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For Her Sake

Chapter 4

The bottle Yusuke cracked open was a bottle of very fine Makai whisky and he poured everyone a glass as Kurama poured Kagome a little sake. Together they raised their glasses and said "Kampai!" as they drank it down. Food was passed around and the mood became light and joyful even merry as they enjoyed each other's company. Kagome had had sake before in the Sengoku Jidai and could for the most part keep up or at least she could till Jin with a smirk dared her to taste the Makai whisky…

Kagome raised a hand to her forehead and softly groaned- she was never drinking again- ever. A warm arm tightened a little around her waist and she blinked. She swallowed trying not to move. Carefully she peeked through her lashes and her eyes met a firm lithe very naked figure with crimson hair. Okay this was awkward. She slept with Kenshin, no big deal she could handle that, he was a nice guy and sexy not mention he treated her like gold, she could do worse. She closed her eyes determined not to make a big deal over this. He would probably panic thinking he had disrespected her or something. Fuzzy memories of the night before made her heart rate pick up a little as she thought of sinful cinnamon spice kisses. And two pairs of hands caressing-wait two? Her eyes widened as hand obviously not Kenshin's lightly squeezed her outer thigh. It was too bold a move for the samurai she was now aware was watching her face as she unconsciously leaned back to give herself some room to-

Then she became aware of a firm chest behind her and the owner of the other hand gave her thigh another almost playful squeeze before moving back to where it had started. She bit her lip stifling a moan. What on earth had she done?! Her eyes glanced down to see a bandage wrapped hand on her naked hip before it quested lower where she stopped it hearing a dark chuckle behind her. Okay, she amended; she had slept with Kenshin and Hiei. Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap! And she was stuck between them as they both held her. Um- this looked like it was bound to be really awkward. Why weren't they growling at each other, as she was certain neither was happy about the other's hands going where they – hey whose hand was that and what did he think he was- Ooh those hands- she remembered the pleasure from those hands…

A light stinging on her neck made her cringe a little and she winced before her eyes shot wide. Her neck stung on both sides. That could only mean…Please tell me I didn't! She begged as she tried to calm herself down. If it were just Hiei or just Kenshin it would be ok, but no she'd never done anything by halves had she?! Nope, when she got in trouble it was always up to her eyeballs. She closed her eyes taking a deep breath. Had she not only slept with them but mated them? How did this happen? No, no she knew how it happened she corrected herself mentally she knew tab a fit slot b, but not how she ended up sandwiched between two of the sexiest youkai she had ever seen and met-less than a week ago! Oh hell, they probably thought she was a floozy. Oh man she had slept with them both did she have no morals?!

Now they were bound to her and they probably both hated her. Her heart sank at that thought well it was fun while it lasted she let her eyes wander the expanse of fine youkai flesh before her eyes as they misted over. 'I should get this over with, like a band aid, quick and sudden.'

A mouth lightly caressed the mark on the right side of her neck and she shivered. The hand on her hip moved with purpose as it slid down her leg and gasped her knee pulling it up to rest on the hip on the youkai in front of her, Kenshin. Hiei moved closer to her back to allow him to spoon up behind her, the arm wrapped around her waist slid up as a hand tangled in her hair. She felt him shift forward as his lips met hers in a shy almost hesitant kiss. It quickly became apparent they were trying to keep her from panicking. "Uh-wait just a second okay- Let me think." Kagome tried to say as she took another deep breath.

"You 'think' very loudly onna; you have since the moment you woke." He sounded very calm considering the position they were all in and bound with. Wait this was so wrong. All of it was so very wrong but-

Kagome had two choices she could accept that she now belonged to two very powerful and sexy youkai and that they would never leave her alone again or she could panic and alienate them both. Kagome was good with the unexpected and didn't panic in fact she grabbed two fistfuls of crimson hair and pulled herself up straddling Kenshin boldly as she kissed him back. She might be theirs but she couldn't remember much from the night before and if this was her mating day she wanted some memories to go with it.

Kenshin must have felt the change in her and surrendered to the passion she was awakening in him as his kisses became bolder and hotter. Letting go with one hand Kagome reached over and caressed the solid chest of her other mate drawing him into the moment too. Kenshin's mouth left hers and Hiei quickly took his place. Hands were everywhere as Kenshin and Hiei worked together in sync to please their little mate.

