Important: Time for the pulse-pounding conclusion of the main plot of this really bizarre Naruto fic!

Eventually, though, there will be a bonus chapter listed as a separate fic, because there was one important issue aside from the peanut butter incident that we haven't addressed yet!

By the way, I have a project, paper, and exam this Tuesday, followed by Thanksgiving break, and then two weeks before finals begin. If you don't see anything new from me, it's because I'm trying hard not to punch either my computer or scream at my classmates. My anger management issues are far worse than Tenten's.

I do not own Naruto. The peanut butter incident remains a mystery...

"Why not?" Lee whined, his tone like nails on the chalkboard in Tenten's brain.

She sliced clean through the apple that she had been peeling. Unintentionally. Only years of training with knives kept her from slicing her fingers off as well. "Because, Lee" she ground out between her teeth.

Neji, sensing that the bed next to Lee's was no longer a safe place to be, politely and quickly asked the nurse to help him into a wheelchair. She complied immediately, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire herself. (Some people would call it unprofessional, leaving a patient in a room when a visitor seemed like she was going to strangle him, but the nurse had a feeling that the young man would be fine. More or less, it was property damage that was the main concern, and as the hospital staff had learned, having someone else present wouldn't help much anyway when one of the green beasts was concerned.)

"But, Tenten," he pouted as Neji and the nurse made their escape.

Tenten nearly popped a blood vessel because, regardless of how adorable Lee looked and how much she wanted to kiss him, she was furious enough that she didn't get caught up in her affections for him. All of this over a stupid imposter necklace.

"I. Said. No." She hissed, and this time Lee seemed to get the message, if his sudden nervous look was any indication.

Tenten took a steadying breath and tried to relax her muscles. They had already done the 'how could you be so stupid' and 'thank you so much for saving my life' spiel, so now they were reduced to Lee arguing that he wanted to go stretch his legs. The first time she had agreed (against every ounce of screaming better judgment she had in her body) since he hadn't actually been too badly injured. (Neji had actually taken the brunt of the surprise attack (and even that wasn't too bad). The even bigger surprise was that he seemed perfectly okay with that, mentioning something about not having to deal with heroic antics and it was fine since he was still alive so that Sereva could kill him later.) He had started doing hard exercise and earned himself an additional week in the hospital. He hadn't injured himself training, but Lady Hokage had been having yet another bad day. The bandages on his chest were testament to that fact.

She practically glared at the green sweatpants (seriously, they came in that color?) and crutches lying within reaching distance of the injured shinobi.

Finally calm enough to continue peeling the apple (slices), she gave him a dry smile. "Just be grateful I haven't told your parents."

He looked guilty for a moment before responding. "Thanks. I don't think they would approve of my career choice if they found out how often I end up in the hospital."

Tenten was about to reassure him when a voice behind her blew her plans out of the water.

"You're certainly right about that." The voice was gruff and unfamiliar. The face, however, was slightly familiar around the jaw and ears.

"Dad?" Lee said, seeming to shrink into his hospital bed.

Tenten nearly gave herself whiplash looking between the two. "You're Lee's father?" She asked, sounding ever so slightly awed and afraid all in one.

He barely spared her a look, and then did a double take. He seemed surprised to see her, though why that was Tenten couldn't imagine.

"Would you please give us a minute?"

Tenten glanced at Lee, who nodded. She got up and exited the room, but she didn't travel any further than out of sight. She had a feeling something not so pleasant was about to happen. If it turned out to be a touching father-son moment, she could always make herself scarce, but she wanted to be able to support Lee if he needed it.

After a moment, the father returned his full attention to his son. "Your mother and I were worried something like this would happen. Lee, maybe you should come home after all. Permanently," he added when his son's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Said eyebrows nearly jumped into his hair.

"But, Dad!"

"This is not up for discussion, Lee. You may be a young man, now, but you're still our son. Once your cousin realized you were here, we had a way to keep an eye on you, but by then you were already a genin, so we respected your wishes, but I just had a very interesting conversation with the receptionist. About your back surgery. Lee, you can't keep doing this to yourself. And I'm not going to let you. As soon as you're feeling better, you need to give Lady Hokage your resignation."

