This is the second Sabriel fic that I've written, so I hope this is good.

As always, R&R!

Enjoy!

Sam, Dean and Kali made their way out of the Elysian Fields motel. Sam opened the back door for Kali to enter as Dean got behind the wheel. Sam had his hand on the door handle of the passenger door and froze. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and it was making him feel nauseous.

He looked back at the motel and he knew he had to go back in there. He didn't know why, but he had to help Gabriel. He let go of the door and ran. He ignored his brother yelling after him and went back to the banquet hall where they'd left Lucifer and Gabriel.

Sam got there just as Lucifer plunged the angel blade into Gabriel's chest. He gasped. His eyes caught Gabriel's when Lucifer delivered the killing blow. Sam felt tears fill his eyes as he watched Gabriel fall lifeless to the floor, the shadow of his wings etched into the floor. This was the third time that Sam watched someone he loved die.

He wanted nothing more, in that moment, than to kill Lucifer right where he stood. Sam couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. His legs felt like jelly and his knees were about to give out under his weight. He finally tore his gaze away from Gabriel's lifeless body and looked over at Lucifer.

"Why?" Sam choked out around a sob.

Lucifer seemed to finally notice that Sam was in the room. He turned to face his true vessel.

"Because Sam, I can't have you distracted with pointless relationships. Even if he was my brother." he saw how broken Sam looked. Lucifer walked over to Sam and looked into his eyes. "Sam, I'm doing you a favor. As soon as he got bored, you know as well as I that he would've left you."

Sam ignored Lucifer and forced himself to move toward Gabriel. He fell to his knees at Gabriel's side, the tears finally falling. Sam reached out his hand and stroked lovingly over Gabriel's face before carding his fingers through Gabriel's dirty blond hair. He half expected Gabe to rouse at the tender touches. Sam longed to look into those amber eyes, always filled with mischief and playfulness.

His gut clenched up in tight knots because his angel was gone. The first person he ever loved, since Jess' death, won't come when he's lonely or when he needed him. He lied down beside Gabriel, curling his taller frame around the archangel's smaller one.

He rested his head over Gabriel's lifeless heart, wishing he could hear it just one last time. He let the floodgates open and soon his face was soaked with tears. He gripped Gabriel's jacket tight in his fist, holding on to the one thing that kept him going; that kept him strong. The one person who soothed him when his fears took on a life of their own or when he and Dean had a fight, Gabe would listen to and comfort him as best he could.

He stayed curled around Gabriel, forgetting that Lucifer was there and didn't notice when he left. He didn't know how long he lay there, but he was pulled out of his grief by Dean's hand on his shoulder. Sam turned his tear-stained face toward Dean.

"He's gone. He's really, really gone. He can't be gone. What will I do now? I can't live without him."

Dean rubbed Sam's shoulder comfortingly. "C'mon Sam, we gotta get a move on. You need time to grieve and process." he helped his grief-stricken brother up off the floor.

Sam couldn't take his eyes off Gabriel's lifeless body as Dean gently led him from the room. Another tear slipped down his cheek and whispered, "Please, don't leave me" before making his way to the Impala.

He made Dean watch the dvd Gabriel gave them alone. He couldn't bear to see Gabriel so alive after witnessing his death; it was just too much. When they reached their current motel-of-the-week, Sam went to his bed and curled up on his side, hugging Gabriel's pillow and inhaling his sweet scent. He fell into a fitful sleep, nightmares plaguing his mind. After the third attempt at sleep, Sam decided to just get up. He made some coffee and poured himself a cup and sat down at the table, staring into space.

Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months and Sam just went with the motions. He threw all his energy, what little he had these days, into research and trying to find a way to pull the plug on the apocalypse. He barely ate and slept and spent most of his free time drowning his sorrows and grief in a bottle of Jack.

Dean was becoming very concerned about Sam's behavior. He's seen this before with their father and he doesn't want Sam to head down that road. He tried everything he could think of to cheer Sam up. He even tried helping with the research. All that got him was a sad smile and a, "Thanks but I got it."

Dean slipped out, while Sam was sleeping, and called Bobby.

"I'm really worried about him Bobby. I just—I don't know what to do. He's acting like dad after mom died. I'm afraid that he's gonna do something stupid; Lucifer stupid."

Bobby listened as he took a sip of whiskey from his flask. "Dean, you know as well as I do that Sam won't do that. He's just grieving. Give him some time and he'll bounce back to his old self."

Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. He leaned against the wall beside their motel room door and closed his eyes.

"I know Bobby, but I can't stand to see him like this. He barely eats and gets maybe an hour or two of sleep a night, if he's lucky, before the nightmares set in. And he drinks nothing but coffee and Jack Daniels. And when he thinks I'm not looking, he cries. It's like Jess all over again."

Bobby sighed. "I don't know what else to tell you son. Just, look out for your brother, ya idjit."

Dean huffed out a laugh before hanging up and headed back inside. He toed off his boots and stared at Sam's back, shaking with his silent tears. Dean sighed as he burrowed under the covers.

"Don't worry Sammy; I'll help you through this. You just have to let me in." he whispered into the darkness.