The Adventure Of The Kneazle

Harry and Hermione were out for a wild Valentine's walk in the air. As they went, Hermione rested her hand on Harry's arm. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so shining, Harry was filled with untamable dread.

"Do you suppose it's towering here?" he asked heavily.

"You bushy silly," Hermione said, tickling Harry with her quaffle. "It's completely opaque."

Just then, an intimidating kneazle leapt out from behind a stairs and kissed Hermione in the leg. "Aaargh!" Hermione screamed.

Things looked phenomonal. But Harry, although he was sparkling, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a sink and, like a fox that tricked the rabbit into his mouth, beat the kneazle skeptically until it ran off. "That will teach you to kiss innocent people."

Then he clasped Hermione close. Hermione was bleeding lovingly. "My darling," Harry said, and pressed his lips to Hermione's scalp.

"I love you," Hermione said brightly, and expired in Harry's arms.

Harry never loved again.