Well, now I feel a bit dozy. I told myself, frowning into the mirror.

My makeup was everywhere, my hair was greasy and my clothes were ratty. I couldn't go to work dressed like this. What kind of rag would I look like then? I'm not trying to be perfect, that's no perfection.

"Are you ready yet, Williamson?!" That stupid American girl, honestly. She's just a prefect, nothing bigger or better.

"Shut it, Martin, I've literally just got outta bed! You go whine to someone who would actually wanna listen!" I yelled, taking comfort in the fact that my boyfriend, who just so happened to be Canadian and nowhere near as annoying as Nina Martin and KT Rush, would be at school with me today.

I used to rely on my friend Joy Mercer to help me out with the two bossy prefects, but now she's joined the cheerleaders and their stupid girlish stunts.

Well, now I have a hate for her too and we usually just yell at each other.

It's a shame the headmaster divided the school. Anubis and Mut houses: Girls' wing. Isis and Hathor houses: Boys wing.

We got it hard. We have Vera Devenish and Victor Rodenmaar. The boys have it so good. They have Old Sweetie, the headmaster who is Eddie's dad and Trudy Rehman, the boys' housemother. She's a fantastic cook, warm and welcoming. She always smiles, I've never seen her upset, even during a massive food fight. She just laughs and joins in, then cleans up all the mess afterward.

We girls are basic sit-down-shut-up-eat-clean. Nothing else. We're sent to bed at ten, we have to make our beds, shower, clean our rooms, neatly fold our fresh pyjamas, never stretch our uniforms and we have to have our PE kits sorted out for our lessons.

Never mind our chores and our homework and our laundry and the fact that we end up tidying up our rooms and whatever mess we leave about.

Vera basically just cooks. She spends her day sat with Victor or she's calling her friends and hating on the boys' housemother just because she never maintains order, is always happy and she cleans up instead of making them tidy up after themselves.

I went down to breakfast to find the clumps of hard porridge in the bowl, the stale coffee, the spore-filled orange juice and the rotten, chunky milk.

I didn't even bother. I walked out and went round to the boys. Their house was filled with pancakes every morning, freshly squeezed out orange juice and toast with all manner of homemade jams. There was also always a fried breakfast.

Eddie answered the door.

"Morning, Yacker. Your house being poisoned again?" He asked, letting me hear that cheeky Canadian voice I could never get enough of.

"Yup. Spores in the orange, chunks in the milk, stale coffee and hard porridge. The usual. And them lot are gonna be ill, scoffing that muck." I told him. I never really whine for the breakfast there, it's more often offered.

Eddie gave me his usual cheeky grin. "I'm sure Trudy will fix something up for a very special guest."

He took me in. I was such a regular guest there, the guys didn't even bother to look up. The housemother did, as always, with her usual beaming smile and hug.

"Hello, sweetheart! I take it you're not eating the poison over at the girls' houses?" She asked, tutting a bit at the thought. "If only I had you all over here. You'd be fed. And what would you like?"

See? This is why I like it here.

Eddie spoke up. "She'll just have her usual, hmm, Yacker?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice, thanks, Trudy." I agreed. She patted a seat and went into her kitchen. Eddie and I sat down. I loved the boys' wing. The house was so cheerful, but not pep squad cheerful. More like pictures and nicely decorated walls.

I was served a really awesome breakfast and a big grin. I set to eating, I was starving. I usually only ate breakfast, unless Eddie invited me over for supper. I was spoiled when that happened.

I was the only girl who had these special privileges, being the girlfriend of the headmaster's son.

He let me have a proper laugh, gave me chocolates and nobody really minded when I left a chocolate wrapper. It was all good fun when they were balled up and chucked at each other. Kind of like spaghetti nights. The food got chucked about then.

Anything edible got lobbed at someone's head, more often than not. The times I joined in on that fun, the housemother washed my clothes for me. I owe her so much.

Eddie said "Hey, Yackball, we're going to the pool on Saturday. Wanna come? All guys and one woman, but if it makes you feel better, you can come too, save your brain some homework?"

"Thanks, Slimeball. I'll take you up on that." I agreed, smiling, tossing my newly chestnut curls.

We went off to school, enjoying each other's company. We spent our lunch break in Isis and Hathor house, where we were given an amazing lunch of turkey and cheese salad with homemade crisps. I loved that woman's cooking.

I didn't eat my supper, I only looked. There was rotten veg, you could tell by all the brown bits and the difficulty of shoving the fork through it. There was tough and old meat that you couldn't cut through with a chainsaw. There was year old gravy that looked like Tudor slime from the Thames.

Yuck. I didn't eat it, I escaped. I curled in my room and Skyped Eddie.

"Yacker! I take it you weren't fed?" He asked, grinning.

"We were, something Vera had fished out of the Tudor Thames. The others scoffed the lot, but yuck. I never would. And I dunno what you're grinning at, it's OK for you. You've got a brilliant chef in that house. And what did you guys get?"

"We had some special dish that's been passed down in Trudy's family for centuries. It tastes so good, she's known that recipe for years. She even spared some for you, knowing how much you love her food."

"Aw, sweet. Tell her thanks. And anyway, those girls are being even more sour than Vera's food, which is saying something. They're calling me all kinds when nobody's looking. That Nina, she's always calling everyone a really mean word, but I can't say it."

I made my voice sound all childlike to match my words. I never cursed, despite what the others did.

"Aw, you poor thing. I should get Dad to let you move in over here. I bet you'd be really welcome here." Eddie offered.

"Please?" I asked softly.

Eddie's face softened. "You really hate it there, don't you?"

"Yeah. It's awful here." I said, my tone gentle.

"Patricia Williamson!" A voice bellowed and I jumped a mile.

"Gotta go, Cockroach. I'll text you later." I said softly.

"See you, Blabs." Eddie said and hung up. I went to the source of that cruel voice.

It was Amber Millington, school's head cheerleader and the worst nightmare known to the human race.

"Are you still going out with the Eddie Miller?" She asked.

"Yeah, and since when is it your business, Barbara?" I asked, using the name of the Barbie dolls.

"Just because he is the best-looking guy in school and he can do way better than some fat girl who looks far too old for someone like him."

I just walked off. She's not worth the waste of my time. If I'd had some water, I would have drenched that brat so well, her hair would have been frizzy for a week. She's a nightmare.

I heard a twang and something hit me in the head and all went dark...