Chapter One: Days Drag On

Bella's POV

I watched as the moving truck disappeared at the end of the road, and finally lost the nerve in my legs. I slowly sat down in the spot he'd just vacated and brought my knees up to my eyes, crying. I cried for his job he'd loved so much that he gave up. For Edward who was going to change cities and schools when he'd been doing really well. For myself.

This wasn't how it was supposed to end.

Those eight words played relentlessly in my head as I finally headed back to campus. Alice would tell me he did the right thing and that'd he'd be back. Jasper would tell me it was for the best and now I could finally find someone my age. Emmett would hate me. I took a few minutes to clean up before heading up to my apartment, but Alice knew something was wrong.

"Jasper?" She asked as I set my bag down. "Can you go pick up food?"

"Sure," He smiled, getting up and grabbing his keys. "Anything you girls want?"

"I'm not hungry." I lied. I was starving, but I didn't want to eat anything. I only wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep forever.

"Get anything as long as it isn't healthy." She told him. "And if you could, get a lot of junk food."

"Anything for you." He cooed as he bent down and kissed her cheek before leaving. Alice didn't ask any questions, she helped me get into bed and made sure I had the remote. After Jasper got back with the food, he got the hint I was going to need her and graciously left to go home. She stayed with me, basically spoon feeding me my food, but she didn't ask.

She already knew.

She made sure I was comfy and made sure all knives were out of my reach. She knew I'd talk when I was ready and I was not ready. At all. She took my phone from me and finally let me be alone. The thing she forgot to take was his sweatshirt and the pictures of us. I pulled the sweatshirt of my head, soaking in his smell and held the picture in my hand as I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning was one of the worst I'd had at college. It was nearly impossible to get out of bed, and when I finally did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I barely made it to our bathroom without crying myself silly, and I already knew it was going to be the worst seven months of my life. I knew I had to pull myself together...I had to get through this year.

If I didn't get through this year with my head high and my grades ever higher, everything Carlisle lost would be a waste. I had to do well in my classes and try to maintain a social life. I wasn't the type of girl who needed a guy on my arm to be okay. But, Carlisle wasn't just a guy. He was my guy and I loved him. I missed him already and it hadn't been twenty four hours.

"Bella?" Alice asked through the bathroom door. "You almost done?"

"Yeah," I yelled when I realized I'd been in the shower for at least a half hour. I got out, dried off and threw on yoga pants and one of Carlisle's t-shirt.

"You can't wear that." Alice scolded once I came out of my room.

"Why?"

"It's Dr. Cullen's." She pointed out. "People will know."

"Let them." I cried.

"Bella, go change right now." She ordered and I didn't have the energy to fight her. I changed out of his shirt and into one of my own before pulling on my UGGS and walking to class. The class went by slower than my entire high school career all together. By the time lunch time rolled around, I was about to drive off campus into the city and just play hookie.

But, Alice wouldn't let me do that. She walked me to my last class of the day and made sure I went into class. This breakup was going to kill me, but at least I had Alice to watch me and keep me on track. I was grateful to have her.

Once my day was finally over, I headed back to our apartment, grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerry's and climbed into bed. I so badly wanted to pick up the phone and call him, but I knew I couldn't. Who knew what Dean Gregory could find out and I wasn't going to risk it. The only thing that was confusing me is that Dead Gregory told me a student told him, but he told Carlisle a professor ratted us out.

The thing I really wanted to know was who it was that found out. Alice would never say anything and she had Jasper wrapped around her finger. He didn't rat us out either. Emmett was too scared Carlisle would lose his job that he would never say anything. Then, who had told? None of the people who knew would say anything. I knew that for a fact.

"How's she doing?" I heard Jasper ask as they made dinner a week after the breakup. "She doesn't seem any better."

"She isn't." Alice agreed. "But, she isn't giving up."

"Giving up?"

"On life." Alice explained. "She is getting up and going to her classes. She isn't eating much, but she's eating. She's going to keep going or else everything Carlisle did was a waste."

"What are you guys making?" I asked as I walked to the kitchen. "I'm kinda hungry."

"Shaped Mac N' Cheese." Jasper laughed. "We can make more if there isn't enough."

"You don't care if I crash your date, do you?"

"Not at all." Alice smiled. "We'd be happy if you ate with us."

"Thanks." I smiled, sitting down. At least I had the two of them to count on. We actually spent a very pleasurable night together. Jasper and Alice didn't play the love stuck couple they normally do, and they were actually able to drag me out of the apartment to the student lounge. Alice wasn't letting me drink, but it was entertaining to see Jasper getting a little tipsy.

