AN:First of all i just want to say, I'm sorry that I abandoned my other story, but there was a break in at my house and somebody stole my laptop. I had future chapters written in there and after that, I just wasn't motivated to continue. Thank you so, so much for all the reviews.

I know it's kind of cliche to have the people locked away somewhere so they're forced to talk about everything, but I just don't see these two saying a whole lot if they have the option to walk away.

Anyway, although the idea isn't all that original, I hope some of what's written is.

Also this was written on my iPad, since I still haven't gotten around to getting a new laptop, so don't mind the random capital letters and other annoying things autocorrect on these things do.

I do not own rookie blue or it's characters

Unexpressed emotion will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways. - Sigmund Freud

Ever since the case with Perrick things are easier between them, lighter, not so intense-
..until they're not.
Andy's been stuck working a stupid case with Sam for nearly a week and she's about ready to rip out her hair.
Something must have happened a few days back because his mood suddenly switched from civil to bitchy.
And the fact that they just got locked in some bomb shelter in a suspects backyard- in the middle of a storm, with an hour left on shift- just makes it that much worse

"Oh great! Just perfect!" Sam yells at her- like its her fault or something-when he realizes what happened.

"Oh yaaa because I locked the door on purpose. I planned this of course, was tired of your snide remarks and dirty looks, thought we should talk."

He glares and her and tries more aggressively to get the door open.
"Ya, I think it's locked"

"How is it you're not a detective yet?"
And this attitude of his, well-
She's had enough.

"Did I do something to you that I'm unaware of? Why do u hate me so much.?"

"I don't hate you, Andy"

She snorts, tries to radio dispatch to send someone to get them out. Because honestly, she can't handle being around him any longer.

"This is McNally, we're locked in some sort of bomb shelter, if you could send someone to get us out that'd be great."

When she hears static on the other end she tries again,
"Dispatch, this is McNally."

Again nothing.

"Radio doesn't work."

Sam gets out his phone, presses 4 on speed dial, "Must be all the metal."
But the phone doesn't even dial out.

"Towers are probably down because of the storm"

"Ya nobody's gunna hear us either, over that" she points outside.

They check for any possible way of getting out, try the radio and phones a couple more times before she finally sits down.

"I need outta here" she frustrated- Sam can tell- shes got some place to be. That or, she's some place she wishes she wasn't.

"Big plans, McNally?" He's joking, her and her plans, he's never been a fan.

"You know me.." she smiles, "Nick and I were just gunna head to that new restaurant downtown, heard it was good."

"Spending a lot of time with Collins lately, huh?"

She furrows her brows, "And..."

He shrugs his shoulders, innocent look on his face.

"My personal life is really none of your business... Not anymore" she tells him, matter of fact.

"Was it ever?"

She scrunched up her face in disbelief, then it hits her, what he's talking about, "oh." then real sarcastically, "you're referring to the time you ran a background check on my mother?"

He rolls his eyes and tells her pointedly, "I was trying to protect you"

She snorts, "Which makes this entire turn of events pretty ironic, wouldn't you say?"

She's talking about him. How he was the one who broke her. He tried so hard to protect her from her mother, terrified shed leave again. And in the end, he was the one who abandoned her.

He's confused though, "What?"

"Nothing."

That annoys him, her not saying what she means. "You know, I don't get you mcnally, you say one thing and the do the opposite. You're so damn complicated, you drive me crazy."

She half laughs at that.. because, seriously?

"That's rich. Coming from you"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She thinks about telling him everything. laying it all out there. Telling him how
she spent their entire relationship trying to guess what the hell he was thinking. How confused she was when he told her he didn't care about the job, that all he wanted was her, then continuously ran off at the crack of dawn every morning, only to break up with her because he couldn't be a cop and be with her.

She wants to tell him how frustrating it was that she had to pry out every little tid bit of information about him and how much it hurt when he promised not to give up with out a fight, but then did just that.

How annoying it was that he ran around trying to protect her from everything and everyone, when he was the only thing that could really hurt her.
Most of all though, she wants to tell him how completely ruined she was, when he told her he loved her and then not six months later he had a new girlfriend.
In the end, she bites her tongue, shakes her head and tells him, "your not exactly an open book."
Then as an afterthought, "You know what, you're not even a closed book. You're more like a book that's sealed shut, put in a safe and thrown into the bottom the the ocean."