Hiei clearly had no interest in Kenshin as Kenshin had no interest in him, but for this morning they seemed to ignore the awkwardness of being in bed with each other and focus on her. Nimble slender fingers plucked at her taught nipples making her moan and gasp as Hiei worked with quick touches to mercilessly drive her up to the pinnacle of pleasure only to stop and bring her down only to do it again and again. She reached up, finally and roughly grabbed his black spiked hair "If you stop again-," her threat turned to a long moan then a breathless gasp of his name. Hiei liked that. He was fire wild and untamed but Kenshin was air and he soothed the fire with tenderness. Kagome trembled against Kenshin as he tipped her head back gently and kissed her.

The kiss she gave him was sweet and accepting. As the passion ebbed and they lay quietly she played a hand through his hair and one entwined with Hiei's hand as she lightly rubbed her fingers over his. Now it was time to talk.

"Do you regret it Kenshin?" Kagome asked softly.

"Only that it happened under the influence of alcohol and not clearer heads." He said honestly he must regret what he viewed as shaming her, but she wasn't ashamed she was smiling up at him again.

"You know, this wasn't what I planned either but it works better this way I think."

"Why is that, Kagome?" Hiei asked speaking for the first time.

"I saw you both naked and liked what I saw now I don't have to be embarrassed that I did." She giggled. "Kenshin looked like a fish out of water and I hoped you hadn't caught me Hiei."

"You think very loud Kagome. I heard your very descriptive enjoyment of my figure. If you hadn't run I might have asked you to join me to- was it- lick the drops of water from my yummy looking skin? And how did you reference Kenshin? Sexy beyond belief with that really hot-" Kagome laughed at herself interrupting Hiei's statement before he could embarrass her further.

"I came back in and all I could say was that I was in big trouble."

"Hn, I know- I find I like this naughty side of you Kagome."

"So you don't think I am a woman with no morals I mean I did jump in the sack with both of you. Curiosity who's idea was this?"

"Yours Kagome dono, you um started kissing me, and then you kissed Hiei and demanded we both take you to bed. I tried to argue but you pushed me down and the rest is rather-,"

Kagome would have slapped her forehead had she had a hand free. "You mean I practically raped you?"

"You can't rape the willing and it was very sexy onna, hearing you tell him how you wanted it and then telling me to make you scream."

"Heh- well alcohol doesn't usually make me hot and bothered it must have been that Makai stuff."

"You drank some Kagome? It's toxic to humans."

"Good thing I'm not human huh?"

"Do you regret this Kagome dono?" Kenshin's voice and actions told her that he had to ask; he had to know if he had done something she hadn't really wanted even if she had started it they had finished it.

"No, should I? I mean what's to regret?" she gave him a sultry smile "I thought I would live my life alone and outside of everything never actually allowed happiness. But now I have two strong capable males all to myself. Maybe it's not exactly perfect and lacking love right now, but I like you both and I was obviously attracted to you. So Kenshin, no I don't regret anything. Now stop beating yourself up Battousai and put that mouth to better use..."

….

Kagome gulped mouthfuls of fresh air as her eyes snapped open and she reached for the sides of her neck. Unmarred skin met her fingertips and she sighed. Thank the kami she had refused Jin's dare. Her dream had been crazy and forced her to consider everything in a different light. Kenshin or Hiei was there a choice really to be made? She shifted and felt an arm holding her tightly but it was clothed and she was still dressed as well sort of. Save the memory of some very intense kisses she knew nothing had happened. But she had fallen asleep wondering what Kenshin would think the next morning. At her side Hiei watched her thoughtfully.

"Did I kiss you last night?" Kagome asked her mouth dry.

"You did; and kissed the kukiyoukai too. I assume that was the reason for your very confused dreams. I however had enough sense not to let you order me into your bed. He is sleeping off the headache I gave him. If and when I take you to my bed it will not be under the influence of alcohol. My life belongs to you, Kagome. Who does your life belong to?"

She closed her eyes. "If I was to answer candidly right now, I would say both of you," She hoped he would not be angry at her admission.