Tenten heard it, but she couldn't believe it. Lee, resigning?

She knew it would be good for him. Lee was a great shinobi, there was no doubt about it. At the same time, though, it was especially dangerous for him to go on missions.

Yet Tenten couldn't see how making him give up on his dreams could be much better for him. If he was going to die on one of his missions, at least he would die happier than he would at a job in his home village and giving up on his passion.

"You can't do that," she said, walking back into the room without even thinking about it. As a shinobi, doing something without thinking it through was a bad habit with few exceptions (coughNarutocough). But as Lee's friend, defending him had become second nature.

"Excuse me?" His father turned to face her. "This is a private conversation."

She held her ground. "Lee is my teammate. If you're trying to get him to retire, it concerns me as well." For a brief moment she glanced at Lee, who looked surprised to say the least.

The Rock narrowed his eyes, but Tenten refused to back down, even under the glare of a man who looked even stronger than Gai sensei. "This isn't your business," he replied, his voice firm and commanding.

"It is my business," she said, crossing her arms stubbornly. "Lee is my precious teammate. I rely on him to watch my back and keep me from getting hurt. He's brave and loyal, and extremely protective. No matter what, he's willing to help people in need. And yes, this gets him hurt, and yes he does make stupid decisions. He may be hyperactive and naïve and just plain ridiculous at times," as the speech went on, both Lee and his father began to sweatdrop more and more, unsure of where this was going, "But I love and respect him anyway, because he has never given up, and never changed those parts of him, and has still grown as a person." Lee went from confused to blushing in less than a moment, but Tenten was still giving his father her full attention (which was fortunate, because if she had noticed she might have faltered and not finished her speech.) "He is, without a doubt, one of the best shinobi I know. Losing him would be not only a huge loss for me, but for the entire village, and I'm not going to just stand by and watch it happen."

Now finished, she placed her hands on her hips and waited for a response. The still blushing Lee exchanged a glance with his still confused father, and then both looked back at the girl.

It was around this time that Tenten noticed that Lee was blushing in a rather adorable way, though she would never admit that, because she had decided sometime while helping her friends back to the Hidden Leaf that she was going to back off. She had already been to visit Sakura and Sai, who were thankfully clothed this time, and straightened out the mess. She and Sakura were still friends, and Sai… well Sai hadn't been much of a friend before, so really they went back to being acquaintances, she supposed.

Still, Lee now knew that the two were dating. From what Sakura had said, Lee seemed to have given up himself. While that meant Tenten now stood a chance, she not only didn't want to be a rebound girl, but she figured Lee wouldn't even be interested at the moment. If she asked him on a date (there was nothing wrong with being forward. She was a kunoichi after all) she knew he would say yes, because he was sweet and wouldn't want to upset her, but there was no way he could be emotionally invested at this point.

So she would wait, like she had with Neji. This time though, she was going to make a move before it was too late.

Speaking of too late, both of the Rocks were taking an awfully long time to answer. She didn't think it should be so complicated. After all, it wasn't as though she had sad anything spectacular or mind blowing. She had just been stating simple truths about how she viewed Lee and…

Holy shit no.

Sereva was right. A little spiel really was the best way to expose her deepest (not so) darkest secrets. She really needed to learn when to keep her mouth shut.

She was sure her face was as brilliantly red as Lee's by this point, so she thought she might as well save any scraps of dignity she had left. She coughed into her hand and mumbled, "Excuse me," before beating a hasty retreat out of the room and then out of the hospital altogether.

It took a few moments before Lee actually moved. He started to scramble out of bed before his father turned back for him. "What are you doing?" he asked as his son grabbed the pair of green sweatpants next to his bed, pulling them on underneath his hospital gown before removing the flimsy cloth.

"I am going after her," he muttered, grabbing the crutches that the nurse was supposed to confiscate before she fled with Neji.