"You paint quite the picture" he responded sarcastically

"Ya well, inspiration's half the task, isn't it?"

"Right."

He sits himself down on the floor, leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. The floors cold and damp and the rooms dark, but something about being there makes him feel calm, at ease, for the first time in a long time. Maybe it's McNally, having her locked in there with him. weird as that is, he knows she's not going anywhere, she can't. He doesn't take the time to figure out what that means because next thing he knows, her voice breaks him from his thoughts.
"I'm starving."

He scrubs his face with his hands, "I'll order us a pizza"

"Ha." She responds dryly.

He's watching her face- what he can see of it- misses just looking at her. He tries not to do it so much anymore, doesn't know who might see. He can do it here though, nobody's watching, nobody's judging. She's sitting on the floor across from him, a couple feet away, tracing a crack in the concrete with her index finger. He kicks her foot with his.

When she looks up he asks, "So uh, you and Collins, you serious?"

After a beat, "Are you serious with that question right now?"

He shrugs non committally, "I asked, didn't I?"

"How's Cruz?" She smiles sweetly.

He rolls his eyes at that, but gets where she's coming from.

She sighs, "Look Sam, I know we said we're friends now, or whatever, but I just don't think that's something we should discuss."

"I'm just looking out for you is all. I mean he DID just break up with, peck. They have a long history..."
And the way he says it, it's like a warning, like back with Luke and Jo-
They made quite the team

"Well I mean, That doesn't always matter. Look at you and Marlo, how long was it exactly?"
And that-
well that gets to him. Mostly though, because it makes sense.

"That's not the same."

"How so?" She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. If he thought they weren't as serious, that's why he could move so quickly, she couldn't even-

"You jump into things head first all the time. Moving things along so fast."

"Are you calling me flaky?" She asks, offended.

"I'm just saying, sometimes I wonder if you know what your getting into."

"You think I would have chose to be with Luke, when I had feelings for you, if it wasn't something I thought a lot about? You think I would have gone back to your cover apartment with you, knowing the risks, if I didn't think it was worth it? What would make you think that was an impulsive decision?

"Because the next minute you were running off to temagami!" He practically shouts at her

Shes mad now, leaned right forward, "I did that for both of us sam! So we could be together and keep doing what we love. I didn't know it was an either or thing. I thought by leaving I could get both."

"Ya and we gave it a try but it didn't work out."

"Oh I know. And we've gone over this. But don't go blaming it on me not knowing what i want." She points her finger at him, "you're the one that pushed me away every time something came up."

He rolls his eyes and looks at the wall beside him.

"No it's true. For three years Sam!"

He looks back at her "Oh ya it was alllll me. "

"The blackout?" She mentions, like it was obvious. Which ya.
And seriously, the fact that they're having this discussion right now, about things that happened so long ago, says a hell of a lot about their communication skills.

"It was my fault you went to callaghans fishing cabin?" He asks her in disbelief

"I never wanted to! When I went to talk to you about what happened between us you told me 'it was what it was' I mean, what is that?"

"That was three years ago andy. Maybe it's time to let that one go."

"Oh ya just sweep it under the rug, like everything else." Her arms are falling around. She's being dramatic. Usually he'd laugh at her when she's like this, but he's having trouble finding the humor in it at that point.

"Well I mean, it must not have been that bad considering you almost married the guy."

She calmed down a bit, tells him seriously, "I told you it was different with us."

His voice is gravelly when he goes to talk, doesn't know why,"Ya.. you said it, but..."

"But what?"

"I was always your second choice."
He doesn't even know where that came from. He must have thought it, subconsciously at least, if it just came pouring out, but...

"You can't possibly think that."

He shrugs. "That first day we worked together, I was going to take you home, but you didn't want to complicate work. Which i understood, we didn't even know each other. But, then after everything that happened when I was under, Brenan tortured me, we got suspended, You went to north bay for 3 months. I needed you, but your job was more important." He's on a roll now, listing things off with his fingers, "Then the task force. I practically begged you to give me another chance, said I'd do anything to make it work and you chose to leave, further your career. And then there's Callaghan, you only came to me after things didnt work out."

