Title: Modeling

Summary: This is a story about Blaise and Draco in a pub. But mostly about Draco and a sleep-deprived muggle girl who won't stop staring at him. And may or may not be able to kill things with her mind. When she's had enough sleep.

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters and settings belong to – not me. The girls do. They just sort of happened.

Author's Notes: There's footnotes at the end! I've seen other people do this and thought I'd give it a try. I just felt like sharing some of the thought process that goes into my stories – especially with one that seems on the surface as completely random as this one does.

Rated: PG-13 for implied themes.

"What are we doing here?" Draco asked, sneering dismissively around the small, poorly lit, and above all muggle pub.

"Avoiding your mum. Also, meeting some girls," Blaise answered, ignoring Draco's attitude with the ease of many years' practice.

Draco rolled his eyes. "If I wanted random brainless girls I don't know flinging themselves at me, I wouldn't be avoiding my mother."

"Don't worry. They're uni girls." Seeing Draco's incomprehension, Blaise attempted to clarify. "University. Sort of like apprenticeship-level training for muggles. Means they're not brainless."

"No, just that they're muggle."

"Which means your mum won't approve. Which should make you feel better, anyway. Plus, I doubt there'll be any flinging going on."

Draco hummed thoughtfully. "Might not be a total loss then."

Blaise's witty retort was interrupted by a small, dark-haired girl who flung herself into his lap and threw her arms around him enthusiastically. "Blaaaaaaaaise!"

Draco lifted an eyebrow inquiringly. "No flinging, eh?"

Her attention caught by his voice, the girl turned toward Draco.

"Ooh," she sighed happily. "You're a bit gorgeous."

She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair, mussing it from its usual slicked back style. Then she started gently tracing the planes of his face – brow, nose, cheekbones, lips. Draco froze, not knowing how to react to such an invasion.

"Clara!" A new voice barked the name sharply, and the girl, Clara, drew back like she'd been slapped. "Personal space!" She blushed and swiftly tucked her hands under her arms as if she were hiding them.

Another girl approached, taller, paler, and scowling at Clara. "You don't even know who this person is!"

"Yes I do!" Clara said. "He's Blaise's friend!"

The new girl folded her arms and glared pointedly.

"He is," Clara insisted. "I know because they're sitting together and pretty close too. And talking – or they were – but not that awkward weather stuff you say if you've just met someone. And... And they've got matching drinks! Which means Blaise's friend probably hasn't been here before and Blaise ordered for both of them. Which you only really do for a friend. Or a date. Which he isn't. Because Blaise likes girls and he wouldn't lead somebody on like that because Blaise is nice and I bet his friend is nice too." Clara wrapped her arms around Blaise again and stuck her tongue out at the new girl with an air of 'so there.'

The new girl dropped her head into her hands and made a sound not unlike the whine of a wounded animal.

Blaise chuckled. "I think Analise would prefer if you sat in your own seat, Clara." She pouted. "Go on, love. Go sit next to my 'a bit gorgeous' friend."

Draco shot Blaise a look to let him know just how betrayed he felt, being offered up as a sacrifice to the crazy muggle girl. But Clara slid off Blaise's lap and sat on Draco's other side. She then proceeded to lay her head on the table and ignore them all, tracing spiralling patterns on the wood.

Blaise took Analise's hand and pulled her down into the seat next to his. "Roommate trouble?" he asked lightly.

"She hasn't slept. In three days." Blaise winced and glanced quickly at Clara. Draco followed his gaze and was slightly disturbed to find that she was staring at him.

"Not at all?"

Analise shook her head and whimpered. "She's driving me mad. I'm going to kill myself. Or her."

Clara giggled, then with a serious face said, "I can kill you with my brain."(1)

"Not if you don't sleep!"

"Sleeping's boring. And dark. I don't like it."

Analise groaned and banged her head on the table.

Clara went back to staring at Draco. Draco who was confused and disturbed and felt the need to scoot his chair closer to Blaise. (And coincidentally farther away from Clara.) Not that he did, because he was a Malfoy and Malfoys didn't run from muggles. Even if they were weird, crazy muggle girls who would not stop staring at him and who may or may not be able to kill people with their mind. When they've had enough sleep.

