Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Don't read if you're under 18 or don't wish to read a story with adult content.

Itachi's Office Fun

Uchiha Kazuma was not a happy policeman at the moment.

The reason for his discontent was a man he was giving a tour around the Konoha Military Police headquarters. Not that the guy needed a tour, but Kazuma was still obligated to do it, though that wasn't a real issue here.

Uchiha Itachi was.

With his perfect looks, impeccable manners, high-born status as the next in line to be the clan head, legendary power as of a one day retired ANBU captain and a prodigy no one has seen in generations, Itachi was the epitome of everything Kazuma wanted to be but for obvious reasons couldn't. What made him even more bitter was the fact that he was two years older than Itachi and entirely unremarkable. At twenty eight and after the long service in the police since he's made chunin, Kazuma was still practically a simple grunt, without any rank in the forces.

And now the pretty boy was going to be his superior, just like that.

Kazuma hated Itachi – from the top of his chick-magnet head to the toes of his noiselessly stepping feet, Kazuma hated all about him.

Although at least he had enough sense to hide it.

"This is your office, sir," Kazuma pointed at the door in the end of his tour, inwardly raging at the unfairness of it all. He himself still had only a tiny, claustrophobic cubicle without any privacy!

"Thank you for your time, Kazuma-san," Itachi replied tonelessly. "The tour was very helpful."

Is he mocking me? Kazuma wondered, seething that Itachi didn't even address him as a senpai. And was that amusement he was picking up from the man?

"You can go back to your duties," Itachi said and Kazuma saluted to him and stalked off. He needed to get rid of all the stress and he planned to do it under his desk with Icha Icha and a couple of black market photos from the women's bath.

Itachi smirked at the retreating back of his guide. He was used to people envying him but this one was so pathetic in his ill-concealed hatred that he almost pitied him.

Oh, well, Itachi would have time to teach the whelp some respect later on. For now, he had a new office to get settled in. Hopefully, the chair would be more plushy than the one in his old office in ANBU.

Itachi reached for the doorknob. His hand hovered over it for a moment, then fell on it after a second's pause. With a full-blown smirk, Itachi entered his office and quietly shut the door. He strode over to the large desk in the middle of the room, noting with pleasure the window on its left gave a nice view at some trees. Sitting on the chair behind it, which was satisfyingly cushy, Itachi steepled his fingers before him.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Anko?" he asked, his Sharingan dismantling the genjutsu she was using to stay hidden in the corner next to the door as easily as if it was a child's play.

The woman scowled as she stepped up to his desk and leaned her hip against it. "Can't I just congratulate you for joining the family business?" she pouted, flicking her purple hair out of her face.

Itachi didn't call her out on her bullshit, though she could tell she wasn't fooling him by the flat expression on his face. "Thank you, then," he inclined his head slightly, not breaking the eye contact between them. He didn't miss the dangerous flash in her orbs, which meant that he riled her up again. Itachi smirked, knowing just how much it annoyed her.

"You're welcome," Anko gritted out, forcing a smile on her lips.

"If that's all, you can leave. I'm quite busy," he feigned losing the interest, knowing that nothing got to her as much as indifference.

It worked, obviously. Suddenly, Anko leapt on his desk, kneeling before him as a mass of writhing snakes burst out of her sleeve and wrapped a tad too tightly around his throat. Itachi didn't even bat an eye at the attack, having expected something like that to happen.

"They're all poisonous. One bite and you're a goner," she whispered softly. "Aren't you afraid, I-ta-chi?" One of her snakes rubbed against his cheek teasingly, all cold scales and strong muscle.

Itachi's stoic expression didn't waver.

"You won't do anything to me, An-ko-chan. You like me too much," he replied.

She rolled her eyes and leaned down to him, presenting him with a delicious view down her mesh shirt, which he didn't indulge in, his eyes never straying from her brown, viper-like ones.

"Is that what you think?" she purred then licked her lips. "Well then, it seems like you are right."

In the next moment her snakes disappeared as she released the summoning and her warm, hungry mouth descended on his with so much passion, he was caught off guard. Anko ruthlessly pressed forward, taking her chance, and slipped her tongue into his mouth. With a light groan, muffled by their kiss, Itachi reciprocated, engaging her slick appendage with his own in a battle for dominance. That was what he found the most fun about Anko – she always tried to take control and set her pace. She never surrendered easily to his advances.

