Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time. Sadly.

Summary: After Henry's death in Neverland the Charmings follow his last wish and return to the Enchanted Forest with the inhabitants of Storybrooke. Only Regina stays on Earth with a wish to leave everything and everyone she has ever known behind. But on the road awaits an unexpected company who can help her broken and painful heart heal...

A/N: I am not a native speaker and I don't have a beta, so please tell me about every mistake I make. I also apologise for overusing commas. I would like to dedicate this little piece of writing to Cheyennesis. Thank you, my dear, for everything. :*

Enjoy and let me know what you think!

It was bloody hot in the car the whole day. The sun was hanging on the sky so high it seemed like it never wanted to leave the welkin. The flies were buzzing around which would have definitely driven her crazy some time ago. Some time ago when life had seemed so complicated and screwed up, but in fact it had been easy and pleasant, she knew that now. Nothing could be so easy and pleasant anymore.

She was on the run. On the run from her life, from her past, from everything. But it wasn't exactly the run in its dictionary definition. It was more like an escape. From what? She tried not to think about it. She tried not to think about anything as she drove ahead, not knowing where she was heading and not caring about her destination at all. Not caring about anything at all. Everything lost its significance. In her blank mind and now dried eyes there was nothing more but the thought of escape, even though she knew all to well she couldn't run away from what had happened. Yes, she could try, but to no avail. There was no escape from such a loss.

It definitely wasn't the first time she had lost someone. In fact, she had lost everyone the average human could lose. But this time... This time was different in every possible aspect. She had thought before that Daniel's death had shattered her hopes and completely changed her life, destroying all the happiness and dreams they had shared. She had thought nothing could be worse. Now she just prayed she had never got the chance to find out that there was something worse than the death of her true love, those shattered hopes and destroyed dreams.

She felt hot tears gathering in her eyes again. Quick movement of the hand and they were gone, vanishing in an instant. She wished she could erase last events as easily as the tears. She wished nothing more than turning back the clock. She would change what had happened. If she wouldn't be able to get to him on time, she would just die with him. And everything would be easier. In fact, she had a better idea. She would die instead of him. She should have been in his shoes. She should have.

During the last month life had been hell. Some parody of existence where she had been forced to play one of the main roles against her will. It wasn't a life, it was a caricature of it. One of her endless nightmares, but this time she couldn't wake up from it. And there was no chance to ever wake up.

So she just drove, trying hard not to think. Thinking hurt. Feeling hurt. Everything hurt.

After few hours of driving she was more blank than ever and additionally exhausted because of all the attempts to keep her mind in the state of suspension. But she could fight it no more. Her brain unwillingly started to work, denying the future, avoiding the present and digging in her past. Maybe in the end past was all she got. So she let her mind wander in the area of her previous so lucky karma.

Life was cruel. She had always known that and could have never done anything to change it. So instead of making the world a better place she had embraced its cruelty and not only let it live along and flourish, but also written her own page in the history of ruthlessness. Her own new chapter which had started not because of her, but had been continued only of her free will. She knew she could have made it stop. She knew she could have had a better life and made the world a more pleasant place to live in. But she hadn't. She couldn't have. What had been standing on her way beside revenge? Her pride maybe. Or the power. Being on the good side meant rejecting all of these. Who would she be without her pride, dignity and power? She would have had only the feeling she had been doing the right thing. Back then it hadn't seemed enough. Maybe now it would.

Her mind suddenly shifted to present and even though she tried to stop it, it was too late to change its course. She knew that now it would be enough. But it was already too late to check it. It was too late for everything and especially for a change. Besides, for who would she change? For the memory of someone?

Someone. She couldn't even think about him anymore. Every thought made her want to park lethally in the nearest tree. Pain was flooding from her heart and reaching every single cell in her body, pain million times worse than the one she had felt after Daniel's death.

Seeing the death of so many people, causing the death of even more people, she knew all to well life was cruel. But she had never suspected it could be so cruel. To take the life of an eleven-year-old boy, whose only crime had been a possession of too much hope, love and innocence. He had done nothing wrong, he had just been the purest and strongest of them all. Was it a reason why he had to die? Maybe. Maybe that had made him unprepared for the harsh reality of the life outside of his small glass box made of dreams. Sweet dreams where everyone in his family, everyone in Storybrooke or The Enchanted Forest was happy. Sweet dreams that will never come true, because without him their basics had just fallen apart and stopped existing. Without him not only they had stopped existing.