Draco stared intently at Blaise's head, hoping that he'd notice and perhaps also notice that Draco would rather not be here and suggest that they leave. Not that he thought there was much chance of that. Blaise seemed more amused by the girls' odd behavior than anything. He did notice the staring though, and chose to completely misinterpret it.

"Oh, right. Where are my manners? Clara, Analise, meet my friend and schoolmate Draco Malfoy. Draco – Clara Hazel and Analise Conwharl."(2)

"Pleased to meet you," Analise said in a tone that said she wasn't really, but that her manners had been drilled into her to the point of being automatic.

"Likewise," Draco answered, tone for tone.

"H'lo," Clara said, lifting her fingers in what might have been a wave or might have been just a nervous twitch. Her eyes didn't shift a bit.

"So what exactly do you want me to do about it?" Draco was becoming irritated at Blaise ignoring his plight in favor of this muggle girl Analise.

"I don't know. Just – wear her out or something. Or at least keep her occupied while I get drunk enough that I can sleep through whatever it is she's going to do tonight instead of sleeping."

Blaise shot Analise a disapproving look. Draco thought that odd, particularly since Blaise was the one who had thought it was a splendid idea to get so smashed at the party after the Battle of Hogwarts that he hadn't woken up until half-way through the train ride home the next day. Draco and a couple of Ravenclaws had been forced to drag an unconscious Blaise onto the Hogwarts Express. And Blaise was a good deal heavier than he looked.

"You're not driving, are you?"

"No," Analise said, tossing him a ring of keys. "You are. She's in no condition, and I don't intend to be by the time we leave. Thanks so much for helping out." She fluttered he eyelashes at him and grinned widely. Then she pushed away from the table and went to the bar for a drink.

Draco looked at Blaise skeptically as he sorted through the keys. "You know how to run one of those muggle death traps?"

Blaise shrugged. "Her brother taught me. Anyway, since we're in a muggle pub, you should be careful of using culturally specific slang. Someone might overhear that you don't want to."

Draco eyed Clara, but she was still staring at him without seeming to have noticed his slip-up.

Clara suddenly lunged toward Draco. He squawked in surprise and dismay, but wasn't fast enough to stop her from mussing his hair so badly that any remaining trace of gel gave up the fight and allowed his hair to hang naturally. She deftly combed her fingers through his hair one last time, settling it into a new and much more casual style, and sat back with a satisfied smile.

"See, that's much better. Now it looks like hair instead of a plastic brain shield." Draco gaped, speechless at the crazy girl who had assaulted his hair. He looked to Blaise for help only to find his friend snickering behind his hand.

"So you're a wizard too?" Draco whipped back toward Clara in shock. "Oh, don't look so surprised. It's not like it's that hard to figure out. You hang with Blaise and call the mundies muggles."(3)

"You know?" He turned toward Blaise. "Why does she know?"

Blaise managed to get his snickering under control enough to answer. "Clara's been Analise's roommate for nearly four years. Analise can't keep a secret."

"Why does Analise know?"

Blaise shrugged nonchalantly. "She's family. Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"She used to have a much older brother. Analise was my step-aunt for a while. We still keep in touch."

"But... she's..." Draco stopped, not wanting to use the word muggle again. Not that he was completely sure of that any more.

"Mundie?" Clara suggested helpfully. "Her brother was a wizard. Went to that wizard training school and everything. Happens that way sometimes. So I hear. Genetics and recessive genes and what-not. All very pseudoscientific, I'm sure."

"But..."

"Not all the blokes my mum marries are pureblood. Just well off, with a mysterious death in their future."(4)

That surprised Draco a little, but it wasn't the only objection he had. "Well, why can she talk about it and I can't?"

"Statute of secrecy laws," Blaise answered. "She knows, but she's got no magic so they don't bind her like they do people actually part of the wizarding world. And she's not made a nuisance of herself enough that anybody's had to alter any memories or anything."

