Title:Can a leopard Hide his spot?

Author: Crazysnape/psykogleek

Beta : GayforKurt thanks!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but words

Summery: Fed up with bullying Kurt decides to blend in with the surroundings, but there is the limit between mixing and losing himself, isn't it?

NA: this story had been written for the puckurt big bang. There is 10 parts and I am going to post one chapter a day, I hope you like it.

An awesome banner had been made for it and it can be find there : bumerbmw . livejournal 33253 . html

Thank you to all those who take the time to review, follow and favorite. I hope you will like the last chapter of the story

chapter 10

Saying that truth out loud and willingly to his friend had been difficult, but Kurt realized it gave him an incredible feeling of freedom. Puck's answer, or rather his lack of a real answer, crushed that feeling fairly quickly; the sensation, however, remained in a corner of his head.

Not ready to face Puck, Kurt went to Unique's that night. She had become his breath of fresh air; with her he was his true self without any concern. That night they watched a Canadian movie called C.R.A.Z.Y. that her friend Patty recommended, and it gave him this immense craving to see and talk to his dad.

He needed to be as honest with him as he was with most of his friends here.

He tried to convince himself it was ridiculous to go now. After all, he had been hiding himself for a long time, why couldn't he wait until Christmas holidays? It was only a few weeks away. That reasoning worked for a total of three hours, then, the craving came back full force to the point where it was impossible to avoid.

Practice that afternoon reached a height of matchless absurdity. Indeed, his distraction impacted on his game, and he nearly missed more shots in one afternoon than in the past year, in a whole. In the middle of it, the coach asked him to go shower and wait for him in his office.

The shower helped Kurt to come to a conclusion: he needed some time-off. He wouldn't be able to focus on anything as long as he needed to have this talk with his father. Quinn, too; he needed to see her, to be honest with her.

The discussion with his coach was short. Luckily, Kurt got along pretty well with the man. He wasn't one of the more demanding players as he always worked hard and didn't pose problems.

To modestly summarize, he was a 'perfect asset for the team'. He only told the man he had to leave for a few days, five at the maximum because of some family matters, and promised to be back on time and in better shape of mind for the game against UCLA.

Once the team problem was resolved, he sent an e-mail to his professors and organized with some friends to recover the lessons later. Then he threw some clothes in a bag, warned Unique of his impromptu departure and he was on the road by 4 p.m.

Questions and hypothetical scenarios about the talk to come spun inside his head during the first hour. Up to the point where it drove him crazy. The strain rose a bit more with every mile and the beeps of his phone ringing at regular intervals didn't help him keep calm, either. It had to be Puck and Sam since they both saw him leave practice early.

Logically, he should at least send them a text message to stop their questions and worries, but he didn't want to park to do it. He was afraid that if he were to take a break too soon, his own doubts would push him to turn back before reaching his destination. Instead, he turned the music up. Good thing the road was clear since Lenny Kravitz was wonderful to speed up to.

He hesitated for a long time but when he finally took a break, he called Carole to warn her he was on the way. If he had called his dad, he would have to answer more questions than he wanted to on the phone. He didn't want to spill anything in those circumstances. Carole was the safest option. She asked two things: if he had a problem, to which he replied 'no', and at what time he would be there to which he answered too late so they shouldn't wait up for him.

His step-mom was a doll.

When Kurt cut the engine of his car in front of his home, nearly five hours later, he was tired. He breathed and rolled his shoulders to loosen his nerves. Despite his request that they not stay up, light was shining out the living-room window showing they were, indeed, waiting for him.

He grabbed his bag, slid his phone into the back pocket of his jeans without reading any of the 35 messages waiting, and walked to the front door. Kurt raised his hand, ready to ring the bell, but a breeze went through him. He shivered, frozen. Go, Kurt, go! It's only your dad. It's not like the revelation you are about to make could change your whole life. He was still bracing himself when the door opened, revealing his dad.

"Hey, son, what are you waiting for? Come in!"

Kurt barely got inside before he was pressed against his father's chest. He dropped his bag and hugged back with all his might.

His eyes were stinging; gosh, he hoped he would never lose him.

"Hey, kiddo, it's good to see you."

"You, too, dad, you, too."

As soon as his dad released him, he fell into Carole's arms. Her smell wasn't like his mum's, but was still nice and heart-warming.

"Kurt, how are you, honey?"

"Fine, tired, but fine." He kissed her cheek and then moved away. She looked closely at him and announced:

"Your room is clean and the bed is ready. It's very late, why don't we go to bed and talk tomorrow?"

"Carole..."

