Title: Crayola

Rating: Rated T.

Pairings: None.

Genre: Parody.

Summary: When he first saw it, Zoro knew that it was the item of choice for him. Crack. Dedicated to my wonderful friend Cana-Puff, as it is her birthday today.

Regarding Q&A: Any questions regarding the story can be asked via PM or review.

Beta: N/A.

Warnings: Language and stupidity.

Category: One Piece.

Uploaded: August 11th, 2013

(Section Break)

Zoro's eyes widened as he walked into the shop, having been looking for new katana to replace his old ones. However, something that he hadn't known he had wanted was staring at him.

Green crayons.

They weren't normal crayons, no – they were, in fact, perfect, amazing, wonderful green crayons. He walked over to one shiftily, glancing over his shoulder once or twice. He felt the shopkeeper's narrowed eyes on him and he looked at the man a bit sheepishly. He shrugged and turned back to the magnificence that had drawn his attention. He picked one up, rolling it around in his hand. Its paper coating was rough, he noted, but not rough enough for his calloused hands to be hurt by it.

He grinned, picking up the whole barrel and taking it to the cashier. The man looked at him incredibly oddly before ringing him up, the total being less than he had expected. With the little leftover money he had, he bought two new swords, each one with a name. He tucked them away in his (green) waistband and put the crayons' barrel top on it before hauling it off, scarcely avoiding bumping into a woman who looked hauntingly like his childhood friend.

When he got back to the ship some time later, he was relentlessly asked about what was in the barrel. He didn't tell them, opting to go to sleep. During his sleep, his captain opened the barrel. He shouted for his crew to come.

"What is it, Luffy?" Usopp inquired, walking over.

"Look!" he said again, pointing in the barrel.

"Are those...crayons?" Nami questioned, sweat-dropping.

"Why would the shitty marimo buy a bunch of crayons?" Sanji wondered.

Luffy shrugged. "Let's ask him!" he suggested, immediately kicking Zoro. The swordsman woke up gruffly, glaring at the rubberman.

"What?" he bit out.

"Why'd you buy a bunch of crayons?" Luffy asked bluntly, pulling a few out of the barrel. "I mean, we were running low, but why did you have to buy all green? I can't draw the ocean using green!"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "I didn't buy them for you, Captain."

"Then who'd you buy them for?" Nami asked, a smirk appearing on her face.

"Myself," he answered.

"But why?" Usopp queried.

He glared at the brave warrior of the sea before sighing and resting his head back against the wall of the ship. "Doesn't matter," he grunted, going back to sleep. He heard Luffy groan in sadness and could sense that the witch's smirk hadn't faded. He was surprised that the shitty cook hadn't said anything in regards to them, but dismissed the thought in favour of sleep.

Later on in the crew's adventures, during their "stay" on an island called Punk Hazard, one could see Zoro fighting with giant green crayons. When asked about them, he'd blush embarrassedly and chuckle nervously, not explaining that Dracule Mihawk had spotted the crayons and instantly made Zoro train with them. Robin had idly wondered why they worked as well as his swords.

Zoro didn't explain that he was secretly a wizard and that those green crayons actually had shared a spiritual connection with him. He also didn't explain that those green crayons had ended up saving him from a fate that would have gotten rid of his hair and replaced it with hair that had been drawn-on with green crayons.

Nope, Zoro decided, he would not explain that those green crayons were actually his kin.

(Section Break)

You're welcome, I guess. This was so shitty I don't even omg

(Creampuff-chan don't kill me I know it's awful ;3;)

Well, if you review, virtual cookies. If not, that's fine too. As long as you like the story, everything's all good!

Shameless advertising: Cana-Puff is a cool person – go bother her for a while. I have two different parody One Piece one-shots, by the way, called A Toast to Life and The Importance of Grammar respectively. Check them out if you're interested!