He was the reason why Storybrooke had vanished from the Earth. She wished she could share its fate. He was the reason why all its inhabitants and almost all his family had finally returned to their homeland. She wished she could be able to deal with his death the way they did. But she had no support, no shoulder to lean on, no one to understand. They didn't understand. They were only pretending.

He had always been the reason why she had been trying. Trying to be the good mother, trying not to kill the other side of his family, trying to earn his love. Without him she realised what she had really been aware of her entire life: she was a failure. She had felt it the whole time. She had been a failure as a daughter: her father had loved her, but he had loved her just like a parent should – without expectations, hopes and dreams, unconditionally. Her mother on the other hand... She had never been good enough for Cora. No matter what she would have done, it had always been wrong. Because she had been one hell of a failure in her mother's eyes. She had been a failure as a one true love: she had been the cause of Daniel's death. She couldn't have saved him. She had been a failure as a wife: she had never even tried to fulfill any of her 'duties' as a king's wife, because she had never cared about her husband. And in the end she had been the one to end Leopold's life. She had been a failure as a villain: her enemies had been always winning. And, most importantly, she had been a failure as a mother. She hadn't been able to keep her own son safe. And now he was gone, but this time for good. He hadn't decided to stay with his birth mother. He hadn't said she was a villain and walked away. He had died and nothing could bring him back this time.

New stream of tears escaped her eyes before she could stop them. The picture of Henry dying in her and Emma's arms was embedded in her mind – she saw it every time she let her lids cover her irises. She hadn't got to say goodbye to him, it had already been too late for that. And now she even couldn't remember what were her last words to him.

Strong light flashed before her eyes and she instinctively turned the steering wheel right, in the last moment avoiding the contact with the huge white truck. The smell of burned rubber spread in the air as the car slid on the surface of the carriageway. The vehicle wiped out and the wheels scrunched on the gravel that covered the roadside. Few meters further the car stopped, forced by a fierce push on the brake, raising the cloud of dust from the surface.

Her heart was beating few times faster than it should when it all stopped. She was sitting in the car trying to calm her breathing, sweat gathering on her forehead. She knew she had pushed the break too late and it could have ended badly. She just wished she hadn't pushed it at all. Damned instinct to protect the life won this time.

She stayed there for a longer while, just breathing and staring at the empty landscape in front of her. Empty to the same degree as she was. Eventually she wiped her face with her sleeve, removing the remains of tears and sweat and looked impatiently at the panel of the car. Every possible indicator light was red, including the one showing petrol level. She sighed and looked around. Thank God no one stopped to give her the piece of their mind about her road stunt. The fewer people the better. The traffic was mild and the surroundings weren't promising. Just the fields and plains around, without the sight of any civilization. She had to find some station if she wanted to continue this escape of hers and she had to do it fast. Outside of Storybrooke she might be completely powerless. She hadn't checked it yet and she didn't intend to do it in the nearest future. Especially not with the fueling.

Reluctantly she backed the car down and returned to the road. It was still boiling hot inside of the vehicle, but with the speed she hit after few seconds the wind made sitting there more bearable.

Few miles later, when the petrol control started blinking alarmingly, she saw a station. It was on the other side of the road, but who cared? She turned off and stopped the car where it was convenient.

Keeping her mind busy by focusing on the details she got out of the vehicle and looked around. It was the strange station – it served more as a restaurant apparently. It had only one pump and was self service. The building itself had a peculiar shape of a letter 'L'. The half of one part seemed to hide a typical shop and cashier's, the rest had to be some fancy vintage restaurant judging from the exterior.

Really fascinating place.

She quickly helped herself with the fueling and went toward the door on her left that led inside the shop. Her hand reached for the door knob, but the door appeared to be closed. She turned and walked around the building to find the other door which led to the restaurant. Basing from the noises, smells and chaos inside there were plenty of people. 'Plenty of people' definitely wasn't something she needed; in fact it was the last thing she would desire. For a short period of time she thought about fleeing without payment, but the security guy standing nearby shot her a suspicious glance. She could try to make him forget. Or not. Who knows what she was able to do now and here? Without second thoughts she cast the guy a fake smile and entered the building.