"Burt, look at him! He is exhausted. Any talk you could have now would end badly. Whatever it is, I am sure that it can wait for him to have a good night's sleep."

His dad didn't look convinced by his wife's arguments so Kurt intervened. "Dad, Carole is right, I am tired, and you are, too. We will talk tomorrow. There is no rush." He stressed his claim with a reassuring smile.

"Don't give me the 'no rush' bullshit, Kurt. You wouldn't be here if something wasn't up. Tell me just one thing: are you sick?"

"No, dad, I swear!"

His father clearly had doubts, but he lined up with the majority and nodded.

"When do you need to be at the shop," Kurt asked.

"I'm not going. I took care of it with the guys as soon as I saw you were on the way. If you are here for a day, I wanna spend it with you, not working at the shop."

"Thanks, dad. I'm gonna have a shower before going to bed, okay? Good night."

"G'night, Kurt."

Being back in his old room felt odd. It wasn't his first time back since he'd moved for college, but circumstances were different now.

If the discussion didn't go well the following day, it could be his very last night here. Kurt refused to think it. He started, however, to gather some little things forgotten during his previous visits: photos, private diaries, some clothes, nothing high-priced, mostly memories.

He plugged in his phone to charge and saw in passing the increasing number of messages, but he didn't read them. He wasn't up to dealing with it – maybe in the morning.

Despite the impending discussion with his dad, sleep came very fast. Probably because he always slept alone here, he didn't miss his bed-buddy.

The now unusual sound of the house woke him up fairly early, given the time he'd gone to bed. When he arrived in the kitchen, Carole was about to leave for work.

"Your father is still sleeping, you know how he is with his lie-ins and he rarely got to do any, except on Sundays. I will see you tonight, right?"

"I hope so..." Shoot! He shouldn't have said that since she was now looking at him suspiciously, but she didn't add anything, only kissing his cheek like she used to do when he was in high school.

"Bye." After her departure, he was taken by an awful choking feeling, and a desire to take action before exploding. Breakfast, he had to make something for breakfast. Wasn't food supposed to soothe the savage breast? No, that was music, but his dad had always been more gourmand than a music-lover ... Then, yes, food it was!

He was starting to cook his tenth crêpe when his father made his appearance.

"Morning, dad."

"Son." The one-word reply and the lifeless tone were typical of his dad before his third coffee.

They chatted during the whole meal and the everyday domesticity helped Kurt to calm down. The tension rose back quite suddenly when his dad ate his last bit of crêpe and said: "Now, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing ..."

"Kurt, you're my son, and I know you. The likelihood that the main purpose of this visit was just to update me on Mike and Tina's engagement, or on the fact that Marley _ because that's her name and you really should start using it_ sold her first song, is close to none. Now, tell me. Is it a problem at school or with the team maybe? You told me you weren't sick ..."

"No, dad, no problem. I just ... needed to see you and talk to you, you know face-to-face."

"Well, I'm here and all ears."

Kurt stared at his father to watch for the myriad expressions about to cross his face.

"Okay ... It's complicated, and very difficult for me to say. First, I am sorry, I am so sorry to have lied to you for so long, but I was lying to myself, too, so it's not like I did it deliberately, I swear!"

"Kurt..."

"Please, let me finish." Kurt took a break and wiped at the tears which were starting to fill his eyes. "I realized something wasn't right about me at the time Sam started dating Unique ... I talked to them a lot and they helped me get my life in order... I only found the last part about three weeks ago... Then, yesterday I realized you didn't know any of it and it wasn't fair. I couldn't stand for you to be in the dark any longer. That's why I came. It's not the kind of talk you can have on the phone, don't you think?"

"I don't know. I'm glad you got your life in order as you said, and that you decided to come here to talk to me, but..."

Kurt's heart pounded wildly; that 'but' could be a bad omen.

"You forgot a critical thing."

"I did?"

"You did. I don't know what you are talking about!"

Kurt was taken aback by those words. He thought back to what he said and giggled. "Oops, you are right, sorry. Dad?"

"Son?"

"I ... I am gay."

It was a terrible time to realize that he had lost his ability to read his dad during their time apart, but he wasn't, on his life, able to decipher the light in his eyes.

"You're sure?"

He lowered his eyes, unable to face the judgement in his father's eyes as he nodded.

"I am very happy you came up here to tell me, and to be as honest with you as you were with me but… I knew."

Kurt jumped. "What? Really? You knew? But ... how?"

"I've known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels."

"Why ... why didn't you say anything?"

"Kurt, it wasn't my place. My job as your dad is to love you. And I do, whether you are straight or gay. I guess I'm not totally in love with the idea, but if that's who you are, there's nothing I can do about it. And, I love you just as much. The only thing I care about is: are you happy?"