He loomed over her for a moment as she lay under him and then he seized her lips and took her mouth in a heart stopping kiss that left her breathless and wanting. It was a taste of what he could give her- what he could teach her. But if she gave in she knew that it would only be a matter of time before she would love him wholly. If she hadn't begun already to feel affection for him; they shared a connection no one could replicate after all. Painful as it was he had set her free and altered her life forever. And it would hurt worse to know he could never be hers, even more so if he lost his soul. He was youkai and she the siren call to his darker side, she was the living embodiment of the Shikon no tama. He saw her open her mouth to speak and placed his fingers to her lips. "Take the time to think, don't answer now. I would never willingly share you with anyone. However I am bound to your whims, so if that dream was your desire I would have to accept it and fulfill it without reservation. There were some parts of it I would not object to in the slightest..." With another kiss that left her trembling he rolled off the bed. He walked silently to the door and opened it. Turning his face slightly so that she could see his eyes he spoke again, "Kagome there will be no other for me." Then he left the room.

If she chose the Kukiyoukai- then he would let her go, not easily, but for her sake he would be as she asked. Kenshin was the only male he would ever trust her heart with if not himself. Being within his mind he had been privy to every thought and feeling and knew he had honor much like his self. He had a deluded idea of salvation and death, but as a youkai he would learn in time that it was the humanity in his mind and that youkai were different.

Maybe it was constantly being in the head of a silver tongued kitsune and Kenshin's straightforward honest nature that had loosened his tongue to speak the way he had, but he did not regret speaking his mind to her even if it was drastically out of his character. Kagome needed to know without any pretenses that she was wanted and desired even if she had become something she thought of as a burden to those around her.

…...

Kenshin woke putting a hand to his head and groaning as he licked his dry lips. He had never had a hangover quite like this one and he was very certain he never wanted a repeat performance. If Yusuke ever suggested cracking open another bottle he was going to run, fast and as far from it as possible. His mouth felt dry and sticky as he smacked his lips in disgust. The previous night was a blur. He recalled the toast and tipping back the beverage, but then things came blurry to his frazzled throbbing head. His lips tingled as though something softer than silk and sweeter than honey had pressed against them, branding him and claiming his heart and soul forever to be at the whim of a soft voice, gentle hands and vibrant blue eyes. Kagome dono, she was amazing and more beautiful that anything he'd ever seen in his young life.

He was only 19 after all- (or was he?) -though life and experience had changed him. In the length of his life; he had lost his family, been sold to slavery, witnessed and nearly experienced death at the hands of bandits who slaughtered everyone for the pleasure and control it gave them, witnessed the bandits being torn asunder by a single sword and then spent the night digging with his small hands twenty shallow graves for the dead, became apprenticed to Seijuro Hiko, learned the Hiten Mitusrugi-ryu, became what he was under parole for, an assassin, met a woman he'd thought beautiful and had been "married" to her to protect his identity then in a cruel twist came to care for her and became her unwitting executioner. He had finished the Bakamatsu and before he had a chance to go far, been apprehended and torn from his time.

Now he was trying to accept it was a lie. Everything was a lie. He was not a human child he was a youkai. He was a powerful youkai. The death and bloodshed hadn't affected him as a human child who would have gone in to shock. To him it was natural; everything was born, lived and died. Even losing his parents he had not shed a single tear at their death now he knew why. They had not been blood, they had not been family- merely and means to an end, a way of survival. He had not actually cried at Tomoe's death either. He had never loved her, could never have loved her given that she was mortal and he would far out live her regardless of how they lived. He realized that now, they would have resented each other; She- him for unknowingly killing her true love and he her- for never telling him the truth. They would have lived slowly hating each other until something would have tipped the balance and either she would have tried to kill him or he would have snapped when the seal broke.

Someday the seal would have broken on its own and he would have changed, would have come to realize he thought and acted differently than the other's around himself. At that time his life would have been forfeit for the death he'd wrought before ever knowing he was different. This way he could live normally with others of his kind and learn how to be himself. He could live and fight by the sword and honor he valued and it was normal even natural to be as fast and strong as he was born to be. Here he did not have to hide from his truth and strength. He did not have to lower his head in shame as a murderer but could instead accept himself as a survivor. He could grow stronger and feel no guilt as he did. The youkai, his team mates would teach him to be as they and he would have something he'd never dreamed of, friends. Hiei dono was already as close to a friend as he had ever had.

He had so many questions so many burning questions-who was he really if not Kenshin Himura? What did it really mean to be youkai and was it possible his parents, his true parents had survived? Why did he desire so strongly to protect only Kagome? What drew him to her so completely that he would kill for her? And why did he have the desire to possess her, take her body with fury and passion and hide her from the world? Why were his eyes drawn to that space of flesh at the juncture of her throat and shoulder with such single minded purpose and why did he ache to bury his fangs there and lap away the sweet life nectar as he drew it.

