In which John Smith (the Doctor) and Clara go on a double date and John just can't catch a break.

It had started almost a week prior to the date, really.

Everything prior to July had gone surprisingly well. Almost too well, honestly. He should have seen this coming. It was only a matter of time before the universe decided it had run out of luck for John Smith.

Having just finished Secondary School alongside Amy and Rory, the trio had gone on holiday to America for the summer. It was the first time any of them had traveled a significant ways from home. And it really had been too easy. Blimey, even airport security had gone swiftly. Since arriving, they had gotten a cheap enough apartment that rented by the month (convenient, as they were only staying for three), Amy had gotten a summer job (one Rory was not a fan of) as a kissogram, and John had found a nice little coffee shop across the street that made his tea just the way he liked it (a little milk, a lot of sugar, in a big mug).

Not to mention Clara. Now, Clara was just smashing. They had met at a mall, not exactly the most romantic setting. Rory and Amy had gotten sidetracked in a music store somewhere, while he fetched the drinks from the vending machine. He had watched as this tiny little thing of a girl pointed her finger in a very cross manner at some tall bloke. How she managed to intimidate him from that height, he never found out, but the man just raised his hands in surrender and walked away. John had finally caught her eye a few minutes later and seeing as that was during the universe's less rebellious phase, he had actually caught a break. They got to talking on the little bench in between the music and movie stores.

She was British. He actually loved that, he had come all the way from England to discover new things and meet new people and he falls for the one British girl in a 300 mile radius of him in a country a million times bigger than their own.

She was definitely one of the feistiest girls he'd ever met, carrying enough sass to rival that of Amy Pond's. The two got along well enough.

It was when he asked her out, he supposed, that the universe decided his luck had run out. Rory was particularly excited about the weekend. Their first 4th of July in America was bound to be an experience. It felt a bit like betrayal to celebrate it, but he never could resist fireworks.

"Perfect day to grow a pair, Raggedy man." Amy almost sang from the other room as he and Rory played video games in the living room.

"I don't know what you mean, Pond." John shot back in the same sing-song voice.

"You've got her number, eh?"

"Yeah, I've got it."

"Have you called her?"

"Not yet. I'm getting there, don't worry."

"It's the 4th of July on Saturday, you know."

He scoffed. "Yeah, and we're both British. Have you noticed?"

"How daft can you be?" Amy strolled into the room and sat between the boys, leaning against Rory. "Think about it. Going to the beach. Dinner. Laying under the stars." Amy began to use her dramatic narration voice, "You softly brush your hand against hers as she subtly scoots closer. Your eyes meet in the dark. She leans closer. Your lips…" Dramatic pause. "Touch. The music crescendos, the fireworks explode over your head, it's magical. Don't tell me you haven't been thinking about it. Rory has."

Rory shrugs a little. "Might have been."

"Alright, yes. I've thought about it. But how's a bloke supposed to call a girl up and say 'Hey, it's John, the guy you met at the mall, wanna be my date of the Fourth of July?'."

Amy and Rory give him an "it's obvious" sort of look.

As it turns out, that worked in the end. And he says in the end because the first time he called, he ended up dialing the wrong number, the second time he called, Clara's Dad had answered, and the third his nerves got the best of him and he had ended up calling himself Shawn Smith.

The Universe's cruel mission continued the day of the date when he had to rush to the closest surf shop to purchase another pair of swim trunks, seeing as the first pair had a considerable hole in them. John did his best to not think of just how long that hole had been there and how often he wore that pair of trunks.

Among other curve balls thrown at him that Saturday, John experienced the joy of losing his wallet, being interrupted by a phone call from his Mum just as he tried to hold Clara's hand, Amy shouting something from behind them on the beach the second time he tried holding Clara's hand, and grabbing a stranger's hand instead of hers when in line for ice cream. He finally got a hold of her hand properly as they walked up the hill to a barbecue in the nearby park.

He was going to kiss her. He was absolutely, without a doubt, going to kiss her tonight. He, John Smith, would kiss her, Clara Oswald. He had always been so terrible with timing on previous dates. Amy had loved to make fun of him whenever he returned from a date with another disaster story. He had experienced everything from waiting a week and a half to kiss a girl to accidentally telling her that he loved her before the film had even started on the first date. John had gotten a spectacularly embarrassing teasing from Amy that night.

"Oh, now you love her do you? Let me guess, you're proposing tomorrow? Is she gonna be your wife one day?"

"Shut it, Pond."

