I don't own the TMNT

Turtle Age: 5

Hope y'all enjoy the story! Thinking about being in Splinter's position raising these four made it interesting. Hope it gives you an appreciation of parenting!

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Raphael glared at Michelangelo as he scooped up another spoonful of Frosted Flakes. "Aw, man! This is so AWESOME! It's a shame you can't have any! But don't worry, yours looks good too!" he said, indicating the plain oatmeal that Raphael was eating. Michelangelo leaned over until he was nearly under Raphael's chin, lips smacking as he talked with a mouth full of milky cereal, rubbing his stomach with his free hand while moaning with pleasure. Raphael's teeth clenched and he balled his fists.

I had hardly had a chance to sip my tea but the current situation needed some diffusing. "Michelangelo! Stop teasing your brother this instant! Sit up straight and don't talk with your mouth full!"

He popped up ramrod straight, although he still sneaked an overly-enthusiastic glance at his brother. "Sorry Sensei!" he said, spraying chewed bits of food across the table.

"EEEEEEEEW!" Donatello made a face, yanking his own bowl of flakes away from the offending debris. "Say it don't spray it dummy!"

"Hey, I'm not a dummy, you…you…you…dummy!"

Donatello rolled his eyes and smirked. "WOW! How long did it take you to come up with THAT one!"

Michelangelo responded by blowing him a raspberry, which of course resulted in more half chewed flakes to be sprayed across the table. Everyone erupted in a chorus of fresh 'eeews.' My ears twitched in irritation and I slapped the table with my palm. Everyone jumped and stared at me with wide eyes as if I had just appeared out of nowhere. I narrowed my eyes. "Michelangelo! Clean this mess up at once! The rest of you, no more talking at the table!" Donatello looked down with a chagrined expression on his face. "I would like to have some peace with my meal!"

With an exaggerated groan Michelangelo heaved himself off the table in a dramatic fashion, acting as if he weighed more than he did. A muscle jumped in my jaw at his disrespect. Lashing out with my tail I caught his thigh with the tip, causing him to yelp and jump up with more speed, practically sprinting to the kitchen to obtain a clean rag.

Leonardo watched with a slight look of superiority on his face, seeming to take joy in the fact that he was the only one so far to not have gotten into trouble. A long minute crawled by until he snuck a sidelong glance at Raphael. "Why can't you have any cereal Raph?" he asked under his breath. Raphael's face darkened and his muscles bunched as if he was going to get up.

"Leonardo! What did I say about talking at the table!"

He snapped to attention and did his best to look solemn. "Yes Sensei, sorry."

I waited another moment to ensure that the mood had diffused before I finally picked up my cup. I grimaced. Cold tea. Again. With a sigh I shook my head. Just once I would like to drink my first cup while it is hot. Not wanting to waste I gulped it down quickly before getting up to get another cup, passing Michelangelo on the way.

Raphael glared at his food, still not saying a word. I said nothing, not wishing to cause him further attention from his brothers but made a note to tell him how well he was controlling his anger today. Indeed he was improving.

No sooner had I exited the room then I heard another teasing jab being made at Raphael. Suddenly there was a loud crash and all four of them were yelling, especially Michelangelo with a high pitched squeal. Groaning to myself I whipped around and found everybody but Raphael covered in oatmeal. Raphael had Michelangelo's head trapped between is intertwined legs, his face turning slightly purple as Raphael's legs tightened slightly. Raphael's hands were busy lobbing little fistfuls of oatmeal at his other brothers, stopping every now and then to slap a handful on Michelangelo's head. The entire time they were making such a raucous noise that it caused my head to ache.

And here I was thinking about his self-control. Furious, I swung my walking stick, striking Raphael on the head. Eyes wide his hands immediately went to his head where I had struck him, unintentionally smearing more oatmeal. I slammed my stick down on the floor. "CLEAN IT UP NOW!"

All four of jumped up, voices rising in protest and attempts at explanation.

"We were just asking a question!"

"It's not our fault!"

"He started it!"

"Why can't they just shut up?!"

"This isn't fair!"

"I wasn't being bad!"

"WHAT!"

"Yes you were!"

"NO!"

"Dummy!"

"I SAID don't call me a dummy!"

"But you are!"

"Shut up!"

"No, YOU shut up!"

"Master Splinter, he told me to shut up!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

My head was beginning to ache more than before. Teeth clenched I slammed my staff down again, interrupting them. "Do as I said NOW!"