Surely that was something he should fight with all his strength, though he was not terribly experienced in matters of the heart did not mean he had not listened to the men in the Ishin Shishi with him. He had heard their soft declarations of love and passion. Had he the opportunity he could have had many a woman like they but he had never wanted that- Had never felt such desire as he felt for Kagome dono. Just the thought that she had pressed her lips to his made him burn with such desire it was impossible to believe he was of air and not fire.

….

Kagome pulled air into her starved lungs as she tried to sort through her jumbled thoughts as though every connection in her brain had just short circuited all at once. She couldn't think, couldn't move. The taste of Hiei was still on her swollen lips and her throat was thick with emotions. Silent tears slipped down her cheeks at the magnitude of what Hiei had said- had offered-had asked. Could she even consider the idea-even think of having any male the way Hiei offered even silently with his actions? Did she want to feel the things he had made her feel when he kissed her? He had awakened her body to the passion she had merely tasted with Inuyasha, but this was something new and something different this was raw, wild and sudden not tamed and tender; cultivated over the months and years she had spent in the Sengoku Jidai.

This was affection not desire. And the difference hurt. It was so acute that it was certain to leave scars, un-seeable scars upon her heart even as she considered the idea. She realized with the cutting clarity of a bittersweet blade, that she loved Hiei, it was too late. That day when he held her as she wept, that day he had given her his life placing his fate in her hands she had seen him differently. She loved them both. Kenshin's quiet yet comforting manner and respect, his silent power that was as beautiful as it was deadly. A choked sob bubbled out of her chest as she felt the near physical pain of being impaled upon a proverbial sword. (A mating mark won't stay on my skin, the jewel will heal it. I can never be fully claimed by anyone. No youkai would want that. Knowing that their mate is not theirs to keep would drive a youkai mad. I cannot have either of them. I will always be alone...) her heart was bleeding, dying within her chest and she couldn't move to shield herself from the pain.

Suddenly he was there, slender hands pulling her to his chest as her tears wetted his kimono once more. She knotted her fingers in the raggedly repaired rough fabric as great shaking horrible silent sobs wracked her body. His hands smoothed through her hair and down her back, pulling her closer holding her as though to keep her from shaking apart. There were no words to speak none were needed. His quiet actions spoke for him. Kenshin was there, his quiet strength his desire to protect her even from pain spoke softly to her battered heart. His hands rough with calluses from holding and wielding a sword for years, were gentle as he touched her. Those hands that had mercilessly slaughtered so many without care, showed none of the hesitance from before to touch her. He did not duck his head and utter self depreciating humble statements as before, instead he whispered comforting words, in his new found confidence; words that to her meant more than any riches or gold, "I'm here Kagome dono, I will not leave your side."

Hearing his words something inside of her snapped. Anger at the injustice of her existence bubbled up from a depth she was not aware of within her "I was doing fine! I was alright with the idea I was alone, until you came! Just leave me alone!" Kagome closed her eyes pushing him away. Standing up she stormed out of the room leaving him sitting on the bed where she had been when he came in. Blinking in confusion he debated following her but she had ordered him away so finally he got up and returned to his own room hoping he would have another chance to speak with her again. It didn't seem that the fates were too keen on hearing his hopes.

…

Kagome it turned out was very good at dodging both himself and Hiei. Always finding a way to not be there alone and always finding some excuse to leave the grounds with either Yusuke or Kurama. Once or twice even Botan, (whom had been delivered as promised two weeks to the day that Yusuke made his threat) had gotten her out of the house to go shopping. As long as she kept her energy at a minimum she was as safe as any human from the Reikai.

Just as Kurama promised, three weeks after taking her to the temple they had been moved into their own apartment the floor above Kurama and Yusuke's but instead of it being a three bedroom it was four and instead of just being Kenshin, Kagome and Hiei, Kurama moved in as well, due to the fact Botan had taken his room needing a place in the living world to live and not wanting to be further away from Yusuke.

Time had passed both swiftly and slowly and before any of them realized it- three months had passed and it was nearing the last few days of winter. Spring was in the air and with it came the feeling of renewal and hope.

