Broken
Author: dword
Rated: G
Disclaimer: Joss, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy, etc own all, I own nothing (even my car belongs to the bank) I'm just borrowing...
Dedication: To Jac and Tag, thanks for the encouragement and the sneak peek. To Dennis for what almost was. To Arkin for being such a dear friend. To JBG for her AU in the Buffyverse. To Koala for Matched Set.
Author's Note: Just want to warn everyone that is expecting Smoochies or mushiness... Sorry this is kinda angsty. Been in an angsty mood lately.
********
"What are you going to do Buffy?" Xander asked as they sat together on the couch in the training room. "Are you just going to let him leave?"
"Let him leave?" she replied softly. "He's determined to go. For my own good."
Buffy, unable to sit still any longer, popped up off the couch and began pacing. Xander waited for her to burn off some of her aggitation before he continued their conversation.
"If YOU tried hard enough you could get him to stay..."
Buffy realized Xander was right. She realized that he saw the the truth she was afraid to admit. If she admitted it, then she would have no one to blame for the emptiness in her heart that would be there after Giles left. With a heavy sigh and resignation evident throughout her body she returned to her place on the couch next to Xander.
"You're right Xander, I could make him stay." She took his hands in hers and continued, "MAKE him stay. Be selfish Buffy and make him stay.I could but for whose good would that be? I could keep him around and use him as a crutch... let him handle all the unpleasant things I don't want to deal with, let him take responsibility for my life and Dawn's. And he'd do it...Because he cares for me... and Dawn he'd do it, and anything else I asked of him. But like he said I need to do this on my own. I'm not a child anymore. And he deserves so much more than that."
Buffy took a deep breath, forced back the tears that threatened, and gave Xander a small weak smile.
"He's given up so much for me, lost so much. He deserves to be happy, to have a real life. And I want him to have that. I want so much for him. I don't think he will ever find any of that here on the Hellmouth. If I let him go maybe he will. At least he will be safe... Oh Xander! I need him to be safe! He would never be safe with me. This way at least he has a chance..."
Xander watched as a single tear tracked down her cheek. He gave her hand a squeeze in understanding then got up to leave.
"OK, Buffy. I get it. I'm going to go pick up Dawn at school, what are you going to do?"
"What he wants me to... Grow up, live, get it right this time... make him proud..."
She waved goodbye as Xander left and closed the door to the alley, then she finished, "And love him 'til I die."
*******
Spike and Giles stood in the the front of the store and watched from the shadows as the Slayer fell on the couch and sobbed her heartache.
Spike turned to the Watcher and said, "Well Rupes, let me be the first to congratulate you."
"Excuse me?"
"You have accomplished what the Master, Angelus, the Mayor, Adam, me in my heyday, and Glory the Hell God couldn't."
"What?!?"
"You broke her."
END
Author: dword
Rated: G
Disclaimer: Joss, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy, etc own all, I own nothing (even my car belongs to the bank) I'm just borrowing...
Dedication: To Jac and Tag, thanks for the encouragement and the sneak peek. To Dennis for what almost was. To Arkin for being such a dear friend. To JBG for her AU in the Buffyverse. To Koala for Matched Set.
Author's Note: Just want to warn everyone that is expecting Smoochies or mushiness... Sorry this is kinda angsty. Been in an angsty mood lately.
********
"What are you going to do Buffy?" Xander asked as they sat together on the couch in the training room. "Are you just going to let him leave?"
"Let him leave?" she replied softly. "He's determined to go. For my own good."
Buffy, unable to sit still any longer, popped up off the couch and began pacing. Xander waited for her to burn off some of her aggitation before he continued their conversation.
"If YOU tried hard enough you could get him to stay..."
Buffy realized Xander was right. She realized that he saw the the truth she was afraid to admit. If she admitted it, then she would have no one to blame for the emptiness in her heart that would be there after Giles left. With a heavy sigh and resignation evident throughout her body she returned to her place on the couch next to Xander.
"You're right Xander, I could make him stay." She took his hands in hers and continued, "MAKE him stay. Be selfish Buffy and make him stay.I could but for whose good would that be? I could keep him around and use him as a crutch... let him handle all the unpleasant things I don't want to deal with, let him take responsibility for my life and Dawn's. And he'd do it...Because he cares for me... and Dawn he'd do it, and anything else I asked of him. But like he said I need to do this on my own. I'm not a child anymore. And he deserves so much more than that."
Buffy took a deep breath, forced back the tears that threatened, and gave Xander a small weak smile.
"He's given up so much for me, lost so much. He deserves to be happy, to have a real life. And I want him to have that. I want so much for him. I don't think he will ever find any of that here on the Hellmouth. If I let him go maybe he will. At least he will be safe... Oh Xander! I need him to be safe! He would never be safe with me. This way at least he has a chance..."
Xander watched as a single tear tracked down her cheek. He gave her hand a squeeze in understanding then got up to leave.
"OK, Buffy. I get it. I'm going to go pick up Dawn at school, what are you going to do?"
"What he wants me to... Grow up, live, get it right this time... make him proud..."
She waved goodbye as Xander left and closed the door to the alley, then she finished, "And love him 'til I die."
*******
Spike and Giles stood in the the front of the store and watched from the shadows as the Slayer fell on the couch and sobbed her heartache.
Spike turned to the Watcher and said, "Well Rupes, let me be the first to congratulate you."
"Excuse me?"
"You have accomplished what the Master, Angelus, the Mayor, Adam, me in my heyday, and Glory the Hell God couldn't."
"What?!?"
"You broke her."
END