That was not going to happen tonight. He would kiss Clara, and it would be amazing.

When the music started, she grabbed his hand and dragged him towards an empty patch of grass being used as a makeshift dance floor.

"I love this song!" She told him as they danced around each other.

"What song is it?"

"I've no idea!"

"I love it too!" John laughed as he danced (badly) closer to her.

A slower song came on three songs later, not a romantic tune, but at least they had a chance to stop flailing about. John gently pulled her closer. She would have rested her head on his shoulder but she wasn't quite tall enough. Her head lay against his chest, and the embrace became more of a moving hug and less of a dance.

John could see Amy and Rory motioning over her head from several yards away. Rory gave him a small thumbs up while Amy gestured wildly while mouthing "KISS HER YOU IDIOT" on a loop.

"Hey…" he looked down at her and whispered, "Are you having fun?"

Clara stopped and looked up at him with a smile. "Yeah. You?"

"Yeah, I am." John slowly leaned down to-

"Excuse me, mind if I cut in here?" A tall man with dark hair tapped John on the back and flashed Clara a flirtatious smile.

"I'm good, thanks." She shot back politely.

"Alright, no worries." The guy moved on, apparently unperturbed by the rejection. The music shifted to an upbeat song and John sighed, the moment ruined.

Amy returned with four hot dogs on a plate for the group. "Celebrating our home country's failure has never tasted so delicious, am I right?"

Rory nodded eagerly with a mouthful of chips.

"I absolutely cannot get over how amazing the cheeseburgers are here, have you tried one?" Clara asked.

"I know, right?" John agreed. "At the place, er what's it called again… the five guys place?"

"Amazing, they're absolutely amazing, I don't think I ever want to go home." She took an impressive bite out of her hot dog.

"The first day we were here, I think that's all I ate. Lunch, dinner, you think tea and biscuits are good, try tea and cheeseburgers." John suggested with a goofy smile.

"I might just do that, you know." Clara laughed. "I swear, I've had the same favorite food for years now but this country is mad, how does anybody pick one thing to like above everything else?"

"What was your favorite food before?" John situated himself so he was facing Clara instead of the group. Amy and Rory had struck up a conversation with the couple behind them.

"Soufflés. Not my own of course, I'm rubbish at making them myself but my Mum on the other hand… She made some of the best soufflés I've ever had."

"I don't think I've had a good soufflé in years." John set his empty plate down next to him. "That settles it. You'll have to set me up with one of your Mum's soufflés sometime."

Clara became quiet. "I wish I could."

John furrowed his eyebrows. "Wh-" He felt his heart sink in his chest. "Oh, Clara. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. It was a long time ago."

"Still. I'm sorry." He reached for her hand and ran his thumb across the back of it idly.

"You're a really good guy, you know." Clara smiled up at him. "I like you a lot."

"Yeah, me too. I mean- I don't, I don't like myself. I mean… I like you a lot too. Not me. It's not that I don't like myself, I don't dislike myself, I just meant that I liked you too." He stumbled over his words awkwardly for a moment.

"I understand. I do." Clara reassured him before giggling.

"Good." John looked over at Amy and Rory, who were now fiercely arguing with the couple behind them. Actually, it was more like Amy was fiercely arguing with the man while Rory and the man's girlfriend avoided eye contact. Looking back at Clara, he noticed they were sitting closer than when he last took notice.

Clara bit her lip gently and held eye contact with him for a few moments before leaning in closer. John tilted his head just a tad cl-

"Oh my stars, is that man on fire?" Clara jerked away as a drunk man ran across the field in front of them, the back of his trousers having caught fire from God knows what. John cursed silently as they watched another man empty a cooler of ice onto the flailing idiot, putting out the fire.

They laughed along with the rest of the people in the park (but not for quite as long as the drunks who unfortunately occupied 75% of the area). Amy and Rory rejoined the group. "Did you see that, I love America!" Rory (who was just a tad pissed) shouted.

Amy laughed and began to tell a story about the time her mate Mels had gotten drunk for the first time. John heard Clara sigh and looked down at her. She bit her lip at him again, this time not subconsciously but more in a "If only that hadn't just happened" sort of way. John half-smiled, half-smirked at her in response.

"Oi! You two! If you're gonna ignore me then go on and have a snog in the shrubbery why don't you?" Amy teased. "This telepathic conversation is not as interesting as my story."