Hiei, after the first two months of being ignored, had decided to go to the Makai to check in with Mukuro and inform her of his situation. It was frustrating how easily Kagome dodged him and impressive at the same time. How was she so good that that?! He'd caught her alone once, but he had barely gotten two words out before she was gone. Damn it at this rate he wouldn't get another chance to talk to her. He gazed at the human calendar Kurama had given him and frowned mentally calculating the time he'd been gone. It was just too irritating to be around her and to see the pain in her eyes as she brushed them off. He growled. Kenshin had offered no assistance as to the change of her attitude either. He was just as baffled. Growling again Hiei stormed out the door of his rooms and down the hall. Throwing open the door to Mukuro's suite he glared at her, "I'm going back and I don't give a damn what you say."

"Good," Mukuro snapped back, "I was getting tired of your mopping and brooding! Get the hell out and don't come back to whatever stick is up your ass is gone." Hiei was livid but left without ceremony. Mukuro frowned after him as she picked up a pen and some paper. She had a missive to write.

…

Kenshin was tired of this game of cat and mouse that Kagome was playing. He was tired of hearing her literally collapse into bed after the apartment had gone quiet and he was tired of never getting the chance to speak to her properly. He had discovered that entering her room after her as she was going to bed resulted in a futile attempt unless he wanted to feel great amounts of pain. She placed a barrier around her room youkai could not enter at night. Hearing her get up and make her way to the kitchen he silently walked down the hallway to confront her. Before she noticed him he hid in the shadows and observed her. There was tension in her shoulders and as she glanced down the hall and at the door he could see longing in her gaze before determination filled her eyes and she turned back to her task. Kenshin was not going to let her retreat. Soundlessly he moved behind her and in one deft move pinned her to the wall trapped within his arms. She gasped and swallowed at being caught.

He searched her eyes and paused, there was such a delicate hope, a fragile longing in her eyes that he could not find the strength to not lean forward and take her lips in a tender loving kiss. He tasted tears on her lips and they burned his heart like acid. Regardless the consequences it was too late. He loved this beautiful, powerful, fragile creature in his arms. He loved her more than he dreamed possible as a human. It was only as a youkai he had the strength to love her as she needed to be loved. The words flowed from the depth of his soul. "Kagome dono-you will hide no longer from me. I will not let you hide your heart or your pain. I belong to you and I see you hurting. Take comfort in me as you once did before and let me help you heal. That is after all how one says they hold affection for another right?"

Kagome leaned back with wide startled eyes her mouth slightly open with surprise. "Wha-what?" she asked as though she didn't trust her voice not to break. The warmth that began blooming in her chest spread through her like a soft wave, healing her and mending up the pain in her heart that had nearly consumed her before. She didn't dare to hope she had heard correctly though she knew there was no mistake. Slowly she raised her eyes to his and saw the sincerity within his amber eyes which had softened just for her. They were still the dangerous inhuman eyes of a killer, of a youkai, but they had warmed with affection radiating from his very core.

"I believe I love you, Kagome dono," he repeated with no less fervor. He cradled her face in his hands using his thumbs to wipe away her tears mindful of the shortened claws at the tips. Her eyes locked with his and he saw a wealth of emotions in those sapphire depths. Fear, worry, sorrow, pain, hope and last, it was so fragile it pulled at his heart, love. Her hand covered his.

"Elementals mate for life and I cannot be marked as yours. It is the cruelest joke to be played; I can give my love but never keep it. It can never be fully reciprocated." she whispered waiting for him to pull back his hands to retract his love. "You shouldn't love me, Kenshin." He now knew that she could never be his in the youkai sense, but his hands would not let her retreat or hide.

"I know, but I do." There was no lie in his eyes and no hesitation in his words. He didn't have to think twice.

"You have no idea the risks, the consequences of what you say. You risk your very soul, Kenshin." Surely he didn't know the risks of loving her. If he knew the danger he would do the smart thing and let her be. Let her shrivel up and bleed out on the inside losing all feeling and emotion till her heart would become dust and love a distant memory. She was destined to be alone for her mistake. For a wish made without ill intent, but not selfishness was what she had done. Thinking of freeing everyone for the burden and at last no longer weighed down with the responsibility she never wanted. That last thought cost her everything. She could not do the same to the two she loved. Yes, she loved Hiei probably always would but it would be unrequited always, for he would never love her as she loved him. She knew that now. To Hiei she was something to possess to hold and guard, but to Kenshin, from the beginning, the moment he caught her in his arms as she fell was something to cherish and protect.

