Disclaimer: All recognizable The Killing characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners including, but not limited to AMC. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fan fiction story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No financial gain is associated with the publishing of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Missing scenes from "Try" (3x8) and "Reckoning" (3x9). I began this piece after "Try," but then I saw "Reckoning" and realized that they are both emotional episodes that left both Linden and Holder vulnerable to one another—a sight to behold. Chapter breaks will likely coincide with episodes. Obvious spoilers if you haven't seen the episodes yet. May continue depending on how the final episodes of the season go. Enjoy! –DKC

Needing Holder

Detective Holder continued rubbing Linden's back and shoulder as tears streamed down her usually stoic face. The adrenaline finally made Sarah Linden crack. Holder wished he could put a wall between them and the prying eyes. Shouldn't being taken by an unstable man grant a person that?

"Come here," Holder held his hand out to help Linden to her feet.

Leading Linden by the small of her back, he took her to a waiting squad car. Helping her into the back seat, Holder climbed in next to her, leaving the door open.

"Reddick! Make your ass useful," Holder demanded.

The usually crass Detective Reddick stood near the open car door, but out of hearing distance. His back to the car, he was effectively shielding the two detectives from the prying eyes that had been on them as they sat on the pier.

"Linden," Holder whispered.

Appreciating the semi-private backseat, Sarah Linden turned into her partner and let go. Her sobs shook her body and her tears soaked the front of Holder's sweatshirt. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight as she fell apart. Between the adrenaline that had built throughout the ordeal and the dissipation of fear, Linden's emotions were haywire.

Linden leaned back, attempting to pull herself together. She wiped furiously at her tears. Holder kept his hands on her hips.

"You called me Sarah," she said.

"Huh?" Holder questioned.

"Back there," she gestured to the pier.

"You were shielding him, Linden. I didn't want you to get hurt."

"I didn't want you to shoot him."

"When are you going to worry about yourself?" Holder's voice was that of concern and slight frustration.

Linden leaned forward, resting her forehead against Holder's chest. Her lack of response was an answer in itself. He knew that this is who his partner was. She was reckless with her own life in an attempt to save the lives of others. For the sake of justice, there was nothing Linden wouldn't do.

"I'm going to get an officer to drive you home," Holder told his broken partner.

"Home," Linden chuckled softly thinking about how she hadn't had a real home in years, just a series of temporary living arrangements, most of them hotels.

…

Holder had arrived at Linden's hotel room with Chinese takeout and a listening ear. They spoke frankly about Linden losing Jack as well as Holder stealing from his nephew while he was abusing drugs. It was a breakthrough for them. Unfortunately, Linden's walls were going back up and their discussion quickly turned to the Seward case. Holder offered her "a fresh pair of eyes" and she reluctantly accepted.

"Want me to get out of here so you can catch some sleep?" Holder asked.

"I don't know that I'll be able to sleep," Linden admitted.

"You should try," Holder suggested.

Linden rubbed her eyes, looking away from Holder.

"I could stay," Holder offered.

"Shouldn't you be getting home to…"

"We're ain't exactly bone…" Holder was cut off by Linden, just as he had cut her off.

"I don't need to hear that."

There was silence between them as Holder's lanky frame hovered over a seated Linden. He locked his hands behind his head and looked to the ceiling.

"Maybe if you remembered Valentine's Day," Linden offered a slight smirk when he looked down at her.

"Oh, snap!" Holder ostentatiously responded.

Linden simply smiled at Holder as she stood up and stretched her back. Sitting in that car with Pastor Mike for as long as she did had taken a toll on her body.

"You and I aren't easy people to be with," Linden reflected, not making eye contact with Holder.

"Speak for yourself, Linden," Holder attempted a sardonic smile.

"Hey, at least I know when Valentine's Day is," Linden purposely knocked her shoulder into Holder's ribcage as she walked past him.

"I'm sure Mr. Sonoma could tell me plenty of times you forgot things," Holder charged, turning his body in the direction Linden moved.

The charge was true, Linden knew, but it didn't make it sting any less. She stopped, her back to Holder. She felt a surge of emotions flow through her body. It took her back to her lying to Pastor Mike about Jack and why he was in Chicago with his dad.

"Damn, I'm sorry, Linden," Holder placed his hand on her shoulder.

Holder didn't think through what he was saying, something that plagued him often. His mouth moved faster than his brain. He didn't mean to hurt Linden and he knew that what he had said did hurt her. He gripped her shoulder tighter and then turned her toward him.

"Linden," Holder whispered.

"You're right," Linden answered, revealing nothing of the emotional turmoil she was wading through.

"I didn't…" Holder began.

"I am hard to be with," Linden stopped him.

"Linden," Holder gripped both of her biceps, his eyes boring into hers.

"We do just fine," there was boastfulness in Holder's voice that was reassuring to Linden.

A slight smile appeared on Linden's face. It was followed by a look Holder couldn't decipher. He continued to look at her. The depth of feeling in Linden's eyes was paralyzing for Holder. Whatever Linden's intentions with that look, Holder found himself contemplating the softness of his partner's lips. He knew in her vulnerable state it would be a terrible idea to kiss her, yet he found himself leaning into her regardless.

"Holder…" Linden whispered in a shallow voice.

Before Holder could decide if Linden's tone was telling him not to, he felt Linden's lips push into his. She was on her tiptoes as he continued to grip her biceps. The kiss was simple, soft even. It was over before Holder could respond.

"Linden…" Holder growled.

He released her arms and placed his hands behind her neck, pulling her mouth back to his. He kissed her hard and she whimpered in response.

"This is a bad idea," Holder huffed as their mouths detached for air.

"Yes," Linden whispered.

The small detective pressed her cheek against Holder's chest as they both caught their breath and caught hold of their emotions. Both knew that it was a terrible idea, but there was a longing that couldn't be denied.

"I should get back to the station," Holder said.

"Yeah," Linden agreed, but didn't move.

"You really should try getting some sleep," Holder pressed.

Linden leaned back and immediately missed Holder's arms around her as they dropped to his sides. They stood there, eyes locked and not a word between them.

"Call Jack," Holder suggested.

"It's probably too late," Linden said as she glanced at the clock.

"Take a chance on the little man," Holder moved for the door.

Linden watched him open the door and just as he was about to walk out he turned to her. The look on his face was one she saw too often in situations like this—concern. He knew how fragile her psyche was. Only he knew how close she'd come to breaking in similar times. However, she trusted him because he let her in that night on the bridge and showed her the fragile side of himself.

"Call me if you need me, Linden," Holder smiled at his partner and closed the door.

Need. Somewhere along this crazy road that began during the Rosie Larson case Linden started needing Holder. She couldn't even pinpoint when, but she knew it wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. She needed Holder.

To be continued…