"Son-"

"No," Lee cut him off, his tone adamant.

His father scowled. "Lee, don't be foolish."

Lee was already at the door by the time he turned around. "It would be more foolish to stop when I have already come so far, even if I still have a long way to go. If you and Mom cannot accept that, perhaps it would be best if you returned to the way things were before." Finished with the conversation, and heartbroken at having his parents reject his choice and having in turn to reject them, Lee moved as quickly as he could, hoping to catch up with his teammate… er… more than teammate?

Tenten leaned back against the tree before sliding down to the ground. She then proceeded to hit the back of her head against the tree. Repeatedly. She didn't think that could have gone any worse.

She opened her eyes and, oh look, Lee was hobbling toward her. Apparently, things can always get worse. Had the peanut butter incident taught her nothing?

She scrambled to her feet, but even on crutches Lee was too quick for her. He had her cornered before she could even decide which direction offered her the best chance of escape. "Tenten," he said, angling himself so that if she wanted to get away she would have to knock him over. If Tenten was able to predict Lee's actions, Lee was able to do the same for her, and was confident that she wouldn't risk hurting him further. Even if she did look like she would rather be anywhere but there.

"…" she refused to make eye contact.

He sighed. "Tenten, did you mean what you said?"

She looked up sharply, opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She contemplated lying for about one third of a second, saying it was like sisterly love, and then that idea was shot down because Lee was looking at her so earnestly and she couldn't not tell the truth. (For a moment, she thought about recommending that Lee join the interrogation squad, because even the most hardened criminals would have a hard time resisting Lee's puppy-dog eyes.)

"Yes?" she said, though it sounded more like a question than a statement. So much for giving Lee some room.

"Oh." He blinked a few times, the blush returning full force. He didn't say anything else, just stared at Tenten like he was trying to figure out whether or not he was hallucinating (which was a distinct possibility since Tsunade had increased the dosage of pain meds in a futile attempt to keep him groggy and out of trouble).

Tenten scowled, though her own blush didn't fade. "That's all you have to say?" she snapped, her patience stretched thin due to the embarrassing position, both physically and emotionally.

He cleared his throat and broke eye contact. "I didn't quite think this through," he finally admitted.

"Tell me about it," she muttered, rolling her eyes. That earned her eye contact and a smile though.

"Would you do me the honor of allowing me to take you to dinner?" he asked, his voice steady despite the blush.

Tenten blinked once, twice, her mouth hanging open. "I thought you were in love with Sakura," she finally managed. Then her eyes narrowed as a though occurred to her. Was he only asking her out because he felt sorry for her?

"No," he said, rather plainly, and Tenten had never been more confused in her entire life. "I pursued Sakura because, yes, I thought she was beautiful, and a wonderful person, but mostly because the girl I really liked was way out of my league." By the end he was muttering and shuffling his feet. That wasn't the important thing, though. The important thing was that Lee had just told her that he liked her, and had for a long time.

"No dating until you check out of the hospital."

Lee looked up, confusion evident in the way he stared at Tenten's deadly serious expression. Shouldn't they both be happy and smiling or something?

But then her lip twitched, and then it was a short jump to relieved laughter, and Lee couldn't help but join her. At least, until she reached up, cupped one of his cheeks and kissed the other.

He promptly melted into a blushing puddle of happiness. Tenten started laughing again as she skipped away. This wasn't even close to how she had imagined it. (She had pictured something with more misunderstandings, stuttering, public humiliation, and maybe a small explosion or two.)

However, she wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Following on the heels of that pleasant thought was a less pleasant one. She turned around and went back because Lee wasn't supposed to be out of the hospital. If he hadn't already started making his way back Lady Hokage wouldn't be the only woman he had to worry about.

A/N Epilogue Thingy:

Lee eventually did make up with his family after several weeks of prodding and a promise to wear a dress by Tenten.

When she had finally followed through on the promise Lee had promptly fainted.

Later, Sakura diagnosed it was due to blood loss from a massive nose bleed.

Lee was actually a pervert. Who knew?