Kenshin's mind flashed very quickly through the risks as he calculated the actual danger to himself versus the utter contentment and joy he found in her presence. The risk was great but loving her, being with her, was far out weighing the danger if there indeed was a danger. When he spoke it was without hesitation and there was no pause from her words to his answer.

"I would dare any risk for your happiness Kagome dono." Her eyes fluttered closed as he leaned forward slowly to seal his love- his vow upon her lips. It didn't matter that he could not keep her as Hiei had wanted to because he had been raised human. To him one showed love and devotion through marriage not a mark. If she would have him he would willingly make her his wife and his world, but that would come. This was a start and they were just beginning. He wanted to learn everything about her and she to know him. But when the truth was revealed would she want to love him? Would she shun him when she knew the truth? Hesitantly he pulled back.

"I wasn't finished kissing you, Battousai." She whispered against his lips her eyes still closed with no sign that it bothered her to close her eyes so tightly with him. "You had that title as a human, now you are your true self. A Kukiyoukai, that's the Kenshin I want to know better." She said with a shy smile that went right to his heart.

"I would like nothing more, Kagome dono, may I perhaps call you less formally, by your name alone?" Kenshin asked politely with just a touch of shyness that tugged on her heartstrings.

"I would like that, Kenshin."

"I believe I interrupted a kiss." He said before moving into take her lips with another kiss, this time the hesitance was gone and the tenderness was interwoven with an unmistakable undercurrent of passion. His hands delved into the silk of her hair as she did the same twisting her nimble fingers into the crimson strands of his soft hair. She wanted him to deepen the kiss, to take what she offered, but though he nipped lightly at her bottom lip he did not increase the passion. This was only a kiss and wouldn't go further- not today and not until they were both certain this, whatever this was becoming, was what they both wanted. He knew what he wanted was to have her and hold her as her friend her lover and her husband, but it was too soon to ask her to be all that. Her heart regardless of what she said needed time to heal and to accept what she wanted and to deal with whatever Hiei had said or done.

Slowly he broke the kiss and brushed her bottom lip, with the side of his knuckle, of the wetness left behind from kissing her. She smiled brilliantly before jumping up and throwing her arms around him. He caught her effortlessly and she laughed. It was the first time he had ever heard her laugh so freely and so joyously. The sound thrilled his heart and washed away whatever doubts he still had. He had made her really laugh. Then her stomach growled and Kenshin chuckled quietly and he laughed a full laugh unlike anything he'd ever done before, even as a child he'd never felt like this, never laughed like this. He had always been a serious child never playful or lighthearted. But with her it was hard not to want to throw off the masks he'd always worn and be free. Taking her hand in his he kissed her palm before speaking. "You should get dressed and I'll make breakfast, Kagome."

"Okay. see you soon then." She said watching him start before retuning down the hall and flopping back on her bed. She had a lot to think about, later she amended she would think on them later when she had a moment to herself and time to just think. Maybe in the bath or she could go swimming or something. Walking over to the bag of clothes Hiei had brought her months ago that she had never touched till this moment, she began to dig through. The clothes Hiei had purchased for her were interesting and she found a pair of loose black pants and a fighting robe that was of all colors, fuchsia. She smiled slowly thinking of the trouble he must have had buying pink anything. Then her eyes landed on the assortment of lacy under things tossed into the bag. Why were there so many pairs and colors? She didn't need anything like that. A fiery blush tinted her cheeks as she shoved the see through lace panties to the bottom of the bag. She was going to have words with a hiyoukai and he wasn't going to like what she had to say. Her energy was rising and she heard Kenshin curse as her door was thrown open.

"What is it Kagome?" he asked

She didn't have time to speak as another voice demanded, "Have you no sense of self preservation onna?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" she met his glare evenly giddy and livid that he had come from nowhere to yell at her. Really?! Her eyebrow twitched as she pulled her hand from the bottom of the bag. He blinked in confusion at the wad of pale lace he pulled from his face as it hit him with a dull thwap.

"Care to explain Hiei?" she was more than annoyed. Was this what he had meant by his seduction that day? He thought she was easy? That she would fall in to his arms and bed with no hesitation? He stood there looking at the lacy garment and her ire soared as did her energy.