It was vintage as she suspected. New slash old long benches were standing next to the tables that were maintained in the same style. There was a smell of beer and sweaty men in the air. And definitely too many of them paid attention to her as she entered. She quickly looked away, seeking a counter. There it was, in the angle of the building and with a piece of paper on it, saying that payments for fuel were taken there. She approached it and looked around for anyone who would take mentioned payment, but there was no one from the service in the plain sight. Few seconds later she started knocking her nails against the wooden counter impatiently, like she was in a hurry. Funny. In the hurry to do what?

"Well, well, well, chop my other hand off if that's not the queen that my eyes are seeing." She suddenly heard these words behind her. She turned on her heals abruptly, recognizing this voice in an instant.

Her ears weren't mistaken apparently, because her eyes confirmed what she had just heard. Two senses couldn't broke in the same time. Few steps ahead of her, sitting on the bench with legs stretched and placed on the table, equipped with a mug, was no one else but captain Hook. He was wearing the same robes as always, but missing the object that stood behind his nickname. She snickered.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she snapped, casting the pirate an angry look. He smirked and she realised that was exactly what he expected to hear. "I mean, what are you doing here?" she changed the tone and faked a smile.

For the first time in a month she felt something else than pain – anger. She was really pissed off by seeing him here. The only thing she wanted was to get away from everything and everyone that could remind her about what had happened. She had it on a constant replay, she didn't need a reminder. Hook definitely was one. One irritating, annoying to an endless degree reminder.

"I'm... enjoying the views." His eyes followed one of the scantily clad waitress, so there was no doubt what views he was talking about.

"Views, you say," she sniffed, turning away and continuing her knocking, this time more impatiently. He sometimes behave like a child that would never grow up.

"There would be some quite good views for you too, if you care to join me," he said and she heard the sound of the mug put away on the table.

"No, thanks, I think I will pass." She turned a little with a grimace only to see him standing up. All her strong will was needed to refrain from rolling her eyes.

Some young man finally appeared behind the counter and took interest in receiving her payment. In the meantime Regina desperately thought how to get rid of Hook quickly and painlessly, if it was even remotely possible.

She hadn't seen him in month, since they had returned from Neverland. She had no idea if he had been around all this time or left in some unknown direction. She simply hadn't cared. And she still didn't care. Did he always have to jump in the middle of something he didn't understand and break it? He was just ruining her own escape. The only thing she hoped for was to cut off from her past, from everything that connected her with the Enchanted Forest, Storybrooke or Neverland. And again, he was an obvious link.

The service man had to go to the other side of the building to bring her change, so her attention became unattached again. She didn't turn though.

"I thought you came back to the Enchanted Forest with the sweet little family of six." His tone reverted into more serious one. He had to sense she was in no mood for little chat, jokes or sarcasm in general.

"I didn't, as you can see in the inclosed picture." She was in no mood for the talk at all. And especially not with the one of few people who were there when all of this had happened. But, knowing he wasn't the kind of person that gave up easily and driven by the sheer curiosity she finally faced him and asked, "I can tell the same about you. Why did you stay?"

He was half-standing half-sitting on the table, observing her closely. During the moment of silence she thought about their acquaintance. Neverland had changed it and the dynamic they once had had. But it wasn't anything peculiar – Neverland had changed everything, starting from small, little things, details normally not worth mentioning and ending with serious stuff. Her relationships with everyone had modified and in the last month she hadn't tried to put the foundations for the new ones. What for if she wasn't going to meet any of them ever again anyway? She hadn't been burning all of her bridges intentionally though. She just hadn't cared, secretly and not so secretly blaming everyone for Henry's death. Because in fact no one was innocent. They all had played their little parts in the tragedy that had led to his death. They were all to blame, maybe equally responsible, maybe not. And all of them had been dealing with it differently. She doubted Hook was dealing with it at all. It wasn't his problem, was it?

