Safe and Sound

She walks up and down the vestibule holding the small bouquet of flowers detective Anderson left for her on the dresser. She can't breath. The silky white dress barely touches her skin but she feels like she's dying.

The woman in the mirror is someone she can't recognize. With her hair cascading in soft waves, her eyes are smokey and her cheeks are blushed, and her lips are some shade of coral Jamie thought looked nice. She looked beautiful - and she looked scared. She forced a smile at the woman in the mirror and for a moment she believed she was happy. Jacob had made sure she was happy, she was happy. But she missed him.

Dexter had been gone for nine months now. She had hated him when she had realized she had been left behind, but she had rebuilt, like so many times before. She had put on a strong front and pushed forward, moved on. Their friends had questioned her on his whereabouts the first couple of weeks, but then they had begun to forget him. It was almost as though he never existed.

She never returned to Miami Metro, instead she had stayed on with Elway Investigations. Jake and her would work late nights, and sleep in late mornings. He would make her laugh, and take her seriously. At home, he'd pick up after her, and on nights she would wake up in a cold sweat with dreams of gunshots and plastic wrap, he would hold her tight and fight away the demons for her.

He'd proposed on New Year and she had said yes, because it was normal and so much better than last year. The sounds of him making love to her that night had drowned out the fireworks and she had cried as she came, and once he had fallen asleep she had walked out onto the patio and looked at the moon. She wondered if Dexter was looking at that same moon, and if he missed her. The ring shone in the moonlight and she smiled, because for the first time since he had left she felt normal.

Right now she didn't. Her palms were sweating and her ring finger felt heavy and numb.

The ficus by the window behind her rattled in the reflection of the mirror. She turned around to inspect it and when she saw him she could hardly believe her eyes.

"Hey Deb." Her mouth was gaping open and he could have been a ghost for all she knew.

"Dex?" His hair was darker, and so was his beard. He approached her cautiously, but she could not have wrapped her arms around him tighter.

"Dexter! Oh my god." Her voice shook, and her hands inspected his face and neck, attempting to convince herself that he was really there. That he wasn't a dream this time.

She finally rested her head on his shoulder and held him tight, breathing in his scent. Rejoicing in the warmth of his body.

His palms spread wide across the top of her bare back and at her waist pressing her close to him, and she felt so small. A lot smaller than he remembered. He had missed her so much. She was warm and soft and reminded him of everything that's good in the world.

She sniffled into his shoulder and he pulled apart to see her. She was crying, and smiling. She couldn't decide weather she was happy or sad to have him standing there, so close.

"Why did you leave me?" She asked. Nothing was more important than that question. It had haunted her for so long. He was her everything, and he damn well knew that.

He smiled and stopped a tear from running down her cheek. "I wanted you safe."

She punched him in the shoulder and swiped her nose like a child. "Bullshit, I left with you. If I had found you, I would have followed you anywhere."

"I know. I didn't want you to follow me."

She drops eye contact, and gets lost in the buttons of his shirt. He was right, she wouldn't have let him go had he stayed close. He had left no trail for her to follow. She had felt so alone. Her palm lays smoothly on his chest, feeling his hurried heart beat under his navy blue shirt.

"I love you, Dex."

"I love you too, Deb." His hand slides down her side laying limply on her waist. Her dress is long and white and it falls on her perfectly. His thumb glides lightly under her eye catching another tear before it has the chance to smear her makeup. Deb chuckles lightly.

"Me in a dress, I look like a transvestite." He smiles at her.

"You look beautiful." She looks up at him, at his khaki pants at his dark navy shirt. He looks the same, he feels the same. His hands are still on her waist and neck and they burn. She almost wishes he would trail them all over her and spread the searing sensation he's subjecting her sensitive skin to.

There's a knock at the door. "Deb, babe? You ready?" She clears her throat, as the realization dawns on her. She's about to get married, her future husband is at the door.

"Ye- yea, one second. I'll be right out."