It was exciting.

Itachi sucked on her tongue, all the while looking into her eyes erotically and smirked when he felt her shudder. Yet, she didn't relent to him, retaliating in kind, which in turn made a sparkle of pleasure shoot straight down to his loins. Anko smirked victoriously.

Their kiss became languid, not losing any of its passion as they breathed through their noses. They knew that whoever would break the connection first, would admit defeat.

Itachi's hand surreptitiously reached up and squeezed Anko's already protruding nipple painfully. She jerked away from surprise with a slight grimace, ending their connection.

"I win," Itachi declared.

"Because you cheated," she hissed out. "Is that what a police inspector would do?"

"It's a ninja police, Anko. We can cheat other ninjas as much as we want."

A low growl emitted from Anko's throat at the smug look on Itachi's face. That Uchiha had an uncanny ability to always get under her skin. Though the spitfire kunoichi would never admit so, it was why she pursued him – he never bored her.

Reluctantly giving the first round to him, Anko eyed her prey calculatingly, determined that the next round would be hers. Deciding on her new course of action, she jumped off the desk and straddled Itachi as she sat in his lap. Her warm lips trailed along the line of his defined jaw up to his ear.

"Well, your words or actions can cheat, but your body doesn't lie," she murmured huskily and grounded her pelvis down into his crotch, feeling the burning hot bulge straining against the material of his pants. He took in a shuddering breath and slid his hands down her back to squeeze and knead her soft behind. Anko moaned wetly into his ear and sucked on the sensitive earlobe. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she gyrated on his lap faster, practically dry-humping him as her lips left his ear and traveled down his neck until reaching his delicious pulse point which she deliberately bit into. Itachi hissed but didn't stop lifting and dropping her rear, aiding her in the ride on top of him.

Anko sucked viciously on his neck, inwardly delighting that he would have a big hickey to remember her by, when Itachi's arms stilled completely.

"What's wrong?" she asked, displeased with him. This wasn't a moment for doubts, they were in a middle of something!

"Someone's coming. Get down and hide under the desk," Itachi ordered her calmly, pushing her off himself.

Anko landed on the floor with a small thud and, rubbing her knees and giving him a harsh scowl which promised a swift punishment for such a treatment, crawled into the tiny space under the desk as Itachi pulled his chair up to it. She had to kneel in between his spread legs to fit in there and when she looked up to him to voice a quick complaint, her eyes caught the sight of his straining erection placed conveniently right under her nose. Smirking deviously, Anko unzipped Itachi's pants and with an impatient pull, freed his manhood from the confines of his clothing.

"Anko, don't you dare..." Itachi's eyes flashed red in a serious threat.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you very quietly," she cooed and swatted his hand away, preventing him from tucking the erection back in his pants.

"Anko..." he started again, the footsteps from the hallway stopping just behind his office door.

"Shhh," she hushed him, a Cheshire grin on her face as she stroked his shaft and he had to suppress a groan at the pleasurable sensation.

The door to the office opened and Itachi saw with rising trepidation that his visitor was no one else but the Chief of Military Police – Uchiha Fugaku, his father. Of course, no emotion was shown on Itachi's statue-like face. Everything would be alright as long as he didn't make any strange sounds, he told himself and straightened a bit in his seat.

Anko chose that moment to stroke and rub him with both hands, almost causing him to gasp in pleasure, only the iron discipline ingrained into him from childhood saving him from revealing her presence.

"Itachi," his father grunted out gruffly after closing the door.

"Father," Itachi inclined his head politely, controlling his voice perfectly.

Anko ran her tongue along his underside and he bit the inside of his cheek so as not to take in a sharp breath. Itachi promised himself that no matter what he would make her pay, but for now thoughts of sweet vengeance had to be put aside.

Fugaku's eyes swept over the office and rested on Itachi's bare desktop. "I see you're still settling in."

"Yes, I've finished my tour around the department just a few minutes ago," Itachi replied evenly, doing his best to ignore Anko's sinful tongue wrapping around his tip and sucking him in.

"You know where everything is?" Fugaku asked mildly.