Kurt stealthily wiped away his tears to answer, "I am getting there."

"Good. Is there someone special?"

"Daaadd!"

"What? I was just asking..." he grinned, and Kurt found himself relaxing completely.

Kurt left the next morning. After having spent some time at the shop and, savoured one of Carole famous casserole. Going home had been the right thing to do. If he'd had doubts before, they were gone now: he had the best dad in the world.

Now he could only hope that things would go as well with Quinn. She had been his best friend in high school, but ever since the break-up they'd grown apart somewhat, and that had to change.

He sent her a text message asking if she was free for dinner, and a surprised and positive answer later he was back on the road.

"I'm okay." Twenty voice-mails, double that number of texts, 48 hours of worry and he only got a two-word reply.

Puck stared at his phone in disbelief and threw it on the bed as if it was the guilty one.

He'd questioned a ton of people, but no one had nor offered him any information. He could swear that Unique knew more than she was letting on, but he couldn't prove it. Even for Sam it had been impossible to get a word out of her regarding Kurt.

As maddening as it was now, it was useful to know Unique was good at keeping secret.

His phone rang and he smiled: Kurt must have realized his message had been very short. He reached out for it and counted up to ten before picking up; he didn't want to appear impatient.

"Puck." At the sound of the voice his hope deflated. "Yo, man! How are you?"

No, he would never admit to being disappointed, it was just an illusion. "Never been better..." As usual, T.A. completely missed the irony and kept going.

"Great… so, I was talking to David earlier and we realized it had been a long time since the four of us had fun together. We should totally do something tonight. You free?"

"Yes..." He hesitated. Should he explain that Kurt wasn't there at the moment? He probably should have, but he forgot how quick at speaking T.A. was.

"Dave will take care of Kurt, but check with him when you see him, okay?"

"Er…"

"Fantastic. We'll pick you up at six. See you." And he hung up.

The T.A. hurricane hadn't changed; it was still as hard to resist him. He felt bad for Kurt, but that didn't last. He was the one who left without any warning, the one who didn't give any news. It was Kurt who should feel bad, not him. Tonight Puck was going to have fun and stop thinking about fucking friends who dropped their own friends and disappeared.

Later, when he opened the back door of Dave's pickup truck, Puck was surprised to see Harry. He glanced at the driver side and Dave said, "I couldn't reach Kurt so I thought: if it can't be an ex-roommates' thing, let's make it a buddies' night instead."

Puck shrugged. He didn't care much, Harry was a cool guy. They headed to a diner where burgers were mostly fat. Kurt would have been horrified.

They talked about football and boring school stuff. T.A. was very voluble about one of his professors, Dave rambled about some internship he was trying to get, Harry revealed that he was bargaining with three different teams and Puck got to brag about his book. Then, scared the talk would turn toward Kurt's whereabouts, he asked T.A. about Nancy's.

He was persuaded T.A. would start his usual praise of the girl, but instead he said, "We are on break."

More than astonished, Puck took a quick look over at Dave and he seemed more annoyed than anything else. As for Harry, he didn't seem to realise there was a problem.

"Damn! What happened?" This was like Quinn and Kurt's break up – out of the blue.

"We are not broken up, really, just on break. It's getting harder to be so far from each other..."

"T.A., that's a lie; tell the truth," Dave butted in.

"I am not lying!"

"Well, you are not being entirely honest, either. Tell them everything so they can tell you how stupid you are! If Nancy knew she would dump you, and you would deserve it."

"Shut up, Dave! You have your opinion, I have mine. But… okay, why not? I will tell them, but give them a chance to get their own point of view."

"Fred, George, stop the argy-bargy and start talking: we don't have all night ... Okay, we have, but I don't want to spend it listening the two of you talking for the sake of talking," Harry said.

Puck burst out of laugh. "Well said, dude!"

"The thing is that I met this woman..."

"You cheated on Nancy? Bad, man, bad!" And it was, because Nancy was perfect for him, once she managed to get used to his constant babble.

"I didn't! But she is great, a real lady, she is studying art history..."

During T.A.'s speech, Dave sneezed something that looked like "slut!" and that was disturbing. Dave wasn't the most courteous guy of the world but he was respectful toward women.

"Dave, why don't you say what you think? Looks like you're itching to do it."

"Dude, she is whatever you want, but not a Lady. That's an insult to all the ladies in the world."

"David!"

"What? Don't you see how she dresses? Next to her, that Gaga chick is conservative!"

Now Puck was puzzled. Did she walk around naked?