Hopping up as if I had shocked them, immediately they all set to work, Raphael 'accidently' jabbing a brother here and there while the others returned the favor. One accidently sent another crashing to the ground with an overly enthusiastic jab. Squealing, the fallen brother kicked the other's legs out from under him. I grabbed them both by the tops of their shells and hurled them bodily to their feet, saying nothing but giving them such a glare that immediately they quieted. When I turned around I heard another 'accidently' bump into another with a slight snicker. My tail thrashed in anger and I considered reprimanding them for it but abruptly decided against it. At least they had started cleaning. As long as they were doing as I said and caused no more chaos at this moment…

I stepped back and marched myself into my room. With slightly shaking hands I steepled my fingers and took a deep breath, holding it in my lungs for a moment before releasing it. I repeated this several more times until I felt my heartbeat begin to slow to a more normal level.

Another crash resounded from beyond my wall. A sharp flash of irritation swept through me as I whirled to face it but abruptly decided against it. I must calm myself first. Nothing good comes from acting in anger. It sounded good in my head although I must admit that it is difficult to carry out on days like today.

Silence emanated from the main area as my sons waited in seeming terror for me to storm in. When I did not approach hurried whispers urged each other to clean up the mess before I came out and saw it. They were thinking that perhaps I would not notice. I shook my head. Did they really think that I could not hear them? Ah, for now I was content to let them continue in their ignorance.

After the morning meal I decided that some training would be good for them. Give them something to focus on and perhaps expend some excess energies. Also it normally set to put me more at ease. This was something that I knew much about, something that I found to be relaxing in and of itself.

The forms that they knew, that I had taught them, were supremely simple at best but it matched their age and abilities well. The goal at this stage was not to learn the complexities per se, it was more to cement in the basics until it became instinctive and they would get full realization of the control that their bodies could influence over themselves and others.

Individual sessions went along as they normally did. Michelangelo's athleticism made him remarkably agile, although he needed work on his focus. Somehow I felt that this would continue to be an issue for him. Donatello continued to have problems with over-thinking his routine and doubting his own ability. I would have to meditate further on how to let him learn to improve his skills. Leonardo's focus and style had always been superb and he reveled in the training as a chance to show off his skills. Raphael's blatant aggression and arrogance bothered me sometimes, although he knew how to channel it well; that is until he let his anger grow.

The issue started when I set them up into sparring teams. Since Raphael and Leonardo were more closely matched I paired them together. The fight was over relatively quickly, ending with Leonardo hitting the carpet. Raphael smirked as he stood over him, causing Leonardo to glower at him. "You don't have to act like that!"

He crossed his arms. "You're just being a cry baby 'cause you lost!"

Leonardo's scowl deepened. "I'm not a cry baby! You're not being fair! TRUE ninjas don't act like that!"

"So true ninjas get their butt beat instead?"

Leonardo surged to his feet, tiny tears beginning to form in his eyes. "THAT'S NOT WHAT BEING A NINJA IS ABOUT!"

Raphael stared at him for a moment and then sniffed. "Crybaby."

"Raphael!" I interjected. He looked at me, his arms still crossed. I took a breath and tried to speak as gently as I could. I did not want to sound like I was berating him. "Leonardo is right, true ninjas use honor in all things, including victory."

"See!" Leonardo hopped, pointing a finger in Raphael's face.

Abruptly Raphael punched Leonardo in the face, pouncing on his brother as he fell, delivering another blow. Striding forward I picked them both up clear off the ground, effectively separating them. "Raphael! You do not attack your brother like that!" I swung my gaze over to his brother. "Leonardo! That was an dishonorable thing to do!"

Leonardo lowered his eyes. "Yes Sensei." He bit his lips for a second before looking at his brother. "Sorry Raph." He half grumpled.

His brother sneered. "Shut up! You don't mean it!"

That was enough. The small remainder of the training session was tense. Raphael refused to apologize to his brother and spent the rest of the time practicing his flips in the corner as punishment. My other sons did not put themselves fully into their training, the spat had ruined their resolve. I ended up terminating the session early.

I did not allow anything to happen at lunch. Placing them at different corners of the room where they could not possibly touch each other and forbidden to speak we at least had a bit of peace, albeit a strained one.

I could not keep them separated, however. Not only was it nearly impossible in our modest sized home but I wanted them to learn the skills to co-habitate and resolve difficulties peacefully, something they could not do if kept apart. I tried not to think of the fact that they would not ever get along all the time and any real improvement would not be realized soon. After all, they were only children.

They were old enough that I had started teaching them lessons in basic education. It was difficult at first until I learned where to look for materials that helped me exceedingly.

