Chapter 2: Tragic Optimism

Coyote Starrk, arrancar number 1, only wanted to befriend somebody, anybody, caught in a maelstrom of madness and utter loneliness now lay on cold hard concrete of truth, despair, and last dying breaths.

"I may have joined out of my own selfish and warped intentions, but I don't think I ever did wrong," he blinked although he knew that the blurred image of skyscrapers and a blue swipe of blue sky would be the last image he'd take to the grave, no, into nothingness. "Though my intention was never bad will my action determine my fate?" What fate? He scoffed and almost felt life laughing, but the pain in his body wouldn't let him, well anyways he only sort of felt like laughing.

"I'm sorry, Lilynette. I'm sorry…me."

May, taller than most women, with coal black hair, walked rather quickly through the empty evening streets of Karakura Town though her slightly slumped shoulders would serve as indicator to most for nonchalancy of character, not rush. A curvy woman, a beautiful woman, preferred to hide through baggy clothes and an indifference to the world around her. She was a warm person, but never showed interest to form attachments, at least she was never the first to strike. She kept to herself and she was content.

May, ex soul reaper, picked up her pace as she walked home. She couldn't shake this feeling of an unknown disturbance, but knew that whatever it was was no longer her business and even if she wanted to become involved and find out what it was, no use would come of it seeing as she was no use in solving it. She sighed in certain annoyance, but also condemnation as all that was left to do was get home as quickly as she could and as safely as well. For the first time in several years she longed for that which was lost, mocked it stupid, laughed about it, herself, and then continued with the remainder of the day which was not much.

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May usually let pour the cat food from wherever she'd be standing, watching it fall to the ground, most of the time out of the food bowl as she drifted away into memories, hopes, and lost dreams. Today, however, upon waking found out that she'd been spared her lousy work and that Paws, her individualistic roommate, despite the unimaginative name, was already helping himself to breakfast. She slid past him, creating a scraping noise with her slippers and poured herself some coffee, the waking solution for all humans.

Last night sleep had evaded her and though at the last hours before waking she had held onto a few productive in between naps, she hadn't gotten total repose. She let her head fall loudly in grimace. May, ex soul reaper, had long lost her meaning in life, much before she had lost her power, but even in a different world, a new start, a meaning escaped her, but even so "the realization of meaningless itself means nothing." She sighed as she turned to see what her Paws was up to. She let her mind drift off, for she was a drifter, oh yes, a constant one too, but not too bad that she'd ever let herself remain immersed in that world for too long to make any large mistakes which couldn't be proven fixable.

She wasn't a loner though. She had company, every so often, and though she could never fully partake in real conversations they kept her in shape well enough to appear functional, knowing that her visitors could very literally appear whenever, wherever they wanted to. She may have lost her powers, but not her friends and they often stopped to check in on her, or so she was convinced. When certain things wouldn't budge, or when things wouldn't stop falling, she'd know they were there, teasing, taunting, trying, trying really, really, hard to make her laugh and snap out of this lifeless living. She'd try to please them and sometimes she meant her act, too. Truth was she missed them, all that she knew of family, but she'd know there'd be no way to ever really meet again, or so she convinced herself on that matter as well. On days like these she wondered the possibilities of hope, that if she really wanted to, would hope give her wings? Would hope materialize and her power come back? What was she thinking, she moaned in frustration and shooed away the thoughts as she stood up and wondered what would keep her busy today, laundry or running for groceries.

"Okay, let's start with the…living room!" And so she began undressing pillowcase after pillowcase, grabbing small blankets to large ones. She didn't need to ponder long whether or not to wash her carpets when she accidentally spilled orange juice on it while inquiring the very question. She tried to take off the curtains, but proved that even though she could almost touch them, it was still an almost and hopped on a short stool to accomplish the task. She was halfway through the task, first batch of laundry was out and she had hung out to dry a few things when on her way back indoors she noticed three of her books fall of their shelf. She rolled her eyes, "Not now."

She ignored them well enough, not even bothering to pick them up. She actually avoided the whole area pretty well, being that she was going to raid her room next and it really wasn't until she was almost back out that she noticed two more books fall. She let a small smirk appear on her face as she went out. She wondered who it could possibly be. Regrettably, she could never quite tell who it was visiting, but she had learned to be thankful for whatever company she had, whatever way it came, well not out loud anyways.

The outdoors had put May in a good enough mood and she was now softly humming. Paws wandered around outside sniffing here and there only to lay down somewhere by the rose garden May tried to keep, tried. "Oh," May turned her attention to where the noise was coming from. "Is it mine?" she wondered. A phone rang and it disturbed May for who would call? Nonetheless, she thought she'd peep in and see if it indeed was her's, one that she kept more of custom rather than necessity.

It wasn't her phone and she wouldn't have paid any particular mind to it until a loud crash startled her. To her side, her bookcase had completely fallen over. It hadn't occurred to her to be any of her old friends, but even so she cried out a soft, "It's not funny." No sooner had those words escaped her that all her house rumbled and shook and she felt she'd tip over in the motion that she felt hands, real hands wrap around her mouth and pull her back. She felt arms, real arms, and pointlessly tried to tug free. She had been caught off guard thinking nonsense and hadn't ever given the thought something out of reality could occur. Her eyes teared and her screams muffled, but before she knew it her world turned dark. She felt her body go heavy and pass out.

Author's Note

I have never rewritten a chapter so much, but at long last it came out the way I hoped it would. There's still some things in the plot I'm trying to figure out but I'm leaving some things to ugh chance? Sometimes I feel stories just write themselves, or at least part of them appear out of nowhere, so I'm not going to cry if I can't fit a widget into the plot. ^^

Anyways, I have no words that express my happiness of getting my first review. It was not only a first (review), but from xLilim, the best writer I know and aspire to write as! It was really the fact that she was going to be reading my updates that got me really nervous and made me want to excel in my writing! After all I didn't want to "turn in" anything unworthy or short of her expectations. Now I know I'm not on par with her but I hope to at least show improvement! haha ^^; Well anyways, if anyone wants a good read check her stories out (they're amazing!) especially, my all time favorite, Masquerade.