"And the first time you went out with her she left with someone else's number. 'Just in case.' Tell me that I am lying."

"So what? It's not like we were a couple!"

"'Were? So now you are?" The tone of Dave voice aroused Puck's interest, the guy knew something.

"More and less," A.T. replied, but he didn't sound very sure, which was a rare occurrence for him.

"Where is she tonight?"

"With some friends."

"Brad or Joey?"

"Both, why?"

"Fuck you! Are you stupid or stupider?"

"What?"

"They are her fuck-buddies. She told you, they told you. I don't understand. How can you accept it?"

"It's... we are not exclusive."

Listening to their discussion was like watching a tennis match and, to Puck's thinking, Dave was about to win. The latter was incidentally about to add some juicy detail when Harry cut in.

"Let's see if I understand well. You have been with Nancy for three years…

T.A corrected him: "Four," and making things worse at the same time.

"Four. You used to think she was your soulmate..."

"I still think she is."

That guy was very confusing.

"So, you wanna leave your soulmate for another girl: a kind of gold-digger who has more one-night-stands than Puck in the golden days, a bit slutty. Is she really smart, or very funny? She must have something special going for her!" Harry ended his sum up in disbelief. And, suddenly, Puck knew.

"What's her name?"

The question didn't seem relevant to the quarterback and he pointed it out. "Who cares? Dave is right, that's stupid."

With a smirk, Puck commented "Wait I think it's more ridiculous than you think. And, he cares. So?"

Dave's sneering smile and T.A.'s nervous one told Puck he'd hit the nail on the head.

T.A. muttered his answer: "Edith."

He thought very hard and very quickly, before exclaiming, "…like in Teddy Roosevelt's wife's name, right?"

"Yes! Isn't it fantastic?"

"Dave is right, you are stupid."

"I don't understand..." and Harry truly looked lost.

"Our dear friend here has the weirdest kink I ever came across: Names..."

"I do not!"

Ignoring the interruption, Puck carried on: "To be more precise, names connected to presidents of United State of America."

"How come?" Harry glanced at T.A. who was trying to make himself inconspicuous.

"I could bet he doesn't have any feelings for that Edith. If what Dave said is correct, she really isn't T.A.'s kind of girl. What he likes is her name. Nancy is perfect for him, she is smart, a pure beauty and patient and she even shares her first name with Reagan's wife. The only good thing about this Edith is she's got the same first name as Roosevelt's wife. And, to that idiot, it's a very good omen. They could be Theodore and Edith 2.0. Dave is wrong: you are not stupid, you are a moron doubled with a jackass."

"Hey!" The lack of honest contradiction from T.A. proved he realised they were right, but refused to admit it. "Okay, I don't wanna discuss it anymore."

Puck remained silent after that, focusing on his burger. It was good, at the beginning, but Kurt was right: the homemade ones were far better. This one was disgustingly fatty.

"I met someone." Dave's words surprised them all. He never had been very open about his love life.

"Man! Why didn't you tell me?"

So T.A. didn't know either? Odd, but if Dave decided to tell them now it must be important.

"Good for you! Tell us about her..."

"Patrick is great – no, fantastic! We met in a bar two months ago and we just ... the penny dropped."

"Patrick? Original for a girl..."

Puck stared at T.A. in disbelief. Where did his brain go?

"It's not a girl... I ... I am ... gay. I'm gay."

Two jaws dropped and Puck only thought was 'what the fuck? They are everywhere!' Then, he noticed Dave seemed awkward and he was saying something about leaving. Puck realised he had to say something to calm him down.

"It's cool, dude. If it's good for you, it's good for us… right guys?"

They all agreed and T.A. asked, "When do we get to meet him?" That question gave them one of Dave's brightest smiles.

They left the diner half an hour later to go bowling, opting to avoid the clubs, since Harry and Dave were taken and T.A.'s love life was already complicated enough. As for him, he didn't feel like trying to chat up a girl; after all, it was a buddies' night.

Later that night, as he was trying to sleep, Puck wondered why Dave and Kurt's revelation didn't receive the same reaction. Why was he completely cool with Sam and Unique, Dave and Patrick, but to imagine Kurt with guys like that Snobastian was unbearable?

He focused his thoughts on Dave. He liked him. Dave was his friend even if they'd taken some time to reach that level. He would even go so far as to say they were good friends. The guy didn't open up easily, and musically their tastes were complete opposites, but Puck knew the man hadn't had a simple life and the worst he could wish for him was to be happy. And, from the way he talked about Patrick, he was on the right track.