"Thanks for tonight." I whispered as she catered to a passed out Jasper on our couch that night. He sure was a lightweight for as tall as he was.

"I'm glad I got you out of the house." She smiled, pulling a blanket on top of him. "I didn't know how much I could take."

"Yeah, well it's going to be a while until...I'm back." I told her.

"Bella, what happened?" She asked. The only thing I told her was he had to go for my own good. I finally realized it was time I told her the whole truth so I pulled her into my room and sat her on my bed. I told her everything from the meeting with Dean Gregory, to the photo's, to the last minute goodbye. By the time I was done, she was crying with me.

"Don't you dare start seeing someone else." She laughed as she gave me a hug. "I'll beat you if you do."

"I won't." I promised. "Not until I know he isn't coming back."

"He's coming back, Bella." She tried to assure me. "Carlisle was a good guy who loved you."

"Yeah, he loved me enough to give me more than a few hours warning that he was moving five hours away."

"You know he was just trying to process things and figure out a game plan." She defended. "And to make sure you didn't worry about it."

"Yeah, this is much better." As much as I missed him, I was pissed. I was so angry at him for only giving me a few hours notice. There were so many things I wanted to do before I said goodbye. I wanted to talk to Edward...really talk to him, say goodbye to his mother and actually have a real goodbye with him. I didn't even have a day to process.

"Where's Bella?" I heard Jasper's voice yell through the apartment almost two weeks after the breakup.

"She's still sleeping." I heard Alice tell him as I got up and pulled on my robe. I walked into the common room and he was flailing everywhere. "What's up?"

"Bella, have you seen these?" He asked, shoving pictures in my face. I took them out of my hand and looked at them before my breathing got heavy and my eyes widened.

"Where did you get these?" I asked, trying not to cry.

"They're all over campus." He whispered. Alice grabbed them out of my hands and I saw the color drain from her face. The pictures that Dean Gregory had were now all over the campus where everyone could see. Now everyone was going to know why Carlisle left and they would not be pleased. The only person I could think of who would go to this length to sabatage us was a blonde bimbo professor.

I grabbed the pictures from Alice, pulled on my boots and headed across campus to her building. I didn't even care that I was in PJ's or that she might have a class. Thankfully, she was in her office when I got there and I didn't even bother knocking.

"What did you do?" I demanded to know as I slammed the pictures on her desk. She stopped what she was doing on the computer and looked at the pictures, and only smirked.

"What I had to." She answered before going back to her work. I closed her laptop on her, which only made her angrier. "Can I help you?"

"I thought you liked Carlisle."

"I do."

"Then why would you do this to him?" I asked. "You got him kicked off campus."

"Well in my defense, I was hoping to get you kicked off."

"That wouldn't have made a difference."

"I don't know why you're so upset." She snickered. "I mean, can't you find someone your own age to fuck? Why do you need a guy who's almost fifteen years older?"

"We weren't just having sex and you know that Professor." I seethed. "You know it was much more than that. You just couldn't handle the fact he didn't want you!"

"He was blinded by you." She said, her voice not so confident anymore. "And your boobs."

"My boobs have nothing to do with the fact that Carlisle has NEVER liked you!" I yelled. "In fact, he HATES you, Maddie. Do you know how much of a headache you were to him?"

"Miss Swan,"

"You were SUCH a pain!" I told her. "You almost broke us up twice and now you've succeed."

"Took long enough."

"You know, if you cared about him like you claim...you wouldn't have done this to him. You wouldn't have exposed us." I explained. "Do you even know what love is, Professor Morris?"

"I know more than you, little girl."

"No, you don't." I argued. "Love is when you give up everything so the person you love can follow their dream. Love is...love is eating dinner with their family, weather you like it or not. Love is fighting for someone with everything you have. You...you don't know what love is."

"Please, you two were not in love."

"Wanna bet?" I asked. "Does this look like we were just screwing each other?" I asked, showing her the diamond necklace he gave me for my twenty-first birthday. Inscribed was the day he told me he loved me...that day two years ago. "You don't know anything, Professor. And now, you've ruined any chance you might have had with him."

I left her with that little thought and bolted out of the room. I should have known it was her. She'd been staying out of Carlisle's way for too long and I had a feeling it wasn't just because of her knew 'after school activities' with the head of the department. I went around to as much of the campus as I could to get the photo's, but NYU was a big school. There was no way in hell I was getting nearly any of them.

"So?" A familiar voice asked as I sat on one of the benches after I'd collected as many of the signs as I could. "The guy you were heart broken over was..."

"A professor here."

"Ah," He almost laughed. "I didn't peg you as a girl to consume yourself in an affair."

