The Iceberg Lounge…

Bruce grinned at Selina over the top of his wine glass and sighed. "You have no idea how glad I am to be out of that house."

Selina lifted a dark brow. "Really? How bad is it?"

"Bad," Bruce confirmed. He stabbed bad-temperedly at a cucumber on his plate and glared at it for a few seconds before he ate it, chewing broodingly. "Awful. Truly terrible."

Selina hid a grin as she fanned open a napkin and ducked her head, partially obscuring her face. Clearing her throat, she asked nonchalantly, "What did they do this year?"

"What didn't they do," Bruce muttered, glaring at his steak now. He swallowed a mouthful of iced lemonade, wishing it was acceptable to get drunk at half past one in the warm afternoon. He would have traded his lemonade for a shot of tequila in a heartbeat and he didn't remember the last time he had had an alcoholic beverage. "Those boys are going to kill me."

Selina sipped her wine, crossing her legs under her scarlet cashmere sweater dress. The air conditioning in the night club-slash- restaurant sent chills along her exposed legs and Bruce wordlessly shrugged off his jacket for her. Accepting it, she twirled her noodles around her fork and popped it into her mouth. "What did you do to them?"

"I took them off patrol," Bruce replied heavily. He hated taking his boys off of patrol. He may not need them at the moment, having more than enough heroes lending a helping hand, but it was a bond they had formed.

"Isn't that a little dangerous?"

"No. I have Stephanie, Barbara, and Cassandra. Huntress is here too. And there aren't any major cases going on right now. If there's an emergency, I'll call them in, but for the time being, I don't need them patrolling."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Besides, I just closed the Killer Croc case. There shouldn't be trouble for a long while to come."

Selina shrugged, her inky strands trailing elegantly over her slender shoulders with the simple movement. "Whatever you say, handsome." She leaned closer to him, the scent of her cologne (Selina was fond of Bleu De Chanel, merely because nearly all female socialites wore Chanel number five) wafting towards him. She ran her hand through his hair and skimmed her fingertips along his jaw line.

Her breath ghosted past his neck as she murmured into his ear, "Why don't you and I-?"

"Are you two quite finished?"

They jolted apart like guilty children to stare in surprise at Oswald Cobblepot. He smiled thinly at them, his hands folded neatly behind his back. The very image of a respectable businessman and restaurant owner. "Shall I bring the check?"

Selina crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head to the side, pursing her lips. "Was that the best way you could have handled that, Ozzie, darling?"

"I run a respectful business, Miss Kyle," Oswald replied ever-so-politely, a gleam in his eye.

Bruce scoffed discreetly; recalling the time Dick and Jason pretended to be strip dancers for a night only a few yards away in the entertainment center. Respectful business his foot.

"Although, if you are finished, we have a VIP room upstairs that might fit your more recreational needs." Oswald forced himself not to laugh, widening his eyes earnestly. "It has a hot tub, a thousand count cotton sheets, and an assortment of lingerie and whips, if that-"

"No, thank you," Bruce burst out, flushing dark pink. His hands gripped the edge of the table so hard that his knuckles turned white and there was a slightly frantic look in his eyes. "That won't be needed."

"Whatever you like, sir," Oswald said airily, enjoying the tense atmosphere. "Excuse me, I'll just bring the bill."

He departed, leaving an uncomfortable silence in his wake. Actually, it was only uncomfortable on Bruce's part; it was more of a highly amused silence on Selina's behalf.

"Where were we?" In a split second, Selina's hands were on his shoulders again and her hair brushed against his jaw.

Her lips hovered over his mouth and Bruce barely heard the waiter beside him ask, "Cash or credit, sir?"

Not taking his eyes off of Selina's face, Bruce reached in his pocket for his wallet and retrieved a crisp hundred dollar bill. At least, that's what he thought he had retrieved.

The waiter gave an embarrassed cough from Bruce's periphery. Bruce gritted his teeth together in irritation. Why was that man still here? Couldn't he see that Bruce was in the middle of something very impor-

"I'm sorry, sir, we don't take that payment here."

"What?"

Bruce turned his head reluctantly and stared at the waiter's flushing face then down at his hand.

Closing his eyes briefly, Bruce heard himself saying, "I'm very sorry. I'll just write you a check then."

Selina tucked her tongue firmly in her cheek as she watched Bruce write out his check while very obviously dying of humiliation. She winked at the waiter, who appeared to choke on his breath of air, and gently plucked the condom from where Bruce had hastily dropped it onto the table. The waiter's eyes widened as she slipped it into her purse, a smirk quirking the corner of her full mouth.

Once the waiter was gone, Bruce turned to Selina and cleared his throat. "I didn't put them there."

"So I gathered."

"Shall we leave?"

"And make use of those condoms? Absolutely."

Bruce wrapped his arm around her slim waist as they left. Selina slid her hand into his as they walked into the bright sunlight. "Should I pity what's coming to them?"

There was no need to clarify who 'them' was. "No," Bruce replied shortly, hailing a cab.

Selina laughed. "Oh, I don't know, handsome. The punishments do get worse every year."

"Well, so do the pranks."

"True," Selina allowed, shifting her purse in her lap.

"They'd better run," Bruce snarled, shutting the door behind him.

"Like bats from hell?"

"Like bats from hell," Bruce agreed grimly.

FIN

A/N: Hopefully you enjoyed this and if you did, please leave a review below! Thanks so much to everyone who left a review, it means the world to me and I couldn't have done it without you. Until next time, my lovely readers!