Rose's P.O.V

Love fades. Mine has

My face must have shown how deeply those words affected me. For an instant it almost seemed as though he regretted the words he so carelessly threw at me, but just as quickly the stoic mask I was so accustomed to was slammed back in place. Of all the things I had expected to hear from him today, this had never crossed my mind. Dimitri had stopped denying that he wanted me a long time ago. Even as a strigoi, he never denied that he wanted me. I knew that he hadn't loved me then, but I had assumed that his love would return with his soul. The only logical explanation that I could think of was that maybe it was never really there to begin with.

I took an involuntary step backward, the weight of my realization hitting me like a stake to the heart. He didn't love me. He was letting me go. Everything I had done to save his soul, everything I had risked to restore him and he was choosing to walk away from me. It was almost too much to take and I was forced to sit down again.

My eyes were cast downward, but I could still feel the intensity of his eyes on me. "You never really loved me, did you?" I hated the tremor I heard in my voice and the intense burning behind my eyes, begging me to allow the tears to fall. It would be a cold day in hell the day I let that happen.

He sucked in a breath of shock. "Roza…" He began, but I never let him finish his statement. How dare he use that name with me, only seconds after telling me that he doesn't love me.

I stood up abruptly, unable to hear him explain how his love hadn't been real. How his experience made him realize that it had been lust he felt, not love. I used that anger to push aside the pain and to summon the courage to look up at him. The regret and pain I saw in his eyes wasn't imagined this time, I could feel it radiating off of him. "Of course, you didn't. I was just the stupid, reckless teenage novice that you had unlimited access to." I spat, the words tasting like venom on my tongue. "I just wish you would have had this grand realization before we slept together."

This caused a couple of heads to turn our way and his guardians to stiffen at the implication of what occurred between us while I was a student at St. Vladimir. Dimitri looked mortified at the attention we were beginning to gain in the church. Good. I couldn't be the only one humiliated here.

"Don't say that and keep your voice down. We're in a church!" He hissed between his teeth.

For a moment, it almost felt like we were back at the academy and he was once again my mentor instructing me on the importance of proper guardian etiquette. But, those days were long gone and they would only exist in my memories. Never again would we have that relationship again. At the time, I hated our role as mentor and student because of the obstacles it had placed in the way of our love, but looking at the growing distance currently between us, I yearned for the days of our old, comfortable relationship.

I sighed in resignation. "You don't have to worry. I'm not going bother you anymore," I murmur low enough for only him to hear.

"Good. It's for the best."

"I just need you to know that I do forgive you, Dimitri. From the bottom of my heart, I forgive you for everything that happened in Russia."

He froze for a moment as the implication of my words sunk in. This was not an apology tied to the condition that he return to me, this was an apology freely given. I had genuinely forgiven him for what happened between us in Russia and it mattered to me that he understood that. Even... even though he had relinquished our love, I wanted him to find peace. Because he still mattered to me, despite everything, he still mattered.

"I did love you Rose, I really did," He hesitated at first, like those words had cost him greatly.

I gave him a watery smile. "Then your love must have been a very fragile thing," I turned with as much grace as I could muster and walked calmly out of the church.

I continued walking until I was safely out of the church's view, not that I believed he would be watching me, but I feared others would after the scene I had made. As soon as I was sure that I was free of any curious eyes, I ran to my suit in palace housing as quickly as possible before anyone could see the notorious Rose Hathaway cry. I slammed the door behind me with enough force to rattle the window and released the scream that had been bubbling inside my throat since the church. I grabbed a pillow from my bed and continued to scream into it. I screamed and screamed until my throat felt raw and still this all-consuming sense of betrayal sat in my chest, ripping at my heart.

"True love doesn't fade," I dash angrily at the tears leaking from my eyes. I wasn't about to cry over this asshole.

I already felt so stupid. After everything I had done, everything I had sacrificed. It had all been for nothing. No, I thought to myself. It hadn't been for nothing, I had restored a man's soul to him, given him back his life. I knew with every rational part of my mind that that was true, but as I stood alone in my room with nothing but a ruined reputation, no prospects of ever guarding Lissa and no Dimitri at my side, it sure felt like nothing.

They come first. That was the most sacred guardian motto and one that I had kept faithfully for most of my life. Until I fell in love with Dimitri Belikov. Who in their right mind would ever let me guard the last Dragomir? I had proven that I couldn't put her first when I had chosen to save his soul instead of training to keep her safe. I chose him because a love like ours was worth fighting for. At least, it had been.

I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has.

"Well fuck you Guardian Belikov!"

For a moment I wished I had him standing in front of me, so that I could claw his eyes out. Those stupid, beautiful brown eyes. I wanted to hurt him for everything he had just said, I wanted to scream every obscenity that I could until I was sure he knew how much I hated him in that moment. I should go back to that church and give him a reason to pray for forgiveness.

I knew I couldn't do that, mostly because I was sure that he had already left the church. I was going to need to find another outlet for my emotions and I knew exactly where to find it.