"Our first day? Seriously? And you're telling me to let go of the blackout thing!"

She was right, that one was a little ridiculous. He didn't even think of it until just that moment. The rest though, they always bothered him, "It was an example"

"So what? Instead of talking to me about it you just decided that's how I felt. You know I hate that. You always do that. You think you know what I'm thinking and half the time it's way off."

"I think I know you pretty well Andy"

"Well great, good for you." She says sarcastically, "I don't really know you at all."

He tilts his head to the side, "If you don't know me, I don't know who does.."

"Oh, maybe Your girlfriend?"

He ignores the fact that she brought up Marlo.. again. "Just because you don't know stuff, doesn't mean you don't know me"

She doesn't say anything to that. Doesn't know what to do with that.

"I didn't want to put my issues on you, burden you with them"

"You're not a burden to me Sam" she tells him sincerely

"Andy, everything that happens to people, you take it on. You shoulder it as your own problem. It's part of what makes you a good cop, your empathy. But sometimes you know, I just wish you wouldn't... Feel everyone's, feelings."

"You were trying to protect me?" She asks pensively.

"That's part of it"

"That doesn't even make any sense, Sam"

He's got that sarcastic smile on his face,"I can't be the guy you need me to be." He points to his chest with both hands, "I'm a mess, right? You want me to open up, I can't do that. My feelings, are my feelings, not yours. You say you want to go through things with me, but I don't want you to have to."

She's frowning, she knows he's complicated, knows he takes on too much, but she just wishes he'd let things happen as they happen, "Whatever it is. Whatever happened that you don't want me to know about, I can handle it. Im not some little doll that needs to be protected. And it won't change how I feel about you."

"I'm not.. Good, for you."
And that- that's the most ridiculous nonsense she's ever heard him say, and he's said a lot of crap since she's met him. He really is the most amazing person she ever met. He cares so much about everyone- too much, almost. He'd do absolutely anything for the people he loves. He's smart, loyal and funny and he taught her so much. Not just about being a good cop, but about being a good person.
He makes her better, makes her want to be better. He believed in her so much that she started to believe in herself. He changed her life.
And ya, he's a little broken, but isn't everyone? She sure as hell was and he loved her in spite of that. He helped her fix herself, many times before, even if he didn't know it.
And even if, in the end, he broke her all over again.

"You don't get to decide who's good for me, Sam. If you don't want to be with me, it's because you don't want to be with me, not because you're not good enough."

"Andy..."
And she's heard this before- or not heard it- his silence.

"No it's ok, just don't. Alright. I'm just gunna..."
She gets up and walks away, not that she has very far to go, the place is tiny-
But she jus needed to not be there, so close to him.

"You know I meant it." He tells her, when she finally comes back to sit down.

She looks at him to elaborate, "What I said that night. Every word of it. I waited way too long to tell you.."

She's knows what he's talking about- what he said the night with the bomb- the most he ever said.. that mattered anyways.

"I know. I just really needed for you to tell me and not make a joke about it."

And he knows that greys anatomy thing was probably the stupidest thing he ever said in his life. He thinks about it all the time, if he hadn't said that. They'd probably have gotten back together. She wouldn't have left for so long, wouldn't have taken a part of him with her.
"That's uh, hard for me sometimes."

"I know that too." She smiles sadly
They both sighed

"Look sam, I know with everything that happened.. With jerry"
"No, Andy"

"Wait, just listen"

But he can't. He really can't deal with that whole thing at this point. The night has been emotionally taxing enough.
"Not right now, ok? I can't"

"I just mean you're eventually going to have to let someone in. Or it's gunna be one lonely life." And she doesn't mean her. She wishes it could be her, but if it can't be, she doesn't want him to end up alone. Nobody knowing who he really is, she couldn't bear the thought.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away."

"I'm sorry I left... Again."
They looked at each other for a long time after that, till he couldn't take it anymore, till had to look away.

He snorted and said, "No going back", sort of humourlessly shrugging his eyebrows.

