Hello lovelies! It's Mikashimotaku here, but you can call me "Mikashi"! So, this is my first Kimi to Boku fanfiction, and I hope you like it! It's a little bit sad, sadder than what I usually write, but here goes nothing. I do not own Kimi to Boku! :)

Little Lamb

He was quite aware what his feelings were.

But then, he was also quite aware what her feelings were.

Tachibana Chizuru, the most outgoing of the tight-knit group of friends. Blonde hair that he waxed up in such a way, people were surprised it held. Bright blue eyes that only he had, inherited from his German roots. He was a carefree soul, never very strict about dress code, or any rules for that matter. He was quite easily the smallest of all the boys, much to his extreme displeasure. Although, he did know one person he reigned taller than.

Sato Masaki, or as he called her, Mary.

And what a person Mary was. She had that spark to her, unwillingness to give up; independent and fiery, against all odds. Though, it wasn't necessarily a good thing all the time. Whenever he tried to reach out to her, she would push him away. It was like she didn't want anything to do with him. The thought itself made him sad.

There were times when he wondered what went through her mind. He wondered if she ever thought of him at the crack of dawn, like he sometimes thought of her. He wondered if she ever stopped to admire his adorning features, like the mole just to the side of his eye. Not that he had ever told her, but he found her features to be alluring. She just felt different. Maybe it was those light brown eyes, like the colour of milk chocolate. They sparkled with delight when she was happy, glistened with tears of joy when she was beyond excited. There was nothing he could not love about them.

He could name anything about her that he found beautiful. Her fluffy brown hair, what she received her nickname from in the first place. Mary, for Mary's little lamb, because she reminded him so much of a cute little lamb.

He liked how tall she was, able to comfortably rest his arm around her delicate shoulders. Though, she constantly pushed him off her. He liked her petite little hands, flashing a peace sign with him as they snapped pictures he would treasure forever.

Though he didn't admit it to anyone, he was very well aware that he loved his precious little lamb. Somewhere along the way, crossing paths as friends, she had captured his heart. The feelings welling up inside of him made him feel light as air. It was like nothing could tear him down; knowing that at the end of the day, Mary was always there. Always in his thoughts, with that bright cheerful smile, and making everything around him feel not so bad.

But there was one thing that he refused to face. But every time he tried to think of it, it was like his mind wouldn't allow him to think about it. He was adamant about staying in his oblivious, lovestruck bubble; unwilling to let the slightest bit of reality slip through the surface.

When it did however penetrate into him, it was like a knife to his heart; a stone cold realization that sent his knees knocking. He had been walking around the campus, in search of his friends, when it finally hit him. He stumbled in the grass, onto to the ground and laying there for a minute. He spread out, the blades of grass tickling his skin. The sky was a dazzling shade of cyan. It was too bright for his mood. For a moment, thoughts of Mary made his heart feel heavy, rather than light. And he hated that feeling. It made him feel despairing. He couldn't even will himself to smile.

All the while, he chased Mary's shadow. He just wanted her so much. But she was like a ghost; and he was unable to get a firm hold on her. Why?

It wasn't because Mary was running away from him. If things had been different, maybe she would have been running straight into his eagerly awaiting arms. But that was not the case.

Chizuru's little lamb was never really his. Her heart belonged to another; no other than one of his dear best friends, Matsuoka Shun.

He guessed it made sense. Shun was a better person than him anyway. He was kind and gentle, on top of being sweet and polite. He was a dream any sensible girl would have. Chizuru saw the way Mary looked at Shun. It was the same face of endearment and adoration he had, whenever he looked at her.

His little lamb, stumbling blindly as she followed Shun along his way, oblivious to her love. Chizuru bitterly watched, resent growing in his soul. Though, he would never really hate Shun. He just wanted Mary. Was that too much to ask? He just wanted to coddle her, to shower her with love and affection that Shun could not give her. Shun could never give her what he could; because he did not love Mary. He saw her as a lovely friend to have, but nothing more.

Chizuru and Mary, both stuck somewhere in the friend zone. It was like wandering around the desert, the hot sands burning their skin as they continued to reach for their oasis that would never end up being real. And both felt hopeless, if only for a moment.

But then they thought of their oasis. Mary, the smoky red hair of her upperclassman that she adored, brushing herself off, and continuing her pursuit; striving for his affections. Chizuru, watching his sweet lamb disappear from sight.

Why was it that Mary could seem to pick herself up and keep going? How could she keep trying? Why was he failing so hard? He couldn't continue to chase her; the pain was like setting his heart on fire. A pain he could not tolerate. So instead, he watched her run, farther and farther away from him, until she was basically gone.

He could hear her call Shun's name. The bright smile she put on for him, and he would give her a friendly embrace of welcome. He could see her arms wrapping around Shun, holding tight like he would disappear if she didn't.

Love was a painful thing, wasn't it? Chizuru could only wonder; why did he have to suffer so much for emotions that were so frivolous?

But deep inside, he knew they weren't frivolous as he tried to convince himself. They were strong and undying, that would forever be gnawing at his soul, asking him why he hadn't pursued his emotions and submerged himself in them.

No, he would be the shepherd, forever mourning his lost sheep. Though there were hundreds of others surrounding him, he would never get over the one he had lost. She had run away with a piece of his heart, his soul, and he would never get it back. If anything, at least she would have something to remember him by.

And that's when Chizuru realized, he was still lying in the grass; basking in the warm sun. Though he was finally aware, he was crying. Tears flowed from his eyes, silently showcasing the mourning in his heart. "Are you crying?"

Who were to find him so vulnerable than the lost sheep herself? She stood on the sidewalk, books in her hands. Seeing a friend of hers cry, she rushed over, leaning in fairly close. He could smell the strawberry shampoo she used and see the faint flush that always adorned her cheeks.

He told himself that he was strong, that there was nothing he could do anymore. And he felt that much was certain. He sat up, wiping the tears from his crystal blue eyes, "Of course not Mary. Who do you take me for? I just looked into the sun, that's all."

She rolled her eyes, "And here I was, worried about you. Sometimes you're just so annoying."

He stood up, willing the leftover tears not to fall, "Me? You're pretty annoying yourself."

"Maybe I should have just ignored you," She bit back.

He gave her a tender smile, and his hand reached forward to put an arm around her shoulder. Though, he stopped himself before he could. "That's not very nice, Mary." Holding his arms to his sides, he gestured her along, "Come on. If we wait around here, we won't find Shun-chan, will we?"

She blushed, "W-whatever."

And they walked along the sidewalk together. He treasured the very little time left he had with her. Then they saw their friends and Mary tore away from him, rushing to the one who had her heart. He could only watch, willing himself to smile and feel happy for her.

Go on, little lamb. Grow and become strong.

Don't worry.

One day, I'll be okay without you.

So, how was it? Please leave me a little review and tell me! Thank you for reading!

xoxo

~Mikashi-chan :)