Hello all! How is everyone doing? Ready for September? Yeah, me neither.

Anyway, here's another! I must warn you that this one is crack. Complete crack. Randomness galore. No plot to be accounted for really. It just wouldn't get out of my head until I wrote it.

I thought it was funny but I'd really like to know if you do too!

Zeus (with cameos from Hades, Hermes and Poseidon) – Parenting:

Setting/Spoilers - After Heroes of Olympus for sure

"Oh! Hello, how can I help you?" Sally asked as she entered her apartment. There was a man seated on her couch, apparently waiting for her, as he stood as she came in.

"Sally Jackson?" He said. The man's voice was deep and commanding. Sally felt a shiver run down her spine, which she then ignored as she looked over her visitor. The man had long dark grey hair with a grey and black beard and matching grey eyes. He was dressed in a tailored dark blue pinstriped suit. Sally felt as though she was in the presence of a very powerful individual or, more than likely, a god.

"That's right." Sally said, her voice steady despite the nervousness she felt. She recognized this man now, from books to statues, this man was infamous. This was Zeus, ruler of the gods, and he did not get along with Poseidon or her son. The same Zeus who was father to both Thalia and Jason; though they had tried to tell her that his Roman counterpart had sired Jason. To her, it was the same, neglectful father of both. "What can I do for you? Are you hungry? I was just about to start dinner."

If her tone held the disapproval she felt, he said nothing of it.

"This will be the meeting place for myself, Hermes and Hades." Zeus said stiffly.

"Three more for dinner then?" Sally asked rhetorically, walking into the kitchen. Surprisingly, Zeus followed.

"You do not approve?" Zeus asked her. His voice was tinted with warning and some amusement. The kind of amusement one would give others they thought to be lower than themselves and are not worthy to be in their presence. Sally knew he had been expecting her to acknowledge him, knew he was mad but he said nothing. She idly wondered if Poseidon had somehow threatened him to behave.

"It is an honour to meet you, as I am honoured to meet Hermes and to meet Hades once again." Sally said quietly. "However, as a mother, I do not approve of how you treat your children."

Zeus was silent, watching her through narrowed eyes. There was a warning there, for her to stop before she dug her own grave straight to Tartarus. She ignored it.

"Thalia and Jason's mother was quite obviously both abusive and neglectful. Then, they were forcibly separated, thinking the other dead. Thalia ran away from home and you turned her into a tree. Jason grew up with everyone relying on him and now he doesn't even know how to be a little brother anymore. They rarely get to see each other and so haven't rekindled their family. Jason hasn't even met you!" Sally said, her voice rising by the end. She took a deep breath and calmed herself. She had just lectured Zeus on parenthood. The ancient god who had been through world wars, sired children and was powerful enough to kill her with a gaze.

Zeus' eyes flashed dangerously and Sally's voice caught in her throat. She swallowed thickly, knowing she had purposefully angered the god but unwilling to take it back.

A chuckle came from behind her, "Oh, I knew you were an interesting mortal." The voice was familiar and she turned to see Hades standing in her kitchen. She now had two of the most powerful gods in her kitchen, one she had just lectured and another that had kidnapped and threatened to kill her. Paul was going to have a heart attack when he got home from work.

"I don't think I need to repeat that all for you, do I?" Sally asked, frowning. What was wrong with her? Why was she purposefully antagonizing two of the most powerful beings in the universe? She must have gone mad in her sleep. This was not how she had imagined her day to go when she had gotten up this morning. She didn't remember more after that.

Later on, when she awoke, she was told by a dazed Percy that Hermes had come into the apartment in time to stop Zeus and Hades from duking it out in her kitchen. Paul had to carry her back to their bedroom, while Hera – who apparently had been spying on the whole thing – verbally threatened Zeus until he left. Hades left, claiming something was amidst in the Underworld – Percy told her that Nico may have accidentally started some sort of riot-fight that had the dead in a frenzy.

Sally was thankful none of the pots had been broken; they had been very expensive and hard to get. Percy thought something was wrong with her. Sally just liked to think that she was following in her son's footsteps.

It was determined that she had been poisoned by an ex of Poseidon's, which lowered her inhibitions tremendously. Poseidon sheepishly appeared to explain this to her before he assured her that the ex had been dealt with.

Unsurprisingly, neither Zeus nor Hades ever stopped by again. She did have Hermes over for lunch a few times since though.