Double Ds pov

And you can't stop me from falling apart

Cause my self-destruction is all your fault

How could you, how could you

How could you hate me

When all I ever wanted to be was you

How could you, how could you

How could you love me,

When all you gave me were open wounds

'Curse this blimy song' I thought to myself as I walked to my locker. Just getting out of art class I had been listening to my IPod and one of my favorite songs, Open wounds by Seether began to play. I know it wouldn't seem right for me to listen to something so… well harder rock. As I grew older I diverged away from classical and started to listen to the older music bands such as Seether, Skillet, and such. I of course still love the classical music but like to give myself a wider variety. Coming up to my locker I notice something taped to it. 'oh great just another means of taunting me, I'm sure someone will come by to tease me promptly as usual.' I grab the note and shove it in my pocket, 'I will not give them the satisfaction of seeing me read it here' I thought and opened my locker to grab my books for study hall. If I can get the worksheet done in my AP English then I will just have my psychology essay for tonight of course it is not due until next Wednesday, and even though it is just Friday I will get it done now and not have to fret about it later.

I sit at my usual spot in the study hall room and wait for roll call, I look for that certain person I enjoy seeing every day. He cannot know I look for him however, he will relentlessly bother me, more than he already does. However he has been rather off put as of late, and I only notice this because he has taken great lengths to avoid me all together which is odd in of its self. I might have thought to ask him if he was doing alright but I am afraid that would just rouse the beast within him and I would prefer to just be left alone. I look to the door and see him walk in his usual green sweater, red baseball cap turned backwards and a pair of jeans. His read hair is sticking out of the front and he just looks absolutely stunning with his muscles moving under his sweater. 'oh! Look away Eddward before Kevin notices you looking at him!' I think as I jerk to look at my desk.

The teacher takes roll call and it isn't until twenty minutes into the class when I realized I haven't read the note. 'I don't know why I would bother reading it, it is probably just something vulgar that I…..' my thoughts dead pan as I look at the note in question and stare at it shocked.

Double D,

My heart swoons for you like it does for no other, I have watched you from afar and cannot stop thinking of you. I am not ready to give up my identity but I will give you a clue. I am not who you would expect at all. I hope you will soon be mine.

Yours Truly,

Your Secret Admirer.

'Surely this is a joke' I think to myself as I look up and glance around the room. 'who would like me? I am not saying that I am unlikable because I may be a 'geek' or 'nerd' or whatever vulgar term you would like to use but I am still rather attractive at 5' 8", rather on the skinny side rather than muscular but my wardrobe style has changed and instead of wearing my usually preferred sweater vest and tie, I opt more for old rock band t-shirts and my usual khakis. Eddy really liked the change in me because I am not so 'up tight' as he puts it. Ed does not seem to care either way as long as I still spend time with him.'

'Well I must not dwell, I need to finish my school work' but as I try and concentrate on my English I find myself drifting off to think about who this 'secret admirer' might be and if they are male or female because, and although no one knows, I am Gay. If it is a girl, then I do not really care to find out who it is, however if it is a male then of course I am rather intrigued.

The bell rings and I realized I had not been paying any attention at all to the time. I pack my stuff ready to go home, looks like I will be bringing my English home with me anyway. I move to stand when I notice a certain red head is looking at me. I feel my face start to heat at his gaze. ' oh gosh I really hope he doesn't see my face and want to hurt me, or he just wants to hurt me in general… oh no this is bad, bad bad bad bad bad!' I think trying not to panic but as soon as I look back at his desk he is gone.

I let out a weak sigh as I grab my bag and head to my locker. I see Ed and Eddy by it already and I sigh again. 'I really hate lying to them about my sexuality, well I guess it is only lying by omission but still I do not think they would be to upset'.

"Hello gentlemen" I say as I go to unlock my locker. "And how are you both?"

"Oh Double D I had the best time in my math class I remember some of the stuff from last year!" Ed yells in my ear. We, well I am in 11th grade, and Eddy and Ed were supposed to follow me but decided not to tell me they both failed 10th grade and have to take it over again. We argued all the way until now, and I figured three school months is long enough to argue about. It is October and I just want to enjoy it with my friends before it starts to get cold again.

