A/N- So, this is a rewrite of my story, 'Bridge to Life', which was the first Vocaloid fanfiction I ever wrote and was originally posted almost exactly a year ago. I decided to write it again, keeping most the original plot and characters, to see how much I've improved in the last year. You don't need to have read to original to read this (in fact, I'd prefer if you didn't as it's rather awful...) and I hope you'll enjoy reading this~!
Despite what others might try to say, there are two types of people in the world- the ones who live long and happy lives, and the ones that are cut short.
Maybe I could have lived a long, semi-happy life with some faceless husband, had a few kids, gotten some dull 9-to-5 job; been the very definition of 'normal'. There was certainly nothing wrong with me physically that would have inhibited this normalcy, but mentally, I was a mess. I had become depressed over my lack of friends and life in general back in the seventh grade- dragging myself to school, to home, to school, to home... It seemed like a dull and endless cycle. My usually above-par grades dropped drastically, and my parents shrugging it off as me being 'just a moody teenager' didn't help, either.
So I had turned to blades- my arms now were laced with scars and cuts, lacing over each other like some bizarre tattoo. It was a miracle I hadn't died before that, I suppose, but I never cut with the aim of killing myself.
Because somehow, stupidly, I had led myself to believe that my life would get better if I just waited through it long enough. I was a damn idiot.
It was when I was in seventh grade, when I had finally given up on the chance of anything ever getting any better. I decided with silent resolve what I was going to do- I was going to kill myself.
And although maybe that might have sounded like a terrible realization to some, to me it was simply a fact- 'the sky is blue, the trees are green, Rin Kagamine is suicidal.' I continued to drag myself through my school-home-school-home-school cycle for a few more weeks, deciding to time my upcoming demise on my birthday.
Call me a hopeless romantic, but there was something about taking myself out of the world on the same day I had been brought into it that seemed right, somehow. I spent a long time deciding how, exactly, I was going to off myself- slitting wrists seemed too overdone, overdose of any kind could be seen as an accident, and a gun to put a bullet through my skull would be too hard to get.
So, I settled on a bridge. If I was lucky they'd never even find my body, and my entire existence would be erased completely. Again, maybe I was just being a romantic, but this idea appealed to me as well- vanishing completely, nobody sure where you went or if you're alive or when you'll be back. (Of course, I would never be back, but they didn't need to know that)
As my birthday drew near, an insane sort of happiness washed over me. Even as I was beat on by bullies or put in detention for failing five classes, I felt a sick sort of pleasure at knowing it would all be over soon. It would just take one step, and everything would be over...
Time moved strangely in leaps and bounds, moving slowly for a few days before suddenly speeding up and before I knew it, it was December 27th and I was walking down the street in the direction of a large bridge somewhat close to my house.I was wearing a cute outfit I had received as a birthday present that morning, and my mind was so filled with emotions that I wasn't sure which ones I should try to sort out, and which ones I should leave to die with me.
I walked towards the middle of the bridge in a dreamlike state, feeling every emotion from relief to nervousness- but no fear. I wasn't scared of death; I was ready for it to welcome me, as I was sure it unquestioningly would. There was a bit of wind, playing through my hair like gently reassuring hands that had come a few months too late.
I looked over the edge, the water below flowing smoothly, without the ability to realize that I would soon be falling into its depths. How far down was it- a hundred feet? fifty? three hundred? I supposed it didn't much matter, so long as it was obvious the fall would be fatal.
I sat on the railing, pausing for only a moment before swinging my legs over the edge and into open space. I found it to be even more exhilarating than I had anticipated, the feeling of (quite literally) sitting on the line between life and death. I took a deep breath to calm myself- I wasn't scared, exactly, but I wasn't relaxed either. I'm not scared, I'm not scared... I thought to myself, trying to put a weak smile on my face and failing miserably.
I had begun to shift my weight forward, and was closer to death than to life, when I felt a hand clamp firmly onto my shoulder. I whirled around, frustrated that even in this last moment, there had to be someone between me and finally achieving happiness.
There was a boy standing there, arm extended to rest on my shoulder. His eyes looked haunted and scared, as though somehow me offing myself would offend him personally. His eyes, I noticed upon a second quick glance, looked oddly familiar. (I figured that as long as this boy wanted to humor himself by trying to stop me, I could wait a few minuted more)
"W-why?" I had never seen this boy before, I was sure of it- yet there was something that made him seem familiar, regardless. "Why would you do this? Has it really gotten that bad, Rin?" I wasn't sure how he knew my name or why he seemed to care about me, but I'd had enough of it and tried to wrench my shoulder from his grip, sending me teetering over the edge. FInally...
The sensation of relief didn't last for more than a second, though, because a grip on my arm jerked me to a midair stop a half-second later. I looked up, angry tears forming, to see the blonde boy had managed to grab my hand at the last possible second.
"Let me go!" I screamed, kicking and writhing to escape. It was so close- just below me, yet I was still being held back. "I gave up! Stop trying to stop me!" the screaming was so loud and desperate that it hurt my throat, the fingers holding me up hurt my wrist, and the feeling of still being stopped hurt my very soul.
"No." the boy then did the unthinkable- he started trying to pull me up. It was slow going, as I was still fighting tooth and nail, but eventually he pulled me back over onto the safe side of the railing. "I won't let you go." When it became clear that I wasn't going to immediately try to jump again, the blonde boy removed his hand from my arm.
Unable to hold myself upright after my (intentional) near-death experience, I slumped to the sidewalk in a pathetic heap. The boy knelt beside me, and did the single last thing i could even expect to happen in this kind of situation- he hugged me. Wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, holding me like he never planned on letting go.
"W-why? Why would you stop me?" I asked, still angry about the fact that I was still alive. "I want to die. You didn't do me a favor. You don't even know me." I tried to push him away, but his grip held firm.
"Of course I do. Rin-" I looked up after a moment, still not sure if I could trust him just yet, "-If you think I don't know you, how would I have known that you would be here today? How would I know that it's your birthday and you've always been lonely and not had friends and that your blood type is B-positive and your favorite color is yellow but you also like orange, you were adopted at age two and a half, a-and..." my eyes widened, as every fact this stranger had said was completely true.
"Y-you... Who are you? Who the hell are you and why do you know that stuff about me?" I successfully pushed him away this time, hugging my arms around myself protectively. I'd been told from the time I was a young child not to trust strangers- so why should I trust this one, who seemed to be more like a deranged stalker than anything else?
"I'm Len. It's my birthday today. I was adopted at age two and a half, and separated from my twin sister." It took me a moment to let this soak in- there was no way it was true. Not after everything that had happened in my life. I was far to unfortunate to possibly have some long-lost twin who looked so hard to find me and knew everything about me.
"N-no... You're lying. You're crazy. That's impossible..." I mumbled. "No... And even if it's true, why couldn't you just let me die? It's... It's not like you should care. Nobody would." This time when the boy- Len- wrapped his arms around me, there was a whole new reason behind the embrace.
"Don't say nobody would care. After all of the time I've spent looking for you... Wanting, no- needing to find you... Don't say there's nobody that would care. Because I would, at the very least, and that counts for something- right?" The expression in his eyes seemed broken, as though he truly did care that I had been so close to death, even though I still thought it to be impossible.
"Please, Rin... Just promise me you won't try this again. Just give life a chance, alright? Give me a chance."
A/N- Hope you liked it... Or liked it more than the original, at the very least ^^ And remember, reviews are author food, so don't make me starve, mkay~?