"There really is no going back is there?"
When he said that to her, on that night, he in no way pictured this. He knew though, that they could never be what they were afterwards, but he never thought- he never thought they would ever have to figure that out. He never thought they'd be here-
"I don't know," he tells her honestly.

"I want to be your friend. I really do. I want you in my life, but... "

"But it's hard." He finishes for her.

"It hurts too much. Too much has happened."
And he gets it. Every time he sees her he feels like someone is standing on his chest.
It's worse for her though and they both know it, having to see him with Marlo; touching her, and smiling at her and just looking so god damn happy.

"I know. But just... I'm not ready for you to not be here."

"Ok"

"I need you to have my back. And I know I have no right to ask"
He knows its selfish, asking her to do that for him, be that for him.
But he really just-
he can't do it without her.

"Sam it's ok. Ill be here. Till you tell me to go."
He taps her foot with his, smiles.

Sam looks at his watch, grunts, "It's been hours. You'd think somebody would be looking for us by now."

"They probably think we killed each other" she jokes.

"Huh."

"I'm tired, I'm hungry and I have to pee."
She's being bratty, which is different. She grew up a lot, 6 month UC and all. He hasn't seen her act like that in a while-
Or maybe he just hasn't been around her enough to notice

"Isn't life just kicking your ass?" He teases her, and it feels like they jumped back a bunch of months, to when things were, easier.

"Shut up." She laughs then yawns.

He holds out his arm to her and tells her, "C'mere."
She looks apprehensive, which-
Duh.
But he insists, "McNally come on, it no big deal. We're adults."

She still doesn't budge.

"Unless you wanted to sleep on the ground. I personally don't find concrete flooring all that comfortable, but whatever works for you."

"Fine." She grumbles and she shimmies over to him.

"You say that like you're the one doing me a favour"

She giggles and snuggles under his shoulder. He doesn't plan on sleeping, he knows one of them has to stay awake, but it's just, the first time in like a year he's felt comfortable and-

So at some point while they were sleeping they managed to rearrange themselves.
And at some point in the night Nick and Oliver decided to go looking for them. Which leads to a pretty awkward situation when the two of them bust in the room to find Sam and Andy looking way too comfortable for exes with new people in their lives.

Nicks face drops when he sees them. Her head was on his chest and his left hand was over hers on his heart. His right hand rested on her hip and her right leg draped over his.

Oliver knocks his flashlight against the wall loudly and it startles them awake.
They scramble apart awkwardly and rise to their feet. Nick would find it almost funny if it wasn't so heartbreaking

Andy's smoothing out her hair, "you found us"

Sam follows up her obvious observational skills with a not so convincing, "Thank god"
And the fact that they both had long stints undercover is bewildering at that point.

"I was worried when you still hadn't come back after shift." Nick walks up to her and pulls her in for a hug.

Sam's never seen them like this. He's seen them hug and joke and laugh, but never romantically, and he doesn't like it. It brings back all of those feelings he used to get when he saw her with Luke. Only now, it's worse. Back then he didn't know what it was like to be the one in her embrace, to feel her arms around him, to be close.

Oliver's standing off the side with a shit eating grin on his face. Looks like he just won the lottery, "Alright Collins, looks like we found em! Safe and sound. Sound and safe. You owe me a sandwich, so hop to it! We'll meet you two back at the station, yeah?"

"Uhm, actually Sir, if its alright with you ill head back with McNally."
Oliver's ushering him out shaking his head. From what he saw, there was some real progress here, no way is he gonna Nick ruin that."What you gunna sit in the backseat, Collins? lets go. You. Owe. Me. Food."

"Rain check?" Nick asked him hopefully

Oliver looked at the group, decided not to make things more awkward. Wanted to get a word in with Sam anyways. Thinks the chances of him tucking and rolling are slim, so the ride back should be the perfect opportunity to corner him, "Yep sure. Sammy can come with me, but now it's a coffee too."

"Sure thing. Thank you, sir"

The group made there way out to the cars, thunder rattling, the sound of raindrops pounding against the ground and the faintest sound of Oliver happily mumbling a tune to himself...
I will go down with this ship,
I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
They're in love and always will be...