I reached into my cabinet to take out the workbooks. They were slightly tattered. I had rescued them from the garbage in a nearby school and was fortunate to acquire them. There were one of each major subject: math, reading and science. Each grade level was represented with a different book at a different difficulty. They were thrown out simply because they were slightly outdated. I shook my head. It amazed me sometimes how wasteful some people could be.

Placing the kindergarten level workbooks in front of each of my sons I had them open up to the page that they left off on. Donatello furrowed his brow. "Mine's different from last time Sensei."

I smiled with pride. "Yes, Donatello. I decided that what you were doing was too easy for you so I want to see how you do with this one instead."

His eyes widened and a smile spread across his lips. "But this is for FIRST grade!"

I smiled. "Yes, I am aware."

Bouncing with excitement he ran over to me and gave me a hug. "Oh THANK you Sensei! Thank you!" Nearly skipping he went to his book and opened it up.

Raphael scowled at him. "Why are you so excited about SCHOOL?"

Michelangelo stared at his own book, rubbing his eyes. "Yeah, it's so BORING!"

Donatello smiled. "You guys are just jealous!"

"No I'm not!"

Sharpening his pencil and testing the tip he looked at him through the corner of his eyes. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say Raph. I'm just going to read the instructions by myself now." He put a finger on his chin and feigned contemplation. "Can YOU read yet?"

"I'm not a dummy!"

He smiled. "YOU said it not me!"

I rapped my staff on the floor. "Enough! Both of you!"

Raphael pointed a finger at his brother. "But I can see it! He thinks he's smarter than me, just like Leo thinks he's better than me!"

"I'm cuter than you!" Michelangelo quipped in before I could stop him.

I caught Raphael mid-leap as he attempted to pounce on one of his brothers. Picking him and his workbook up I carried the kicking child to the other side of the room and placed him unceremoniously in the corner. Squatting down to his level I looked at him eye to eye. "Raphael. You must stop this. Behave yourself."

Tears formed in his eyes as he put his balled fists against his eyes. "But it's not FAIR!"

I wanted to hug him, embrace him into me but I resisted. He was being punished for his misbehavior. I sighed instead, willing self-control. I reached out and stroked his head. "I know that it is not fair, my son. You, it seems will be tested more than most, but you must learn self-control. You must learn to get along."

He crossed his arms and turned away from me, presenting his back, jerking my hand off, effectively cutting me out. I hung there for a moment, sudden hurt piercing my heart. I tried to tell myself that he was a child, he did not mean it. He was simply upset. Yet although my mind knew these facts my heart would not let go. But he must learn somehow. He presented obstacles for me that did not exist in his brothers, but sometimes I wondered if I was handling this correctly. But I could only do what I knew to do. I would meditate on it later, but I was not sure what else I could come up with.

Although initially tense the remainder of the lessons for the other boys soon lightened and went smoothly. I had to give Michelangelo extra help to understand his studies, Leonardo stopping to try to help by offering his own point of view which I think helped. Not wanting to be too outdone, Leonardo practiced his reading. He was now able to discerne simple sentences. Donatello was excited about the new workbook and begged to continue working on it after lessons were complete. I could see no reason to deny him so he spent the remainder of the evening working on the different subjects, running over to me to proudly show me each newly completed page. Each time I praised him for his work he seemed to get more exited and I was glad that I had gotten all of the elementary school grade level books. At this rate he would be complete with the 1st grade within a week or two. I could not help my pride. Leonardo chose to practice the simple katas that I had taught him. After an hour or so he asked me to tell me more on ninjitsu then decided to meditate with me, although I think that it was more mimicry than meditation. It was cute nonetheless. Michelangelo, ever the free spirit, was content with looking at the comic books that I had procured for him. Although he could not read yet he loved looking at the pictures of the superheroes and spent a large amount of time zooming around the Lair with a blanket cape, eventually prodding Leonardo and later Donatello into his rambunctious play. I loved watching their innocence.

Immediately after Raphael had finished his lesson he spent the remainder of the evening in self-imposed isolation either sitting on his own or doing little punches to the punching bag that I had recently hung. I worried about him, I would have preferred if he could play with his brothers, but I did not interfere. Perhaps time to himself was what he needed. Time to think. Perhaps this was a stage that he was going through, one that he would grow out of. He seemed to take things so seriously for one so young.

I welcomed bed time. I did not even plan to stay up after putting the children down, so tired was I. When the lights were out and the children tucked into their beds I slowly walked to my own bedroom. It seemed that no sooner had I laid down than I was asleep.