Sam ... He loved Sam; they were more than just friends. He loved Sam as much as he loved Jake and Jo. Sam was his brother in all except blood. Puck had watched him struggle with all his relationships. Santana, Mercedes and Brittany had been good for him up to a certain point, but with Unique it had been different from the start.

It was love at first sight, on both parts, and if discovering she had a penis didn't drive them apart, to Puck's thinking, nothing could. That was a good thing; Unique was a good person and she helped Sam to be better. Who was Puck to judge her on what she had or hadn't in her pants? She made his brother happy and he was all for it.

And then there was Kurt. What was Kurt to him? If Dave was a friend, Kurt was more than that, but he wasn't a brother like Sam. Or it would be a very incestuous one with all the gay chicken. True, he'd tried to play with Sam, too, but they would have never gone so far. He didn't want to think about gay chicken, nor of the reactions it produced in him, and even less the lack of reaction his last rendezvous with Gaila had had.

To be honest, he didn't want to think at all, he longed for the very elusive sleep to come. To achieve his goal, he decided to do what he'd avoided since Kurt left: he went to sleep in the other boy's bed.

Kurt wasn't there, of course, but the mattress and the smell was comforting. He hugged Kurt's pillow and soon fell into a refreshing sleep. He slowly moved during the night and when he woke up the next day, Kurt was at the pillow's place.

His first thought was 'finally', but it didn't last long. Without trying to be careful, he pulled his arms away and left the room.

Kurt came back to college lighter than when he left. His discussion with his dad had been wonderful and his meeting with Quinn got their relationship back on a better footing. The start had been difficult since she thought he was there to get back with her and, like he discovered later, she'd got engaged to a future pastor.

Despite the initial embarrassment, the talk went nicer when she understood the purpose of his visit was something else entirely. They caught up and chit-chatted on mundane things they missed in each other's life. When he shyly announced the reason for his presence, she had a wonderful reaction. She listened, smiled and then hugged him tightly.

Apparently, like his dad, she'd had some suspicions, but she wasn't able to put a name to them before their break-up and, by then, she didn't dare to say a word about it.

Like his father, she casually asked if he had someone special in his life, but this time as he assured her no; he was fighting against Puck's picture dancing in front his eyes.

Kurt forced himself to not think about Puck during the remainder of his short stay in Yale, as well as in the journey back, only to find the said man asleep in his bed. He couldn't prevent his heart from jumping with joy in his chest. They hadn't slept here together since their last aborted gay chicken game.

As silently as possible, he changed into his night-clothes, took his pillow back and slid between the sheets. He felt Puck's arm wrapping around him as he fell asleep, smiling.

An abrupt motion got him out of his sleep after what felt like a few minutes of rest. He didn't need to open his eyes to know what had woken him up. Puck leaving the room not as discretely as usual could only mean one thing: he was angry.

Was it about his byroad coming-out or his unforeseen leaving?

Kurt shivered at the thought of their future talk. Puck could be the kindest man, but he also knew how to hurt with words. The sound of cupboards and drawers slamming convinced him to get up and face the music. The more he would wait, the more Puck would be annoyed.

The first thing he saw when he entered the kitchen was his friend at the table, his phone on display and a mug of coffee between his hands.

"Hey."

Gosh! If eyes could kill, he would be dead by now.

"'I'm okay.' Thank you, it was very informative. You know what? Next time, be pithier. It's not as if we were worried or anything..."

Ouch, straight to the point! Kurt prepared his coffee and sat in front of his friend, saying softly, "Sorry."

"Oh, you are sorry? Well, if you are sorry there is absolutely no problem then." Kurt watched as Puck got up, put his mug in the sink and walked to the door. Following an impulse, Kurt caught Puck's hand. "Wait! I am really sorry, you know. I went to see my dad and Quinn. After our talk, I had to see them..."

"And I supposed they forbade you to call?"

"No, of course not ... I needed to focus on them and ... I didn't know what you wanted ... our last conversation was rather..."

"Shitty." Puck's arm relaxed in his hand so Kurt released it, aware that his friend wouldn't leave now.

"Yes. Do you think..."

"Do I think what?"

"You could accept it? Accept me?"

"Naturally! I was only surprised, I had no clue and between all the changes you went through lately, I got the awful feeling that I didn't know you anymore."

"I swear you do. I tried different things, but I am still the same, only with more varied interests. And, gay, not straight."

"Okay. I'll just need some time to adjust. You're up for a Risk?"

At those words Kurt's heart blossomed. His dad, Puck, Quinn, Sam and Unique all the most important people in his life knew now, and better still, they accepted it.

"Okay, but just one, I have a ton of work to catch up."