"That world has nothing more to offer me. You haven't seen it after the curse, but I did. I lived in it. Trust me, there is nothing worth coming back to." His eyes never left hers while he was speaking. "And there I had the choice between the empty world the charming Charmings can repopulate and the unknown world pulsing with life, hazard, new perspectives and opportunities. It wasn't a difficult decision."

"Great," she commented falsely. The service man came back and handed her the change. She thanked him and walked away from the counter. "It was a nice chat but now I have to go, so... bye."

Her reflex was lately a little bit rusty, so she didn't notice Hook changing his position until he barred the exit with his arm right under her nose.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" he asked with this smile of his, completely ignoring the furious look she cast him and added with more serious attitude, "What are you running away from?"

"Maybe currently from you, didn't you think about such a possibility?" she snapped, pushing him away and abruptly leaving the building. She prayed he wouldn't follow her, but that wasn't a likely scenario. He did follow her, of course.

"Why did you stay, Regina?" he asked, curiosity and caution in his voice.

"That's none of your freaking business," she replied, not bothering to stop the walk to her car.

"I think that is my freaking business when there is no one else to turn you away from your journey to perdition."

She burst out laughing and faced him eventually.

"My journey to perdition? Are you drunk?" Her laugh had nothing to do with laughter of joy. It was cold, full of anger and irony.

"I don't suppose so," he answered casually. "I am just drawing conclusions."

"You are jumping to conclusions, that's what you are doing," she corrected, stressing the word 'jumping'.

"If you're so eager to determine the right word, we can verify it," he retorted, leaning against one of the parked cars. "Few hours ago a car with description matching yours almost crashed into the truck which indicates some serious suicidal tendencies. You don't have anything to do since Storybrooke destruction, but you pretend to be in a hurry, so you don't want to have contact with people." He paused and looked inside her car through the window. "You haven't taken anything with you, which means you just want to drive. All of it betokens you are running away from life."

She winked, surprised.

"I have eyes." He shrugged, taking a step forward.

"Well, congratulations, Sherlock. I didn't notice when you have done the degree in psychology. Anything else you would like to add?" She crossed her arms on her chest and looked at him expectantly. He got on her nerves severely, but she had to admit that she was a little bit impressed. It didn't change the fact she was pissed of and wanted to get rid of him as soon as possible.

"Yeah, who is Sherlock?" He frowned and she had to refrain from laughing after seeing his confused expression.

"Never mind. Let's focus on you, shall we?" She decided the best way to discard him was to shift attention from her to him. "You didn't come back home because you don't treat it like home. Why? Because you don't have home or anyone to come back to. You are afraid of memories that come with that place and guaranteed loneliness that would be the only thing awaiting you there."

She smiled proudly and cruelly, certain she won this round.

"I guess that makes two of us," he replied, unmoved.

"I'm nothing like you!" Her anger rose. That was not the answer she was expecting. "I don't make rush decisions that can only lead to desperate search for coming back to the Enchanted Forest pretending I have a reasonable explanation for them."

"It sounds like you are worried about me." He smirked, looking at her victoriously. She took a deep breath to calm her shattered nerves.

"I'm not..." She paused, knowing this road will lead to nowhere. The change in tactic was needed. So she just smiled and ended nonchalantly, "I'm just curious how I could overestimate your intelligence so much."

"Oh." He still looked calm and unmoved. She didn't have the patience to stand him any longer, so she turned to her car and was about to open the door when he spoke again. "Henry would like to see you happy and living your life."

Her anger was immediately replaced by fury. She turned to her interlocutor with the attitude of a wild beast.

"Don't you dare talk about Henry! Did you even know him?" Every nerve in her body was tense and ready to attack. She wasn't going to talk about Henry. Her brain consisted of her son and only him and she really wanted to come back to this individual kind of grieving, but all of those thoughts couldn't leave her mind. That was the sacred area and no one, no one was allowed to invade it.

