than kiss you if you still smoked."

She turned to the side and leaned forward to kiss Rachel on the mouth. "Doubt it."

Over dinner, Quinn decided to be the one to throw the jacket away. She thought it was only fitting. They were back on the couch an hour and half later, recovering from the amount of food they'd just eaten. Quinn ate more than Rachel did, and when she moved back over to the couch Rachel followed with two small servings of raspberry sorbet and a little smirk on her mouth that made Quinn want to take her on the couch. She might have done, had she not been full enough to burst. The sorbet actually helped.

There was nothing on TV and Rachel couldn't be bothered to keep flicking through when there was still dessert to be eaten, so she left the news on, watching intently. The Nightly News was on and Rachel recognised the male reporter from when she'd last watched a special Nightly News report. He'd basically put the idea of an album in her head.

Rachel looked over at Quinn and her faint smile froze when she saw the concerned stare. "What?" she asked immediately.

"That report is saying that eleven people got serious burns from a fire in a retirement home, and you're smiling."

"Not at that. I just…know that guy, and I'm happy."

"Oh, yeah? You guys record an album together, too?"

"Maybe we will, for those senior citizens," Rachel returned, her tone light and sassy. "And I can be happy. It is allowed in the state of New York. I'm not going to be arrested and taken downtown."

There was a small, private smile at Quinn's mouth. She was glad Rachel was happy, and hoped she was part of the reason why. "Nobody is happy watching the news. It's full of death reports or people who had something terrible happen to them."

Following the fire at the retirement home, the death of a Hispanic woman and her infant son was reported. Rachel promptly changed the channel. "That was quite obviously a fluke." She didn't like the way Quinn's brow was arched challengingly. "If you paid attention to parts other than those that add strength to your claim, you'd know that there are lots of inspiring stories of triumph, o-of where people beat the odds even when they're stacked against them."

Quinn made a sound of disinterest as she finished off her sorbet. "Rather look at you."

Rachel couldn't argue with that.

They'd both finished their dessert and put the small glass bowls on the table when Rachel laughed after a moment and blindly found Quinn's hand, rubbing hers over the top of it. "I meant to tell you, I had a dream about you last night."

"Do I want to know?"

"Yes. So, we were in school—"

"School?" It was easy to detect the disdain already.

"Yes. So anyway, we were in school and I remember staring at you, like, all the time," Rachel laughed. "It wasn't like I was following you or anything but we ended in the same place all the time, and you kept turning around glaring at me —because of course my eyes were glued to you each and every time— and you'd go 'what?' like you were so affected and irritated by it."

Quinn's brows furrowed. "Didn't that happen?" She was amused at Rachel's immediate expression of absolute denial. "I'm pretty sure it did. A bunch of times, actually."

"We both may have looked occasionally, but certainly not to that extent. We had boyfriends," Rachel pointed out smugly, thinking that little fact settled it. Thinking that it cancelled out her crush in the first place.

"Not always, and Finn and Sam? We could have been fucking and they wouldn't have noticed."

Rachel's response got trapped in her throat, eyes glazing over slightly. When she snapped out of it, a slow smile blossomed over her face. "Do you ever think about back then?" she asked shyly. "Before we were close, or even friends at all. Imagine knowing that one day I'd have my head between your legs. Do you think it would have solved some of the immediate tension between us?"

Quinn chuckled. "Ah, no."

"And vice versa, of course."

"Definitely not."

"Really? Why not?" Rachel knew why, she just liked to be playful with Quinn.

"About a million reasons."

"I think it would have been nice to know. Distracting," she admitted, "but nice. All those times I had a bad day or we fought, just... get a visual." Rachel smiled at Quinn's eye-roll and gasped at a new possibility. "Or during a solo."

Quinn laughed properly. "Shut up."

"A solo at a competition. I would have gone off-key." Rachel was so charmed by the pink tinge to Quinn's face that she leaned over and kissed it, waiting for Quinn to turn to her before pressing a chaste kiss to her mouth. She looked studied her, bringing a hand up to Quinn's face. "You know, I wouldn't change anything," she said quietly. "How we got here; you, any of it." There was a beat of comfortable silence before, "maybe one thing" slashed through it.

That 'thing' was a person, but of the evil variety. Rachel never wanted to say his name again.

Quinn kissed her again. "Oh, I would change a lot of things," she admitted, kissing Rachel on the nose next. "But nothing about you." Her mouth dropped back to Rachel's and they kissed slowly until Quinn pulled away, opening her eyes to Rachel's slightly dazed ones. "Maybe one thing," she added cheekily.

It was enough to sober Rachel a little of the effect Quinn had on her when she got too close, replacing it with warmth that she had only felt to this degree when she was around Quinn. It'd been present with past significant others (of both sex) but not like this. Nobody knew her like Quinn did. Nobody had tried so hard to be good enough to be with her the way that Quinn had, and it felt wonderful to know that she was out of her mind crazy about someone like that, who clearly returned the feelings.

The future wouldn't be perfect in a traditional sense but staying this happy would be more than Rachel could ever really ask for, and there was no reason she couldn't be if they both remained healthy and focused, keeping the promise of making an effort every day. And as far as Rachel was concerned, they would. She would.

Again and again, just like always.