"Anyway," Clara added, "it's not like anyone's going to take it seriously if I go around talking about wizards and magic. I mean, check this out."

Clara stood abruptly and shouted, "I'm a level twelve elven bard! And my friend is a wizard!"(5)

Draco cringed, waiting for an angry mob to descend. Or the ministry. Or a squad of aurors ready with memory charms and a one-way trip to Azkaban.

But all that happened was that a group of rather dingy boys cheered and sent a few catcalls Clara's way. She grinned and waved in their direction and sat back down. Draco could see Analise bang her head on the bar a few times before retrieving her drink and heading back toward the table.

"See?" Clara said smugly. "Nothing. So, do you have one of those magic wands then?"

"Draco," Blaise said warningly. But there was no stopping it now. Draco had never been able to pass up a chance for a cheesy innuendo.

"You want to see my magic wand?" he asked with a smirk.(6)

Clara just smirked back, mischief in her expression. "If you're a very good boy, I'll let you model your wand for me in my private studio."

Draco spluttered. Analise, who had just sat down, started choking on her drink. Blaise tried to help out by pounding her on the back, but his laughter made it rather ineffectual.

"Clara!" Analise scolded. "You can't say stuff like that!"

"Why not?" Clara asked innocently. "Blaise doesn't seem to mind modeling his wand for me."

"Blaise! What have you been doing with my roommate?!"

"Modeling," Blaise sniffed primly. "She quite likes my wand."

"It's the biggest wand I'd ever seen," Clara added while Draco and Analise turned redder and more embarrassed.

"It's always an interesting experience. I wouldn't mind modeling it again some time."

"I don't know, Blaise," Clara said. "You usually end up falling asleep. I think I'd like to branch – see what other wands are like."

"You won't find another as magical as mine, love." Blaise waggled his eyebrows at her.

Clara's face scrunched up and she started giggling. "Sorry, I can't keep going any longer."

"Yeah, I'd about finished too," Blaise said with a wink that sent Clara into another fit of giggles.

Analise seemed to be trying to sink down into the table. Draco, being slightly more sensible, decided that he had no idea what was actually being discussed.

"I'm studying painting at uni," Clara explained once she'd calmed down again.

"So when you said modeling..."

"I meant actually modeling. I'm always looking for new people to paint, and you've got good facial structure. Blaise's idea of holding still means taking a nap."(7)

"Er, thanks?" Draco still didn't think it excused the staring. But it at least explained it a little.

"In fact, I'd love to do some sketches." Clara looked around as if she'd misplaced something. "Where did I put..."

"In the car," Analise told her sulkily. "Probably still on the seat where you left it when you rushed off to jump my nephew." Blaise snickered, making her realize what she'd just said. "On! On! Jump on my nephew!" She groaned and buried her head in her arms.(8)

(1) This is a quote from Firefly. Or possibly Serenity. Which if you didn't know you should watch both a.s.a.p.! River Tam!

(2) Analise's names just happened. Clara's is a reference to the ballet The Nutcracker. Because Clara. And hazelnuts. And I love The Nutcracker.

(3) Mundie is short for mundane. I chose it over norm, flatscan, ect. mostly because it alliterated with muggle.

(4) Its cannon that Blaise's mum is seven times a widow and insanely wealthy because of it. For this story at least, I've decided that instead of being a black widow, she's got a bit of seer talent that lets her know which rich guys are going to kick the bucket soon. So they die mysterious deaths, but it's not (as is sort of implied in the books) her fault. Which is why Analise is still friendly with Blaise even though her (much) older brother died mysteriously shortly after marrying his mum.

(5) Good old Dungeons and Dragons reference. Start talking like that and no one takes you seriously...

(6) The following is the section that inspired this fic. I've recently become semi-obsessed with innuendo that is meant literally instead of euphemistically. This is partly because of another fic I'm working on (a Sherlock one) that's going way too slowly.

(7) A non-traditional but still valid method of modeling. Unless you're an active sleeper. Then, less so.

(8) Analise was mad and refused to get the sketchbook for Clara. They sent Draco, who didn't really want to go, and ended up setting off the car alarm while trying to unlock it.