Besides, she was quite sure that once those thoughts seep through the tames she had created there will be no coming back and she would simply fall apart completely. Not talking and just running away was stopping her from breaking and shattering into tiny pieces of despair. She had fallen before. Counting only major breakdowns when she had thought she wouldn't be able to breathe ever again and not the moments she had just wished she was dead - twice, once with Emma around and second time on her own in her house. Third time's the charm, right? After this third time she would not be able to live another day. Additionally, she would never forgive herself for breaking down in front of Hook. She hated miss Swan, but Emma had been mourning Henry as well. It had been a completely different thing.

"I didn't have the pleasure of getting to know him, which I sincerely regret." He was truthful, she could sense that. "But I know that every son loving his mother wouldn't want her to mourn forever."

"You know nothing," she hissed few inches from his face, too many things in her mind to speak them aloud. Forever? How could he use that word when Henry had been dead for only a month? What was a month for a mother that had just lost her son? It was nothing, just a fleeting moment. She still felt like it all had happened yesterday.

But she didn't ask him any of those questions. She didn't need his answers. She had to turn away for a second, so he wouldn't see the tears that were gathering in her eyes, then decided to ramble on about anything, just to end this conversation in some decent way and fight her way out of this situation. At that time she would be able to drive away and cry alone in the safe interior of her car. An excellent idea.

"What do you even know about this world, hm?" she asked casually, holding the tears successfully. She was good at pretending to be stronger than she really was. "Pulsing with life? That's not enough. And what do you know about this life that it's pulsing with? About its habits, culture, money, cars? You know nothing at all."

"I think I know enough." He brought out a thick roll of money from his pocket and waved it with a cunning smile.

"Oh, you think you know anything about stealing? I don't think so." She smiled innocently, finally turning his attention away from her own life.

"Tell me about it," he said carefully, hiding the money.

"Well, in this world it's not so easy. There are forces of law that usually are pretty good in catching criminals. They use finger prints, security footage, ballistics, DNA matches, anything they could find." With satisfaction she watched as his expression turned gloomy. "You also think that you know something about guns, right? But you don't. You may know how to use it, but you have no idea what bullets are proper for specific kinds of guns, how to clean it after the shot to leave no trace. And that's only criminal world, where you would obviously belong, don't even get me started about the others. But most importantly you won't survive here long without an identity."

"I have an identity," he denied vividly.

"Oh, so you have an ID card? Or a driving license? Health insurance? Any document that would allow you to live here?"

"You know I don't," he gave up, a little traces of resignation could be heard in his voice.

"So good luck surviving here on your own." She smiled sweetly and finally managed to open the door.

"It all sounds like I would need a guide." He closed it instantly, leaning against her car next to where she was standing and looking at her expectantly.

Only after a moment did she realise what he meant.

"Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting?" she asked slowly, carefully choosing words.

"Yes," he answered quickly.

"No," she replied sternly even quicker. No way.

"Come on, that would be fun! Would you like to miss all these hilarious situations when you say something about famous fictional characters and I have no idea who you are talking about? You could show me how to survive in this world. We can be famous in this criminal world where we obviously belong. We can be like..." he paused for a second, taming his enthusiasm a little. "Well, I have no idea who, but I am sure you would find a good reference."

"No," she repeated firmly and opened the door one more time, holding it strongly and making sure he wouldn't close it again.

"No meaning you won't find a reference or meaning you won't be my guide?" he inquired nonchalantly.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Another sweet smile and a little bit of venom in her voice appeared additionally.

"So what, you will just leave me here alone? You know, while conquering this world together we wouldn't be so lonely, haunted by memories and driven by unrealized revenges. It would be a brave new world, my dear."

He was persistent, she had to give him credit for that. But playing on her emotions? Seriously?

She sat in the car and reached for the door-knob, looking up at him for one last time.

"Goodbye, Hook," she said and closed the door.

Still she could hear his words as he was shouting them from where he was standing, "Think about it! My offer will be valid until the end of this day."

She shook her head with a little smile, corrected the mirror, started the engine and drove away without looking back.

There was a thing worse than pain. It was lonely pain. Loneliness exceeded to the eternity, so clear and non time-consuming that every second could be separated from the other. And every one of those seconds wrote its own symphony of pain with parts for all possible instruments. There was nothing that would prevent them from playing the music of despair. Nothing to kill the time, nothing to turn the thoughts away, nothing to terminate the loneliness. Unless...