I made my way to the gym not giving a second thought to the fact that I was wearing jeans and sweater. My hands weren't wrapped, but I was use to bloody knuckles. Without hesitation, I strode to the punching bag with purpose and unleashed my anger out on it. I punched, kicked, jabbed with all my strength to rid myself of this anger that was consuming every one of my rational thoughts. I could taste my anger, feel the frustration lodged in my throat it was so dark that it felt animalistic. My hands were bleeding now, but that's okay. At least that way I'll be able to focus on the physical pain later instead of the emotional one.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed that all the guardians had stopped to watch me, worry written on some of their faces, but one face stood out the most. Alberta. I ignored her and kept up my punching. I wished one of them would try and stop me.

"Should we stop her before she hurts herself?" One guardian asked.

"I'm not getting in the middle of Hathaway and a punching bag when she's that angry," Another remarked.

Alberta shook her head. "I've seen her like this before and only one person can get to her. I'm getting Belikov." She took off in a run towards the exit.

Most nodded in agreement since that fact that he was once my mentor was a well-known fact. I wasn't worried though, I knew he wouldn't come.

Alberta's P.O.V.

I sprinted to find Dimitri before Rose did something worse than just scrape up her knuckles. The last time I had seen her like this had been at St. Vladimir's when she almost killed Jesse Zeklos for torturing Princess Lissa. She had a crazed look in her eye that said she wanted blood and she would do anything to get it. Now she had the same look in her eye, only she was hurting herself not others. Belikov had taken care of her then and hopefully he could do the same now. Rose had been entrusted to my care since she was five years old and the habit of wanting to look out for that crazy girl was a deeply ingrained one.

I pounded on the door of Belikov's room, pushing the guardian who stood watch aside. A glare from me silenced any protests he might have had, especially once he realized who I was. Belikov answered the door with a bit of confusion, but happiness soon brightened his face once he registered who it was. He obviously didn't get visits often.

"Hello, Guardian Petrov," He said, with a small, but genuine smile. "I wasn't expecting any visitors, but please come in. " He opened the door wider so I could step inside.

I turned to face him and was a bit taken aback. He looked so different. Sadder, more reserved if that was even possible. I couldn't even begin to imagine what his time as a Strigoi had done to him.

"Belikov, I need you. It's Rose," I explained, expecting him to jump into action like he always did whenever Rose was involved. Instead it wiped the smile from his face and filled his eyes with pain. "She's going crazy."

"I don't see how that involves me," He turned away from me, his entire body stiffening. "Get another person to handle it. You could probably find Ivashkov in a bar somewhere." The bitter tone in his voice, clearly evident.

I stared at him in stunned silence, at loss for words. "You're her mentor, don't you want to help?"

"I use to be her mentor. We've gone our separate ways."

Now I was really confused. "I thought you loved each other?" I meant it to sound like a question, but it came out as more of an accusation. He turned to look at me again. It was his turn to look surprised which amused me. "Come on Belikov, you really think Victor Dashkov is the only person who figured it out?"

"How did you know?" He asked. "We were so careful."

I shook my head at how deliberately obtuse he was being. "Physically yes you were, but emotionally not so much. She brought joy to your life and you brought balance to hers. It was easy to see how well you completed each other. I always had my suspicions, but when she dropped out of school to hunt you, I knew you were more to her than a mentor."

He had his old stoic expression firmly in place. "Everything we had together died right beside the old me in those caves. Whatever love I once felt for her has faded and I told her so."

Suddenly I knew what had sparked the rage in Rose. Belikov had ripped her heart out. I knew for a fact that her love had definitely not faded and most likely never will. You didn't risk all that she risked for a teenage crush.

"You are many things Belikov, but I never thought a fool was one of them. That girl loves you. She gave up everything for you. The least you could do is stop her from ruining whatever future she has left or from seriously hurting herself or someone else like when she almost killed Jesse. "

That seemed to trigger something inside of him as he seemed to come to life. "What do you mean like when she almost killed Jesse?"

"She's like some rapid animal in the gym right now with a crazed look in her eye. I doubt anyone can reason with her," I step forward determined to get though that thick skull of his. "I can't say that I understand why she gets like this, but I have no doubt that she has explained it to you. You understand her better than anyone and if there is even a small part of you that still cares about her, you'll help her."

There was some sort of internal war battling inside of his mind, but I knew which side had won when he turned and sprinted from the room. His guards turned to chase after him, but I held my hand out to stop them.

"Don't move. That's an order!" They stopped, but looked like they would protest Dimitri leaving without a guard. "I'll watch him." I ran after him, which was difficult when he was a man on a mission

When I got back to the gym I was out of breath, but I noticed Dimitri struggling with Rose. Everyone was watching them now. He arms were locked around her from behind and he had her in a solid grip.

"No, Roza. Fight it. You're stronger than this. Please! This isn't you, " The words seemed to trigger something in Rose. Her eyes welled up with tears and suddenly she broke free of Belikov's grip. I had to admit it was seriously impressive, but not nearly as impressive as the well-aimed punch she threw at his face.