Her eyes blazed like blue fire and his mouth went dry. She could kill him should she wish, he an S class youkai she could turn him to ash. Her hair was starting to billow around her and his tongue seemed to be stuck. "I- uh- onna I don't shop, I asked some-er onna of questionable status to assist me. I don't know what is in that bag!" he stammered very quickly. How was it she was just seeing all of this?

With his words she grew angrier her mind refusing to process how uncomfortable he looked. "You mean Hiei that you asked a whore to pick out clothes for me and didn't think she would not pick what she would wear?" Kagome reached in to the bag and pulled out hand full after hand full of silk and lace lingerie. The only thing that wasn't lingerie was the outfit she had on and that Hiei had spotted and picked out himself.

With every bunch of lace and silk Hiei got paler. He had made a huge mistake and if he had the chance he was going to hunt down that conniving wretch and make her suffer every moment of humiliation he was now. Suddenly the wind of her power went out like a candle flame. Her face was blank for a moment and then she choked. Her voice was icy more so than he had ever made his own, "you have the wrong idea about me. I am not to be had for wanting."

"Kagome-that's not-," His eyes locked on the tears pouring down her face. "Damn it onna, I never meant I wanted to use you! I wanted to love you in the only way I know how! When I said I wanted you, I meant all of you not just your body but your heart and soul. Think onna if all I wanted was your body I could have had it as you threw yourself at me that night. I could have slaked my lust and been gone before you ever opened your eyes. But I didn't, that has to mean something to you." Hiei wanted to shake her, she wouldn't let him apologize. "I said if and when I take you to my bed it will not be under the influence of alcohol. I wanted you to know it was me you were coming to with a clear mind and wide eyes."

"As long as I come to your bed my feelings don't matter? How can you be so cold?"

"How can you be so dense? I was trying to say that I loved you!" Hiei exclaimed.

"Sex does not equal love Hiei!" Kagome shouted back. "You offered nothing of yourself but passion. You never once said love,"

"I know that! The only thing I know of love I learned from you! For you it's been a year, for me it's been five hundred! I wanted to be sure you were worth risking my life and soul for!" She recoiled as though he had physically struck her.

"I died for you! I let Sesshomaru tear me to shreds, so he would spare you! You murdered my Inuyasha and I gave what would have been my life for you! And what did you do with my gift Hiei? What did you say to me as you left?"

"I said you were a pathetic fool and- that I should kill you for interfering." Hiei's throat was dry and a sick feeling coiled in his belly. Guilt churned within him as he thought of what she must have endured for his sake. Sesshomaru would have made her suffering greater as a punishment for shielding an Imiko. Try as he might he could not stop his mind from showing him her fragile body torn asunder by the heartless youkai lord. He could not stop hearing the echo of her scream that he had not known was hers that day.

His head hung and his shoulders slumped. He had no right to think he had the chance to be with her. He had insulted her in every way possible, and now could not face her- could not form the words to ask for the forgiveness he now knew he had no right to hope for. She had forgiven him once and it was beyond even her to forgive him again. "Onna you said you wanted my friendship, is that still-,"

"I don't know Hiei, I'm too angry right now." She sighed before walking over and taking a very bewildered kukiyoukai samurai by the hand leaving Hiei standing alone in the middle of the room. Kenshin's emotions too were in flux and Hiei could tell he was torn between wanting blood and wanting to comfort Kagome. Hiei sighed heavily he couldn't see any way to fix this. He'd never come across this sort of situation before and had no clue how to even start making it right. But Kurama would and could help him. He'd said he wanted him to find happiness so the fox would have to help him. He couldn't do much worse- unless he killed her dog-oh yeah he did that already too. Damn.

….

"Well Hiei, I'd say that you slaughtered that attempt spectacularly." Kurama said rather speechless at how badly Hiei had damaged things between himself and Kagome. He set his book down on the park bench and sighed rubbing his forehead with his fingers. Hiei hadn't bothered with words and simply opened the Jagan and let the conversation speak for itself. Of course being as he was, Kurama could see the intention had not been to hurt Kagome nor to make her feel like he didn't love her, but Hiei obviously had no skills with the fairer sex. One did not ask a prostitute to select clothing for another woman, and one never assumed a woman would be his lover unless the relationship had reached such a point first.

Of course in his mind Hiei had not thought anything of asking a Makai "onna of questionable status" because he knew them and thought they would at least know how to shop for a woman, something he did not have a clue how to do. That he had gone to a courtesan of such standing was rather impressive. The ninny had probably thought the clothes would be for her. Kurama knew the female personally and though she was skilled in some ways in others she didn't have a speck of intelligence.