"Yes," Itachi gritted out as Anko boldly bobbed her head up and down his cock. Despite the danger of being exposed to his own father at any moment now, his shaft was unbelievably hard and pulsing with need, which the kunoichi was all to happy to answer. Itachi found himself half-amazed and half-horrified that he was so turned on by such a situation, but he couldn't deny the euphoric feeling of adrenaline pumping through his veins.

Ninjas did live off danger, after all, and he was among the best of them.

"That's good," Fugaku replied shortly and gave his son a scrutinizing look. Itachi broke out in a cold sweat. Did his father notice something?

Anko reached just under his jutting shaft and cupped his balls, rubbing them lightly. In retaliation, one of Itachi's hands sneaked down there and slammed her all the way down his cock. Anko gagged on his length, her spittle dribbling from her full mouth, but true to her word, remained silent. His hand maintained a strong grip on her hair, disallowing her any further movement. He didn't know how long would he have endured her torture before coming undone, though he was sure he wouldn't have lasted until after his father's exit. At least now she was temporarily stopped from teasing him too much.

"What is this on your neck, Itachi?" Fugaku asked, pointing at the hickey left by Anko.

Itachi inwardly blanched, while on the outwards he kept his calm. His unoccupied hand rose and covered the red mark. "Ah, it seems a mosquito bit me there."

"It's already this time of a year," Fugaku nodded sagely, buying the lie without question. "Well, it's time for me to go, son. I'll send someone to bring you all the files you need to start working. Come to see me at lunch."

"Alright, I will," Itachi replied, keeping Anko in place as she struggled to break out of his hold.

When the door finally closed behind his father, Itachi released her and she hurriedly slid off his shaft, coughing and gulping in large breaths. "Were you... trying to... suffocate me?" she wheezed out.

"You would deserve it after that stunt you pulled," he replied uncaringly, pushing his chair away from the desk to let her out.

"You're a little sadistic bastard, aren't you?" Anko slowly lifted herself up on her feet.

In a next moment, she was pinned down to the desktop with one of his arms as the other ran up her thighs and under her tan skirt to feel the juncture between her legs.

"You love it when I'm sadistic," Itachi declared, rubbing her center through the material of her mesh bodysuit and panties. "You're all wet for me," he nipped her neck and bit into the smooth skin harshly, earning a sharp intake of breath from her as he proceeded to mark her in a spot mirroring his own hickey.

"Vindictive... horny... asshole..." Anko panted out between the moans as he worked her body into frenzy with his open-mouthed, hot kisses and fast-paced rhythm of his hand trapped between her thighs. The hardened peaks on her breasts begged to be touched and when Itachi leaned over her to crush her lips with his own as his hard chest pressed on her curvy front, Anko couldn't stop a keening moan.

After thoroughly devouring her mouth and leaving it swollen and reddened, Itachi's eyes wandered down to rest on two fleshy mounds, which he was unable to resist from palming with his free hand. She moaned wantonly at the touch, thrusting up her chest to intensify the pressure on it.

"So impatient," Itachi chuckled, rubbing and kneading her luscious breasts through her thin clothing, not forgetting about manipulating the small puckered buds. Still, her bodysuit was annoying him, so it had to go. Now.

Anko mewled in protest when he removed his hand from beneath her skirt. She grabbed blindly for it and instead came upon his slick erection, which she quickly started pumping. Itachi groaned, bucking his hips into her hand, then took out a kunai from the pouch on his back. He made a few incisions in her clothes then with a strong pull ripped the mesh material off her body.

Anko glared at him heatedly, angry at him ruining her favourite outfit. "You're buying me new clothes," she demanded and Itachi nodded distractedly, too focused on the view of her bare, luscious breasts, freed through the large hole in the front. Lowering himself to them, he drew one brown button into his mouth and suckled on it. Anko shuddered in bliss and tangled her fingers in his hair, messing up his ponytail as she dragged his head to the other nipple.

"And dango," she panted out, her right hand tightly gripping and fondling his throbbing erection. "To show that you're sorry... for the damage."

"I can give you a taste of sweets right now, if you want," Itachi replied as he released her nipple with a pop and immediately after flipped her skirt up and ripped a hole in the crotch of the bodysuit. He ran his fingers along her slit through the grey, unassuming panties. "You should've worn something sexier," he commented and also ripped them off her body.

Her dripping wet sex was now at full display to his hungry gaze and Anko was delighted to feel his member twitch in her grasp as she splayed her legs even wider, granting him better access to her snatch. She had to let his shaft go when he lowered his head down there, kneeling on a floor so his mouth was at the same level as his prize.