When I awoke it was late, or early, depending on how you saw it. For a moment I laid there staring into the darkness, wondering what it was that woke me up. Then I heard it, a slight snuffling sound. The gentle whisp of cloth dragging across the floor. Pushing aside my blanket I got out of bed. Tying my robe I silently padded across the Lair.

There was little Raphael, crying, dragging his sheet across the floor to the crude washing basin that we used for clothing. I watched him for a moment then approached the sobbing child. Gently I placed my hand on his head. Startled he jumped up and stared at me while the large tears continued to pour from his eyes. Abruptly another sob wrecked his little body and he shoved both fists in his eyes, his chest heaving mightily. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Startled by his sudden apology, I sat down and hugged him to my chest. At first he resisted, then he wrapped his little arms around my neck and buried his face in my shoulder, soaking my fur with his hot tears. Cradling him I crushed his body tighter to mine, stroking his head softly with my hand. Sitting on my haunches I gently rocked him back and forth, humming comfortingly deep in my throat. We said nothing at first, we simply took comfort from each other. I cherished it, almost coming to tears myself at his obvious pain.

"My son, I love you so much. I love you." I continued to rock him, deliberately not telling him not to cry. He needed this release, I could feel it. He needed to get this out.

Eventually his sobbing calmed, and he pulled away from me gently, his tears leaving us both damp. Hiccupping slightly, he rubbed his eyes and looked away, as if ashamed to meet me after this display. Gently I cradled his face and guided his eyes to mine. "My son, what is wrong?"

His green eyes flitted over to the stained sheet that was still clutched in his hand. I sniffed and detected the unmistakable smell of urine. He stamped his foot. "I did it again!" He stomped again several times and his chest once again heaved in sobs. Again I held him until he started to quiet once more.

"Do not worry. These things happen."

"Not to my brothers! Not to them! Why me!"

I shook my head. "I do not know. But do not worry. We will clean it up. We do not have to tell anyone."

"You have to punish me."

This again. Just like yesterday. I shook my head. "No."

He glared at me. "Then I'll do it myself. I won't eat any sweet cereal again! I won't play! I won't do anything! I don't deserve it!"

"No!" He started. I shook my head again. "You have done nothing wrong!"

He sniffed and looked away. "Yes I have. I've been bad all day. I can't act like Leo, or be smart like Don, or be happy all the time like Mikey. I'm not like them. I'm WRONG! I'm BAD!"

"NO!" I grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him slightly before once again hugging him to my chest. "You are my son! I love you for who you are, for what you are! We all have our problems, Raphael, even your brothers. You seem to be more aware of your own, perhaps because yours is more easily seen. But that does not make you any better or worse than your brothers. You are just different. You are my son, my beloved son. You are strong, you are proud, you have determination, stamina and the vitality of life."

Silent tears still streaming down his cheeks, he sniffed. "But you love them more!"

That seemed like a slap in the face. Was that what he thought? How could I have caused him to think this! "No!" I rubbed my cheek against him, blinking back my own sudden tears. "I love you more than you will ever realize. I love you as only a father loves a son!"

He was silent for a moment, as if taking in the information for consideration, his fingers absently playing with my fur. "Even when I'm bad?" his voice was tremulous, barely above a whisper, as if afraid that I would snap at him.

I smiled. "Yes. Even when you are bad. It does not matter what you do, good or bad, I will always, ALWAYS, love you and be proud of you."

He stilled. "Really?"

"Yes. Really."

"Really really?"

I hugged him tighter. "Really really."

After a moments hesitation his little arms tightened around me, his face nuzzled into my chest. "I love you Daddy."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled wider. "I love you too, my son."

I helped him clean up the sheet, neither of us talking yet the mood light despite our sudden emotional exhaustion. Looking up to his room, Raphael turned, carrying a fresh sheet. I stopped him. "No. Your bed is wet. You may sleep with me tonight."

He looked at me, eyes wide. This was something that I rarely allowed. "Really?! But I might wet your bed!"

I smiled and shook my head. "No, somehow I do not think you will have any more problems with that." With a little giggle, he latched himself onto my leg, both arms and legs wrapped around it. Pretending that he was heavier than he was I half walked, half staggered to my room with him giggling into my fur. No more problems indeed.

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How was that for my first one? I haven't really done a touchy-feely story before so I hope it comes to par. As a parent myself, I think that a lot of us forget that parents aren't perfect! But we do try! Be sure to let me know, via review or pm if you have any ideas or experiences you would like me to try out.

Well, please leave a review and tell me what you think, I love to read them and they are great inspiration.