The next few days went without any major events, except his meeting with Dave and "his friend" Patrick at Hippo. They didn't talk a lot, but their respective presence on Friday night was revealing enough. Instead, they had fun, the three of them dancing for a long time. Sebastian came by during some songs, but ever since the evening with Puck, all the sensations the boy incited in him went into a dive.

Kurt was starting to realise that Puck's presence in his life might not have just positive effects. They needed to find a new way to interact or the big crush he had on his friend would destroy everything.

Kurt was avoiding him; no, he was avoiding his touch.

At first Puck didn't think too much of it, but it was annoying to see Kurt detour around him, a bit hurtful, too. That was why he decided to talk to him the next time it happened. He didn't have to wait for long. That night as he slid into Kurt's bed, the other boy was already asleep. Then he laid down next to him and waited a few seconds before hugging him as usual.

Any other time, they would have woken up in the same position and cuddled a moment before starting their respective day. It was their thing. Puck would only confess it under torture, but he was a cuddle-whore, and Kurt's cuddles were the best. However, that particular morning he woke up in an empty bed, something he hated. Was Kurt gone once again?

Luckily, he wasn't far and Puck found him in the kitchen savouring his coffee. He didn't say a word and immediately hugged Kurt from behind. He needed the cuddle to have a good day. It was his lucky charm. However, Kurt didn't hug back, instead, he moved away and said: "Puck, we need to talk."

Puck didn't like the sound of that one bit. He could recognise a typical break-up line even if it had never been used on him since he'd never had a steady girlfriend. Now he attempted to lighten the atmosphere. "Dude, don't tell me you are dumping me?"

From Kurt, a strained smile; it didn't work.

"Puck, we can't carry on like this. I know I said my homosexuality doesn't change anything, but I was wrong."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I like you, a lot..."

"Like?"

"Like, like ... As you say, you're a hot stud, and I noticed some of your... attributes?"

"So you like me? You think I am hot? Is it my guns? My delicious lips? Or maybe ..."

"Puck, this is not a joke!"

"I know, sorry. So what?"

"I think we can't behave like we used to. It's bad for us. I have to stop seeing you that way because I know it will never happen. I have to find someone who likes me, someone I could like, too. We have to be less tactile, but more than anything, you need to sleep in your own bed. If nothing changes, I am afraid our relationship will crash in front of us. I don't want that… do you?"

Once he agreed, Kurt hugged him for what felt like the last time and left him alone in the kitchen. Puck was beginning to believe that the kitchen was cursed. Every time he had a meaningful talk with Kurt here, the boy moved further and further away from him.

Yet, his boy was right; he didn't want to lose him so he would do whatever Kurt needed.

Except, it was easier said than done. To sleep in his bed was bad for the quality of his rest and his sleep went from bad to worse. He missed Kurt's presence like mad. He attempted to have one-night stands more often, but women didn't always want to spend the night after sex, and the ones who stayed didn't do the trick.

He never realized how dependent on Kurt he was. And, the bad nights were only part of his problem. He had to control himself all day long.

Was it because he had to restrain himself or had he always touched Kurt so much?

His interactions with Kurt were different from the ones he had with Sam or Harry, for example. Giving high-fives or shaking his hand was hardly conceivable, but he forced himself because that was what Kurt needed. To be honest, when he stopped himself from kissing his cheek to say 'hi', it hurt (that custom started as a joke, but it became their thing in time).

And the cuddles, he missed their cuddles like mad; there were the morning cuddles which helped him wake up, the unconscious ones during the night, and the TV cuddles. He was so used to having Kurt near him during movies that the few times he tried to watch one since they cut their cuddle time, he kept on squirming without finding a comfortable position.

He slowly came to the conclusion that Kurt might be needing changes, but those changes were not good for him. Maybe he should talk to him in order to strike a happy medium. He prepared the ground for a day or two, or at least he was under the impression he did. Indeed, on the day he decided to discuss the situation with Kurt, his friend arrived, a bright smile wreathing his face and said: "I have a date!"

All Puck's hopes crashed: Kurt would never accept for their relationship to go back to how it was before. Now he had a boyfriend it wouldn't be appropriate.

When Patrick offered to introduce him to his British roommate, Adam, Kurt hesitated before accepting. His feelings for Puck were still there. It seemed a bit hypocritical to meet him as Dave's single gay friend, but seeing as no one knew the existence of those feelings, it was hard to refuse without reason.

In the end, it was a good thing. Adam was a nice guy. Physically speaking, with his blond hair, blue eyes and his lovely smile, he was good looking _ the complete opposite of Puck _ and he was studying theatre. It was funny to have a date with someone whose life could have been Kurt's, had it not been for his father's heart attack.