"You shut it, Pond, what are you, my mother-in-law?"John shot back playfully. He actually kind of liked the shrubbery idea but he was a gentleman. And gentlemen did not have a snog in the shrubbery for a first kiss.

Three failed attempts at a kiss later, John was far past frustrated. Clara had begun showing signs of frustration two almost kisses ago, and Amy had already texted him "Oi, make a move why don't you?" before accidentally interrupting the most recent near kiss.

Three beers later, Rory had gotten dropped off at the hotel, completely pissed. John would have driven Clara home except he hadn't gotten a handle on the driving in America, which Amy had somehow learned in under a week. Rory thought she must have learned it so fast because of how terrible a driver she was on the left side of the road. That had earned him a punch in the gut.

So now Clara and John sat in the back of Amy's rental car as she drove them up to Clara's driveway.

"I thought you said you were just visiting?" The house seemed rather impressive for a rental.

"Oh, I am. We're staying with the Maitlands. Old family friends. Their mum used to nanny me and now I nanny their kids."

John nodded. "Let me walk you to the door." He stepped out of the car and came around to open her door. The car sat high up on the driveway, in plenty of view of the door, most likely nosy Amy's doing.

Clara grabbed his hand and gently pulled him away from the sidewalk leading to the door, and towards the front yard. John raised his eyebrows at her as he followed.

"C'mere." They walked until they stood in front of a big oak tree, mostly blocking the view of the car. Clara took hold of his hands and idly tugged him back. "Tonight was… actually really fun."

"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" John took a tentative step forwards, sliding his hand up her arm.

"Most of it." Clara swept her hair out of her face with her free hand.

"Could have been a bit more fun…" John said before blushing at the implication.

"There's still time for a bit more fun." She whispered. They had taken several steps closer now, their faces only centimeters away now. Moving his hand to her cheek, John slowly leaned his head closer and touched his lips to hers.

He had finally caught a break.

Clara looped her arms around his waist, her hands lingering low on his back. With one hand on her cheek and the other low on her hip, John deepened the kiss, tilting her head back.

He pulled back, expecting a clever remark from Clara, but was only met with a small smile. She grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him back for another kiss, this one much more heated. Her hand wove its way into his hair, pressing her lips to his with a new urgency. His previous frustration channeled into this kiss had him pushing her back until she was pressed up against the tree. They pulled apart briefly for air before doubling the intensity once more. Clara's hand found it's way up John's shirt, grazing his back. Their mouths battled for dominance eagerly, John finally winning out in the end. Full on snogging now, John let his hands wander down her back, stopping just over her belt loop. Clara slid her own hands down, pushing his farther below her belt. His hands slipped into her back pockets as he led a trail of kisses farther down her neck and chest, her hands eagerly gripping his hair, holding him in place.

The porch light, barely visible from John's position, began to flicker. On, off. On, off. On off on off onoffonoffonoff. On, off.

"Oh no…" Clara quickly pressed against his chest and pulled her shoulder strap that had begun to slide off back up. "That'll be my Dad inside. This is not how you want to meet him."

"What do you mean, where is he?" John ran his hands through his messy hair and straightened his shirt.

"Probably watching from the window. It's a thing he does. He flickers the lights when he wants me inside. Oh God, how long has he been doing that?" Clara quickly ran her fingers through her hair. "I really have to go. Call me tomorrow?"

"Yeah." John smiled at her and shoved his hands into his pockets, swaying side to side. Clara stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek softly. Before she could walk away, John grabbed her hand, pulling her back in for a real kiss. "Get out of here, soufflé girl."

She hastily walked to the front door and let herself in quietly. John let out a deep breath and fell back against the tree. Slowly, the back lights of Amy's car got brighter as she backed out of the driveway until her window was level with the tree.

"You plan on sleeping in her yard tonight or would you like to go home sometime tonight, eh?" Amy gave him a knowing look, trying not to smile.

"Shut it, Pond." He mumbled as he got in the passenger side. They sat in the driveway for a moment.

"Shut it."

"Against a tree."

"Shut. It."

"Shutting it." Amy said with a pleased smile as she backed out.

I had so much fun writing that, you have no idea. The kiss scene was loosely based off of a movie I saw a long time ago, so that idea wasn't entirely mine, but the majority of this AU was. I would love to hear your thoughts on it so keep reviewing, it really helps a lot!

Special thanks to NancyBoy.87, RedAugust102, OswinSmith, librarykate, SymphonicPoem, and the other anonymous reviewers, it means a lot.

My tumblr is still riversung and I still love you all.