"You're staring like a pervert. Is that an Uchiha thing?" Anko jibed.

"I wouldn't know, I didn't have sex with any other Uchihas," Itachi deadpanned and cut the chit chat by slipping his tongue in between her nether lips and all the way up to the hidden pearl, which he grazed teasingly. Anko moaned and grabbed his scalp pulling him down into her damp heat. Itachi's dextrous muscle licked all over her dripping entrance, tasting her liquid but it wasn't enough. He wanted so much more of her delicious flavour.

"Ahh... Faster, you bastard... fuck..." Anko moaned, massaging his head, when he started thrusting into her hole, causing a copious amount of sticky wetness to stream out of her on his tongue and dribble down his chin. She was getting so close, just a tiny little push would send her over the edge. Her hips bucked as she sought her release.

She would have cried when he stopped but she was too tough to do that, so she just cursed him out.

"Why did you stop, you goddamn dickhead?! I'll fucking kill you if you don't finish me off!" Anko took a breath to continue her rant but one look into Itachi's smoldering, dark eyes as he rose to loom over her body shut her up instantly.

Itachi leaned down and licked her lips so she opened up to taste a mix of her juices and his saliva as she sucked on his tongue. When they parted, Anko couldn't help herself and licked around his mouth to get more of her own sweetness from him.

"Now that we've had a little dessert, let's get to the meat of the matter," Itachi suggested in a low, husky voice, his hands taking a solid grip on Anko's hips. She nodded and wrapped her slim strong legs, which were dangling off the desk, around his waist, her brown eyes darkening with lust. Without much ado, Itachi aligned his tip with her entrance and gave a powerful push, filling her up in an instant.

Anko's back arched at the glorious feeling of being stretched by a scorching hot, pulsing thick pole as her hands gripped at Itachi's shoulders. "Fuck, you're so good, you bastard," she panted as Itachi pounded at her mercilessly. She was so worked up from his previous teasing that just a few of his ferocious thrusts brought her to the ecstasy she so desired.

"Ahhhh...!" she let out a strangled moan as all her muscles flexed in insurmountable pleasure, her insides contracting and milking Itachi's shaft with all their might. He grunted, gritting his teeth and lessening the strength of his thrusts so he could withstand the sexual assault of her body without coming too quickly. To him the fun was just starting...

Dazed from her orgasmic high, Anko quietened down which situation Itachi immediately turned to his advantage. He hoisted her left leg up on his shoulder, while keeping the right to the side and drove into her at the new angle, reaching a lot deeper and hitting her most sensitive depths. Anko whimpered, her body twitching and convulsing, exhausted from her climax.

"S-stop, you-you bastard..." she objected weakly, unwillingly enjoying the rough thrusts.

Itachi thumbed her engorged clit and twisted her nipples forcefully, eliciting a throaty moan from her, never stopping plunging into her tightness, overflowing with the love juices. His breath was getting laboured as he was steadily nearing his own completion.

"You like it... you little, nasty... cockslut," he groaned a bit as she clenched on him, turned on by the name-calling.

"What... what did you say?" Anko gasped out and finally managed to push his shirt up, her hands roaming up his stomach to the hard planes of his muscled torso.

"That... you're a little... cockslut... means... that... you love... to get fucked," Itachi panted out, ramming into her clamping heat.

Anko found his nipples and pinched them painfully. "Say it again," she dared, secretly loving that she was a cause for the unflappable, polite Uchiha Itachi to lose his head and swear out loud at her.

"You're a slut... who loves... cock..." Itachi didn't care what he was saying, he was so close.

"Mmm, yes, harder... Harder, you asshole!" Anko urged him, finding the strength to move her hips into his frantic thrusts. The sensation was amazing for them both.

"Take it, take it, slut! Fuck!" Itachi groaned and violently slammed into her to the hilt, his member pulsing as a thick stream of hot release was unleashed inside in a few spurts. His thumb ground on her pearl and the combined sensation of it and his orgasm made Anko come for the second time during their intense coupling.