Their first date consisted of sharing a coffee. The coffee was good, the company and talk even better. It was nothing extraordinary, but they enjoyed it enough to have another date.

Their second date took place in the evening, Jennifer and Eric, two friends of Adam's had a part in a production of 'Rent'. Kurt loved that musical and he couldn't refuse even if he would cry like a baby and have eyes and nose red for the rest of the evening.

He stopped counting their dates after that, he just enjoyed them. It was nice to have someone to call his boyfriend. The kissing part wasn't bad either, but he refused to compare them to the breath-taking ones he shared with Puck during their gay chicken games.

Adam and their relationship wasn't the perfect fairy tale, but it was nice. Puck was strange since he started to go out with Adam and Kurt refused to think about the reason.

After being very quiet on the topic, Puck started to drum into Kurt's head how he wanted to meet Adam. He refused for as long as possible. He had no desire to see the man he was currently dating, and the friend he appreciated a bit too much at the same time, in the same place. However, when Adam started asking about his friends, too, he could not avoid it any longer.

Adam came over on a Saturday afternoon. Luckily, Sam and Unique were there, too. Unique must have had a hunch and realized he was nervous. It wasn't the boyfriend-meeting-the-parents level of stress, but pretty close.

The final result wasn't too bad.

Adam had been his charming self: he talked with every one of Kurt's friends. Kurt managed to busy himself up to the point that he didn't have time to make unwelcome comparisons. Sam got to show them some of his newer impressions and Puck ... Puck had been oddly nice. Kurt couldn't tell what, but there was something just a little bit out of place.

He was right; after that night, Puck's behaviour started to shift. It wasn't obvious to anyone else, but him.

The first chaste kiss on the cheek Puck gave him after that had been a surprise. And, since Puck was in a bit of a mess at the time, Kurt didn't make a big deal about it, especially since it was nice. After that, it seemed too late to react and the kiss always came out of nowhere. There was no pattern he could avoid: once in the morning, others at night for goodnight, sometimes completely out of the blue in the middle of the day, but always when he was alone.

Then, the cuddles came back. Not as often as before, but they came back nevertheless. They would be watching the TV and suddenly Puck's head ended up on his knees, he would offer him his sweetest smile and Kurt would find himself unable to ask him to move.

Three weeks after the meeting between Adam and Puck, Kurt was woken up by a knock at his door. Half asleep, he mumbled, "Come..."

Opening an eye, he saw Puck, clad just in his boxers, entering.

"Kurt?"

"Hmmm ... you okay? Need help?"

Running his hand in his hair, Puck averted his eyes. "Can I sleep here?"

"Puck..."

"I know what you said, but I am tired, no I am bone tired. I haven't had a good night's sleep since the last time I was here. Please?"

Kurt let out a sigh and lifted his sheet in a clear invitation. "But just for tonight."

"Thank you."

He was about to fall asleep again, when he heard, "Kurt? What does he have that I haven't?"

Kurt heard the question, but it took him a few seconds to understand it. "Who? Adam?"

"Yes."

What was Puck trying to tell him? "I don't understand..."

"Why is it okay for him to touch you, to kiss you, to do all those things with you, but not for me?"

Kurt turned around to face his mate. "Puck, you know... I'm trying to build a relationship with him, the kind of relationship you and I can't have together."

"Why? Because I am pretty sure he doesn't appreciate you as much as I do. I miss you, Kurt."

"I'm still here."

He felt Puck's hand searching for his. "It's not the same. I miss how we used to be. I hate that stupid wall you want to erect between us."

Kurt tried to pull his hand out of Puck's, but the latter tightened his hold. "I am sorry that you hate it, but I need it. I don't want any confusion..." He couldn't end his thought before being cut off.

"You miss it too, right?"

"Of course, but..." Once more he was interrupted.

"So, why? Why don't we try to do what we really want? Why should we both be hurt when we want the same thing? Why can't we be as affectionate as we desire?"

""Because ... because it's not what friendship is, it looks like a..." He didn't dare to finish his thought, but Puck didn't have the same reserve.

"Romantic relationship. So what?"

Kurt didn't know what to say, and the silence was deafening. He swallowed, switched the light on and muttered, "You want that kind of relationship ... with me?" That question didn't get any verbal answer, but the way Puck intertwined their fingers was an agreement by itself.

"Okay, I am astonished. I've known you for four years and all that time you went through women like Unique changes her clothes, and now you want to go out with me? Do you realize that if it doesn't work we probably wouldn't be able to go back to what we had?"

