My name is Kacey Barry, just Kacey. Anyone would think I'd be ecstatic now, just winning the football. I scored, more than once. I managed to convince to let me play as a lad. It wasn't just the football that made me feel free see, it was playing as me. I had wanted this day as a test to see if I could do it be myself and I did. But after when they realised, I wasn't like everyone else. A girl, playing as a lad. I found myself in the changing rooms. It wasn't until the rest of the team came in and reminded me that I wasn't technically supposed to be there, no matter how much the guy's locker rooms cleared my head. Mum had said to 'Keep a low profile.' Being a useless Barry our reputation needed to be upheld, she didn't give a toss about me or Dyns or even Barry as long as we kept out the way. Walking down the corridor, a single solitary tear slid down my cheek, catching in the corner of my eye. I caught Zoe confronting Barry; no one would do that, especially not for me. Barry the one everyone fears but he's safe on the streets and people will go out of their way to keep him on their good side, underneath it all he's protective over us; I guess deep down he loves our family…that's what I thought anyway. The look on his face, sheer terror, fear and pain. He wouldn't understand, no one does. I've never felt more alone. I've betrayed everyone. It's like he suddenly realised, I suddenly realised. Beneath the short gelled back hair, the sporty tomboy, I wasn't born to be a girl. Being a girl for me wasn't right, I was trapped. Looking me up and down, total shock. I didn't even know what this was at best; I wasn't ready to come out, if Barry's reaction was anything to go by mum would be worse. Dyns would try to be nice about it but what does she know. If she can't then I haven't got a hope in hell.

When Miss Boston told me I could talk to her I saw a genuine glint of care beneath her usual cold exterior, breaking down. I almost found myself pooling out my emotions, sharing my most intimate thoughts, instead I just said plainly 'Can't I just join the others.' She knew there was pain behind my words.

The door getting locked make me stick my head up. It was Barry and he looked like he was ready to confront me. This. 'Is it true Kace?' he asked. 'Did you tell that Zoe you were a boy?' shaking my head trying to explain it wasn't like what he thought, except it was. 'I didn't tell considered the situation 'Maybe it can make her feel better for liking girls if she can make out you're a boy.' 'It wasn't like that.' 'Then what was it like?!' He stepped forward getting angrier more confused. 'You want the truth?' I admitted, he responded with a nod. This was it and I couldn't hold it in any longer. I rolled up my shirt, my carefully binding chest showing underneath. See, I had been on this website only across it once then I saved it in my favourites, re-opening and since I had done this every day. I found myself binding the strip of material around my sports bra. Bra, more of a sport top. My chest was only small anyway, concealing it wasn't a problem, and they said it would make it easier on the website. This morning I had put it on like every other day. 'What have you done?' 'Learnt how to do it on a website.' The short answer and his jaw literally dropped. The hard nut reputation of Barry being washed away. 'A website?!' he scoffed. 'I didn't even know I was looking for it, then I was going on it all the time, it's about how to make yourself pass as a boy.' 'So this is like some experiment yeah? Some prank?' 'No.' 'THEN WHAT IS IT THEN?!' he shouted. 'It's who I am, I can't help it.' Even with all this he just didn't understand. 'Are you a lezza is that it?' 'It's got nothing to do with it, it's about me, my body, it's not right and it's not mine! Today was supposed to be some sort of test.' 'What.' I nodded. 'To see if I could really do it, be who I am properly.' An evil glint appeared in my brothers eye, one I knew too well. He scoffed again 'This is my fault, always letting you tag along with me, treating you like one of the boys, no wonder you got confused. We're going to fix all this Kace, we're going to make it better.' He grabbed me by my hoodie, I had backed against the side, scared, pinned against the wall, I had frozen. 'You want to be normal don't you?' 'I just want to be me.' I admitted truthfully. Quickly he reached into Rhiannon's or Scout's bag from behind pulling out what looked like….that better not be. 'What are you doing?' 'You're a girl and I'm going to prove it!' he grabbed the eyeliner, lip stick anything and started to plaster it on my face. I felt sick 'Somebody help! Please!' There was always no reasoning with Barry when he ended up like this. was banging on the door 'Barry open the door!' I bit his hand running to the door just before it was smashed open. 'I'M NOT A GIRL I'M A BOY!' That was it, my secret, everything about me, out in the open. Everyone's mouths widened in shock whilst Barry pushed over the tables. If this was how he had reacted, and how the school felt…mum was going to kill me, I wasn't looking forward to going home tonight.