Hiei was going to have to call in favors if he wanted this mess sorted out. And with how he was hanging his head in embarrassment and shame he did want it sorted out and badly. "Hiei, I think I know a way for you to at least make this up to her. It might be the only way to get her to simply be your friend once more Hiei. In her mind you impugned her honor, treated her like a sexual object without regard to her feelings and then gave her clothes which she felt was your way of telling her, her place. You have hurt her badly Hiei and it will take time to heal if it can be healed. So I suggest that you get her a bouquet of flowers and grovel. Let's be on our way Hiei."

"You are serious, Kurama? I know nothing of groveling or flowers! I hate them! The only thing they are good for are weapons in your hands, fox."

Kurama sighed moving quickly even as he spoke. "Well Hiei I hate to put it this way but if you don't fix this, I will have no choice but to fight you for her honor. You have done something very wrong Hiei and the only one who can save your life now is Kagome."

Faster than Hiei expected Kurama seized his hand and in one move a stinging sensation made him flinch and look at his hand in horror. "Yes, Hiei it is exactly what you think, I have planted the seed of the death plant in your body. It will remain dormant until this debacle is corrected one way or the other. If Kagome refuses to forgive you, I will put you out of your misery. I think of it as a mercy kill, as your best friend it will be the least I can do, for you, for your sanity."

Hiei looked pale and ill as he looked up at Kurama in abject terror. "Take it out Kurama." His voice actually quivered as he trembled slightly. This was something he couldn't fight, he couldn't see, couldn't stop - it terrified him.

"No, Hiei. This is for your own good." Kurama said shaking his head and steeling his heart against the pleading in Hiei's eyes that literally was breaking his heart. Hiei looked so very young, was so very young compared to him, compared to his many years. Hiei had behaved like a child, a dangerous child, but a child nonetheless.

"I meant it, Kurama, take it out of me! I'll fix this I swear." He knew Kurama, and knew that even now he would kill him without a second thought and he would do it for him. This was why he had become friends with Kurama so he would never be on the receiving end of his terrible pets. Even though he was a hiyoukai and could burn them for the most part now that the seed was in his body even he was powerless to destroy it. He an s class youkai was reduced to begging for his life like a child and he hated every second of it. He hated that he had fought for power his whole life and now his life came down to a single mistake. He didn't want to die like this. Give him a battle, give him a sword give him an honorable end but not this pathetic ignoble death at the fury of a plant. His honor his strength what did they matter now at this moment?

Shame burned through him and he realized that this was a lesson in humility he had been to contemptuous and presumptuous and proud when he had approached Kagome. It should be her he begged for his life, it should be her as his judge, jury and executioner- not Kurama- not like this. It was her he had wronged and it was to her he would plead for his life, even if he had to beg, borrow or steal to earn her mercy; which he knew he'd been unworthy of at the beginning. He was a warrior and though terrified, he too would stand tall and embrace death should fate decree this to be his end. His trembling stopped through pure strength of will and his hand became a fist. "Let's go."

Kurama was pleased with the change he saw in Hiei as he pulled himself together and felt the need for forgiveness; humbling himself and realizing that it would take effort and not strength to fix this. Hiei had never been good with emotions or considering any one else, feeling wise and Kurama knew it would take a large gamble to make him see the truth. Kurama normally didn't gamble unless he knew the odds were in his favor and he never knew what his odds were when it came to Hiei. Someday he feared Hiei would take the initiative and take him out during one of these times. After all there was only so far you could push someone even for their own good.

Yes, it was the seed of the death plant he planted and he would carry through his promise if he had to, but only because Hiei had chosen not to live without her. It was obvious how hurting her, was killing him. The look Hiei gave him said he understood and now Kurama could help him to not only save his friendship but his life as well. If this was to be his last days then Hiei needed to make peace with his life.

"Let's go, Kurama."

"No, you will go to the Makai; I will stay here and put together an appropriate bouquet for you. Then the rest is up to you. I suggest that you make your peace with yourself while you are gone Hiei, because I-,"

"No, Kagome will forgive me. I have to think that she will." Hiei stood up just as a solid punch hit his jaw throwing him back as an angry Mazoku approached cracking his knuckles.

"Hiei, I just saw Kagome bawling her eyes out and she was talking about you- what the hell did you do?!"

…