Without a blink, Puck nodded. "It will work. No more women… and no more Adam?"

"No more Adam."

"Can I kiss you now? It has been a very long time..."

"No. I don't want to start whatever we are about to start before I end things with Adam. It wouldn't be fair to him or us. I'm sorry."

"I don't like it, but I can understand. May I _ at least _ hug you?"

"Yes."

They switched the light off, laid down and soon Kurt was wrapped in Puck's arms, in his heat, in his smell and then they were both sound asleep.

The next event went without drama. Breaking up with Adam was kind of anticlimactic.

They went to the coffee shop where they had their first date _ which in retrospect wasn't a very good idea.

As Kurt was getting ready to tell him, the other man announced a wonderful job opportunity that had opened for him and he was leaving for London in two weeks. Kurt briefly pondered if he should tell him why he'd asked to see him so fast, but ultimately decided to not do it since it didn't really matter now. So, he simply congratulated him. Then, they agreed it would be better to break up instead of vainly trying a long distance relationship, and both went their way half an hour later.

When he went back to the apartment after his last class, Puck was already here. He was working on a paper, sitting on the couch. Without a word, Kurt joined him and cuddled up against him, happy.

They didn't rush into the physical part, even if they wanted to. They started by finding their bearings in this new relation. They discussed various necessary topics like what they wanted from it, how open they wanted to be, if they should tell Sam immediately or wait a few weeks.

That last concern was taken out of their hands when their friend caught them kissing ere long. Being his wonderful self, Sam only said: "Oops, sorry, I'll just ... head to my room?"

Once the foundations were set, everything went smoothly. Puck and Kurt explored their bodies without the boundaries required by a stupid game and Kurt couldn't be happier. Three weeks into their relationship, he asked Puck to move all his belongings in his room, or rather their room, since Puck had slept there more often than in his supposed room. And, the time flew by without any of them noticing it.

Kurt could hardly believe he had been here for four years, and yet Puck and he were going to graduate in a few short months. He would be sad to leave Sam and Unique behind, but he'd chosen New York for his Graduate school a long time ago. Without his scholarship he would have already been there.

Now he was only waiting for two things to be fully happy and relaxed: a positive letter from one of the schools he'd applied to and an idea of what Puck would do next year. He had always said his goal was to play as professional and to make a lot of money. Kurt knew some minor teams had contacted him, but he hadn't said whether he was still interested or not.

As silently as possible, he turned the key in the lock and opened the door just as carefully. He had worked late with his study group and he didn't want to wake anyone, especially since Puck had started to wait for him on the couch. Unfortunately, he failed.

"Kurtie-pie, that you? It nearly one a.m.! Where were you?"

Well, his boyfriend was most certainly not asleep, but from the awful pet name he had just used, Kurt could bet he was drunk or at least stoned. Which, he had to admit, was strange since Puck never drank alone. Frowning, he looked for him in the flat and found him slouched in the living-room.

"Yes, Puckie-pie, that's me and I told you I would be home late..."

"Damn, that's right, don't know why I forgot." No comment on the ridiculous 'Puckie-pie' meant he was definitely drunk.

"Maybe because you..." Kurt look around for the alcohol before concluded "... lost your brain in wine?"

"Maybe."

Kurt sat beside his boyfriend and in two seconds they were snuggling. With time Puck didn't even try to hide what a cuddle-whore he was, it was adorable.

"So what got you to open that bottle, thirsty-man?"

"You've received letters."

"That's what motivated you to drink? It's not the first time it has happened, you know?"

"Yep, smart-ass, but there's letters and then letters. I was excited and curious about their contents, so I drink a bit to calm down, but you came back veerrry late."

Kurt's eyes fell on the letters waiting on the table. Puck was right: there were letters… and letters. He reached for them: there were three. He hesitated a second before ripping the first choice and read:

Dear Mr. Hummel,

Your application for the . in Exercise Science and Nutrition degree at Sacred Heart University has been received. Your status is as follows:

Major: Exercise Science and Nutrition

You must submit all necessary documents and meet all stated requirements.

You are admitted...

"I got in! I got in!" His yells were cut off by soft, damp lips.

"Congratulations!"

"Thank you!"

"So we are going to New York?"

Kurt's heart jumped. "We?"

"Of course, Kurtie-bear, as if I would let you go by yourself. You're stuck with me now!"

Stuck with him? There were worse fates... and he looked into Puck's shining eyes, at the smiling lips. He barely gave himself the time to think that, indeed, there were worse fates, before pressing his lips to those of his best friend and boyfriend, happily getting lost in the kiss.

The End