"Well that is marvelous Ed! And how was your day Eddy?"

"Fine" Eddy says and shrugs his shoulders.

"Eddy got a D on his test this time Double D but I got a D+!" Ed says proudly.

"Congratulations Ed but I know you can do better than that, both of you" I reply.

"Whatever let's just go, I have to work in an hour and I need to shower before I go." Eddy says. Eddy had to get a job over the summer break because he wrecked his mother's car and he needs to pay for the damages. We start walking towards the cul-de-sac when I remember my note. I continue thinking about who it could be when I remember the clue about them not being who I would expect.

I look over at my two best friends and say "Eddy you wouldn't happen to know anything about a love note would you?"

"What are you talking about Double D? Did you get a love note?" eddy reply's looking skeptical.

"Why yes I did but…" I say as I pull it out of my pocket, eddy reaches for and yanks it outa my hand.

"oooh who's it from?" he says as he opens it.

"I don't know Eddy it just says from your secret admirer" I say as Ed runs circles around us not paying any attention. 'Maybe it was him' I thought, 'no although he is not who I would expect, I do not think Ed could write so nicely.

Eddy shoves the note back at me as we stop in front of my house "I don't know Double D, but I think it is a prank." He says as he walk to his house "see you tomorrow" he waves and Ed runs back to give me a quick hug before trailing Eddy

'Well I guess I will just have to find out on my own.' I think as I enter my own home to do my work and chores.

Kevin's pov

'This is so stupid. Why can't I just tell him I like him… 1 he's a dork! And 2 and probably more important is he is a HE!' I scream at myself in my head. I wrote a love note to a certain dweeb that has been catching my eye lately. 'it's the dreams.. its got to be the dreams…' I started having dreams of Edd in the beginning of summer, after I got to see a little more than I was expecting when I looked across the street to see into his bedroom. Ever since he is all I could think about sometimes and even just seeing him in school will cause me to get a hard on, so I have been trying to avoid him. 'I am not gay… am i?' I have asked myself this over and over again and I do not know the answer. I had assumed that I liked Nazz enough that it was a straight thing but I've never felt the way I feel about Double D with anyone else.

I left my last class a little early to be able to tape this stupid note to his locker, everyone would assume it is just a hate letter anyway, oh no what if he does to and he just throws it away! I'll just have to make sure he gets it then. I smack the not on the locker just as the bell rings and I make my way over to the end of the hall. I see Double D coming down the hall and it's like those old love movies, everything around you slows down and it is like no one else is there. I shake my head and look down 'god damn it what am I doing. This is stupid and…. Fuck!' I see Edd grab the note and look at it then up and around like he is looking for someone specific. I whip around and head to the bathroom right next to our next class, study hall.

In the bathroom I throw water on my face. I groan 'what the fuck kev, that was a dumb idea and why did I take off like that? its not like I am afraid of him or something' I think. I dry off and head to class. I compose myself and walk in like nothing is wrong but out of the corner of my eye I notice Edd is looking at me. I feel a grin crawl on my face as he whips his head to look at his desk, I sit down and take a glance back at him, 'aww he's blushing, god he is so Cute!'

I feel my phone go off and look down to see a text from a guy on the football team with me, asking if I am going to the party tonight. [yea I think so, ill let you know if I change my mind] I reply and look back to Edd. 'oh shit, he's got the note!' I watch him read it and it is taking a long time before he looks up and around I close my eyes like I am sleeping I open my eyes and he has a scrunched up look on his face.

I should see him tonight.. I can make up some excuse of why I need help or something. We have math together so that will work' I think as I sigh contently looking back at my phone to fiddle with it till the bell. It rings and I look over at Edd who looks completely startled out of his thoughts and he looks right at me. I can't move as I just stare into his eyes from across the room and then he looks away abruptly and just like I am out of a trance I stand and get out of the room fast adjusting my pants so no one can see the boner I have. I go down to the locker room and get ready for football practice.