"It wasn't just an affair, Jake." I told him. "Believe it or not I wasn't just screwing the professor. I really loved him. We had an honest to God relationship. And they took it away from us."

"I'm sorry," He whispered. "I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay. I've been getting it all day."

"Well, it isn't anyone's business but yours." He smiled. "I heard her resigned."

"Yeah, so I could stay in school."

"He left so you could stay one more year?" He asked, sounding baffled. "Wow, it was a real relationship."

"I told you." I laughed.

"Are you over for good?"

"Hopefully not." I sighed. "But, we have to stay apart until I graduate...I'm not even allowed to email him."

"That blows."

"You have no idea." I laughed. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Nothing much." He sighed. "Leah broke up with me."

"Love hurts."

"I'm really okay." He assured me. "I was starting to get close to her, but I don't think I was in love yet."

"Good, cause love hurts." I laughed. "Still, it must hurt."

"It did, but I've kinda had my eyes on this other brunette with gorgeous eyes." He said, nudging my side.

"Jake,"

"I know, you're still fresh out of a serious relationship." He backed off. "I just...want you to know your options."

"I'll keep that in mind." I laughed. Jake and I had gotten closer since freshman year and he was one of my best friends on campus. He was a nice change of pace from Alice.

"So," He started. "Have you had your night?"

"My night?"

"To get shit faced drunk and not worry about breaking up?"

"No?"

"Wanna join me?" He asked. "I mean, I have had mine, but I was going to go to a party tonight."

"You know what?" I asked. "That sounds...fun." I laughed. Nothing had sounded fun in weeks.

I headed back to my apartment not much later and jumped in the shower. Alice was with Jasper for the weekend and I was free to do whatever I pleased. I got out of the shower, and raided Alice's closet. I settled on something sexy, but nothing over the top. It was just a frat party. I figured jeans, a fitted top and heals would suffice.

Jake was knocking on the door promptly at eight and I was actually excited to go out with him. I hadn't been to many parties since I'd gotten involved with Carlisle. I didn't feel like it was a good idea going to frat parties when I had a boyfriend waiting for me. I opened the door and I was taken aback. Jake was normally so simple. Jeans, a t-shirt and Chucks. Tonight, he had an open flannel, a leather jacket, jeans and Vans on. It was safe to say...he looked hot as hell.

"You look nice." He smiled as I pulled my jacket on.

"You do too." I laughed. He lead me downstairs and out the door. The party was at the Phi Gamma Delta house, not too far from my apartment. It was getting close to Thanksgiving, so New York had made the transition from fall to winter quickly. I did not regret wearing jeans.

"You okay?" He asked when he looked over and saw my teeth chattering.

"I get cold too easily." I laughed as we neared the house. He led me up the brick pathway and opened the door for me. Music was beating through the house and I could smell the alcohol from the doorway. Jake took my coat for me as I roamed into the kitchen where the keg was and grabbed to cups for Jake and I.

"Thanks." He smiled when I handed him the red cup. He chugged the beer and was already onto his second one by the time I'd drunk half of mine. "I think it's better to just chug it."

"I'm not really a beer kinda person."

"Me either." He laughed, chugging his second one. "That's why I chug it." I trusted Jake so I put the cup to my lips and quickly chugged the rest of the beer. It was gross, but it was better to just get it over with. Jake smiled at me, handing me my second one and I chugged that one as well. I was already starting to feel a buzz and we just got here.

"You wanna dance?" He asked as My First Kiss came on over the speaker. I grabbed each of us another cup and we made our way to where most of the people were dancing. I chugged that beer and he grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to him. Suddenly, I felt this heat and I couldn't tell if it was because of the beer, or Jake. But, I was here to have fun and I wasn't going to let this get to my head. I started dancing with him and once I started, I couldn't stop.

Once I was sure I couldn't handle any more beer, I made my way over to the shot glasses. I took three and I was gone. With those and the four beers I'd had, I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. This was the first time since senior year of high school that I could barely walk because of how drunk I really was. But, I was having fun and I didn't care.

Jake on the other hand, wasn't as drunk as me and cut me off when he thought I would be sick if I had anymore.

Just after Jake cut me off, Sexy Can I came on and suddenly, I was feeling a bit too friendly with Jake. We started dancing together again, just as before, but there was something different this time. At this point, I was sober enough to know I wanted it and I didn't care. I didn't want to be upset about Carlisle anymore. Not tonight. Jake seemed to be thinking the same thing and he lowered his head to my ears.

"You wanna get out of here?" He whispered in my ears, sending shivers down my spine.

"Yes," I nearly moaned back as he lowered his hands over my hips.