Standard Starfleet Issue – Easy Tear Shirts.
Or 5 Times Kirk got in a mood when his shirt got ripped and 1 time he didn't care.
1.
The first time Kirk rips his shirt he blames McCoy; a routine medical exam that he is attempting quite desperately to avoid.
"No way Bones – not this time!"
He yells, making a semi – comic break to run out of med bay. McCoy grabs him by the neck of his shirt and holds him like a wriggling rodent.
"No you don't Jim!" he says, holding the squirming ship's Captain in place for just a moment before the shirt tears away at the neck –
"For fucks sake Bones!" Kirk splutters, pulling free, shirt hanging down his arm – "Whaddya do that for?"
"God damn it Jim! The thing just fell away in my hands!"
"Yeah well if your hands hadn't been headed for my ever – loving neck -!"
"Well if you weren't trying to rat out on your physical like a naughty schoolboy!"
"Gentlemen is there a problem?"
Spock walked calmly into the med bay, drawn by the sound of all the shouting.
"Well gee there wouldn't be Spock, if the good doctor here hadn't decided he wanted to rip my clothes off!" snaps Kirk. Spock frowns, not entirely understanding and with another almost- expression that Kirk finds hard to define –
"I do not understand Captain – do you and the doctor wish to be left alone?"
McCoy snorts.
"Hell no!" yells Kirk – "Still – doesn't look like I can make that medical Bones – gotta go get fucking dressed!"
"No way Jim – you were gonna have to take your shirt off anyway – now I'd say you're half way there!"
"GOD DAMNIT!" yells Kirk, in the way both of the others know really means "Okay then" in Jim – speak. Spock remains, still watching with faint interest as Kirk rips off the remains of his shirt and submits, extremely ungraciously, as the doctor man handles him, none too gently onto an operating table, Kirk muttering and grumbling all the way along the lines of –
"Fucking shoddy - ass Starfleet fucking shirts…."
_x_
I am happy to take suggestions for ways in which Kirk can get his shirt ripped!