She almost burst out laughing aloud. Did she really think about going back, even for a second or was it just an illusion?

It wasn't an illusion. She did think about going back. But why did she give some thought to it? It was ridiculous to even consider such a possibility. She needed the eternity on her own to suffer the way she wanted, didn't she?

A dissimilar feeling started puncturing through the surface of her pain. For the first time in a long time her thoughts got off their track and wandered into different areas. Maybe... maybe she shouldn't have been lonely? Maybe Henry wouldn't have liked her to be lonely?

Today's truck wasn't an isolated case since her son's death when she had been really close to death just because she hadn't cared. Few more hours, days or weeks and she was quite sure this new suicidal tendencies of hers would get what they wanted.

"You know..." Swan's voice reverberated in her mind. The conversation they had had merely few days ago had been one of not so many moments when they had addressed each other like equal mothers. And that had been the only moment Regina had really listened to what Emma had been saying. "I like to think he is in a better place right now. Some there up in the sky or wherever. It doesn't really matter where, what matters is... I just believe he is happy now. Cheerful, hopeful and loving, just as he was here. And... I am sure he will be watching us and guard us the way we didn't manage to guard him. And he would like us to be happy. To continue his mission of spreading love and hope. So that when we meet again we would be able to say 'we didn't let you down again'. I... I hope you will remember that."

Tears, those stupid tears were rolling down Regina's cheeks once again. Had Emma been right? Probably yes. But... how could she 'continue the mission of spreading love and hope' without Henry? Was it even possible?

Few meters further she knew one thing: she will never know if it was possible if she wouldn't try. Was Hook's offer appropriate for the first attempt? Again: she will never know if she wouldn't give it a try.

She pulled over and stopped the car. Henry had always wanted her to do the right thing, to help people. Turning back and accepting Hook's offer would definitely be a good deed. The captain might be clever, cunning and resourceful, but without the basic knowledge of technology, law, some rules that defined this world he would end up in jail with a life sentence or in a laughing academy sooner rather than later. He needed help. It would be a good deed. Something Henry would like her to do.

There was also another issue: she felt she owed Hook something. After all, he had helped them in last harsh period of time. He had come back with the bean, transported them to Neverland and had a big part in making their survival there possible. They all owed him something. Of course it wasn't her and only her responsibility to repay him, but she was the only one left standing in this world and had a chance to compensate him for everything he had done.

Still, it wasn't easy to decide. She wasn't the kind of the person that was ever willing to pay back anything other than bad deeds. An idea popped suddenly into her head. People native for this world often made lists of pros and cons – it helped them decide what to do with a certain issue or at least that was what she had heard. It had usually seemed ridiculous, but this time... This time it could be an ultimate way to solve the problem. She didn't have anything to lose considering she had already lost everything that had been there to lose, so...

She sighed and started the list in her brain. Pros: she wouldn't be so lonely; she wouldn't probably have another chance to silently agree with her suicidal tendencies, although it could be both a pro and a con; Henry would approve it; it would be a good deed indeed which usually served as a pro for normal people; a repayment; some... fun along the way? She wasn't able to even truly smile right now, so that one should be crossed out, but still it was some kind of an advantage. Cons: she wouldn't be alone which would make silent suffering impossible; Hook was an irritating pain in the ass, driving almost everyone around him crazy most of the time; repeating from the pros, she wouldn't have another chance to follow her suicidal subconsciousness; and... She couldn't think of any other disadvantage.

It was 6 to 3. Pros side clearly won.

Shit.

Everything happened in her brain, so she was completely free to trick it into thinking what she wanted and simply continue her escape. But she didn't do it. She turned around instead trying not to analyze the issue again. It might be an impulse she would later regret. It might be the worst decision in her life. Only time will tell.

It was already pitch dark outside when she arrived at the station second time this day. Hook was leaning against the wall of the building, arms crossed, this smile of his present.

"I knew you would come back," he said when she opened the passenger's door without leaving the car.

"Just shut up and get in before I change my mind."

He obeyed this time and shut the door behind him.

And so the new chapter in Regina Mills's life began.

Hope you liked it! Would you like to see a second chapter? Greetings and hugs for everyone who has read it!