Itachi slumped over her, his head resting gingerly on her shoulder and for a minute it was all silent except for their heavy breathing as both of them slowly composed themselves from the hard sex session they've just had. Finally, Anko tiredly pushed him off her and he got up back on his feet, slipping out of her wetly. Itachi plopped into his chair and gave her an exhausted smirk, pleased with the view of his handiwork. The satisfied kunoichi lifted herself up on her elbows, her naked breasts swaying, visible through the large hole in the bodysuit. She didn't bother to close her splayed legs, letting him enjoy the sight of her thoroughly fucked pussy, oozing with her own liquid and his semen.

Itachi reached into his pocket and retrieved a pack of tissues.

"Clean yourself up," he handed her one.

"Always so practical," Anko grumbled without any energy behind it and took the tissue.

When he was busy fixing himself up, she gave him a sly look, cogs turning in her devious mind. Anko hid her grin expertly. Hopping off the desk, she flipped her skirt down. She couldn't do anything for the rip in front of her clothing, so she decided to button up her coat later, before leaving.

"Hey, Uchiha," she called for his attention and upon getting it, she rubbed her belly slowly. "I hope you plan to take responsibility for this."

Itachi stared at her blankly for a moment. "What do you mean?" he asked and Anko detected a slight strain in his voice.

"You should know. You didn't wear a condom and now who knows what will come out of this," she explained with a shrug.

The dramatic widening of his normally so impassive dark eyes as he gazed at her stomach and a small opening of his mouth when the realization of her meaning sank in were too much for Anko, who let out a muffled chortle which soon transformed into a loud belly-laugh.

"Oh god, your face! Hahaha! I totally got you with this one! Heh!" she wiped a few tears of mirth from her eyes.

"Yes, very funny, Anko," Itachi sighed and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. Noticing only now its mussed state, he took off his hairband to fix it up again. Done with putting it back into his usual, neat ponytail, he gave her a pointed look. "I've got to work."

"Yeah, yeah, first day in the office, mister inspector, right?" Anko finally buttoned her tan coat, hiding her assets from the view and headed for the exit, sensing a chakra approaching them. Whipping the door wide open with a flair, she threw over her shoulder with a wicked grin, "Next time be sure to use some police tricks on me, okay?"

And she waltzed out proudly, entirely disregarding the shell-shocked presence of a policeman who clearly heard her last suggestive words addressed to his superior.

Itachi didn't show any reaction to Anko's unique farewell, though he did consider making a good use of his standard issue handcuffs when she would come again to bother him at work, knowing it was wont to happen sooner or later. Meanwhile, he opened the window fully to air out his office from the smell of sex in case his father would visit again.

"S-sir?" the person in the doorway asked meekly and Itachi turned to see that it was his guide, Uchiha Kazuma, laden with a stack of files.

"Come in and leave it on the desk," he ordered unperturbed at being caught with Anko by his subordinate.

Kazuma hesitantly entered the office and followed the command. "Sir, are you and Mitarashi-san..." he started curiously but the chilling look Itachi sent him smothered the voice in his throat.

"Is that any of your business?" Itachi posed a simple question, laced with so much malice and ill-intent that Kazuma could do nothing but shake his head and pray he would be allowed out unharmed. "I thought so," Itachi said coldly. "Get out."

He didn't have to repeat himself as Kazuma practically ran out of the office, still tongue-tied and absolutely terrified. When he rounded the corner, he plastered himself against the wall, his heart beating furiously as if he just finished one hundred laps around Konoha with Maito Gai. Kazuma grabbed his head and roughly yanked at his hair, trying to compose himself before returning to his cubicle. He really didn't want anyone to see him so winded, let alone Fugaku-sama who could still be lurking around. One lecture about the proper conduct of the proud Uchiha policemen was more than enough for the day...

His pulse steadying, Kazuma sighed. How was it that he was caught and harshly reprimanded for just a few naked women photos and one Icha Icha volume, while that stuck-up Itachi got laid at his big, roomy office on his first day in the police without any consequences?

Life was so unfair.

To be continued...

notes:

1. This story takes place three years after "Itachi's Steamy Shower", however its events are irrelevant here, besides the general information on Itachi's short-lived relationships with women.

2. In "Itachi's Steamy Shower" Anko was Itachi's recent ex-girlfriend. Let's just say, it's not that easy for him to get her to leave, so here she came back for more :)

3. I made an OC, Uchiha Kazuma, basically for lols. Did I succeed? You tell me.

4. There's not enough Itachi/Anko love around.