Promotional Material
From the director who brought you "Lightning Is A Jerk Who Never Shares Her Ice Cream" and "Fang Needs To Stop Ogling Lightning And Just Jump Her Already" comes a thrilling, new documentary…
On the plains of New Bodhum…
In a house with a big front yard and a garage full of semi-legal weaponry…
There lurk two of Gran Pulse's deadliest predators…
Originating from Oerba… the Fang… deadly, snarky, and really, really good with a spear…
And originating from Bodhum… the Lightning… deadly, grumpy, and far too good with a gun blade…
Both were apex predators in their old environments…
And both were once shrouded in mystery…
Until now.
Watch as Oerba Dia Vanille, renowned FLight biologist, catalogues the daily lives of the Fang and the Lightning. Cutting through superstition and legend, she will venture deep into the natural habitat of these two exquisitely dangerous creatures to cry and uncover the truth about how they live, love, and bicker.
From each perilous breakfast to each tension-laden dinner, Vanille will follow both of these amazing creatures as they go about their daily lives. Braving scowls, glares, and a great many pointy objects, she will track the Fang and the Lightning through their natural habitat.
Why does the Lightning get up so early in the morning? Why does the Fang always drink milk out of the bottle? Vanille will answer all of these questions and more as she embarks on her FLight safari. Are you ready to learn more than you ever wanted to know? Then make sure you tune in for…
The Secret Life of FLight
Episode 1: A Lesson in FLight Biology
Produced By: Oerba Dia Vanille & Serrah Farron
Directed By: Oerba Dia Vanille
Narrated By: Oerba Dia Vanille & Serah Farron
Funded By: The Association Of Former l'Cie Sick Of Watching Fang And Lightning Pine Over Each Other Like Whiny School Girls
The following disclaimer has been added based on legal advice provided to the producers of "The Secret Life of FLight" (Oerba Dia Vanille and Serah Farrron):
Sazh Katzroy was not involved in the creation of this documentary in any way, shape, or form. Any suggestion that he was involved will be considered slander and will be prosecuted with the full force of the law. Any bullets, swords, spears, or other forms of physical and/or emotional violence will be directed at persons other than Sazh Katzroy. However, both Hope Estheim and Snow Villiers were heavily involved in the production of this documentary – any violence should be directed at them before the producers of this documentary.
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Author's Notes
As always, I neither own Final Fantasy, nor am I making any money off of this.
I watched Grave Encounters 2 a few days ago. It was a reasonable enough movie, at least, as found footage horror films go. However, the first thirty or so minutes were quite boring. Thinking about that movie made me wonder... why hasn't someone written a story about the documentary about the story of Fang and Lightning (I've always wanted to use that line from Tropic Thunder)?
There are a number of things you can expect from this story but deep philosophical discussion is not one of them. Instead, you can look forward to Vanille filming and analysing a range of interesting FLight phenomena, such as the great toaster setting dispute, the perils of breakfast, and the semi-regular explosions of violence/pent up sexual frustration that occur whenever Lightning and Fang actually have to sit in the same room as each other for longer than ten minutes.
As for this chapter... well, every movie needs promotional material, doesn't it?
Also, I now have two stories up on Amazon, and you can find links to them in my profile. If you're interested in fantasy, you might want to look at "The Last Huntress." If you're interested in a paranormal Western, you might want to give "The Gunslinger and the Necromancer" a try. You won't be disappointed.
As always, I appreciate feedback. Reviews and comments are welcome.