"Ok! I'll be the handsome one at the altar." He joked, outside the room, unaware of Debra's inner struggle.

"Ok." She answers almost silently.

Dexter cradles her face in both his hands and looks into her teary green eyes. She's so beautiful. His thumb lightly grazes her lips and her eyes flutter close.

"Please stay." She begs softly of him, taking hold of his forearms.

"I'm always with you Deb." His hand presses her chest softly, above her heart and she can no longer hold back her tears. She loves him dear god, she never stopped. "Right here."

Her hand catches his as it lays on her, and she brings his hand up to kiss his palm.

"Please, please don't leave me." She cried, and mascara threatened to spill over from her eyes.

"Shh Shh Shh" He whispered to her as he sat her down in front of the mirror. "Stop Deb, stop. Look at yourself."

She looked in the mirror and saw him holding her hand. She looked, and saw her brother. She remembered him holding her hand as she learned how to ride a bike, as she learned how to swing a bat, how to hold a gun.

She sobbed silently. She didn't want him to go, and yet she understood. He didn't belong here anymore, in her world. And she wondered if she could possibly belong in his. She wondered if maybe in some alternate universe if Harry had never adopted him, Dexter would have just been a dorky spatter analyst that she would have met on her first year of homicide. They would date casually, and eventually decide to get married, and this would be their day, and she wouldn't feel a hole at the pit of her stomach imagining her life without him.

He swipes her eyes one last time as she calms down. She finally exhales with acceptance and rebuilds herself.

He kisses her forehead and lingers there, Deb sobs lightly. She raises her head so that their foreheads touch. Their eyes closed for a couple seconds.

His lips finally touch hers and she smiles. It's chaste, but she holds him to her by the neck and allows herself to linger there. Pressing various soft kisses to his lips.

"You're going to make him really happy." He whispers brushing his lips to hers.

"I fucking hope so."

He stretches his arm out to help her and she takes it, getting up from the chair. She checks her face in the mirror, the damage is minimal and she touches it up quickly while Dexter waits at the door with her bouquet.

"I better hear from you soon." She says as she hugs him one last time.

"You will." He promises. He looks her up and down once more and he's impressed by how much she's grown. By how normal she is now that he's gone.

"I love you bro." She smiles and exhales, laughing shakily.

She walks down the corridor and out the doors, where all their old friends are waiting. He hears the wedding march start and quickly makes his way to the window. Jacob Elway looks at Debra walk out and he looks overjoyed. She's a dream in white.

He watches out the window until the two kiss. Deb laughs and Jacob leans in for seconds, kissing her tears away. Everyone claps and cheers, Angel, Masuka, Captain Mathews, and even Quinn who leans over to kiss a very pregnant Jamie. They were all better off without him.

His heart feels heavy, like the last time he was determined to leave her. Only this time it feels cold and bitter because she'll no longer love him. He leans his arm on the window and remembers a time when he thought if he could have feelings for anyone, they would be for Deb. He feels them now.

Hannah and him are no longer in love. They're friends, allies. But she could never compare to Deb. Steak and beer where replaced by oranges and tea. They both enjoyed each others silence, but they mainly lived in the past. Remembering and wishing the other was somebody else. Harrison was blind to his parents dry and bitter love, or at least Dexter hoped he was. But he's a smart boy, he'd pick up on it eventually. Just like he had picked up on his aunt Deb's absence, and Jaime's, and all of their old friends.

His compulsion, his need. The disease that had forced him to leave Deb, had left him. Killing no longer filled any empty spaces, because without her, he was all empty. She had been such a big part of him, it had taken him too long to realize it. When he had heard that she was getting married he had finally felt his heart break. She was no longer his.

Amidst the celebrating Deb glanced up and caught his eyes on her and waved goodbye. She was free of him, and that kept her safe, that kept her happy. She would soon start a family, and she would someday forget him, and he would go on feeling nothing for the rest of his life, but he would at least know that his sacrifice would keep her safe and sound.